Has the PUA community sent me delusional?

[Colossus]

Dry spells happen to the best of us. Sometimes things just don't work out. Dates aren't that good, work has you coming in 7 days a week, you name it. I find that being in a 'funk' is like a downward spiral, you keep reinforcing your beliefs with negative thoughts which manifest themselves into sub par interactions. When you based your success on said interactions, it continues to bring your mood down even more.

Well put. Rollo had a good observation in that sometimes "dry spell" can be a cop out for lack of game, but I think for most of us here when there is a dry spell it's usually circumstantial.

I'm in one of those sparse periods right now and it really boils down to some bad social conditions (long hours at work, new job, friends moved away, existing friends married, etc) and that I simply dont hit on enough women. Unless you are unusually high status like Boilermaker's dad, I think for most of us it is a number game to some extent.


But you are right, the 'funk' becomes a self-reinforcing loop. Negative conditions = negative attitude = negative interactions = negative outcomes = further negative thoughts and so on. It's tough to break, but all it takes is one really good interaction and that can snowball in the right direction. A "slumpbuster" if you will.

 

[zekko]

I'd expect a guy who is 47 years old should already have established a solid-circle of friends and acquaintances to generate play without trying so hard.

I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion. I have fewer friends now at 51 than I did at your age. There are a number of reasons for this:

1) Some friends and family have died
2) Some have moved away and/or lost touch
3) Some have drifted away as we've changed directions in life
4) I don't drink anymore, so there's one big social outlet gone (probably a key part of your dad's social life)
5) I don't play music in bands anymore, another social outlet gone
6) I have more responsibilities now that keep me busy, odd work hours, maintaining the house, etc.
7) Fewer unattached friends at my age that want to go out
8) I don't play certain sports anymore, so no reason to hang around with those people anymore
9) I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend
10) As a natural introvert, I long ago proved to myself that I can socialize well, and having done that I'm not as driven to be with people as I was.
11) Less patience for just hanging around with people as opposed to doing something productive (like working on a project or such)
12) Generally less energy spread out over more things, leaving less time for socializing

That's just my experience. Point is, everybody is different. PUAs tend to want to put everybody into the same shoebox, but they're not.

 

[georgie24]

Are you fishing where the fish are?

When I read some guy use the term 'dry spell' it's usually due to one of two things: He's an AFC or a recovering AFC with only a tentative grasp of Game and is in the learning stages of applied Game, OR, he's got a Game, has a workable estimation of his SMV and knows how to demonstrate it (DHV), but due to logistics and/or his environment lacks the opportunities to effectively hook up as he'd like to.

From your description here I'm inclined to believe the latter. Even with marginal Game application a guy such as yourself could be expected to be reasonably attractive enough to generate interest in the right arena.

Maybe you need to change up your environment? Find a new venue to meet women?

:rockon:

 

[sodbuster]

Well, I currently have a 30 year old making a move on me. When she found out my age[same as her mothers] it slowed her down for about 10 minutes.... but then she's been trying to land me for a long time. I had to educate her a bit... think she has finally figured out that her "p" isn't as important to me as it is to a 17 yr old. I won't put up with sh1t.

 

[Flatnose]

Well, I currently have a 30 year old making a move on me. When she found out my age[same as her mothers] it slowed her down for about 10 minutes.... but then she's been trying to land me for a long time. I had to educate her a bit... think she has finally figured out that her "p" isn't as important to me as it is to a 17 yr old. I won't put up with sh1t.

Inspirational!

 

[sodbuster]

Well, there was a dry spell for me for a bit....but in Deer season, if you shoot the first deer you see.... you never shoot the big one. You may end up walking 10-20 miles and not see what you want. BUT you know you tried. Big deer or none for me.