In our time, the sense of community has gone away, so there’s no more meeting your future wife at church, a city event, work, etc.
A former member made a point about social scenes vs circles. Social circles have somewhat dried up due to women not wanting to risk blowing up their circle by dating in it. So places like church are not what they used to be. However, social scenes that don't have really close group supervision blow online dating out of the water.
I agree that there's less of a scene of community. Church has been declining for decades as a way of meeting women for LTRs for a variety reasons. Meeting people through friends/acquaintances has been declining since the 1980s, but still represents a sizable portion of how relationships form. The path of meeting through friends/acquaintances is still an easier path than swipe apps or approaching strangers if there's already a good social network in place. I've never had that social network for a variety of reasons, including frequent relocations prior to my late 20s.
What's the difference between a social scene and social circle? I'm not quite following.
Even in my main social group in my current city, 2 couples formed through social circle. There were multiple men competing for them in the circle. These are women who would have rated in the 5.5 - 6.5 rating range for most men. Both have rather dull personalities and one had a prudish reputation. They both got men from my social circle to compete intensely for them and had their choice of men in the circle. Additionally, the men in my circle did make marriage proposals to them.
One friend who I met in my current city arrived in my current city with a girlfriend from college. In college, their meeting story was a combination of having a class together + a social circle competition.
I agree that in general a social scene/social circle without what
@LARaiders85 calls close group supervision is an easier path. Even with that, what I said about social circles below still applies.
Social circle is great for getting a girlfriend. Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year relationship (and counting) relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.
A social circle introduction is a higher percentage play than a swipe app interaction or approaching a stranger (either in a bar or non-bar setting). It's a more difficult path and it's not a path I recommend highly. Social circle is better in the shorter to medium term. You can get a solid, medium term (1-4 years) girlfriend via social circles more easily than through approaches or swiping more easily.
The problem with social circles becomes sustainability over a longer period of time (5+ years). Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circle is not likely ideal for a serial monogamist who does have extended relationships but doesn't commit or the player type who tends to have relationships of less than 1 year.
The other options either have too much friction or too much investment with a high rate of failure.
Earlier in this thread, I covered the potential high rates of failure with other methods. I didn't discuss the friction concept.
I think friction is a good thing for men but might not be as good for women.
Environments with greater friction lead to women treating men worse at the beginning of the interaction. Women have no issues with ghosting men or flaking on agreed upon plans with men when they have met these men through a swipe app, social media DM, or a stranger approach in many of the venues discussed in the first post of the thread. In a situation with greater social friction like a social sphere/social circle introduction, women will behave a little bit better. Even when a relationship doesn't form, the woman will treat the man better in the early stages. She won't ghost or flake because she doesn't want to hear about her ghosting or flaking from her friends or acquaintances.
In app swiping or stranger approaches, women's social circles are never informed when she ghosts or flakes. In those cases, she has no motivation to treat a man in a decent manner. In most cases, her treatment of a man will be worse than if she initially started an interaction with a man in a frictional environment.
At 6'2, good looking and a salesman... OLD might be the best option.
Swipe apps are worth doing for men 6'0" + and good looking. Is it the best option? It depends on what the man wants out of his interactions with women.
For a 6'0"+ guy with a solid physique and decent volleyball skills, I'd recommend volleyball for pickup. I'd recommend sand over indoor. However, for the 6'0"+ guy with a good physique, I don't think that sand volleyball is any more efficient than swipe apps or randoming approaching at bars. That type of guy is going to have success in all formats. It's a matter of how much screen time he wants to put in on his smartphone vs. how much real life approaching he wants to do. I think it would be more fun for a 6'0"+ guy with sand volleyball skill to pick up women through volleyball than to sit on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge and swipe. It'd be a better use of time for that guy to play volleyball in terms of getting longer term relationships. That'd be the use case where I'd recommend volleyball over the swipe apps. It's a realistic scenario for a 6'2" guy to a get a 5'9"-6'0" volleyball playing girlfriend and that scenario has a better chance of lasting longer than flings with Tinderellas, most of whom are 5'6" and under.
While a 6'0"+ guy can achieve sex through the swipe apps, I still think that a 6'0"+ guy has a better chance finding something with greater long term potential through some real life method.
For the rest of the guys who are not above average, OLD is a nightmare.
Also, since OLD literally flat out does not work for most men, your post makes no sense. It's not even a comparable option.
The swipe apps are very difficult if you're not in the Top 20% of men. That means a rating an 8 or higher usually on looks. Let's remember that Game is a combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Personality isn't going to come across on apps. Looks are the most obvious thing on apps. Money/status can be shown on apps, but you'd have to have really obvious displays of wealth. You'd have to own an top tier boat or car.
Even men with looks in the 6-7.9 range aren't positioned to have a great time on apps. 6-7.9 are reasonably good looks. I have had my photos rated online and I've been in the high 6's/low 7's range. It gets worse if the man rates in the 5-5.9 range and even worse for sub 5 men.
Social media DMing is also dependent upon your looks (more true on Instagram than Twitter), your Follower count, and your ratio of Followers to Following. You need more Followers than Following and you need to be somewhere in the thousands on Followers. Otherwise, Instagram/Twitter DM game is a waste of time.
