Half-azz apology from her, or am I being too stiff here?

[manfrombelow]

Context:

1. Last Friday, I forgot a date that I kind of discussed with this chick (not fixed yet, we were talking on the phone, and just discussing that we gonna meet this Friday), so the next day (Saturday), she got mad, started to complain how I didn't miss her and never initiated text.

2. In her text, she said something along the line of how I "fvcking forgot the date" (English is not our mother tongue, but my translation conveys almost 99% the tone and the language choice in this context).

3. I said sorry for forgetting the date, and she continued saying that she's "very mad at me" (her words), to which I said sth along the line of:

"Alright, I already apologized for the forgotten date. I'm not a fan of texting, but I'm willing to improve this. When you're done being mad at me, and want to meet me, let me know. See you!"

4. So, this morning, after re-reading some topics on SS about how we as men should discipline and put our women to their places, I initiated a this text on this domestic texting app, since I'm not from the West, which we always used to chat:

"It's not right to use swearwords in texting like you did. It's disrespectful. You're free to communicate your needs, wants, and emotions to me in a mature and direct way, don't need to get aggressive."

5. Now is where things got interesting: She had blocked me. (Mind you, this chick always told me how she has the habit of "blocking" her younger sister (let's call this A), and another best friend (let's call this B) whenver she's "mad" at them.)

6. Wow, so I guess this is her pattern/way of behaving whenever she's "mad" at somebody.

7. So, I went to WhatsApp (another app we seldome used), on which she didn't block me, and send her sth along the line of:

"Hey, in case you forgot, I'm not A or B, so you should not block me just because you're mad, especially since I already said I'm sorry (and I meant it). That's toxic, full of drama, and immature behavior. And I won't tolerate that kind of behavior in this relationship, with you or anyone else. Don't ever pull this sh!t on me again!."

8. I knew she saw the message, no reponses. I went back to the other app and check: She has unblocked me, still without any responses.

9. After almost a whole day, she sent me this, which I interpreted as a "half-azz" apology (the translation conveyed almost 99% the tone and language choice):

"I don't know what else to say, but I want to apologize to you first because you might feel disrespected (although I didn't mean it that way, depending on how you perceive it). I don't intend to say anything else because I'm under quite a bit of pressure, my mental health is not okay, but I will temporarily handle what I can.

I've been giving myself the silent treatment to regulate my emotions, maybe I'm burning out so everything seems more serious. But I don't like the way you "correct" me as if teaching me instead of understanding my behavior. I've emphasized many times that I never mean any harm in my words, and I'm also adjusting (I'm also educated), but not to the extent that I need you to provide a template for me to behave according to your standards.

(=> This girl is not used to having a true strong father figure to teach her things. She's from a matriarchy family where her mother dictated everything in the house. She told me this. Girls without a strong father figure somehow hates it when being corrected and put into place by men in general.)

I think you should limit talking to me, I think you’re right when not texting me, and keep acting like that from now on.

I've just recovered from a few breakdowns, and honestly, since meeting you until now, I've never been emotionally stable because it's just the beginning stages of psychological recovery. That's why I couldn't control myself over such trivial things.

So, in summary, right now I need time to return to a stable state, because it's been really difficult for me to get to this current state, I don't want to endure any more bouts of depression.

Anyway, I apologize for anything that has not been satisfactory to you up to the present moment."

10. So my questions are:

- Was this really a half-azz apology, or am I being too fvcking stiff? I really didn't feel like I was actually apologized to reading her text.
- What should I do now? Deploy Silence & Distance? I haven't replied her since.

Big thanks, fellas!

 

[Manure Spherian]

What should I do now?

Find another woman or go to Las Vegas.

 

[RickPound]

You should’ve just left it at your first message and then went about your life (including other women) until she reached out.

No need to join her in her own emotional rollercoaster. Your silence after the first message would’ve said what you were trying to say with all the follow up messages.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

All around this just comes across as weak from you from apologizing for missing a date you never actually set to trying to show her "how manly" you were by chasing her around after she blocked you onto another platform like you were a butt-hurt little boy.

Misapplication of principles in the wrong context is what this mostly seems like.

If she was on the fence about you you definitely pushed her on the other side instead of pulling her towards your side.

What should you do?

Nothing. You've already dug yourself a huge hole that could have been avoided by simply doing nothing, no need to continue digging any deeper. She will reach out to you when and if she wants to.

 

[The Diver]

Context:

1. Last Friday, I forgot a date that I kind of discussed with this chick (not fixed yet, we were talking on the phone, and just discussing that we gonna meet this Friday), so the next day (Saturday), she got mad, started to complain how I didn't miss her and never initiated text.

2. In her text, she said something along the line of how I "fvcking forgot the date" (English is not our mother tongue, but my translation conveys almost 99% the tone and the language choice in this context).

3. I said sorry for forgetting the date, and she continued saying that she's "very mad at me" (her words), to which I said sth along the line of:

"Alright, I already apologized for the forgotten date. I'm not a fan of texting, but I'm willing to improve this. When you're done being mad at me, and want to meet me, let me know. See you!"

4. So, this morning, after re-reading some topics on SS about how we as men should discipline and put our women to their places, I initiated a this text on this domestic texting app, since I'm not from the West, which we always used to chat:

"It's not right to use swearwords in texting like you did. It's disrespectful. You're free to communicate your needs, wants, and emotions to me in a mature and direct way, don't need to get aggressive."

5. Now is where things got interesting: She had blocked me. (Mind you, this chick always told me how she has the habit of "blocking" her younger sister (let's call this A), and another best friend (let's call this B) whenver she's "mad" at them.)

6. Wow, so I guess this is her pattern/way of behaving whenever she's "mad" at somebody.

7. So, I went to WhatsApp (another app we seldome used), on which she didn't block me, and send her sth along the line of:

"Hey, in case you forgot, I'm not A or B, so you should not block me just because you're mad, especially since I already said I'm sorry (and I meant it). That's toxic, full of drama, and immature behavior. And I won't tolerate that kind of behavior in this relationship, with you or anyone else. Don't ever pull this sh!t on me again!."

8. I knew she saw the message, no reponses. I went back to the other app and check: She has unblocked me, still without any responses.

9. After almost a whole day, she sent me this, which I interpreted as a "half-azz" apology (the translation conveyed almost 99% the tone and language choice):

"I don't know what else to say, but I want to apologize to you first because you might feel disrespected (although I didn't mean it that way, depending on how you perceive it). I don't intend to say anything else because I'm under quite a bit of pressure, my mental health is not okay, but I will temporarily handle what I can.

I've been giving myself the silent treatment to regulate my emotions, maybe I'm burning out so everything seems more serious. But I don't like the way you "correct" me as if teaching me instead of understanding my behavior. I've emphasized many times that I never mean any harm in my words, and I'm also adjusting (I'm also educated), but not to the extent that I need you to provide a template for me to behave according to your standards.

(=> This girl is not used to having a true strong father figure to teach her things. She's from a matriarchy family where her mother dictated everything in the house. She told me this. Girls without a strong father figure somehow hates it when being corrected and put into place by men in general.)

I think you should limit talking to me, I think you’re right when not texting me, and keep acting like that from now on.

I've just recovered from a few breakdowns, and honestly, since meeting you until now, I've never been emotionally stable because it's just the beginning stages of psychological recovery. That's why I couldn't control myself over such trivial things.

So, in summary, right now I need time to return to a stable state, because it's been really difficult for me to get to this current state, I don't want to endure any more bouts of depression.

Anyway, I apologize for anything that has not been satisfactory to you up to the present moment."

10. So my questions are:

- Was this really a half-azz apology, or am I being too fvcking stiff? I really didn't feel like I was actually apologized to reading her text.
- What should I do now? Deploy Silence & Distance? I haven't replied her since.

Big thanks, fellas!

What a drama over nothing.
It would be best if you had kept your self-control, replied calmly once, and refused to participate in her drama.

Anyway, she sounds like hard work. Find you a woman who is fun to be with.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- Dude...........this woman is really worth your time?

Eject!

 

[CornbreadFed]

Block this girl and never talk to her again. If you continue to talk to this woman then you are a complete fool. If this girl is acting like this now, then expect 70% more intensity and other new tricks as the relationship progresses.

 

[BPH]

3. I said sorry for forgetting the date, and she continued saying that she's "very mad at me" (her words)

This is where it should've ended.

Imagine if a girl didn't show up to a date with you and you texted her saying you were "very mad" that they stood you up AFTER they apologized. Do you think that would make somebody MORE or LESS likely to reschedule and actually meet up?

Everything after this is unnecessary drama - on both ends.

 

[Bokanovsky]

"I don't know what else to say, but I want to apologize to you first because you might feel disrespected (although I didn't mean it that way, depending on how you perceive it). I don't intend to say anything else because I'm under quite a bit of pressure, my mental health is not okay, but I will temporarily handle what I can.

I've been giving myself the silent treatment to regulate my emotions, maybe I'm burning out so everything seems more serious. But I don't like the way you "correct" me as if teaching me instead of understanding my behavior. I've emphasized many times that I never mean any harm in my words, and I'm also adjusting (I'm also educated), but not to the extent that I need you to provide a template for me to behave according to your standards.

(=> This girl is not used to having a true strong father figure to teach her things. She's from a matriarchy family where her mother dictated everything in the house. She told me this. Girls without a strong father figure somehow hates it when being corrected and put into place by men in general.)

I think you should limit talking to me, I think you’re right when not texting me, and keep acting like that from now on.

I've just recovered from a few breakdowns, and honestly, since meeting you until now, I've never been emotionally stable because it's just the beginning stages of psychological recovery. That's why I couldn't control myself over such trivial things.

So, in summary, right now I need time to return to a stable state, because it's been really difficult for me to get to this current state, I don't want to endure any more bouts of depression.

Anyway, I apologize for anything that has not been satisfactory to you up to the present moment."

10. So my questions are:

- Was this really a half-azz apology, or am I being too fvcking stiff? I really didn't feel like I was actually apologized to reading her text.
- What should I do now? Deploy Silence & Distance? I haven't replied her since.

Big thanks, fellas!

What should you do? That's simple. Stay away from crazy b!tches.

 

[dude99]

Context:

1. Last Friday, I forgot a date that I kind of discussed with this chick (not fixed yet, we were talking on the phone, and just discussing that we gonna meet this Friday), so the next day (Saturday), she got mad, started to complain how I didn't miss her and never initiated text.

2. In her text, she said something along the line of how I "fvcking forgot the date" (English is not our mother tongue, but my translation conveys almost 99% the tone and the language choice in this context).

3. I said sorry for forgetting the date, and she continued saying that she's "very mad at me" (her words), to which I said sth along the line of:

"Alright, I already apologized for the forgotten date. I'm not a fan of texting, but I'm willing to improve this. When you're done being mad at me, and want to meet me, let me know. See you!"

4. So, this morning, after re-reading some topics on SS about how we as men should discipline and put our women to their places, I initiated a this text on this domestic texting app, since I'm not from the West, which we always used to chat:

"It's not right to use swearwords in texting like you did. It's disrespectful. You're free to communicate your needs, wants, and emotions to me in a mature and direct way, don't need to get aggressive."

5. Now is where things got interesting: She had blocked me. (Mind you, this chick always told me how she has the habit of "blocking" her younger sister (let's call this A), and another best friend (let's call this B) whenver she's "mad" at them.)

6. Wow, so I guess this is her pattern/way of behaving whenever she's "mad" at somebody.

7. So, I went to WhatsApp (another app we seldome used), on which she didn't block me, and send her sth along the line of:

"Hey, in case you forgot, I'm not A or B, so you should not block me just because you're mad, especially since I already said I'm sorry (and I meant it). That's toxic, full of drama, and immature behavior. And I won't tolerate that kind of behavior in this relationship, with you or anyone else. Don't ever pull this sh!t on me again!."

8. I knew she saw the message, no reponses. I went back to the other app and check: She has unblocked me, still without any responses.

9. After almost a whole day, she sent me this, which I interpreted as a "half-azz" apology (the translation conveyed almost 99% the tone and language choice):

"I don't know what else to say, but I want to apologize to you first because you might feel disrespected (although I didn't mean it that way, depending on how you perceive it). I don't intend to say anything else because I'm under quite a bit of pressure, my mental health is not okay, but I will temporarily handle what I can.

I've been giving myself the silent treatment to regulate my emotions, maybe I'm burning out so everything seems more serious. But I don't like the way you "correct" me as if teaching me instead of understanding my behavior. I've emphasized many times that I never mean any harm in my words, and I'm also adjusting (I'm also educated), but not to the extent that I need you to provide a template for me to behave according to your standards.

(=> This girl is not used to having a true strong father figure to teach her things. She's from a matriarchy family where her mother dictated everything in the house. She told me this. Girls without a strong father figure somehow hates it when being corrected and put into place by men in general.)

I think you should limit talking to me, I think you’re right when not texting me, and keep acting like that from now on.

I've just recovered from a few breakdowns, and honestly, since meeting you until now, I've never been emotionally stable because it's just the beginning stages of psychological recovery. That's why I couldn't control myself over such trivial things.

So, in summary, right now I need time to return to a stable state, because it's been really difficult for me to get to this current state, I don't want to endure any more bouts of depression.

Anyway, I apologize for anything that has not been satisfactory to you up to the present moment."

10. So my questions are:

- Was this really a half-azz apology, or am I being too fvcking stiff? I really didn't feel like I was actually apologized to reading her text.
- What should I do now? Deploy Silence & Distance? I haven't replied her since.

Big thanks, fellas!

"my mental health is not okay,"


This right here is all you need to know.

Next. She will use her mental health as an excuse for bad behaviour until you finally have enough and walk away.

Unless you want to be mentally abused and ride the Rollercoaster of drama, next this one.

 

[AttackFormation]

This is just my opinion, not from any textbook. Id say you are overreacting to her communication and, i did this next mistake myself recently. Youre sabotaging the interaction by working against her nature as a woman.

Overreaction. All the extra steps after your first response accomplished nothing except digging a greater and more pointless hole for yourself. Sabotage. Women like to feel emotions and express them. They dont enjoy living through an "emotional vacuum" where theyre only allowed to behave formally, like a business exchange, but thats how you are telling her to behave. And deep down i think you dont want her to behave like that either, i think you want her to be a woman. So i think the tone of your extra messages was needlessly belittling also, but more fundamentally the problem is your message content is completely counterproductive. I see myself as being the solid rock, but i dont expect or really desire her to become one because her emotions are part of what makes her a woman. Id be more easygoing with her emotions, just enjoy the ride and go with the flow. And not treat it like an opportunity to put her down.

But thats just my perspective.

 

[manfrombelow]

Update: I fvcked her countless times and am now holding solid frame now. And one critical lesson I gained is that with chicks, especially young ones, is:

1. LESS IS MORE
2. LET THEM BE.
3. DON'T ARGUE
4. DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONAL
5. DON'T REACT EMOTIONALLY (this is linked with number 4)

Yesterday she told me she feels "safe and fun" everytime she goes out with me. Which means I'm holding frame. That's it fellas!

 

[CornbreadFed]

Update: I fvcked her countless times and am now holding solid frame now. And one critical lesson I gained is that with chicks, especially young ones, is:

1. LESS IS MORE
2. LET THEM BE.
3. DON'T ARGUE
4. DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONAL
5. DON'T REACT EMOTIONALLY (this is linked with number 4)

Yesterday she told me she feels "safe and fun" everytime she goes out with me. Which means I'm holding frame. That's it fellas!

You are not holding frame; you are a fool to even give this woman a second chance.

 

[Learning Curve]

Context:

1. Last Friday, I forgot a date that I kind of discussed with this chick (not fixed yet, we were talking on the phone, and just discussing that we gonna meet this Friday), so the next day (Saturday), she got mad, started to complain how I didn't miss her and never initiated text.

2. In her text, she said something along the line of how I "fvcking forgot the date" (English is not our mother tongue, but my translation conveys almost 99% the tone and the language choice in this context).

3. I said sorry for forgetting the date, and she continued saying that she's "very mad at me" (her words), to which I said sth along the line of:

"Alright, I already apologized for the forgotten date. I'm not a fan of texting, but I'm willing to improve this. When you're done being mad at me, and want to meet me, let me know. See you!"

4. So, this morning, after re-reading some topics on SS about how we as men should discipline and put our women to their places, I initiated a this text on this domestic texting app, since I'm not from the West, which we always used to chat:

"It's not right to use swearwords in texting like you did. It's disrespectful. You're free to communicate your needs, wants, and emotions to me in a mature and direct way, don't need to get aggressive."

5. Now is where things got interesting: She had blocked me. (Mind you, this chick always told me how she has the habit of "blocking" her younger sister (let's call this A), and another best friend (let's call this B) whenver she's "mad" at them.)

6. Wow, so I guess this is her pattern/way of behaving whenever she's "mad" at somebody.

7. So, I went to WhatsApp (another app we seldome used), on which she didn't block me, and send her sth along the line of:

"Hey, in case you forgot, I'm not A or B, so you should not block me just because you're mad, especially since I already said I'm sorry (and I meant it). That's toxic, full of drama, and immature behavior. And I won't tolerate that kind of behavior in this relationship, with you or anyone else. Don't ever pull this sh!t on me again!."

8. I knew she saw the message, no reponses. I went back to the other app and check: She has unblocked me, still without any responses.

9. After almost a whole day, she sent me this, which I interpreted as a "half-azz" apology (the translation conveyed almost 99% the tone and language choice):

"I don't know what else to say, but I want to apologize to you first because you might feel disrespected (although I didn't mean it that way, depending on how you perceive it). I don't intend to say anything else because I'm under quite a bit of pressure, my mental health is not okay, but I will temporarily handle what I can.

I've been giving myself the silent treatment to regulate my emotions, maybe I'm burning out so everything seems more serious. But I don't like the way you "correct" me as if teaching me instead of understanding my behavior. I've emphasized many times that I never mean any harm in my words, and I'm also adjusting (I'm also educated), but not to the extent that I need you to provide a template for me to behave according to your standards.

(=> This girl is not used to having a true strong father figure to teach her things. She's from a matriarchy family where her mother dictated everything in the house. She told me this. Girls without a strong father figure somehow hates it when being corrected and put into place by men in general.)

I think you should limit talking to me, I think you’re right when not texting me, and keep acting like that from now on.

I've just recovered from a few breakdowns, and honestly, since meeting you until now, I've never been emotionally stable because it's just the beginning stages of psychological recovery. That's why I couldn't control myself over such trivial things.

So, in summary, right now I need time to return to a stable state, because it's been really difficult for me to get to this current state, I don't want to endure any more bouts of depression.

Anyway, I apologize for anything that has not been satisfactory to you up to the present moment."

10. So my questions are:

- Was this really a half-azz apology, or am I being too fvcking stiff? I really didn't feel like I was actually apologized to reading her text.
- What should I do now? Deploy Silence & Distance? I haven't replied her since.

Big thanks, fellas!

To be honest this is just a typical woman drama because you have forgotten a date.

The good thing about all this is that you have triggered a reaction and you can see how she handles situations like this. Not good.

Blocking you and acting like an immature kid is a no-go and a red flag for me. Anything can happen, circumstances change and people have sh1t to do. If she handles something like that this way imagine if you have an argument or something more serious.

My ex was like that and I had 4 years of misery.

Make a choice and either go out with her if the circumstances align maybe you will like her personality and it was just a moment of bad reaction for her or eject.

Edit:

Just saw your recent post.

Good for you.

 

[manfrombelow]

You are not holding frame; you are a fool to even give this woman a second chance.

Right, because obviously you know my situation even better than I do.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Right, because obviously you know my situation even better than I do.

so you are withholding information out of self interest? I only know what you posted on the OP.

 

[LTG71]

You forgot a date and she went full tilt psycho. This is the type of drama that you’re going to have to deal with. No thanks

 

[AttackFormation]

Update: I fvcked her countless times and am now holding solid frame now. And one critical lesson I gained is that with chicks, especially young ones, is:

1. LESS IS MORE
2. LET THEM BE.
3. DON'T ARGUE
4. DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONAL
5. DON'T REACT EMOTIONALLY (this is linked with number 4)

Yesterday she told me she feels "safe and fun" everytime she goes out with me. Which means I'm holding frame. That's it fellas!

Thats it bro, now youre back on track. Some of the guys here are like religious fanatics... taking every emotion a woman has like a fight to the death for ideology and dominance... just surf the waves, chill and enjoy the ride.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Thats it bro, now youre back on track. Some of the guys here are like religious fanatics... taking every emotion a woman has like a fight to the death for ideology and dominance... just surf the waves, chill and enjoy the ride.

Why sail the Atlantic in a crappy pontoon boat when you can fly across it first class?

 

[AttackFormation]

Why sail the Atlantic in a crappy pontoon boat when you can fly across it first class?

Because total comfort and convenience in getting from A to B wasnt the goal. Some of us like feeling the pulse of life... we arent looking for a passive fly-through.