Guys who 'quickly' make moves.

[Maxtro]

This is for the guys who try to make moves on a girl before or on the 1st date, possibly the second.

Why do you do it?

Is it out of passion that you just can't help yourself? Is it because your just horny? Or is it forced and you do it because you feel that you have to? Another reason that I missed?

Did you always make a quick move?

Feel free to use whatever interpretation of what 'moves' mean to you but please explain it in your post. Whether it means trying to bang her, kiss her etc.

Heck, even if you don't make quick moves I'd like to hear why not.

 

[Rex Man]

You don't have to disrespect her, but you always make the move as soon as the comfort level is there, (1st, 2nd meeting, tops) and here's why....IT IS ALWAYS BENEFICIAL!.

Stop. Read it again, and remember it.

Not matter what you're looking for or what kind of women you're dealing with, women always appreciate an assertive man. Hell, society does.

Does history honor the week and timid or the brave and assertive? Even if you cross the line by a step or two with a woman, it will be forgiven much faster than if you're too scared or "honorable" to find out where that line is.

This is a major reason jerks can stay with women after the unthinkable and 2-3 nice guys are left holding the (presumably tiny) sacs.

There is a theme park of men out there for women and there are long lines for the unpredictable roller coasters while the safe teacups are left to twirl about by themselves.

 

[Tesl]

Because I want to, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that. If I'm with a girl I'm interested in why wouldn't I want to get sexual?

 

[mustfirstregister]

because i wanna bang her.

 

[joe henny]

Because I am not a ball-less pusy

 

[pipe007]

I try the first date, second at max... if nothing happens by the third date, then you are in the friend zone, or just a puss.

to me if nothing happens by the second date, I let them go. its that easy
why do I make a move?
because it feels good, because its right

because I can

the question is

WHY DONT YOU DO IT?

 

[Maxtro]

WHY DONT YOU DO IT?

Thread isn't about me.

I'm just trying to see why guys do what they do.

BTW, by trying, are guys talking about trying to kiss, have sex with her, what?

 

[Tesl]

As far as possible, really. Obviously you don't jump into bed right away, but you should be escalating immediately. Before you have even said words to each other, ideally.

 

[horaholic]

cuz someone else will.

 

[Jitterbug]

Because it's good manners.

 

[Igetit!]

This is for the guys who try to make moves on a girl before or on the 1st date, possibly the second.

Why do you do it?

Why do we make moves on the first or second date? Uhhh....isn't that the WHOLE POINT of even bothering to approach a woman in the first place?


Women AREN'T stupid. They're not dumb. If you take the time to approach a girl,ask for her number,or simply just ask her out,you think that she doesn't know that you're SEXUALLY interested in her?



If you ask a girl out,go out with her,then while on the date you try to hug,kiss,or touch her in some way,it's not a shock or surprise to her. In fact,if you're out on the date,and DON'T TRY ANYTHING,she'll wonder what the deal is,especially if it's the second date or beyond.

Is it out of passion that you just can't help yourself?

I wouldn't say that. For me,when I try to hug,kiss,or touch the girl,I'm just doing what I wanted to do the first time I saw her.

Imo,the date is just to get her comfortable enough to let me do it.

Feel free to use whatever interpretation of what 'moves' mean to you but please explain it in your post.

By "moves" I mean kissing and playing with her boobs. It differs with each girl,though.



I try NOT to have sex on the first date. The thing is,I try to keep in mind the girl's comfort level,but more importantly,I also want to avoid the whole buyer's remorse thing of the girl going "all the way",then afterwards she disappears and avoids you because she feels like a slvt.

I don't like it when a girl gets buyer's remorse. It makes ME FEEL uncomfortable when a girl you just slept with get's all cold and frigid and acts like she can't wait to get away from you.

Heck, even if you don't make quick moves I'd like to hear why not.

Well we'd like to hear why YOU don't make ANY moves AT ALL. What do you think is going to happen? You think you'll get rejected?


Uhh...yeah,so? So what if you do? How is that any different from what's currently happening with the nerd girl and the "bike ride" chick?



I'd rather get turned down ON THE DATE than to get friendzoned and never even make it to the date.

 

[J. Darko]

Huh???

You won't even get a date if you don't make a move. At least not a romantic one. And on a romantic date it's impossible not to make a move because she will be asking for it really hard.

Not that you would understand. You have Asperger Syndrome.

 

[Maxtro]

Hmm, so the general reason is because you want to.

I'm just doing what I wanted to do the first time I saw her.

Imo,the date is just to get her comfortable enough to let me do it.

And that desire came the first time you saw her.

Well we'd like to hear why YOU don't make ANY moves AT ALL. What do you think is going to happen? You think you'll get rejected?

I wanted to avoid talking about myself in this thread but I'll do it.

When I first meet a girl, I don't have the desire to sleep with her, kiss her etc. I don't get those feelings till after I start liking her. Even then they take a long time to get to that level.

Yesterday I was sitting outside studying for a test and nerd girl sits down in-front of me and starts talking to me. I looked at her eyes, her face, her lips and then that was the first time that I realized that I wanted to kiss her, which of course I did not do.

I want to have sex with girls but it takes a while for that thought to manifest itself in a specific girl. Even then it takes some time to go from thinking I want her, to knowing that I do.

TLDR version: When I'm with a girl on the first or second hang-out, I don't make a move because I don't have the desire to do so.

Why I don't have that desire, may be an issue.

You won't even get a date if you don't make a move. At least not a romantic one. And on a romantic date it's impossible not to make a move because she will be asking for it really hard.

Not that you would understand. You have Asperger Syndrome.

I don't think I've ever been on a romantic date. The closest thing was probably the bike ride thing. All the other times it was just hanging out. Of course physical moves do not need to be made to get that far.

So when I have hung with girls, they were not obviously asking for me to do something. Me making a move on those occasions actually seemed inappropriate. If I was actually on a romantic date with a girl I would try to kiss her because I know that she considers it a possibility. Unfortunately getting a romantic date is much harder than getting a hang-out.

No I don't have Aspergers.

 

[Lucifero]

This is for the guys who try to make moves on a girl before or on the 1st date, possibly the second.

Why do you do it?

Is it out of passion that you just can't help yourself? Is it because your just horny? Or is it forced and you do it because you feel that you have to? Another reason that I missed?

Did you always make a quick move?

Feel free to use whatever interpretation of what 'moves' mean to you but please explain it in your post. Whether it means trying to bang her, kiss her etc.

Heck, even if you don't make quick moves I'd like to hear why not.

Because I value my time and dont want to waste it on some broad who wont put out.

 

[Lucifero]

Hmm, so the general reason is because you want to.


And that desire came the first time you saw her.

I wanted to avoid talking about myself in this thread but I'll do it.

When I first meet a girl, I don't have the desire to sleep with her, kiss her etc. I don't get those feelings till after I start liking her. Even then they take a long time to get to that level.

Yesterday I was sitting outside studying for a test and nerd girl sits down in-front of me and starts talking to me. I looked at her eyes, her face, her lips and then that was the first time that I realized that I wanted to kiss her, which of course I did not do.

I want to have sex with girls but it takes a while for that thought to manifest itself in a specific girl. Even then it takes some time to go from thinking I want her, to knowing that I do.

TLDR version: When I'm with a girl on the first or second hang-out, I don't make a move because I don't have the desire to do so.

Why I don't have that desire, may be an issue.

I don't think I've ever been on a romantic date. The closest thing was probably the bike ride thing. All the other times it was just hanging out. Of course physical moves do not need to be made to get that far.

So when I have hung with girls, they were not obviously asking for me to do something. Me making a move on those occasions actually seemed inappropriate. If I was actually on a romantic date with a girl I would try to kiss her because I know that she considers it a possibility. Unfortunately getting a romantic date is much harder than getting a hang-out.

No I don't have Aspergers.

I have a name for guys like you, but in the interest of seeming to be a cultured male I will refrain from calling you it.

 

[Kailex]

TLDR version: When I'm with a girl on the first or second hang-out, I don't make a move because I don't have the desire to do so.

Why I don't have that desire, may be an issue.

Hate to say it, but time to go see someone professional about this.
Your way of thinking goes against the very nature of man.

A man has one of two reactions when he sees a woman: Attracted or not Attracted.

If you see an "attractive" woman in front of you and you don't have the impulse within you to WANT to do something, then there is something inherently wrong with you.

It's not a question of whether it "may be an issue", it's THE issue. You're not sexual at ALL. You want to get to meet a person first and become friends and then eventually work into attraction... which leads me to a conclusion that something happened to you when you were younger that programmed you this way. And I don't mean physical abuse or emotional violence... I mean you either watched too many chic flicks or your mom raised you into a certain way of thinking or you grew up around too many females.

You are the embodiment of AFC thinking. You believe attraction can't be anything past: She's pretty.

You believe true attraction comes from stability of friendship first and I'm sorry, but that works when you meet a woman who is part their expiration date with a kid or two and is just trying to meet a "nice guy". That MIGHT be you one day, if you are lucky.

When I see a woman that I want to take out, my first instinct is to be sexual with her... not to get to know her better. On a first date, I'll try my best to come across sexually to her, to reveal certain intentions. Time spent trying to build attraction by getting to know them better is time wasted... it's time they spend losing attraction to you... which is why you always end up in the friendzone.

You believe that the women you typically would like: nerdy, antisocial women are the type that would embody what you want... a slow cooking friendship that will evolve into something more. But here is where you fail... they are not like you, even if they share your common interests. They might be nerdy, sweet, conservative, naive... but ALL women want a MAN in the end.

The only way you'd ever get a woman like you is to clone yourself and then give the clone a sex change. Other than that, YOU are impeding your chances with women. You are your own worst enemy. The women aren't the problem, it's YOU and it's the way you think.

You post endlessly, time and time again about your problems and then do nothing about it. Now you're trying to understand the male psyche and the reasons as to "WHY"... and here's the real problem... you shouldn't need to make this thread, the answer should be there already for you.

And that's why I say you need help. If you are asking a question to which the answer should already be genetically programmed within you, then something is wrong... terribly wrong.

 

[loveshogun]

When I see a girl, I ask myself two questions:

1) Would I bang her? The answer is usually yes.
2) Can I bang her? This is where we get to nitty gritty.

As for when I make a move, I do it if the answer to both question 1 and 2 is yes.

This is independent of how many dates, how many coffees, how many ____.

If I would and I can, I do.

 

[ArcBound]

Ask yourselves these questions

1) If you see a girl that is genuinely cute/sexy (not cause a friend or other people say so but because you feel so) do you want to **** her/do physical things?
if no, or it really does take you forever to want to **** her
2) Are you just keeping yourself from getting attracted to her because you feel she's out of her league or she wouldn't be interested in you?

A lot of people rationalize themselves as not being attracted to someone because that person is out of their league (whether or not that exists is another debate). So then they try to force a connection ie. getting to know them and then this connection becomes the basis for attraction. But as most of us know the "getting to know them" bit doesn't quite work with women so well. If you eventually want to be sexual with a woman you have to be sexual from the start then see if she is friendship compatible.

 

[Maxtro]

Great post Kailex

It gave me a lot to think about.

Ask yourselves these questions

1) If you see a girl that is genuinely cute/sexy (not cause a friend or other people say so but because you feel so) do you want to **** her/do physical things?
if no, or it really does take you forever to want to **** her

When I see woman who I think is hot, I don't right away think about having sex with her or doing other physical things.

It takes a while for those desires to appear.

2) Are you just keeping yourself from getting attracted to her because you feel she's out of her league or she wouldn't be interested in you?

Maybe. My default thought is that women are not interested in me. Though I'm not intentionally forcing myself to not do something.

When I was a kid till about 15, girls were very mean to me. I also have very little sexual experience so making moves, doesn't come naturally.

So I don't really know how or when to make moves and I'm afraid that she would become mean if I did try. The fact that I'm 5 times stronger than her or whatever doesn't matter, it's all psychological.

A lot of people rationalize themselves as not being attracted to someone because that person is out of their league (whether or not that exists is another debate). So then they try to force a connection ie. getting to know them and then this connection becomes the basis for attraction. But as most of us know the "getting to know them" bit doesn't quite work with women so well. If you eventually want to be sexual with a woman you have to be sexual from the start then see if she is friendship compatible.

Seems pretty accurate. Though in my case I expect a rejection and I believe that the only way to avoid getting instantly rejected is to let the girl get to know me and me to get to know her to see if I might actually have a chance.

Somehow I need to figure out how to force myself to become sexual. I'm going to give up porn and see if that helps.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I gotta ask, Maxtro....and I hate to ask you, because I think you like the attention....

if you've been coming to this site since 2004, posting nearly three thousand times, and are still having a total lack of acceptance of the theories and ideas preached here, then why come back?

Why spend 6 years here, asking the same questions repeatedly and not getting results? Seems like your time could be better spent elsewhere. I'm not personally kicking you out, or whatever, but it seems like you're repeatedly trying to walk through a wall. Like "Hey, I'm gonna walk through this wall. Ouch that hurt. Maybe it'll work if I try again tomorrow."