Guys I think I Just Got a DATE!!!

[HoneyHitter]

The only problem is she wouldn't give me HER number so I have no way of getting ahold of her in case I flake. LOL.

Her loss!!
I'm really proud of you for having the courage to call her!!
The first steps are always the hardest. Tease her and don't reveal too much details about you and your personal life.

I would recommend that you get to that dancing class earlier so you can talk to other women. No wait. What am I saying? YOU MUST go talk with the other women when you get there before she does. It will be MEGA social proof for you!

Now keep DJing and fix another dancing partner for the next weekend!!
It will make you more confident with this girl, and boost your self-esteem.
Way to go InvisibleMan!! You see? The only limitations you have to deal with are the ones living in your mind. Get rid of them.

 

[HoneyHitter]

And DON'T call her. (unless she's a retard)
I bet she's counting the days...

 

[Centaurion]

Lol, I'm still laughing at the suggestion of a HUG. I can't even imagine it. You meet someone and HUG them? I mean, even a light hug is still bizarre.

A verbal greeting is fine. However, I would recommend a peck on the cheek, because since you're not used to going out with women, you might chicken out of showing romantic interest during your date, and treat her more like a friend. At least if you give her a peck on the cheek before you start, you buy yourself some time, before she starts seeing your behavior more as friendish rather than loverish.

In Europe it is quite common to give a hug whenever you meet a chick you know.

 

[d9930380]

Don't contact her - it just makes it easier for her to say no if she's having doubts. If she flakes, very possible - then as you say just find another girl there. Infact you could use a girl flaked on you to get talking to another girl, it will give you a bit of sympathy and give you a chance to show the girl you're a man and can live with it by laughing it off. Showing weakness can sometimes be very effective as it allows you to show inner strenght by dealing with it without it really effecting you.

Hug or handshake. Hug is weird, handshake is for business meetings. I would just either say "hi" or if you have confidence then also lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek. What I mean by having confidence is - can you do this with out it seeming sleazy and forced, if you are unsure then don't.

As for the rest. I would pay, you did ask HER out afterall and you don't want to appear tight. However after that then you should go round for round.

If she flakes then forget her and move on - if she phones you then don't show any emotion, say she should have phoned and how she missed a good night but don't ask her out. She's probably just phoning out of guilt and by waiting for her to ask you out then that's the test you can do. Also if she asks you out then you can expect her to pay, and make her if she isn't going to. The person who asks the other person out should pay.

 

[lone star]

A simple hi should do. Pay on this first date to appear generous and let her know you consider this a date, not a simple friends meeting. Friends go dutch. Guys on a date pay. It's the rule.

If she forgets the date, forget about her or wait until you see her again when you go get your hair cut (go when needed, not earlier than that or she will see you are in a hurry). Then ask her what happened that she missed the date nicely and see what she say. She will appreciate the non-pressure interest and may offer to do something else to make up for the stand-up business. This way you will get what you want but she will be the one asking for it.

If she doesn`t try to make up for the thing, forget about her. Either she doesn't care or she is inconsiderate and rude. You don`t need women like that.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Don't listen to AFCs!

A simple hi should do. Pay on this first date to appear generous and let her know you consider this a date, not a simple friends meeting. Friends go dutch. Guys on a date pay. It's the rule.

Dude, don't put him on the NiceGuy route!

The only thing that will make her want to move out of the "friend" zone is attraction. Paying for her will NOT trigger attraction in her.:nono:

Wake up! She doesn't have to be on a date to know that he's attracted to her. In fact, she doesn't need to know that he's attracted to her at all. He invited her, that's enough. If she feels attracted to him, she will follow his lead. Period. Paying for her only shows that he needs to do that to "feel like a man", leading her to conclude that he is insecure about himself. Even if that's really not the case.

She will appreciate the non-pressure interest and may offer to do something else to make up for the stand-up business. This way you will get what you want but she will be the one asking for it.

You are right: she WILL pity you.
This means she doesn't consider you MAN ENOUGH to give her what SHE wants. Good sex, that is.

 

[d9930380]

If you invite someone out then I think you should pay - otherwise it appears tight.

I would ask a girl to pay if she asked me out.

Now I'm just talking about entry, after that for drinks then things should be equal.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Well, guess what guys. She didn't show up. No show, no call, no nothing.

I was the best looking guy in the club. I was dressed nice, had my hair nice and modern. I wore a tight thermal shirt that's tye-dyed and shows off my new muscles, wore some great looking modern distressed jeans. No one in there even looked close as good looking as me. No woman would dance with me. Every one was there with a guy and the girls that weren't were all like 50+. I ended up learning the "west Coast Swing" with some woman that looked like someone's mom. She was probably about 55. It was lame. I hate line dancing too.

Funny thing - as I was leaving the club, I looked across the parking lot - there's this place there for Laser tag type stuff called "Laser Quest." I looked at the sign in the dark and I thought it said "Loser Quest." LOL I got in my car and drove away. That's it.

I'm a big fan of Metallica and as I was driving home I listened to "I Disappear." The lyrics to that song represent my life:

"Hey, hey, hey
Ain't no mercy, ain't no mercy there for me,
Hey, hey, hey
Ain't no mercy, ain't no mercy there for me,
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer
Yeah, hey, hey, hey
Ain't no mercy, ain't no mercy there for me

Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disappear

Hey, hey, hey
And I went, and I went on down that road
Hey, hey, hey
And I went on, and I went on down that road
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm suffer
Hey, hey, hey
Yeah and went on, and I went on down that road"


Close this thread. I'm done.

Still and forever.....


- The Invisible Man

 

[KarmaSutra]

Don't let it kill your spirit

Brother, You can't let your progress sway just because some horsebanging cvnt blows you off. First, it was a b!tch test to see if you'd call her crying like a girl because she didn't show. Second, WHO GIVES A FLYING FVCK IF SHE DIDN'T SHOW!

Here's your plan:

You go back and get your haircut by said worthless dishrag b!tch and thank her for not showing up. You met a young, vivacious big breasted (be damned sure to emphasize the boobs) young thing which would have never happened had her company been attached to you. Then rub her nose in it a bit more by asking if she has any hot friends, young, hot friends. You're not into chicks her age anymore.

Your progress must be paramount in your life not your subjugation to a chick who works at fvcking SuperCuts.

 

[Tazman]

You figure the chick cutting your hair wants your business so she's going to make BS small talk and/or pretend like you have some kind of shot at hooking up with her.

I got this feeling from the responses she gave you when you attempted to ask her out. You see, you aren't as clueless as some people try and make you feel here. Your gut instinct told you she wasn't interested and that's precisely why she not only flaked, but didn't bother to call you to say she couldn't make it.

She said: "I think I can do that. I have some prior obligations earlier but I should be able to make it."

You see how one word can leave all kinds of openings for a flake? What she didn't mention was that if she couldn't make it she would let you know out of simple common courtesy.

I guess you get the picture, and I'm not trying to say you should give up on approaching women, but realize that a lot of what's preached here is to chase a woman without any indication she wants to be chased by you (because they have "***** shields" and "anti-slut" defenses) and use your "DJ skills" to make her want you. Some guys go for it and develop the attitude, and some guys don't.

You truly have to have a thick skin to be able to go out and pursue women this way, if you can develop that "non-caring" attitude you'd be much better off, but we all know it's easier said then done. Don't give up on it though man, it really isn't a big deal when you look at the larger picture.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Tazman, you say trust your intuition. My intiution tells me to NEVER approach women. That's why I have only approached 40 women in 20 years (not counting the last 2 months, and I've more than doubled my rejection count in the last 2 months). I'm almost at 100 straight rejections now. That is simply unacceptable.

And this IS a big deal to me Tazman. You know why it's a big deal? 'Cause I'm 36 years old and have gotten NOTHING BUT REJECTION my whole life. And I do take it personally. You know why? Because it happens to ME. Rejection may be a part of life for people, but for me it is the ONLY part of life. There is NOTHING BUT REJECTION for me. And I guess maybe it is no big deal in the larger scheme of things, because it's just one more brick in this giant sh!thouse of rejection around me. I have a Great Pyramid of Egypt of Rejection, I have built the Great Wall of China of Rejection brick by brick and step by step. And this is the final brick. The top of the pyramid. There ain't gonna be anymore rejection baby, 'cause this is it. There is no more sticking my head out after this. This beats all and is the straw that finally broke the camel's back. I am DONE. I am Finito. There will be no more going out. No more attempting to "talk" to women. No more looking for singles. No more sending funny messages to women on Myspace. No more pain. No more misery. No more crushed self esteem, and no more bullsh!t. I now realize why I have been a hermit for the last 6 years. Because I was fvcking smart enough back then to know I don't want to go through all this sh!t anymore. I have two emotions in my life. One is emptiness and the other is frustration (miserable, primal scream, raging fvcking frustration). I'll choose emptiness over this anyday, and emptiness means no more trying, 'cause trying just gets me in a rage.

It's easy for you guys who GET women to say don't let it bother you. You're not 36 and still dateless.

I'm done guys. I've been climbing this mountain since I was 16 and there is no end in sight. It will befuddle me to the end of my days. I can't take the pain anymore, it really hurts inside. It's an accumulation of pain and misery. I mean I don't know what is wrong with me, I just know I can't take it anymore.



- IM

 

[( . )( . )]

try a nice religious church girl (not a joke)

to do this, simply start going to church and become more religious

Thats ridiculous advice.

2 types of godbonkers, the ones who are born into it, would very rarely make it to mature age without being married from a young age.

The born agains who are usually nuttier and flakier than sh!t and have only "found god" to escape the cargo hold of baggage, and whilst in the fad are so extreme you need the patience of a saint to even interact with them.

Jumping out of the ocean into a gold fish bowl is not the answer this guy needs

Why are you posting in the mature forum anyway?

 

[KarmaSutra]

try a nice religious church girl (not a joke)

to do this, simply start going to church and become more religious

Fvcking infant. I wouldn't take this clowns advice if it were deep fried in chocolate sauce.

I agree with booblicious that the "born again-ers" seek religion to absolve themselves of the hedonistic lives they led. They're ashamed of what they've done (mostly in a sexual sense) and choose to preach about how wonderful it is to judge everyone else's lifestyles.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Tazman, you say trust your intuition. My intiution tells me to NEVER approach women. That's why I have only approached 40 women in 20 years (not counting the last 2 months, and I've more than doubled my rejection count in the last 2 months). I'm almost at 100 straight rejections now. That is simply unacceptable.

And this IS a big deal to me Tazman. You know why it's a big deal? 'Cause I'm 36 years old and have gotten NOTHING BUT REJECTION my whole life. And I do take it personally. You know why? Because it happens to ME. Rejection may be a part of life for people, but for me it is the ONLY part of life. There is NOTHING BUT REJECTION for me. And I guess maybe it is no big deal in the larger scheme of things, because it's just one more brick in this giant sh!thouse of rejection around me. I have a Great Pyramid of Egypt of Rejection, I have built the Great Wall of China of Rejection brick by brick and step by step. And this is the final brick. The top of the pyramid. There ain't gonna be anymore rejection baby, 'cause this is it. There is no more sticking my head out after this. This beats all and is the straw that finally broke the camel's back. I am DONE. I am Finito. There will be no more going out. No more attempting to "talk" to women. No more looking for singles. No more sending funny messages to women on Myspace. No more pain. No more misery. No more crushed self esteem, and no more bullsh!t. I now realize why I have been a hermit for the last 6 years. Because I was fvcking smart enough back then to know I don't want to go through all this sh!t anymore. I have two emotions in my life. One is emptiness and the other is frustration (miserable, primal scream, raging fvcking frustration). I'll choose emptiness over this anyday, and emptiness means no more trying, 'cause trying just gets me in a rage.

It's easy for you guys who GET women to say don't let it bother you. You're not 36 and still dateless.

I'm done guys. I've been climbing this mountain since I was 16 and there is no end in sight. It will befuddle me to the end of my days. I can't take the pain anymore, it really hurts inside. It's an accumulation of pain and misery. I mean I don't know what is wrong with me, I just know I can't take it anymore.



- IM

I know how you feel.

And I guess maybe it is no big deal in the larger scheme of things, because it's just one more brick in this giant sh!thouse of rejection around me. I have a Great Pyramid of Egypt of Rejection, I have built the Great Wall of China of Rejection brick by brick and step by step. And this is the final brick. The top of the pyramid.

Wow, nice metaphor.

Funny thing - as I was leaving the club, I looked across the parking lot - there's this place there for Laser tag type stuff called "Laser Quest." I looked at the sign in the dark and I thought it said "Loser Quest."

A perfect example of how NLP works!
You should have went for the lasergame and have some fun. Start doing what you like. Start acting like you're the only person on this planet!

Have you ever played videogames? Getting women is just game. The problem with niceguys is that they take this stuff too seriously which inevitably leads to emotional crises. Come on, you knew this was one of the possible outcomes. You're just getting on the right track, keep it up.

Find a wingman, it helped me overcome and I'm sure you will too.

Please, take a look at these videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DYn4-h3Cnk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_C4ELcauk4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39S_Z3R4KWg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFIlBT_T0d8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI3f4Z0ybis

I've more than doubled my rejection count in the last 2 months

You have to learn from mistakes. You will keep getting rejections until you feel confident with women. You have to become able to pinpoint what exactly went wrong, so you can improve it. Otherwise you'll just keep repeating yourself. A wingman will definitely be able to indicate what you need to work on. Getting chicks is an exact science. Women will claim otherwise, but that's just because they are not the ones who initiate things.

 

[realsmoothie]

Wow, I'd missed the part where she said "I SHOULD make it".

Any girl that's ever said that to me has NEVER shown up. NEVER. You didn't have a date, plain and simple.

So don't feel so bad, geez. If you're really that good looking it's gonna happen for you eventually. No question. I don't know what you're doing wrong but surely you'll figure it out.

 

[lone star]

Brother, You can't let your progress sway just because some horsebanging cvnt blows you off. First, it was a b!tch test to see if you'd call her crying like a girl because she didn't show. Second, WHO GIVES A FLYING FVCK IF SHE DIDN'T SHOW!

Here's your plan:

You go back and get your haircut by said worthless dishrag b!tch and thank her for not showing up. You met a young, vivacious big breasted (be damned sure to emphasize the boobs) young thing which would have never happened had her company been attached to you. Then rub her nose in it a bit more by asking if she has any hot friends, young, hot friends. You're not into chicks her age anymore.

Your progress must be paramount in your life not your subjugation to a chick who works at fvcking SuperCuts.

Rght on Kamasutra,haha.

 

[Nighthawk]

Don't quit, you've just started.

But I'd bin the tie-dyed t-shirts.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Don't quit, you've just started.

But I'd bin the tie-dyed t-shirts.

It's not tye-dyed like you think. It's olive green with cream swirls. I got it from a Buckle Store where they sell all kinds of cool fashionable stuff.

It doesn't matter anyway, dude. I started when I was 16. Now I'm done. This was the last straw.



- IM

 

[squirrels]

You put way too much pressure on yourself.

 

[Desdinova]

Invisibleman, I'm surprised that you're fvcking giving up on this. You get a slight taste of success, and just because this one cvnt decided to stand you up, you're going to give up. I've never seen a 36 year old man pout like a child because he didn't get his own way. You're never going to make it in life, not now, nor later if you let these disappointments get to you.

Let's see what would happen if you let rejection discourage you:

- You get turned down for a good job, so you quit looking for a job. You live off your parents until they die and then become homeless because finding a job "hurts too much".

- You get turned down for a loan for a car that you want, because you don't have a good enough credit rating (or a non-existant credit rating). You dedide to walk and take the bus with smelly old people because getting a loan "hurts too much".

- You get turned down for a mortgage on a house. So, you pay rent for the rest of your life, never having a place that it truly your own because trying to get a mortgage "hurts too much".

The guys who succeed are the guys who DON'T let rejection get to them. You can either work on getting that rejection to roll off your back and be successful, or you can just give up and watch everyone else experience success while you b1tch and moan about life until you die.

I know rejection sucks, especially when you don't have much experience that will prove that you can be successful. But this website is made up of lots of guys who were at one time or another in your shoes (including myself). If I let that rejection get the best of me, I would have ended up being a miserable sack of 5hit like many other guys out there. I didn't want to be a miserable sack of 5hit, I wanted to be happily successful, so I fvcking worked at that goal. Guess what? I achieved that, but it didn't come from magic or "good luck", it came from DOING THE WORK.

And I'm going to tell you something else - this hairdresser b1tch did you a favor by not showing up. She prevented you from wasting a 5hitload of time on her just to find out she's a flakey b1tch. She has lowered her own status in your eyes, and there's no fvcking way she'll make that up, because YOU are going to go out and find a woman who is more worthy of your time!

This is only the beginning, and if you want to taste ANY of the success that the people on this site experience, you're not going to give up. Once you get the ball rolling, it gets easier. You only moved that ball an inch. Don't let that inch discourage you, but encourage you to keep working! Not all women stand guys up, so why should the good women suffer from having a chance with a great guy like you just because this tw@t treats men like garbage?