Guys I think I Just Got a DATE!!!

[InvisibleMan]

Just when I was down in the dumps again.....

I called back that hairdresser who cut my hair that I was talking about in the end of the MY Story thread and I said "Ok Here's the deal: I'm taking these dance lessons at this local night club [where you learn stuff like the 2-step, 3-step, cha-cha, line dancing and all that] and I think YOU would make a perfect partner for me, and I want you to dance with me."

She giggled a little and said "ok, when?" I said "Sunday at 5."

She said: "I think I can do that. I have some prior obligations earlier but I should be able to make it."

I said: "So I'll pick you up."

She: "Well, I'm going to be in town for something else, so I'll just meet you there." She lives a little outside of town. So I thought about this for a sec and thought this might be legit.

I said: "Give me your phone number so I don't have to call you here [at the hair salon]"

She: "Well, you can just call me here if you need to...."

At this point I couldn't pull the trick I read about where you say: "I'll EXCHANGE #'s with you, 'cause she already HAS mine."

So anyway, I say "Cool, I'll see you Sunday at 5."

She says: "How do you like your haircut?"

I say: "I love it. All kinds of girls are giving me compliments on it." Even though they really aren't, but I said it to make her think other girls think I'm hot.

And that was it. I think I may actually have a date for Sunday!!!!! This girl is actual quite a hottie. She's a little short (maybe 5'2") but she has a really nice ass and she's pretty. I'm kind of excited, and I figure even if she doesn't show up, I'll try to dance with some other girls that don't have partners there.

Has the world come to an end or anything? I think hell just froze over. I think I may have a date, guys!!!!!!!



- Invisible Man

 

[ChrizZ]

Just when I was down in the dumps again.....

I called back that hairdresser who cut my hair that I was talking about in the end of the MY Story thread and I said "Ok Here's the deal: I'm taking these dance lessons at this local night club [where you learn stuff like the 2-step, 3-step, cha-cha, line dancing and all that] and I think YOU would make a perfect partner for me, and I want you to dance with me."

She giggled a little and said "ok, when?" I said "Sunday at 5."

She said: "I think I can do that. I have some prior obligations earlier but I should be able to make it."

I said: "So I'll pick you up."

She: "Well, I'm going to be in town for something else, so I'll just meet you there." She lives a little outside of town. So I thought about this for a sec and thought this might be legit.

I said: "Give me your phone number so I don't have to call you here [at the hair salon]"

She: "Well, you can just call me here if you need to...."

At this point I couldn't pull the trick I read about where you say: "I'll EXCHANGE #'s with you, 'cause she already HAS mine."

So anyway, I say "Cool, I'll see you Sunday at 5."

She says: "How do you like your haircut?"

I say: "I love it. All kinds of girls are giving me compliments on it."

And that was it. I think I may actually have a date for Sunday!!!!! I'm kind of excited, and I figure even if she doesn't show up, I'll try to dance with some other girls that don't have partners there.

Has the world come to an end or anything? I think hell just froze over. I think I may have a date, guys!!!!!!!



- Invisible Man

Good job!
Finally you got it!

 

[Desdinova]

Well executed!

I said "Ok Here's the deal: I'm taking these dance lessons at this local night club [where you learn stuff like the 2-step, 3-step, cha-cha, line dancing and all that] and I think YOU would make a perfect partner for me, and I want you to dance with me."

Excellent! You went for what you wanted, and you got it. That's how it's done! And if you don't get what you want, go for something else you want!

I said: "So I'll pick you up."

I'd change this when setting up a first date. Once you're past the first date, that's when you can offer rides. Women will sometimes see the ride offer as "needy" or even "creepy", and that's where the line "we're moving too fast" comes from. However, you didn't crash and burn from this mistake since she suggested meeting you.

Another point: if she has a vehicle, you can ask her to pick you up sometimes.

I say: "I love it. All kinds of girls are giving me compliments on it." Even though they really aren't, but I said it to make her think other girls think I'm hot.

Invisible social proof works almost as good as real social proof. Good stuff!

Now, just because you landed one date, there's no need to stop approaching other women. This one could flake on you or stand you up. The only time to close off your other options is if you get into a LTR.

Now, if you get rejected, it's no big deal because you already have a date set up, right?

Hope the date goes well, and give us a FR on what happened.

 

[Sinistar]

Way to man

Now, just because you landed one date, there's no need to stop approaching other women. This one could flake on you or stand you up. The only time to close off your other options is if you get into a LTR.
Now, if you get rejected, it's no big deal because you already have a date set up, right?

There's good advice here. Your confident right now so why not use the free time to experiment a bit and strike up convo's with other HB's throughout the week. That confidence will carry through and you might be surprised at how you carry yourself and how they react when they somehow 'sense' you are spinning a plate!

 

[d9930380]

You see. You where negative about that girl but she was playing it cool and waiting for you to make the move. Girls will do that to avoid being shot down - they don't force things along. That's your job.

Anyway - That's brilliant Invisisble. Try to get to know her as a friend first and try to be sexual towards the end whenever you think you have won her over first as a "friend". If you come on to strong before that then she will run for the hills.

Whatever though - try to enjoy it and don't get too caught up in pulling as she will want a fun guy she can hang with. I'm not saying get into the friendzone - just don't be sleazy.

Either way - except it won't go as YOU planned. You probably won't succeed but it will add to YOUR experience so don't worry if you crash and burn.

I'm hoping you don't though

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

AWESOME MAN!!

Good luck. Keep us posted

 

[Freddy1]

Smooth work InvisibleMan! Good luck with the date. Juts remember dont show disperation to her, she will sense that.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Ok guys, I need some advice for this upcoming date. I had 5 issues that I came up with that could be potential problems. Just thinking about these things before they happen so I can be prepared for contingencies. LOL

I think I can handle talking to her and all that stuff, but here were my other concerns:

1) Since this thing is like 4 days away, do I call her on Saturday or Friday and REMIND her about this or does that appear too controlling/needy?

2) How do you greet a woman who you are on a first date with? A handshake? A hug? What?

3) I'm meeting her at this club. Most likely I'll be on time but other people are always late for stuff - especially chicks. So do I just go inside and get a table and wait, or do I stand outside and wait, or do I wait in the lobby area? Or do I wait in my car until I see her come up and then get out?

4) If I wait in the lobby or outside for her, who should pay? Should I say "I'll do the cover charge if you buy the drinks," or vice-versa, or should I just plan on getting the whole tab? If I get there first then we'll both be paying our own cover charges so I guess I could buy drinks then, so maybe I should get there first and just wait inside at a table?

5) If she flakes out or stands me up do I call her next week and chew her out or do I just forget about the whole thing and move on?


- Invisible Man

 

[Desdinova]

1) Since this thing is like 4 days away, do I call her on Saturday or Friday and REMIND her about this or does that appear too controlling/needy?

No, don't remind her about the date. If you like, touch base with her just to see how she's doing. At the end of the call, tell her you'll see her on Sunday. However, this call isn't really necessary. She knows to be there, and how to reach you if she can't make it. Only call to confirm if she asks you to, otherwise you'll come off as insecure.

2) How do you greet a woman who you are on a first date with? A handshake? A hug? What?

With a simple "hello".

3) I'm meeting her at this club. Most likely I'll be on time but other people are always late for stuff - especially chicks. So do I just go inside and get a table and wait, or do I stand outside and wait, or do I wait in the lobby area? Or do I wait in my car until I see her come up and then get out?

You could always show up five minutes late so she can worry about it. That's something I used to do. However, if you show up first, just get yourself a drink, sit, and enjoy the moment. Better yet, make conversation with someone else who's there.

4) If I wait in the lobby or outside for her, who should pay? Should I say "I'll do the cover charge if you buy the drinks," or vice-versa, or should I just plan on getting the whole tab? If I get there first then we'll both be paying our own cover charges so I guess I could buy drinks then, so maybe I should get there first and just wait inside at a table?

Everyone pays for their own 5hit. If she's REALLY interested in you, she'll offer to buy you a drink. Accept it, and buy her one later.

5) If she flakes out or stands me up do I call her next week and chew her out or do I just forget about the whole thing and move on?

I usually take a "never stand me up" policy for myself, and will move on immediately. If she flakes, she'll call and apologize. That's when you give her one or two more chances, just in case her reason for flaking was valid.

If you want to escalate things a bit during the date, do a search on here for Kino. Kino is ESSENTIAL during the first meeting or the first date. It will help you get to the first kiss which should happen by the end of the second date (the earlier you get the first kiss, the better).

You may also want to do a search on ****y/funny (c/f) and make it a goal to work on that. If you're lacking time, don't cram c/f techniques, just work on Kino. C/F takes a bit of time to develop.

 

[realsmoothie]

Kino is ESSENTIAL during the first meeting or the first date. It will help you get to the first kiss which should happen by the end of the second date (the earlier you get the first kiss, the better).

I'm gonna second this... not because I'm an expert, but because I completely blew my shot at a great LTR worthy girl when I didn't kiss her early. Each time I saw her I got more and more nervous about it and it just got worse and worse.

And I made the kiss thing hard because I didn't kino early. Find any excuse you possibly can to touch her early... and I don't mean sexual touch, it can be twiggling a button on her jacket, poking her in the shoulder during a joke, picking a piece of fluff out of her hair. You just need her to get comfortable with the idea of touching you.

Good luck, man!

 

[Freddy1]

1) Since this thing is like 4 days away, do I call her on Saturday or Friday and REMIND her about this or does that appear too controlling/needy?

Me persoanlly would call her on Thurs t remind her. But dont stay on the phone too long (just a few seconds). Or even better if she has an answering machine.
Dont wait till the previous night to call her. It can come off as being disperate.

2) How do you greet a woman who you are on a first date with? A handshake? A hug? What?

A hand shake and a hug. A hug never hurts.

3) I'm meeting her at this club. Most likely I'll be on time but other people are always late for stuff - especially chicks. So do I just go inside and get a table and wait, or do I stand outside and wait, or do I wait in the lobby area? Or do I wait in my car until I see her come up and then get out?

If your in the club early try to look busy. Talk to the bar tender or someone you know. That way you dont look needy if she sees you.

4) If I wait in the lobby or outside for her, who should pay? Should I say "I'll do the cover charge if you buy the drinks," or vice-versa, or should I just plan on getting the whole tab? If I get there first then we'll both be paying our own cover charges so I guess I could buy drinks then, so maybe I should get there first and just wait inside at a table?

See if she offers to pay. Let her if she does. Just remember your THE PRIZE. So you want her to see you as that.
Although you can go with the "I pay for next time" line.

5) If she flakes out or stands me up do I call her next week and chew her out or do I just forget about the whole thing and move on?

Yeah you have to call her immediately or the following day. Let her know your angry. Dont let her get away with being disrespectful to you. Tell her she has to make it up to you. "Thats a flake! I wait until I see how you make it up to me."


Good luck Dude! All the best to you!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There's a lot to be said about a guy that's confident and has a plan and not just an idea. Good execution.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Me persoanlly would call her on Thurs t remind her. But dont stay on the phone too long (just a few seconds). Or even better if she has an answering machine.
Dont wait till the previous night to call her. It can come off as being disperate.


A hand shake and a hug. A hug never hurts.



If your in the club early try to look busy. Talk to the bar tender or someone you know. That way you dont look needy if she sees you.



See if she offers to pay. Let her if she does. Just remember your THE PRIZE. So you want her to see you as that.
Although you can go with the "I pay for next time" line.



Yeah you have to call her immediately or the following day. Let her know your angry. Dont let her get away with being disrespectful to you. Tell her she has to make it up to you. "Thats a flake! I wait until I see how you make it up to me."


Good luck Dude! All the best to you!

Two things I STRONGLY disagree with here are calling to "confirm" and letting her know your angry if she flakes. Personally I never think its a good idea to make plans with a girl so far in advance. The chances of her flaking increasing with each day unless her interest level is pretty high. Girls are forgetful, especially when they don't know the guy that well.

Secondly if she flakes, she flakes. You could wait a few days and then call and ask her what happened, but you should realize that her actions speak louder than her words. If you want to give her another shot if she flakes its your call, some girls flake just to play the game and increase the guy's interest level. But these are NOT the girls that you want to get involved with.


Keep us posted.




PIMP

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Two things I STRONGLY disagree with here are calling to "confirm" and letting her know your angry if she flakes. Personally I never think its a good idea to make plans with a girl so far in advance. The chances of her flaking increasing with each day unless her interest level is pretty high. Girls are forgetful, especially when they don't know the guy that well.

I'm with you on not calling again to confirm, us agreeing to meet on a certain date and time is the confirmation. However, I wouldn't deal with a woman who was so forgetful that she'd forget to come, you can only imagine whats (not) going on in her head.

 

[InvisibleMan]

I know it was a bit far ahead to plan something but with the Thanksgiving weekend and all it was the best I could do. And she does have MY number. The only problem is she wouldn't give me HER number so I have no way of getting ahold of her in case I flake. LOL. She probably won't be working anymore until after Sunday so I really have no way of calling her anyway.

I'm not too worried about her flaking or standing me up or whatever anyway, I'm just planning ahead. I figure it's a group dance lesson thing (line dancing and partners dancing) so even if she doesn't show, I'll ask some other women to dance and I'll still have fun.:woo:

This will be the first time I've been in a nightclub in about 7 or 8 years so I'll see how it goes.


- Invisible Man

 

[danielzxc]

Just make sure you ignore that advice about a "handshake and a hug". My God, I don't think I've ever read anything so freaking gay on here. Lol.

Also, if I were you, I would just pay. Not that it's something I recommend, but sheesh, for your first date EVER (which it is, right?), it's just one less thing to have to worry about, so for this date, yes pay.

(And did she really say "I have some prior obligations earlier"? Kinda sophisticated for a hairdresser. Maybe she was trying to impress ya! )

 

[InvisibleMan]

Just make sure you ignore that advice about a "handshake and a hug". My God, I don't think I've ever read anything so freaking gay on here. Lol.

Also, if I were you, I would just pay. Not that it's something I recommend, but sheesh, for your first date EVER (which it is, right?), it's just one less thing to have to worry about, so for this date, yes pay.

(And did she really say "I have some prior obligations earlier"? Kinda sophisticated for a hairdresser. Maybe she was trying to impress ya! )

So you're saying NO handshake or hug when I see her? It's just weird. A handshake is like for a business arrangement but a hug comes across as too touchy too soon. I don't know, probably just "hey what's up?"

And ya, she did really say: "Some prior obligations." Probably has another date. LOL. Or maybe she watches football, which could be cool. Ah what the hell, she probably won't show up, but that's ok 'cause I was planning on doing this anyway with or without someone.

It would be nice though. I mean she has a really NICE butt, and she's a cutie. :yes:


- Invisible Man

 

[danielzxc]

Lol, I'm still laughing at the suggestion of a HUG. I can't even imagine it. You meet someone and HUG them? I mean, even a light hug is still bizarre.

A verbal greeting is fine. However, I would recommend a peck on the cheek, because since you're not used to going out with women, you might chicken out of showing romantic interest during your date, and treat her more like a friend. At least if you give her a peck on the cheek before you start, you buy yourself some time, before she starts seeing your behavior more as friendish rather than loverish.

 

[Desdinova]

At least if you give her a peck on the cheek before you start, you buy yourself some time,

A "peck on the cheek" at the start of a first date will make the rest of the date awkward if he hasn't already kissed her (yes, a kiss can happen before a first date). He's best off with a verbal greeting, initiate kino, using kino throughout the date, and ending it off with a kiss on the lips. If he skips too many steps, he'll make things awkward between the two of them.

 

[Freddy1]

Thats what I was trying to get at with The Kino.
A number of these gurus advocate kino at the start (not excluding the verbal of course).

I've seen the hand shake hug combo (not seperate moves but one move) done several times again on those dating shows with positive results.
Watching hours (I do mean hours!) of those dating shows it seems guys who dont kino at the beginning quite often dont do so well with their date compare to those guys who kino.


A brief hug is simply a sign that your a friendly affectionate person. Your not trying to grope her or anything. Just a greeting. A brief hug doesnt mean that your in love with her and your spilling your guts or anything. Maybe its a North American thing? Maybe its my area? In the case of InvisibleMan he's not a complete stranger to her (I wouldnt do it to a complete stranger you just met in a fw minutes. rapport is key). If she gives you a big smile & open body language and says "Hey!" thats when I would give her a brief Hello/Greeting hug. If your not keen on report, timing & seeing her body language its probably better you dont do it InvisibleMan.



I've gone out with girls where I gave them a brief hug (I do mean brief!) and it worked out fine (at least from my personal experience). (with Timing & Raport of course.) I remember when I originally did it to a girl (I wasnt even thinking. smacks head) her eyes just lit up and the rest of the date ran smoothly. It broke the ice immediately.

I know in Quebec Canada they are really into the kiss on the cheek thing there. The rest of Canada no. But I think its maybe more of a cultural thing.