Guys, i have a major major problem....

DasaniWater

Banned
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
256
Reaction score
0
It has been lowering my self confidence when i talk to my Gf on the phone, which is weird, or even in person. I find myself being uninteresting to her, taking things too personally perhaps. For example, she ignores me and responds every 4 seconds or so, while shes chatting away to some other dude on AIM. i asked her what the deal is, she replys, "we have nothing to talk about" , or "you arent talking". IT really makes me go nuts...

Ive been dating my gf for about 8 months, ever since the 2nd month she often said "Talk to me", when I WAS TALKING TO HER, but apparently what i talk about isnt interesting.. she says i talk about weird things, which i find weird. I often annoy her on the phone when i ask her too many questions, it irritates her, when im only trying to talk to her about something. I need help seriously.

Well typically when me and my gf talk on the phone, it lasts for about 5-10 minutes, maybe 20 if im doing good and i actually start making her laugh about things and im being ****y etc. But i cant pull that off forever.

I just wish i could be a natural and haefv things flow smoothly, and havve us talking for an hour or so and not even know it.

I feel like im boring to her. because i know her ex bf and her would talk on the phone every night, for HOURS.

i mean my own gf who ive been dating for 8 months, i talk to on the phone and she gets off about 3 or 4 mionutes later saying , well we have nothing to talk about, or well, you arent really talking to me. Someone please help???

Well to let yopu know when i talk to her. I talk about her day, what she did, what shes doing now, i tell her about my day (which is boring as hell, and killing me ever more)..

Its not like shes actually being that great and interesting herself, like i gotta do all the work?

Can someone please help me out, and give me some advices how to hold a conversation. I often found her putting her friends or anything just minor instead of actually talking to me. I remember we went to the theater, and she asked this guy friend of hers to come along, and she was just talking to him the whole time!!!!

I'm really tired of it... can someone please help me out?

thanks a lot..
 

Socialreject

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
409
Reaction score
4
Like i said... it sounds like she has little or no respect for you... and you aren't demanding it either!

Her ex boyfriend talked to her on the phone every night for hours... wtf, did that guy even have a life of his own?!

That's crap, don't start doing that. If you even have time for that then you need to get a more interesting career/hobby's/social life.

There is not much to say. I think you forgot rule #1... be willing to walk away! If she gives you crap, bust her on it, walk out on her. to busy to talk cause she is talking to some other guy? To bad, you stop talking and do something more "fun" (for you), byebye honey, enjoy the tard on MSN!

Start talking to other women pronto! Maybe she will wake up when she realizes she shouldn't be taking you for granted cause you aren't!

Tone down the oneitis, turn up the game!
 

DasaniWater

Banned
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
256
Reaction score
0
hey guys

Hey thanks a lot for your help, anyways, i know i shouldnt of called her, but i did, our phone was off the hook and i thought she might of called me and she did.

Anyways, i called her, she picks up.

Her: Hello
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: Did you call me?
Her: yeah a long time ago
Me: Oh, sorry my phone was off the hook.
Her: Oh
Me: so what you been up 2??
her: Nothing playing,, i dunno some game
Me: Oh thats cool, is that ur sister in the background?
Her: yeah
Me: Sounds like shes havin a lot of fun
Her: Yeah
*she sounds like shes too busy playing her stupid video game*
Me: so what game you playing?
Her: Mario something
Me: you guys always play that game, dont u have anything else?
Her: Its the best game in the world
Me: laughs, oh really, i never played that game (i dnot play system games, only PC)
Me: Ill be there in 20 minutes
Her: What?? No
Me: WHY? your parents are gone
Her: you cant
*i already knew, she cant have guys over especially since her brother is there from new york*
Me: So whos winning?
..............
.............
............
Her: Ill call you later, bye
Me: All right, *click*


Yeah so bascailly thats it. obviously has no respect for me. thanks for pointing that out.

anyone know what i should do about this, next time she calls?? How i could of improved this convo? Was i too boring??

please help

thanks
 
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
1,064
Reaction score
5
Age
37
Location
The Cold North.
Dasani Water?

Thats a stupid name.

You are stupid.

Change the name.




Stupid.



Seriously though. Do you work for them or something?
 

DJ HOSSIX

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
74
Reaction score
0
Your letting your girl run things.

how bout you turn the tables around.

make it so that she looks like the one whose boring and has nothing to say.

you run **** and therefor if the convo starts to get quiet then juss say well i have an arrand i have to take care of and since your convo skills are less than a box of hair ill letcha go....Bye *click*

At first in her mind shell be like "fvck that a$shole...5 mins later its gonna be echoing in her head, am i really boring? oo shvt my convo skills suck !

Anyways you being pvssy whipped by your gf, toughen up and let her know whose the holder of the leash
 

Luscious

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2002
Messages
841
Reaction score
3
"I find myself being uninteresting to her, taking things too personally perhaps."

You don't have any confidence. You are seeing it as you having to WORK to keep her.

This should not be the case.

YOU ARE THE PRIZE. YOU ARE BRAD PITT. YOU ARE SEX. SHE NEEDS YOU MORE THAN YOU NEED HER. Repeat this 5 times in your head whenever you feel uninteresting or not up to snuff for her. Hit on other girls - harmlessly, of course - but we are all humans and any inequality is only fabricated in your head.
 

Socialreject

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
409
Reaction score
4
At the first sign you pick up on her not really paying attention to you, you should have said something along the lines of " Sounds like you are distracted, i'll call you back some other time". Now there is two ways she can respond... either she makes time to listen, in which case you say what you have to say and then hang up OR she says "ok" and then you hang up and don't call back for a LOOOOOONG time. With a long time i mean leave her alone for a week at least. In fact you shouldn't even call back until she does first.

All in all i am opposed to calling "just to talk". That's something women do! Call, say what you have to say and then hang up. You know that song that goes "i just called to say i love you"? Well, that song SUCKS, don't listen to it ;-). Unless you and your wife/LTR of several years are 2000 miles apart for weeks, there is no reason to call for something stupid like that.

It's all these tiny details that make you out to be the man in the relationship. It's all these tiny details that make her chase you, and work for your affection (instead of the other way around).

Don't call to invite yourself, unless it's REALLY casual. Say something like "i was thinking of coming over with a bottle of wine (dunno your age, but you sound a bit young for that) and just hang out". If she declines for whatever reason then to bad, hang up, give her some time to miss you!

You are being way to available and suplicating to her demands. You are coming off as needy and a bit insecure...

Lastly... don't get lazy! Too many guys get a "gf" and then think they are made and stop turning the wheels. The title "gf" doesn't mean crap all. You are still dating her, still courting her, still under constant review... so don't slip up on your game or get lazy cause you will get sacked!
 

Chosen1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 6, 2005
Messages
708
Reaction score
5
Location
South Bend
i thought dasani water was pretty cool i have and two aliases in real life one is bob blackton and another is muscles mcgee i have others but those are the mains anyways a good man by the name of gunwitch said that when technology and people get involvle it is usually not good first you should just relax plan things like a week a head and then make sure you and you're girl can meet don't chat on the internet it is gay take her somewhere where you usually go and play with her throw stuff at her or whatever you do to have fun also let her know that she wants you and you are a man i do that a lot i also crack a lot of jokes and get serious and crack more jokes(wait i don't have a girlfriend yet) but i also mention my little brother and how funny he is girls love kids
 

Tomatoes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2006
Messages
1,101
Reaction score
7
Age
39
Location
Nottingham
Dont call her......make her wonder......she has you eating out her hand. I would use a little bit of ignore tactics. Stop calling her and see how she reacts...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
 

donpepot

Don Juan
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
101
Reaction score
3
man im glad everything with your girl seem fine again...and thekhris and me monitored your last break up with her and im glad that you do that advice and were glad that everything is back to normal...

Ill give youo other secret man...

always remember this...when your day starts..always make it sure that she will be the one to call you first..... would be beleive that i only called my gf for about 3x a week she does all the calling man... when a girl calls you she misses you... and realising your slight value..always make her feel that way...
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,417
Reaction score
288
Location
UK
It may not be you that has a problem. It may just be that you're not mentally compatible.

I consider myself a very good conversationalist and great at building rapport, but I've been on dates where conversation is totally strained and awkward. It's just lack of mental chemistry.
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
Wow

DasaniWater said:
It has been lowering my self confidence when i talk to my Gf on the phone, which is weird, or even in person. I find myself being uninteresting to her, taking things too personally perhaps. For example, she ignores me and responds every 4 seconds or so, while shes chatting away to some other dude on AIM. i asked her what the deal is, she replys, "we have nothing to talk about" , or "you arent talking". IT really makes me go nuts...

Ive been dating my gf for about 8 months, ever since the 2nd month she often said "Talk to me", when I WAS TALKING TO HER, but apparently what i talk about isnt interesting.. she says i talk about weird things, which i find weird. I often annoy her on the phone when i ask her too many questions, it irritates her, when im only trying to talk to her about something. I need help seriously.

Well typically when me and my gf talk on the phone, it lasts for about 5-10 minutes, maybe 20 if im doing good and i actually start making her laugh about things and im being ****y etc. But i cant pull that off forever.

I just wish i could be a natural and haefv things flow smoothly, and havve us talking for an hour or so and not even know it.

I feel like im boring to her. because i know her ex bf and her would talk on the phone every night, for HOURS.

i mean my own gf who ive been dating for 8 months, i talk to on the phone and she gets off about 3 or 4 mionutes later saying , well we have nothing to talk about, or well, you arent really talking to me. Someone please help???

Well to let yopu know when i talk to her. I talk about her day, what she did, what shes doing now, i tell her about my day (which is boring as hell, and killing me ever more)..

Its not like shes actually being that great and interesting herself, like i gotta do all the work?

Can someone please help me out, and give me some advices how to hold a conversation. I often found her putting her friends or anything just minor instead of actually talking to me. I remember we went to the theater, and she asked this guy friend of hers to come along, and she was just talking to him the whole time!!!!

I'm really tired of it... can someone please help me out?

thanks a lot..


I am going to ignore for a second what everyone else has said and tell YOU what I think of all this:

1)how have u managed to stay with her for EIGHT months under these conditions?

2)when you 2 see each other, do you have sex with her alot?

3)She's being a brat by blaming you for not being interesting when it is CLEAR that you are the one that speaks in sentences and shes the one thats just like YES or NO (boring 1 word replies).

4)don't call her, and when she calls, pick up and tell her your out and tell her to call you tomorrow. If she doesnt call tomorrow, then wait for her to call, if she never calls, then u can move on.

5)CHEAT on this *****, hooking up with other girls will result in u not worrying if she'll call or not, and u will be happier and less stressed.

6)MOST IMPORTANT - if this is how she treats u on the phone, then she better be making it up to u by fvckin u every time u see each other, if thats not the case, then YOU need to LJBF HER and move on to a nicer girl.

Period
 
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
1,064
Reaction score
5
Age
37
Location
The Cold North.
Hey Dasani,

How you doing? You know its funny dude. Maybe you got girl problems cause of the following?

Here's the e-mail you sent me:

hey man
GO **** YOURSELF IN THE ASS U STUPID ****ING USELESS PEICE OF ****!!!!! MY NAME IS DASANI WATER BECAUSE I ****ING DRINK IT, ENOUGH FOR YOU FAGGOT??? STAY THE **** OUT OF MY THREADS *******. 900 POSTS OF USELESS ****. GET A LIFE ****. I DRINK A GALLON OF WATER A DAY, WHICH HAPPENDS TO BE DASANI WATER, IM A BODY BUILDER, ******* DONT GO BASHING PEOPLE FOR NO ****IN REASONS FOR THE **** OF IT HOW ABOUT YOU GO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE AND **** YOUR MOMS ***** I AM THROUGH WITH HER. *****

Yup.

Maybe you should think about that before starting 3 separate threads with the same story (that's right... I did do a search, cause I was looking for this one).

Its also nice how you use "your mom" as an insult. Very classy.

Food for thought.
 
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
1,064
Reaction score
5
Age
37
Location
The Cold North.
And about your girl.. just hang around her while she is with her guy friends.. assuming she has any. And just listen to their conversation so you get an idea. Also pay attention to her so you can gauge her moods about different topics with different guys.. that way you realize what she finds interesting, sad, boring... etc.

Then you take mental notes and apply what you learn.

It also helps to do the same with her friends... those that are similar in nature and interests so you get more ideas.
 

Kumar

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2005
Messages
99
Reaction score
0
hey man
GO **** YOURSELF IN THE ASS U STUPID ****ING USELESS PEICE OF ****!!!!! MY NAME IS DASANI WATER BECAUSE I ****ING DRINK IT, ENOUGH FOR YOU FAGGOT??? STAY THE **** OUT OF MY THREADS *******. 900 POSTS OF USELESS ****. GET A LIFE ****. I DRINK A GALLON OF WATER A DAY, WHICH HAPPENDS TO BE DASANI WATER, IM A BODY BUILDER, ******* DONT GO BASHING PEOPLE FOR NO ****IN REASONS FOR THE **** OF IT HOW ABOUT YOU GO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE AND **** YOUR MOMS ***** I AM THROUGH WITH HER. *****
Layoff the steroids...

Classic example case of personality disorder.

How many more of you are there?

K
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,628
Reaction score
178
Age
45
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
DasaniWater said:
I feel like im boring to her. because i know her ex bf and her would talk on the phone every night, for HOURS.
And look where it got HIM. :kick:

If you don't have anything to say, then don't call and just sit on the phone. Find something to do.

The purpose of having a girlfriend is not to resolve your self-esteem issues. If you feel you are boring her, then either 1) become more interesting, or 2) be more confident in your own behavior...even if that means finding some other girl to talk to.

And WTF is that Mario conversation...she rejected your offer to hang out with her, so you're going to sit on the phone and try to gab? "Oh God, she doesn't want to hang out with me...I need to stay around until I can make sure she still likes me...quick, DW...think of something to say..."
 

NSUballer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
459
Reaction score
7
Age
38
Location
New Orleans
Ok ive read all the posts on this thread and ive come to a conclusion:

1. You 2 are not right for each other bc ur personalities are different (i.e. she says u talk ab weird things)

2. From what BruceVanG said ya need to get off the roids bc apparently that was a "roid rage" incident.
 
Top