Guys, does this mean he didn’t enjoy our sex? Aggressively told me to slow down and now hes

Becky Dee

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Okay, so I’ve been hooking up with this guys or months (a FWB – we used to date/sleep together actually about 5 years ago) We were fooling around and doing everything but sex up until recently. My fwb tends to enjoy what I would consider slower sex. Over a month ago ago were in the lotus position. He tells me to slow down, I do (I’m not doing jack rabbit pow pow speed btw or anything like that), then he says, “ *my name* slow down” but kind of aggressively/sternly? It really threw me off bc I’ve never had anyone say or do that to em before. Okay, then we go for a 2nd round a few hours later. After we’ve finished he said, “I feel like I’m getting off and you’re not”. I said, “no, I am”.

The reason why I’m asking if the sex was bad for him because up until then things seemed fine. I was telling him the night before how I was craving pancakes and jokingly said that my doctor said I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t have them soon. He showed up that night and surprised me to make me pancakes. I guess he could tell I was feeling anxious (anxiety issues) be because he said he could “feel my energy” while trying to sleep, so in turn that threw his sleep off. I said, “no you couldn’t sleep because you were horny and you wanted yo put your **** in me”. He said, “woah, that was really vulgar for 8 am”.

Then he kissed my forehead before he left that morning and asked when I was coming back (I went to go visit my parents a few hours away). I told him Monday. I contacted him Thursday night seeing if he wanted to hang out and enjoy the weather before it got too cold. He said he was working that weekend. No reschedule, nothing.
He’s just been very distant the last month and we haven’t really talked. I asked him straight up why we haven’t hung out and he said things have just been hectic for him. Ppssh, yea okay.

Thanksgiving weekend he texted me at 5 am asking if I was back home, I said, “yea, I am what’s up?”. He responded back 3 days later with “oops”. What the heck was that? I just ignored the message. Then a few days ago I posted how I got a promotion and he was the first person to tell me congrats.

We clearly get along and I thought we were friends, or so I thought, so the only I can think of is he just didn’t enjoy having sex with me and now he’s just trying to do the slow fade?
 

King Lion

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Hmmm.....Sounds like he was enjoying it too much, but due to his over-sensitive nature and lack of solid dik control, he thought he was gonna bust his nut, so that's why he said to "slow down".
If he likes "slower sex" and confides in you that he feels only he 'is getting off' that's a big clue as to why he fux at a snail's pace and not in a way that would blow your back out. As time has passed he may be feeling he's sexually incompatible with you - So tell him to tear dat azz up and afterwards he can go as slow as he wants...Or you go slow for him in the first round and then afterwards tell him to knock your sh*t in the dirt and tear it up!
 

Becky Dee

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Hmmm.....Sounds like he was enjoying it too much, but due to his over-sensitive nature and lack of solid dik control, he thought he was gonna bust his nut, so that's why he said to "slow down".
If he likes "slower sex" and confides in you that he feels only he 'is getting off' that's a big clue as to why he fux at a snail's pace and not in a way that would blow your back out. As time has passed he may be feeling he's sexually incompatible with you - So tell him to tear dat azz up and afterwards he can go as slow as he wants...Or you go slow for him in the first round and then afterwards tell him to knock your sh*t in the dirt and tear it up!
haha thanks. that’s a good idea to tell him how I’d like it too.

So if the sex was good, we got along well enough for him to surprise me with something I like and forehead kisses then why the distance? I thought we were having fun.
 

King Lion

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haha thanks. that’s a good idea to tell him how I’d like it too.

So if the sex was good, we got along well enough for him to surprise me with something I like and forehead kisses then why the distance? I thought we were having fun.
Sure, tell him....It's always better to know - than to not know.

Don't worry about it - For now. Maybe he's just busy.
 

Becky Dee

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Sure, tell him....It's always better to know - than to not know.

Don't worry about it - For now. Maybe he's just busy.
busy for over a month? nah.


Back in September I went to a cookout with him and his friends. He was pretty drunk and was all over me. Hands around my waist, holding my hand m, etc. He turned to me and said, “why are you so awesome? You’re beautiful, smart, funny. I really like you. I don’t want casual”. I said that I liked him too. A few days later he was supposed to come by to fix something for me but had to cancel last minute. He apologized and asked for me not to be angry. I was pretty annoyed and got caught up with trying to fix the thing myself that I just didn’t respond to him. 2 weeks passed then he reappeared sending me stupid emojis. After that things just got weird.

So why say anything at all? It’s not like we’re bf and gf so he doesn’t have to say a word to me anymore, let alone congratulate me. After I didn’t respond he should’ve just not said a word and just keep it moving.
 

King Lion

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Each one - Teach one, baby girl....That's why you need a MAN, not a boyfriend...Tell him exactly as you stated it here!
 

bat soup

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Okay, so I’ve been hooking up with this guys or months (a FWB – we used to date/sleep together actually about 5 years ago) We were fooling around and doing everything but sex up until recently. My fwb tends to enjoy what I would consider slower sex. Over a month ago ago were in the lotus position. He tells me to slow down, I do (I’m not doing jack rabbit pow pow speed btw or anything like that), then he says, “ *my name* slow down” but kind of aggressively/sternly? It really threw me off bc I’ve never had anyone say or do that to em before. Okay, then we go for a 2nd round a few hours later. After we’ve finished he said, “I feel like I’m getting off and you’re not”. I said, “no, I am”.

The reason why I’m asking if the sex was bad for him because up until then things seemed fine. I was telling him the night before how I was craving pancakes and jokingly said that my doctor said I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t have them soon. He showed up that night and surprised me to make me pancakes. I guess he could tell I was feeling anxious (anxiety issues) be because he said he could “feel my energy” while trying to sleep, so in turn that threw his sleep off. I said, “no you couldn’t sleep because you were horny and you wanted yo put your **** in me”. He said, “woah, that was really vulgar for 8 am”.

Then he kissed my forehead before he left that morning and asked when I was coming back (I went to go visit my parents a few hours away). I told him Monday. I contacted him Thursday night seeing if he wanted to hang out and enjoy the weather before it got too cold. He said he was working that weekend. No reschedule, nothing.
He’s just been very distant the last month and we haven’t really talked. I asked him straight up why we haven’t hung out and he said things have just been hectic for him. Ppssh, yea okay.

Thanksgiving weekend he texted me at 5 am asking if I was back home, I said, “yea, I am what’s up?”. He responded back 3 days later with “oops”. What the heck was that? I just ignored the message. Then a few days ago I posted how I got a promotion and he was the first person to tell me congrats.

We clearly get along and I thought we were friends, or so I thought, so the only I can think of is he just didn’t enjoy having sex with me and now he’s just trying to do the slow fade?
You're going to have to come over and show me exactly what you did, so I can tell you where you went wrong.
 

RickTheToad

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Okay, so I’ve been hooking up with this guys or months (a FWB – we used to date/sleep together actually about 5 years ago) We were fooling around and doing everything but sex up until recently. My fwb tends to enjoy what I would consider slower sex. Over a month ago ago were in the lotus position. He tells me to slow down, I do (I’m not doing jack rabbit pow pow speed btw or anything like that), then he says, “ *my name* slow down” but kind of aggressively/sternly? It really threw me off bc I’ve never had anyone say or do that to em before. Okay, then we go for a 2nd round a few hours later. After we’ve finished he said, “I feel like I’m getting off and you’re not”. I said, “no, I am”.

The reason why I’m asking if the sex was bad for him because up until then things seemed fine. I was telling him the night before how I was craving pancakes and jokingly said that my doctor said I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t have them soon. He showed up that night and surprised me to make me pancakes. I guess he could tell I was feeling anxious (anxiety issues) be because he said he could “feel my energy” while trying to sleep, so in turn that threw his sleep off. I said, “no you couldn’t sleep because you were horny and you wanted yo put your **** in me”. He said, “woah, that was really vulgar for 8 am”.

Then he kissed my forehead before he left that morning and asked when I was coming back (I went to go visit my parents a few hours away). I told him Monday. I contacted him Thursday night seeing if he wanted to hang out and enjoy the weather before it got too cold. He said he was working that weekend. No reschedule, nothing.
He’s just been very distant the last month and we haven’t really talked. I asked him straight up why we haven’t hung out and he said things have just been hectic for him. Ppssh, yea okay.

Thanksgiving weekend he texted me at 5 am asking if I was back home, I said, “yea, I am what’s up?”. He responded back 3 days later with “oops”. What the heck was that? I just ignored the message. Then a few days ago I posted how I got a promotion and he was the first person to tell me congrats.

We clearly get along and I thought we were friends, or so I thought, so the only I can think of is he just didn’t enjoy having sex with me and now he’s just trying to do the slow fade?
Think you're overthinking it dudette.
 
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