Guys disrespecting your date...?

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

This actually happened to me when I was about 27. I took a date to a party, she was an HB9, and some drunk dude there started getting a little handsy with her, and she was protesting. I didn't hit him, but I took him down to the ground, put a hold on him, and made him assure me he would act appropriately before I let him up. You might have been proud of me, but I felt like an @ss, and I don't think it won me any points with the girl either. I think she thought it was brutish and disgusting. Back then I was quicker to violence, now that I'm older I probably would avoid it. Maybe step between them and say "whoa, hands off the merchandise" or something like that.

I agree, I would not have handled it like that now, but I would have when I was younger. I extremely rarely get into a fight because I keep my cool but I let them loose a some "fight mode" emotions so adrenaline is starting to flow but I still find the intelligent way out. I always maintain my composure, I always control my negative emotions and let them loose in a restrained manner. I really wish I had been able to train myself like this when I was 25 I wouldn't have lost lots of girls by getting into stupid brawls and turning the girls off. Now I know better.

Now, I would have distracted him verbally as you did with "hey dude, her friend is hot too and we'll be going out tomorrow night and she's a horny girl" or anything that has to do with free vag. I've learned that it's much more fun and productive to throw out a red herring when dealing with a drunk. They have a short attention span but even the drunkest drunk no matter how large will perk up his ears and stop what he's doing if there's any remote possibility he's getting some strange. (I borrowed a female tactic, hahahaha)

I keep thinking what if it's a guy like my buddy who is huge and ripped? Because that sounds like JUST the sort of thing he would do when he drinks. The thought of me attacking him seems laughable because there's little doubt he would crush me, it would be like me jumping Ray Lewis. I guess I could start chopping at the ankles and work my way up. Getting your @ss beat doesn't seem like it's going to prove to your girl that you're alpha.

I was vague it seems looking back because of the length of the thread and splits in the conversation.

I'm not trying to prove anything. Women have radar and ones that know you well it's 100x more precise. If you're without TRULY fear all the time and then later on once occasion later you are, THEY WILL NOTICE on an emotional level IN A VERY STRONG AND BAD WAY.

I'm not thinking "ok, I've got to impress this girl" in any way (see red part below). It's about my rule that I will not be treated second class or disrespectfully without making it very clear that it is not acceptable. Whether they stop or not in any situation is immaterial. The fact is that it's about me and my world. If that's not clear, women see me standing up for myself all of the time and me standing up when she is groped is completely congruent with that, so she feels secure even though it's about me protecting my own interests, not being impressive caveman-dude, that's insecurity and I've already got the girl, it's in my best interests to never show weakness or avoid standing up for myself.

But I agree you can't just let some guy maul your girlfriend. As Kenny Rodgers said "sometimes you have to fight when you're a man". The problem I have with your "demand an apology" approach is it almost ensures a fight. I would be most concerned about legal actions against me (as opposed to getting beat up) if I were to actually initiate the physical contact. It doesn't seem like a good idea.

I think we agree more than disagree for the most part. And I'll try to make it more clear and concise about how I feel:

HB, I'm not going to likely do anything, no investment, not risking my ass. My interests are not being disrespected, so I don't care, I'm self-centered, not a Hero and I don't pretend to be one.

GF or relative or really good female friend/Social Proof:
Man verbally says something stupid to her, joke it off with subtle "that was retarded" undercurrent, words neutralized and I stood up for myself.

Man gropes her, request apology, either he does or doesn't. If he doesn't and he's a ****, stay neutral, it can't escalate because the ball is back in my court. Fighting happens when people get emotional and bat that ball back and forth. I let it go at that point and I "win" because I stood up for myself instead of feeling *I wish I had done something, anything to stand up to that disrespect to myself*. I have default things that I do for ANY situation I may encounter, and only shift if some specific circumstances require it. It makes life much easier.

That's it. There's always a way to stand up for myself without causing an out of control escalating situation. Again, this is about me ALWAYS standing up for myself and my best interests. This is Alpha behavior, the fact that girls love it is just the side effect, not the real reason. If it was the real reason, it would be "beta wearing an Alpha mask" and girls will always find out the truth eventually through testing. Most of testing is related to that, revealing weaknesses in a man and then punishing them for trying to hide them earlier in the relationship.

SIDE NOTE ABOUT THAT: People too often biatch about testing, but it's the only way women can get to the truth about how much of a man a man really is or if he is just faking it. I welcome testing. I actually enjoy the weaving, dodging and parrying that raises her interest and then forces her to throw in the towel. It constantly makes me a better man "working out" with tests.

 

[everywomanshero]

We now have three pages of analysis for how to handle a hypothetical situation that as far as I can tell should require nearly zero thought.

1. Announce you're with the lady
2. Get between weird guy and girl if he's being touchy, move her to safety
3. Have management evict said weirdo

Somehow I don't think gernade launchers, bullet proof vests, CIA training, gas masks, or elaborate lines are going to be required to solve this problem, although it's certainly entertaining to imagine such a scenario. Part of being assertive is a willingness to let others know when they are out of line, and taking corrective action if they continue to do so without blowing a gasket.

At least in my area, when a guy bothers a lady, the guy ends up booted unless he's really well connected in that venue. Not long ago I saw a guy get booted because his ex-wife was in the club and she said (with no proof) that he had been harassing her. He even tried to claim he was there first, no cigar, doesn't matter, they still booted him just based on her word that he had been bothering her.