Guy groping my GF

[pipe007]

its really simple Atom Smasher

this is how I would successfully handle it...

LOOK DIRECTLY AT HER EYES while you say this with authority

"listen, you are grown girl, and find a solution for this situation now, because if it happens again, you might as well tell him to keep touching you from now on, because my girl is supposed to be better than that. I wont repeat myself"

PERIOD

and change the subject and mean it... if she tells you,
"what you gonna break up with me for this?
you: yes!, this is low class behavior what you are letting him do, and I dont need a girl who cant take care of herself"

so if she does it again, you dump her on the spot!! period!!!!!!!
damn am pissed, this is not about being jealous, its about your pride and showing this girl of yours what the boundaries are, and that she is stepping on you....

I would have probably make me beg for 2 weeks just for bringin up the subject for the second time....


got it?

 

[maqnetik]

shes either trying to pit you two against each other or shes HONESTLY seeking instructions on how to deal with the situation. either way you have to RISE to the OCCASION not let it DEFINE you. if she outgrows your game thats not her fault, its YOURS.

:trouble:

 

[Atom Smasher]

its really simple Atom Smasher

this is how I would successfully handle it...

LOOK DIRECTLY AT HER EYES while you say this with authority

"listen, you are grown girl, and find a solution for this situation now, because if it happens again, you might as well tell him to keep touching you from now on, because my girl is supposed to be better than that. I wont repeat myself"

PERIOD

and change the subject and mean it... if she tells you,
"what you gonna break up with me for this?
you: yes!, this is low class behavior what you are letting him do, and I dont need a girl who cant take care of herself"

so if she does it again, you dump her on the spot!! period!!!!!!!
damn am pissed, this is not about being jealous, its about your pride and showing this girl of yours what the boundaries are, and that she is stepping on you....

I would have probably make me beg for 2 weeks just for bringin up the subject for the second time....


got it?

I like it! +1.

 

[pipe007]

yea but listen to the lesson around this

a boy (afc), low status male: whines, cries, complains, seeks advice gets frustrated and desperate about his pathetic situation with his girl

a real man: takes action, takes no B.S behavior and get what he wants, demands what he wants, and if he doesnt, he finds something else of more value to want.\

we are talking about a serious relationship here I assume, a LTR... so the reactive/non reactive thing does not apply to this situation, she has already cross boundaries and is almost ready to be hard Nexted in my book.

 

[Falcon25]

She loves it. Her pusvy tingles everytime he touches her that way. This guy got game, love it. No woman would even talk to me this way. She would know that I would beat her ass and his on the spot and do the six months in jail. Gotta have that crazy look in your eyes. You're a sex machine. Your bitcvh is yours and no one can come around your property. Women love protective men. And if she doesn't like it, I will make sure she knows I just fuvked another girl an hour ago. And get rid of her. She loves the other guy. Good for her. She is with a boring guy. She wants some strange in her. He is groping her because she is giggly when he does it. Have you guys groped women a SECOND time when they didn't want it? Come on man.

 

[Darth]

I would laugh.

 

[scorpio1138]

You need an iron will, even if this bothers you deeply you have to act as if it doesn't, eventually you won't need to act anymore because you will generally find that it doesn't bother you.

That is EXACTLY how you tune out your jealousy generator inside. Unfortunately you will have to go through some real pain first.

It's very difficult at first, but I found after being burned by a few women right before my eyes, I'm now de-sensitized to such things....and even expect it coming eventually from every woman I go out with.

In a way it sucks because it seems less real (not naturally being yourself), most importantly though it spares you the indignity of looking like an AFC and you come out looking like someone who doesn't tolerate such behavior.

 

[Falcon25]

its really simple Atom Smasher

this is how I would successfully handle it...

LOOK DIRECTLY AT HER EYES while you say this with authority

"listen, you are grown girl, and find a solution for this situation now, because if it happens again, you might as well tell him to keep touching you from now on, because my girl is supposed to be better than that. I wont repeat myself"

PERIOD

and change the subject and mean it... if she tells you,
"what you gonna break up with me for this?
you: yes!, this is low class behavior what you are letting him do, and I dont need a girl who cant take care of herself"

so if she does it again, you dump her on the spot!! period!!!!!!!
damn am pissed, this is not about being jealous, its about your pride and showing this girl of yours what the boundaries are, and that she is stepping on you....

I would have probably make me beg for 2 weeks just for bringin up the subject for the second time....


got it?

One of the worst advice I have EVER read. NEVER VERBALIZE HOW YOU FEEL.

She will laugh at you and tell you "okay". She will laugh at your face if you say this. She likes the other guy. He makes her puvsy tingle. You can't break up with something that you are not together with. When situations like this arise, it's well over. She has already rid of you in some way. It's just not official. Guys actually think by giving ultimatums that a girl will "be afraid" to lose you. How about this???

Go **** another woman. Start acting like you are not interested in her. Make sure she knows you are ****ing other women. They love jealousy. Not ultimatums. Nothing rekindles romance like a man who can get other puvsy. Then, when you stop acting like a puvsy. Come back here and thank me. She knows she got those small wrinkly raisin balls of yours. It's time for a complete change of character. What have you got to lose? A woman who gets wet when another man touches her?

 

[scorpio1138]

Agreed Falcon.

Never EVER verbalize.

Thats handing over the Frame lock stock & barrel.

 

[pipe007]

well, yeah, what you are suggesting is a more active approach

which makes sense, like I said, if a girl did said that to me, I would not answer the phone for a good 2 weeks and make her beg me for a while.. just for bringing up the topic....

too much disrespect...

 

[slaog]

One of the worst advice I have EVER read. NEVER VERBALIZE HOW YOU FEEL.

She will laugh at you and tell you "okay". She will laugh at your face if you say this. She likes the other guy. He makes her puvsy tingle. You can't break up with something that you are not together with. When situations like this arise, it's well over. She has already rid of you in some way. It's just not official. Guys actually think by giving ultimatums that a girl will "be afraid" to lose you. How about this???

Go **** another woman. Start acting like you are not interested in her. Make sure she knows you are ****ing other women. They love jealousy. Not ultimatums. Nothing rekindles romance like a man who can get other puvsy. Then, when you stop acting like a puvsy. Come back here and thank me. She knows she got those small wrinkly raisin balls of yours. It's time for a complete change of character. What have you got to lose? A woman who gets wet when another man touches her?

There was nothing wrong with pipe007's advice. In fact it was good advice. He didn't verbalise his feelings he verbalised what actions he was going to take.

I also know for a fact that my GF has been looking through virtually all his photos on Facebook.

Shes into him so. It sounds like she likes the touching because you said she is able to tell people off but done nothing when she was touched by this guy. He then touched her boob and she still done nothing. Would she be the same if it was an old man doing it?


You have to (should have already) laid down some rules for the relationship. The fact that shes testing you at this stage means shes not sure about you.


If somebody touched my girlfriend there I'd go have a word with him. NOT because I was jealous but because he showed me and my GF a lack of respect. Theres a difference there and she'd respect you more if you stood up for yourself and not let somebody take the p!ss because thats what he is doing, making a fool of you.


Go with her to the dance class and see how she reacts. Also see how that guy reacts.

 

[bobbyblaze]

Here's what I'd do, act a little annoyed, because she is being annoying...

say, "So what do you want me to do? beat his ass or what?"

then see what she says, she'll probably be like, no no, and then you say "then why are you telling me? You want to make me jealous? WTF I don't tell you about all the girls I have tying to rub up on my ****, what, do you want to hear that ****?"

And see what she says to that!

 

[Thundernuts]

Just call her out, and tell her to handle it or else your gone, i would have just told her that i know she is trying to make me jealous and i would say that he can have her.

Just do something man ****

 

[f283000]

Major credit to Bukuwski he dissected the OP beautifully! The following quote is some great advice

You think it's great? Well, believe me - you're going to be thinking she's speaking lots of greatness than; because she will now continue to tell you right after it happens. Your mistake is thinking she's telling you to be honorable! She's not! She's doing it because her evolutionary detector is trying to figure out if you're a worthy mate.

I think this is all that it comes down to. She has now encountered another male who through his brave actions (aggressive kino) just might make him more of an alpha male and worthy mate in her eyes than YOU.

But you know who's fault it really is? YOURS!

When you have control of a woman's mind and she really respects you, and if she got touched by another guy she would slap him! Because in her mind she is yours and you're the alpha male.

If you don't have control of a woman's mind and she gets touched by another guy she will like it simple as that. Or in your case she will allow herself to be touched without putting up a fight, which really only shows that YOU are vulnerable in terms of still being her partner much longer. It shows she can be easily won by a worthy male with some decent game.

Women are sluts by nature. Nature dictates they will fluctuate to the alpha male of the tribe. In the ancient days men fought over women and the more aggressive man won the woman. In today's time the equivalent is game. Sorry to say this but it seems inevitable she will end up f**** him sooner or later if he keeps at it.

When I say women are sluts by nature I mean it in a way that they are very much like cats (one of the sluttiest creatures around). I don't know if you have had female cats but when a male cat shows up in the scene the female cats start acting weird and crazy, they look like if they're in a spell when they want to mate. Right now your gf is being put under a spell by this guy right before they mate. I don't know if there's anything you can do about it but to start gaming other women and showing you got options yourself.

 

[Ease]

We always divide into 2 parts when it comes to this topic.

I could never see myself actually playing into this obvious jealousy ploy.

You're going to confront the girl and 'lay down the law' because some guy flirted with her?

You better lock her up in a cage to prevent that from happening boys.

The moment you sense that she is losing interest in you and gaining interest in someone else, that is the time for action. Not bs like this.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

Yeah i would def deal with him too

I'm actually on the fence. I dont think you should be possesive of a woman, i mean if she wants someone else, its her life she should be able to chase happyness, but so should you. In reality this is a ****ty test, a situation where she looks like the victim but is happy to tell you about it so ur jealous. Here is how I would effectively handle both of them even though alot of people wont agree with me. I feel in this sense i am correct. I grew up in a place where ppl try you, if ppl see your weak they will walk all over you. Its not so differant from standing u to a bully, that you know you cant beat. Your not beefing over "her" your showing him he cant fondle your girl, take you lunch tray or stuff you in a locker. Now this guy will prolly pipe your girl but he should atleast believe there will be reprocussions for his disrespect.

heres what i would do young blood 1st pull his "g card" publically(see what his plums are like). I would catch him alone(not with your girl around) pull him aside and ask him "Son, you been fvckin wit my shawti?" he will most like be stunned and say "no". Next get right in his face look him in the eyes an say "Real talk Ack, find another dance partner, if i even hear you speakin wit her next time i see u ima rock you in ur fvckin mouth (when you threaten him, have one hand in a fist and the other pointing in his face, invade his personal space (be up in his face) make sure you spit in excess when you talk. challenge his manhood, he doesnt see you as a reality or a real person. he sees no penalty for his actions. Crack his world open and shake him up a bit. Please dont do this in school or at the dance class.

alot of ppl gave great advice on how to handle her, knowing she stalks his face book is intel, but if you say you know then u stalkin her. Keep it to yourself. I would say "an u just let some guy feel on you like that, i honestly surprised i though you respected yourself alot more than that, if ur with me you need to handle that guy an let him no you dont like it, if you dont!" then I would fall back, ignore her a lil see if she misses you. She will eventually probe and when you do, tell her "Idk i been feelin some type of way lately, i feel like you aint been 100% honest with me about things as of late." personally I dont think you will win in the long run, but atleast you can reciprocate the turmoil they cause in ur life. Join a sport and be productive, aquire social status meet new women, hit on a few of her girlfriends that may like you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

She has now encountered another male who through his brave actions (aggressive kino) just might make him more of an alpha male and worthy mate in her eyes than YOU.

Yes! And also more of a worthy mate in YOUR eyes! The way the OP speaks of him - shows he fears his competition. She can see this.

When you have control of a woman's mind and she really respects you, and if she got touched by another guy she would slap him! Because in her mind she is yours and you're the alpha male.

Listen to this OP: Women know how to make it clear to a man that he is not allowed to cross certain lines with her!!! This is 100%!!!! The fact that it's occurring actually isn't really the issue to me though; the fact she's telling this to you - IS!

If a woman is saying, "this guy is hitting on me and i can't figure out how to make him stop."... I would almost go as far as to say, this should be translated as: "This guy is hitting on me and i don't know how to stop my hormones from wanting him now!"

I don't know if there's anything you can do about it but to start gaming other women and showing you got options yourself.

Much better than trying to tell her how to stop his flirting! LOL! Women are very good humor sometimes. I'm trying to Imagine a woman who doesn't know how to stop a man from flirting with her, and what she might look like... :crackup:

We always divide into 2 parts when it comes to this topic.

I'm beginning to see this in a lot of threads too. I don't think it's always been like this. Fairly recently, there's been an influx of new people to this board who adamantly oppose the concept of sh!t tests (or they do believe in them but only consider silliness a sh!t test; and anything remotely serious to instead be "NEXT worthy" disrespect.)

You're going to confront the girl and 'lay down the law' because some guy flirted with her? You better lock her up in a cage to prevent that from happening boys.

I don't think it's any use Ease... There's actually guys on here who believe that a pure woman exist! A woman who isn't going to sh!t test; a woman who will find other men hitting on her disgusting; a woman who will never think of any kind of tabooish fantasies; overall, a perfect nunly woman to a lot of guys (sounds perfectly boring to me but ehhh...)

The problem is - a woman like that only exist in the perfect worlds they created in their heads.

"Son, you been fvckin wit my shawti?" he will most like be stunned and say "no". Next get right in his face look him in the eyes an say "Real talk Ack, find another dance partner, if i even hear you speakin wit her next time i see u ima rock you in ur fvckin mouth (when you threaten him, have one hand in a fist and the other pointing in his face, invade his personal space (be up in his face) make sure you spit in excess when you talk. challenge his manhood, he doesnt see you as a reality or a real person.

The problem with this (besides using mid-90's outdated "wu-tang" slang) - is:

1) What's going to happen when the guy has size and street clout on you??? No matter how tough you think you are - there's always someone more ready and more "bout it" (just going with the outdated slang theme) than you... NO woman is worth dieing over who doesn't have the same last name or blood as you!!!!!

2) The woman doesn't actually dislike the guy for touching her (no matter what she says). So you're not really protecting anyone except your self; specifically - your ego.

3) Your woman will then expect you to approach every man who hits on her like this. Let's say this dance guys, is a straight-a guy, good looking, good game, but also not very tough.... You will have no problem going at him, correct? Your tough talk, will probably work on him. And depending on what type of woman you have - she may respond well to you making another man shook! But, what happens when the guy who hits on her is the local drug dealer who has a whole club of affiliates with him? Are you really prepared to approach him with the same disrespect?

Here's the paradox of that - if you DO NOT approach him in the same way; and your woman already knows that's the way you approach guys who are hitting on her - GUESS WHAT? She will see that as weak.

 

[crashdietguy]

So bukowski_merit, what should I do? I laid down some boundaries early on in our relatationship: if she flirts "over the top", kisses, has sex, "hangs out" or go on a date with another guy, I'm gone. She has not crossed these boundaries. She is a sweet girl (yes I guess I'm naive) but I guess all girls/women fantasize about being sluts, the way you guys talk. I'm a believer in experience, but are really ALL women dirty sluts?

What should I do the next time she tells me something like this?

 

[Thundernuts]

So bukowski_merit, what should I do? I laid down some boundaries early on in our relatationship: if she flirts "over the top", kisses, has sex, "hangs out" or go on a date with another guy, I'm gone. She has not crossed these boundaries.

Look man, Just call her out on her crap, you need to not submit to the games that she is playing and think of yourself on a higher plane of dating. Just tell her straight up, " Well since you haven't told him to stop i guess you should start going out with him instead, cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna waste my time with a girl i can't trust."

Or something along these lines. Thing is she hasn't said anything that she doesn't like it and definately hasn't said that she told him to stop, you cannot let this crap stand, no woman is worth fighting over unless she is entirely devoted to you and has already told him to stop.

Remember you are the prize not her, you can move on easily but your giving this girl one hell of a chance by sticking with her. Just address the issue before she gets to many ideas into her head, any woman can be broken into cheating as long as the guy has enough time to work on her, the quicker you act the better off youll be.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

bukowski_merit-
Outdated? According to whom, the latest rick ross album? Listen I march to the beat of my own drum, I talk how I talk not what the latest trends say. I grew up phili-an that how ill keep it.

1st. WTF are u talking about “Street Clout”? Stick to the relevant topic, which is a reg HS teen asking advice/venting about his HS girl getting pressed by a guy in dance class?? Lol he said ole boy was in dance class and plays the guitar, doesnt sound like a real goon. I think the op is safe to stand up to the guy, i dont think the guy is strapped. No guns involved Malibu’s most wanted. Relax ur drawlin.

Ur getttin side tracked on a tangent and missed my entire point. its not about street clout or toughness, its standing up for your self. It has nothing to do with her or what she does or doesn’t like. The man doesn’t respect him, he just as likely to slap his lil sis ass, eat off his lunch tray ect. My point you don’t let ppl walk all over you in HS. OP modify the vocab as you like, pick an chose your battles but just get your pt across is what im saying.



2nd The 1st point you made about not fighting over anyone not blood was pointless because you later acknowledged that this wasn’t the case for the OP, since he would actually be fighting and protecting his pride.


3rd Granted you cant beat everyone but next Urkle (keeping with your imposed theme of outdated 90s media) and Screech will be slapping him around, taking his cookies. Your pseudo scenario of the drug dealer is just that, a stretch of your over hip-hopped reality, the actual scenario is; a guy from his girls dance class violated him. As we already established if she isn’t into a guy she will certainly know how to stop his behavior, so like I said before if she isn’t into the dealer then she will let him know. I doubt this dance class attending chick is running in these circles tho or would have interest in criminals. In general if you confront this guy then ok it maybe his fault, if its always happening then you should blame her. “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” Regardless if she’s entertaining offers from dope, dealin pusher men or from dance class attending prisses, the ship has sailed. We aint tryin to win the girl back, or impress her, we are doing damage control of the entire situation.