Guilt from cheating on LTR

[ultimate2526]

Make up some B.S. excuse and break up with her if you can't stand the guilt.

Or better yet give her the friend card. No need to make up a bs excuse. Just tell her you only see her as a friend.

If you will feel guilty for the remaining of the time you're with her due to this and telling her the truth is not a good idea (it is not) then just give her the friend card and break it off clean.

 

[Angelo]

It seems like a lot of people here are "players" rather than a Don Juan..

If you look at women as nothing but a thing to screw, then you yourself is nothing but a thing to screw.

If you want to screw around then don't be in a "relationship." You MESSED up. If you love her the way you say you love her, then can you really LIVE with the fact that you mistreated her and not say a word?

 

[Angelo]

Or if you do not have the heart to tell her what happened, then at least end the relationship on a good note.

 

[sstype]

It seems like a lot of people here are "players" rather than a Don Juan..

If you look at women as nothing but a thing to screw, then you yourself is nothing but a thing to screw.

If you want to screw around then don't be in a "relationship." You MESSED up. If you love her the way you say you love her, then can you really LIVE with the fact that you mistreated her and not say a word?

Cut the "you're not a true Don Juan" crap. Who the hell is Don Juan anyways? Captain America?

What's with all this feminine shaming and judgemental self-righteousness?

Did you confess to mommy and daddy every bad thing you did behind their backs? Did you confess all the times you purposefully skipped class to your teachers?

For God's sake, the OP didn't murder anyone here. Chill the f*ck out.

 

[Jaylan]

as ive said before, if the genders were reversed you guys would be damning the woman and be acting all bitter about her not being honest.

Meh do unto others as youd have them do to you.

Fvck the selfish crap

 

[ArcBound]

Cut the "you're not a true Don Juan" crap. Who the hell is Don Juan anyways? Captain America?

What's with all this feminine shaming and judgemental self-righteousness?

Did you confess to mommy and daddy every bad thing you did behind their backs? Did you confess all the times you purposefully skipped class to your teachers?

For God's sake, the OP didn't murder anyone here. Chill the f*ck out.

One this,

It seems like a lot of people here are "players" rather than a Don Juan..

What's your definition of both and why do you say being a Don Juan is better than a player?

If you look at women as nothing but a thing to screw, then you yourself is nothing but a thing to screw.

Who is looking at women as nothing but a thing to screw? The OP? Clearly not if you even read his first post. Otherwise he wouldn't be having this dilemma.

If you want to screw around then don't be in a "relationship." You MESSED up.

I guarantee if you took any guy in a relationship, sent him somewhere on vacation, where there are hot or decent women around and he was fvcking drunk and able to get women and his girlfriend would never know, no matter how in love he is with his woman he will motherfvcking cheat. You are right in that he did mess up but your argument of "If you want to screw around then don't be in a relationship" makes no sense.

If you love her the way you say you love her, then can you really LIVE with the fact that you mistreated her and not say a word?

Yawn more shaming.

.

 

[Angelo]

Cut the "you're not a true Don Juan" crap. Who the hell is Don Juan anyways? Captain America?

What's with all this feminine shaming and judgemental self-righteousness?

Did you confess to mommy and daddy every bad thing you did behind their backs? Did you confess all the times you purposefully skipped class to your teachers?

For God's sake, the OP didn't murder anyone here. Chill the f*ck out.

I tell my parents if the things I did were important and would have had an impact i.e. stealing a toy. Not petty things I could have solved myself. CHEATING is pretty serious. And I don't love or even liked my teachers, that's why I ditched, so why should I care? The OP "loves" his girl.

You mad? Yup, u mad lol.

 

[iqqi]

Female perspective:

Telling her is selfish.

Continuing to cheat on her is selfish.

Not telling her, living with your mistake and being wiser because of it, and dealing with it YOURSELF is the right thing to do here.

Telling her will not fix anything at all, it was a one time, first time mistake, and you should live with it yourself.

If you continue to have feelings and urges to cheat, and or you can't live with the guilt, then break up with her on a more anonymous, less rip her heart out kind of way. Like say that you care about her too much but you are too young and not in the right place right now for that kind of deep level of commitment.

By the way, I have never, ever cheated on any boyfriend of mine... because I have morals. Yes, morals. And principles. Amoral that, @sses.

I do know that sh!t happens. If I was in this exact same situation, I'd do what I wrote above. If my boyfriend was in this same situation, I'd THINK that I'd want him to tell me, but the truth is that I would never get over it, we'd drag the relationship out but I'd always be insecure and unhappy underneath. Or I'd throw and break sh!t, including the relationship. So don't tell her!

 

[sexysuave]

Lol

Shaming shaming lol angelo and jaylan, you guys should go to some female board and give them advice. You actually sound like a bunch of females.

" oh i tell my parents the important things bla bla, oh mom, I stoll lindy's barbie doll, can you please forgive me mom???" yes son, of course, you're not going to hell Angel-o" wtf????? :crackup:

Dude, you guys need to man up. Sadly, you guys are the type that your future gf's would eventually cheat on with some guy who is a little bit more alpha and manly. I hope it doesn't happen, but I remember a few rare guys that were always "by the book" and everything was by the moral code and they would NEVER have this, and NEVER have that, and they KNOW for a fact when they get with a girl it will be FOREVER, and they just ridiculed anyone that had problems in their relationships and how they should have KNOWN right away. and relationships have to be based on TRUST and you have to tell her everything, even when you have a crush on your co-worker, I mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, you just HAVE to tell her, I mean, it's based on trust!!! Later on these few guys that I knew were the type to find out their girl was being railed by some linebacker or bartender or something. Then their whole reality and sense of self was destroyed, and it was so pathetic because some of them still wanted to "make it work" with the girl. Fvcking dumbasses!! yea, yeah, you can talk it out and see why the transgression happened, what was missing.. lol Jesus man, it makes me mad just thinking about it. I hope you guys wake up on time and man up a bit. Quit sounding like a bunch of b**tches..

Ohhhh, I almost forgot. I have a small story that is kinda related to this. A few years back I was screwing around with some girl and one night after sex we were talking about a bunch of different subjects including dating, and honesty and this and that. She wanted to know about my partners and how many girls and this and that, and I just told her "thousands" playfully lol, she laughed but then eventually ended up tellign me about this "truth pact" she had with one of her ex boyfriends. This is after they got so serious that they had actual plans to get engaged and move in together in like 2 months or whatever. Well, she came up with this idea of a "truth pact" before they move in together, where they would tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how bad it was, and since it was in the past, the other person was not to judge them. Well, aparently they were tellign each other a few things, and this fvcking idiot tells her that one night a few months prior to this "truth pact" his ex girlfriend gave him a ride home in her car and since he was "so drunk" she took care of him and spent the night there to make sure that he was ok, but they "didn't have sex". Well guess what? This girl put up with it for about 3 weeks, but says that she was constantly paranoid and could not get this out of her mind and eventually broke up with the dude! He was CRUSHED! He begged for her to stay and kept telling her reasons why she shoudl not leave him (what a damn vagina!). He told her plenty of times "it is not fair that we agreed on a truth pact and to tell each other everythign before we move in together, it is not fair that you leave me because of that" rolleyes: what a moron) but she just could "not live thinking about that".

Let that story be a lesson for you young blood. And this girl did not even know for sure, since he told her they "didn't have sex" she just gave him a ride and "took care of him and made sure he was ok". And it was still terms for a break up. Now imagine what will happen if you told your ex you straight up fvcked another chick?? :crackup: LOL dude,,, you'd be fvcked!! and plus you would be ruining this girl for the next guy!! Trust me man, whatever you do, don't tell her. Don't listen to advice from these dudes saying aaaaahhhhh htelllll her the trusthhhhh the whole truthhhhh and nothing but the truthhhhhhhhh.. the truth is, she can't handle the truth!! LOL as corny as it sounds, that's the truth.. If this is a one time thing, she is truly better of not knowing. Even if you can't live with your self, as others have said, pull some sh*t that girls pull on guys, like tell her you only see her as a friend or somethign light like that. This way she will just think you're a jerk and move on. If you tell her you were humping some other coochie, she will be ruined man, and messed up for future guys as well!

Also, a few other posters have actually had real experience with this, and EACH ONE of them got dropped like a bad habit! lol

So man up and take this to the grave with you. Dont' listen to feminine males who wear make up and others with moral codes of Mother Teresa. We all know if mother teresa was a man he wouldn't get laid much or be successful with chicks, girlfriends, or wifes! Not in this day and age. :rockon:

 

[Angelo]

Shaming shaming lol angelo and jaylan, you guys should go to some female board and give them advice. You actually sound like a bunch of females.

" oh i tell my parents the important things bla bla, oh mom, I stoll lindy's barbie doll, can you please forgive me mom???" yes son, of course, you're not going to hell Angel-o" wtf????? :crackup:

Dude, you guys need to man up. Sadly, you guys are the type that your future gf's would eventually cheat on with some guy who is a little bit more alpha and manly. I hope it doesn't happen, but I remember a few rare guys that were always "by the book" and everything was by the moral code and they would NEVER have this, and NEVER have that, and they KNOW for a fact when they get with a girl it will be FOREVER, and they just ridiculed anyone that had problems in their relationships and how they should have KNOWN right away. and relationships have to be based on TRUST and you have to tell her everything, even when you have a crush on your co-worker, I mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, you just HAVE to tell her, I mean, it's based on trust!!! Later on these few guys that I knew were the type to find out their girl was being railed by some linebacker or bartender or something. Then their whole reality and sense of self was destroyed, and it was so pathetic because some of them still wanted to "make it work" with the girl. Fvcking dumbasses!! yea, yeah, you can talk it out and see why the transgression happened, what was missing.. lol Jesus man, it makes me mad just thinking about it. I hope you guys wake up on time and man up a bit. Quit sounding like a bunch of b**tches..

Ohhhh, I almost forgot. I have a small story that is kinda related to this. A few years back I was screwing around with some girl and one night after sex we were talking about a bunch of different subjects including dating, and honesty and this and that. She wanted to know about my partners and how many girls and this and that, and I just told her "thousands" playfully lol, she laughed but then eventually ended up tellign me about this "truth pact" she had with one of her ex boyfriends. This is after they got so serious that they had actual plans to get engaged and move in together in like 2 months or whatever. Well, she came up with this idea of a "truth pact" before they move in together, where they would tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how bad it was, and since it was in the past, the other person was not to judge them. Well, aparently they were tellign each other a few things, and this fvcking idiot tells her that one night a few months prior to this "truth pact" his ex girlfriend gave him a ride home in her car and since he was "so drunk" she took care of him and spent the night there to make sure that he was ok, but they "didn't have sex". Well guess what? This girl put up with it for about 3 weeks, but says that she was constantly paranoid and could not get this out of her mind and eventually broke up with the dude! He was CRUSHED! He begged for her to stay and kept telling her reasons why she shoudl not leave him (what a damn vagina!). He told her plenty of times "it is not fair that we agreed on a truth pact and to tell each other everythign before we move in together, it is not fair that you leave me because of that" rolleyes: what a moron) but she just could "not live thinking about that".

Let that story be a lesson for you young blood. And this girl did not even know for sure, since he told her they "didn't have sex" she just gave him a ride and "took care of him and made sure he was ok". And it was still terms for a break up. Now imagine what will happen if you told your ex you straight up fvcked another chick?? :crackup: LOL dude,,, you'd be fvcked!! and plus you would be ruining this girl for the next guy!! Trust me man, whatever you do, don't tell her. Don't listen to advice from these dudes saying aaaaahhhhh htelllll her the trusthhhhh the whole truthhhhh and nothing but the truthhhhhhhhh.. the truth is, she can't handle the truth!! LOL as corny as it sounds, that's the truth.. If this is a one time thing, she is truly better of not knowing. Even if you can't live with your self, as others have said, pull some sh*t that girls pull on guys, like tell her you only see her as a friend or somethign light like that. This way she will just think you're a jerk and move on. If you tell her you were humping some other coochie, she will be ruined man, and messed up for future guys as well!

Also, a few other posters have actually had real experience with this, and EACH ONE of them got dropped like a bad habit! lol

So man up and take this to the grave with you. Dont' listen to feminine males who wear make up and others with moral codes of Mother Teresa. We all know if mother teresa was a man he wouldn't get laid much or be successful with chicks, girlfriends, or wifes! Not in this day and age. :rockon:

I didn't even read the whole thing.

I am happy with my life. You might insult me and say I give feminine advice and I am not "alpha" lol, but that's your view. I am willing to bet I have a more fulfilling life than you do.

I am pursuing my engineering degree, I train Boxing and Brazilian Jiu jitsu and compete regularly, I have a nice build because I hit the gym to lift weights regularly, I have an amazing part-time job. To top it all off I am seeing 3 girls at the moment.

You honestly think I am not "alpha" based on the advice I gave? LOL. Yeah, okay, buddy.

 

[Sh0t]

Put me in the "older guy crew that says DO NOT tell her".

To be honest, I think all the advice to tell her is really just deviousness. People want the OP to tell his girl, so she breaks up with him. They want to get off on his pain when she breaks up with him.

She's 20, presumably attractive, and if he/they is in Boston, she will have NO SHORTAGE of men ready already wanting her.

In 10 years, when they are married with kids, they can go over "secrets" they had during their college years. Now is not the time.

Is it selfish to keep her in the dark about this? YES. But it IS the right play.

I'm sorry to hear you other guys were cheated on, but that's a whole different issue because why men cheat and why women cheat are totally different in most cases.

OP, if you tell her, you will regret it. Honesty gets bonus points, but not if you are being honest about your own transgressions. People love to talk about how honest they are AFTER THE FACT of doing something bad. Where were all those morals before you cheated? exactly.

One lesson all men most learn is to shut your mouth. Few things are more depressing than a man who talks TOO MUCH. If you want to practice being a better man, practice NOT doing bad things in the first place.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Sh0t, you are right on-point.

A woman can never let anything go and she will resent it to her grave if you tell her. It will manifest in other ways and it will make her MUCH more prone to cheat on you someday. She will rationalize it when the situation is right and all the ingredients are there for a cheating opportunity. A woman needs to be MANAGED (because her emotions are out of control) and keeping one's mouth shut is where that management starts.

Having said that, if you do it again (and something tells me you have it in you to do it again), you should let her go. I only advocate keeping silent about 1 mistake only. Once is a stupid judgment call. Twice is a pattern of hurting another human being.

Right now, the only thing telling her will do is to relieve some of your own feelings of guilt and destroy your relationship, or at least set the stage for future misery.

 

[Sofomore]

Shaming shaming lol angelo and jaylan, you guys should go to some female board and give them advice. You actually sound like a bunch of females.

" oh i tell my parents the important things bla bla, oh mom, I stoll lindy's barbie doll, can you please forgive me mom???" yes son, of course, you're not going to hell Angel-o" wtf????? :crackup:

Dude, you guys need to man up. Sadly, you guys are the type that your future gf's would eventually cheat on with some guy who is a little bit more alpha and manly. I hope it doesn't happen, but I remember a few rare guys that were always "by the book" and everything was by the moral code and they would NEVER have this, and NEVER have that, and they KNOW for a fact when they get with a girl it will be FOREVER, and they just ridiculed anyone that had problems in their relationships and how they should have KNOWN right away. and relationships have to be based on TRUST and you have to tell her everything, even when you have a crush on your co-worker, I mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, you just HAVE to tell her, I mean, it's based on trust!!! Later on these few guys that I knew were the type to find out their girl was being railed by some linebacker or bartender or something. Then their whole reality and sense of self was destroyed, and it was so pathetic because some of them still wanted to "make it work" with the girl. Fvcking dumbasses!! yea, yeah, you can talk it out and see why the transgression happened, what was missing.. lol Jesus man, it makes me mad just thinking about it. I hope you guys wake up on time and man up a bit. Quit sounding like a bunch of b**tches..

Ohhhh, I almost forgot. I have a small story that is kinda related to this. A few years back I was screwing around with some girl and one night after sex we were talking about a bunch of different subjects including dating, and honesty and this and that. She wanted to know about my partners and how many girls and this and that, and I just told her "thousands" playfully lol, she laughed but then eventually ended up tellign me about this "truth pact" she had with one of her ex boyfriends. This is after they got so serious that they had actual plans to get engaged and move in together in like 2 months or whatever. Well, she came up with this idea of a "truth pact" before they move in together, where they would tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how bad it was, and since it was in the past, the other person was not to judge them. Well, aparently they were tellign each other a few things, and this fvcking idiot tells her that one night a few months prior to this "truth pact" his ex girlfriend gave him a ride home in her car and since he was "so drunk" she took care of him and spent the night there to make sure that he was ok, but they "didn't have sex". Well guess what? This girl put up with it for about 3 weeks, but says that she was constantly paranoid and could not get this out of her mind and eventually broke up with the dude! He was CRUSHED! He begged for her to stay and kept telling her reasons why she shoudl not leave him (what a damn vagina!). He told her plenty of times "it is not fair that we agreed on a truth pact and to tell each other everythign before we move in together, it is not fair that you leave me because of that" rolleyes: what a moron) but she just could "not live thinking about that".

Let that story be a lesson for you young blood. And this girl did not even know for sure, since he told her they "didn't have sex" she just gave him a ride and "took care of him and made sure he was ok". And it was still terms for a break up. Now imagine what will happen if you told your ex you straight up fvcked another chick?? :crackup: LOL dude,,, you'd be fvcked!! and plus you would be ruining this girl for the next guy!! Trust me man, whatever you do, don't tell her. Don't listen to advice from these dudes saying aaaaahhhhh htelllll her the trusthhhhh the whole truthhhhh and nothing but the truthhhhhhhhh.. the truth is, she can't handle the truth!! LOL as corny as it sounds, that's the truth.. If this is a one time thing, she is truly better of not knowing. Even if you can't live with your self, as others have said, pull some sh*t that girls pull on guys, like tell her you only see her as a friend or somethign light like that. This way she will just think you're a jerk and move on. If you tell her you were humping some other coochie, she will be ruined man, and messed up for future guys as well!

Also, a few other posters have actually had real experience with this, and EACH ONE of them got dropped like a bad habit! lol

So man up and take this to the grave with you. Dont' listen to feminine males who wear make up and others with moral codes of Mother Teresa. We all know if mother teresa was a man he wouldn't get laid much or be successful with chicks, girlfriends, or wifes! Not in this day and age. :rockon:

Thanks for all your input. As the days go on I am thinking about it less and less and have realized that I should keep my mouth shut and move on. If I start to have more urges I will do the right thing and end the relationship.

I learned a lot from this and am glad to have all of your input. Thanks to everyone.

 

[Jaylan]

Shaming shaming lol angelo and jaylan, you guys should go to some female board and give them advice. You actually sound like a bunch of females.

Yeah because its feminine to treat others in the respectful manner you want to be treated in *rolls eyes*

" oh i tell my parents the important things bla bla, oh mom, I stoll lindy's barbie doll, can you please forgive me mom???" yes son, of course, you're not going to hell Angel-o" wtf????? :crackup:

Dude, you guys need to man up. Sadly, you guys are the type that your future gf's would eventually cheat on with some guy who is a little bit more alpha and manly.

WHAT? wow you are grabbing for straws here. Just because I believe in honesty does not mean I am not a good judge of character. I read people very well and am not dumb enough to jump into relationships wih girls who would screw around on me. NO, everyone does not cheat.

I hope it doesn't happen, but I remember a few rare guys that were always "by the book" and everything was by the moral code and they would NEVER have this, and NEVER have that, and they KNOW for a fact when they get with a girl it will be FOREVER, and they just ridiculed anyone that had problems in their relationships and how they should have KNOWN right away. and relationships have to be based on TRUST and you have to tell her everything, even when you have a crush on your co-worker, I mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, you just HAVE to tell her, I mean, it's based on trust!!! Later on these few guys that I knew were the type to find out their girl was being railed by some linebacker or bartender or something. Then their whole reality and sense of self was destroyed, and it was so pathetic because some of them still wanted to "make it work" with the girl. Fvcking dumbasses!! yea, yeah, you can talk it out and see why the transgression happened, what was missing.. lol Jesus man, it makes me mad just thinking about it. I hope you guys wake up on time and man up a bit. Quit sounding like a bunch of b**tches..

Quality men date quality girls, and thats how you prevent dumb crap from happening. Excuse me for expecting respect from people. Guess I am not alpha for that *rolls eyes again*

Ohhhh, I almost forgot. I have a small story that is kinda related to this. A few years back I was screwing around with some girl and one night after sex we were talking about a bunch of different subjects including dating, and honesty and this and that. She wanted to know about my partners and how many girls and this and that, and I just told her "thousands" playfully lol, she laughed but then eventually ended up tellign me about this "truth pact" she had with one of her ex boyfriends. This is after they got so serious that they had actual plans to get engaged and move in together in like 2 months or whatever. Well, she came up with this idea of a "truth pact" before they move in together, where they would tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth, no matter how bad it was, and since it was in the past, the other person was not to judge them. Well, aparently they were tellign each other a few things, and this fvcking idiot tells her that one night a few months prior to this "truth pact" his ex girlfriend gave him a ride home in her car and since he was "so drunk" she took care of him and spent the night there to make sure that he was ok, but they "didn't have sex". Well guess what? This girl put up with it for about 3 weeks, but says that she was constantly paranoid and could not get this out of her mind and eventually broke up with the dude! He was CRUSHED! He begged for her to stay and kept telling her reasons why she shoudl not leave him (what a damn vagina!). He told her plenty of times "it is not fair that we agreed on a truth pact and to tell each other everythign before we move in together, it is not fair that you leave me because of that" rolleyes: what a moron) but she just could "not live thinking about that".

Wait wait. So one story about an insecure girl means we should always lie to our girlfriends about serious things like cheating?...riiiiight *rolls eyes yet another time*

Let that story be a lesson for you young blood.

Dude, my being 24 and your being 30 means nothing in this convo. Ive dealt with enough people and relationships to know what I expect of myself and from other people. If I can respect those I have friendships and romances with, then they should be able to as well. If not, then adios to them.

And this girl did not even know for sure, since he told her they "didn't have sex" she just gave him a ride and "took care of him and made sure he was ok". And it was still terms for a break up. Now imagine what will happen if you told your ex you straight up fvcked another chick?? :crackup: LOL dude,,, you'd be fvcked!! and plus you would be ruining this girl for the next guy!! Trust me man, whatever you do, don't tell her. Don't listen to advice from these dudes saying aaaaahhhhh htelllll her the trusthhhhh the whole truthhhhh and nothing but the truthhhhhhhhh.. the truth is, she can't handle the truth!! LOL as corny as it sounds, that's the truth.. If this is a one time thing, she is truly better of not knowing. Even if you can't live with your self, as others have said, pull some sh*t that girls pull on guys, like tell her you only see her as a friend or somethign light like that. This way she will just think you're a jerk and move on. If you tell her you were humping some other coochie, she will be ruined man, and messed up for future guys as well!

Hes already a jerk because of his betrayal. Stop being ****ing selfish

Also, a few other posters have actually had real experience with this, and EACH ONE of them got dropped like a bad habit! lol

If they get dumped, they learn from the ordeal and find someone they truly love and belong with. Someone they wont betray. Id love all the guys here saying not to tell the truth, to be able to also say they'd be fine if their lovers lied to them about cheating "to protect their feelings" Its only about the cheaters feelings really.

Yet again, selfishness. Which does NOT belong in a loving relationship. let your partner make fulling informed decisions. When someone finds out about cheating I never hear them say " I would of rather not be told and we stay together" you know why? cus the relationship is a sham and a lie.

So man up and take this to the grave with you. Dont' listen to feminine males who wear make up and others with moral codes of Mother Teresa. We all know if mother teresa was a man he wouldn't get laid much or be successful with chicks, girlfriends, or wifes! Not in this day and age. :rockon:

Lmao, so its feminine to care about how your girlfriend would feel about being lied to. Its feminine to treat others with the same respect you want from them? Give me a fvcking break dude. Dude my morals tell me I do not cheat, nor do I let someone cheat with me, and guess what? I still get play without issue. And this is a guy who wears skinny jeans and piercings...bet thats "feminine" huh.

Closeminded idiots like you on this site try to label anything they dont agree with as feminine. Hell tights and high heels were made for and worn by men back in the middle ages. Nobility also wore girdles. Times change bro, and not everyone follows the same thing. Appearances arent what truly defines someone. Its their frame and character.

*yawn*

bolded

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'd THINK that I'd want him to tell me, but the truth is that I would never get over it, we'd drag the relationship out but I'd always be insecure and unhappy underneath. Or I'd throw and break sh!t, including the relationship. So don't tell her!

:yes:

 

[sexysuave]

Thanks for all your input. As the days go on I am thinking about it less and less and have realized that I should keep my mouth shut and move on. If I start to have more urges I will do the right thing and end the relationship.

I learned a lot from this and am glad to have all of your input. Thanks to everyone.

Not a problem buddy. You came to the right conclusion. Now treat that girl of yours good!

As for Jaylan and Angelo, lol, this is getting a little silly for me. It's like you guys are not even considering anything others here have said and their reasons. Here, did you not read this female perspective:

Female perspective:

Telling her is selfish.

Continuing to cheat on her is selfish.

Not telling her, living with your mistake and being wiser because of it, and dealing with it YOURSELF is the right thing to do here.

Telling her will not fix anything at all, it was a one time, first time mistake, and you should live with it yourself.
If you continue to have feelings and urges to cheat, and or you can't live with the guilt, then break up with her on a more anonymous, less rip her heart out kind of way. Like say that you care about her too much but you are too young and not in the right place right now for that kind of deep level of commitment.

By the way, I have never, ever cheated on any boyfriend of mine... because I have morals. Yes, morals. And principles. Amoral that, @sses.

I do know that sh!t happens. If I was in this exact same situation, I'd do what I wrote above. If my boyfriend was in this same situation, I'd THINK that I'd want him to tell me, but the truth is that I would never get over it, we'd drag the relationship out but I'd always be insecure and unhappy underneath. Or I'd throw and break sh!t, including the relationship. So don't tell her!

That's coming FROM A FEMALE, LOL!!! Why don't you respond and argue on how she is so fvcking stupid that she feels like that? common guys, even the girls are saying he should just treat her good from now on and dont' tell her, because it's SELFISH to tell her, and points out clearly why the relationship would FAIL if he tells her. But no, you guys are just gonna ignore all that. And angelo, you don't need to tell me about your self and try to sound all alpha, I don't give a sh*t what you do in your life lol (and I know you're not alpha :yes: ). You still gave out crappy ass advice. Same with you Jaylan, your responsed to THIS PARTICULAR thread have been ****ty (I'm not saying all your advice elsewhere is, but right here, you guys sucked lol). You guys are living in some fantasy land when in comes to this subject and had the OP followed your adice (he was smart enough not to) it would have had huge consequences with this girl (basically, he wouldn't thave her lol). So EVERYONE over 25 and also the females are all saying the same thing, but only you two think you're right and everyone else is wrong. Just so happens that you two are probably the least experienced ones of all of us stating otherwise. Hey, if one of you was a girl you guys would have made a PERFECT couple :crackup: In all seriousness, I'm just not happy that you guys were pretty much wanting this guy to sabotage his relationship with this girl. The more you post, the more I think deep down you KNOW that this would end his relationship, because one of you said "tell her the truth and then he can find some other girl and she can find someone that really loves her" or something to that effect. You're not really HELPING this guy here, but fulfilling your own SELFISH agendas. He says that he still wants this girl and never wants to cheat on her again. You're not helping him accomplish that, and it's a little disturbing to think that you may actually KNOW that you're not helping with this and that your advice would result in a negative outcome for this guy. I think you guys are p**sies. :nono:

 

[Sh0t]

Yea. I like to do that kind of manipulation, too, but not amongst my womanizing brothers.

I save that kind of evilness for loveshack or enotalone. Those forums are scary.

 

[Jaylan]

@ 2 post up

please tell me you are not using ONE female opinion to back your entire argument...that would be horribly laughable. take this convo to a forum that is not about getting laid and the results split more evenly and is argued better than how you do it.

quit trying to deem our opinions as invalid when we simply are stating how we give and expect the same level of respect from our partners. if you dont then thats good for y

 

[Jaylan]

Not a problem buddy. You came to the right conclusion. Now treat that girl of yours good!

As for Jaylan and Angelo, lol, this is getting a little silly for me. It's like you guys are not even considering anything others here have said and their reasons. Here, did you not read this female perspective:



That's coming FROM A FEMALE, LOL!!! Why don't you respond and argue on how she is so fvcking stupid that she feels like that? common guys, even the girls are saying he should just treat her good from now on and dont' tell her, because it's SELFISH to tell her, and points out clearly why the relationship would FAIL if he tells her.

wait wait, so its better not to tell her and give her free will in the matter of love and a two person relationship that had set rules? ok sure, that makes sense

But no, you guys are just gonna ignore all that. And angelo, you don't need to tell me about your self and try to sound all alpha, I don't give a sh*t what you do in your life lol (and I know you're not alpha :yes: ). You still gave out crappy ass advice.

yeah respecting those you care about is so not alpha...yeah any advice you disagree with even when the advice makes good points, must be crappy advice *rolls eyes*

Same with you Jaylan, your responsed to THIS PARTICULAR thread have been ****ty (I'm not saying all your advice elsewhere is, but right here, you guys sucked lol). You guys are living in some fantasy land when in comes to this subject and had the OP followed your adice (he was smart enough not to) it would have had huge consequences with this girl (basically, he wouldn't thave her lol).

again...hows it bad advice...he says he loves her...so why cant she know important details of her relationship....why cant she get the respect that he knows he wants from her? since when is do good to those because you want them to do good unto you, bad advice? its not fantasy land to love and respect friends and loved ones the way they would love and respect you. gimme a break dude. again i say this, youd all be crying a whole nother tune if a female came in here saying she did this to her man

So EVERYONE over 25 and also the females are all saying the same thing, but only you two think you're right and everyone else is wrong. Just so happens that you two are probably the least experienced ones of all of us stating otherwise.

least experienced? because you know so much about my dating history...*yawn* and again, one female on a forum about getting laid does not prove you right. things would be different on another forum, just google. ive seen these threads before and most people lean toward honesty despite the negative outcome.

our differing viewpoint holds merit and you know it. i never knew it was such a bad thing to honor your commitments and promises *rolls eyes to back of head*


Hey, if one of you was a girl you guys would have made a PERFECT couple :crackup: In all seriousness, I'm just not happy that you guys were pretty much wanting this guy to sabotage his relationship with this girl.

he did that himself by cheating. lies or not these relationships built on dishonesty wont last.
The more you post, the more I think deep down you KNOW that this would end his relationship, because one of you said "tell her the truth and then he can find some other girl and she can find someone that really loves her" or something to that effect. You're not really HELPING this guy here, but fulfilling your own SELFISH agendas.

dude im simply telling you that i disagree with what you are saying. dont even try and call that a selfish agenda. you have yet to tell me why my main point of giving the respect you want to receive is bad. excuse me for not helping in the way you think i should. yes let me help him build a bad relationship that can end pretty badly.

let me encourage him to be dishonest in relationships. sure, because you think we should

He says that he still wants this girl and never wants to cheat on her again. You're not helping him accomplish that, and it's a little disturbing to think that you may actually KNOW that you're not helping with this and that your advice would result in a negative outcome for this guy. I think you guys are p**sies. :nono:

people say never again all the time. some do it again and some dont. that doesnt mean the partner has no right to know important details about a two person relationship and make their own imporant life decisions. tell me why she shouldnt be allowed to choose her own path with total knowledge of these things of importance

bolded

 

[sstype]

If a woman had been the one cheating I would ask

1. Were you protected?
2. Did you do this b/c you were no longer in love with him or you do love him you just got caught up in the moment?

If the latter, I would say the same thing.....forget it happened, don't do it again, and move on.

To expect 100% honesty in a relationship is naive and foolish. Seriously, how many of you guys would answer honestly if your slightly overweight girlfriend asked "do these jeans make me look fat?"

Do you guys also disclose your porn stash, pyscho ex-girlfriends, and your SoSuave/PUA material to your girlfriend?

What if your amazing awesome girlfriend was honest and told you about the time she blew the whole football team back in college? Would you look at her the same going forward?

There's a reason people aren't completely truthful, not because they are malicious and want to hurt that person....but because very few people can actually handle the truth.