Guilt from cheating on LTR

[Sofomore]

So I'm a dumbass. I have been in the pick-up mindset for the last month and just recently went on vacation. My girlfriend is sweet, sexy and just like me. I am 20 years old and she is also 20. This is the first time I have ever cheated on a girlfriend. I ended up f***ing some random chick the last night of vacation because I was drunk and my hormones got the best of me.

Today, all I could think about is how much I love my girlfriend and how f***ing retarded I am. It's almost as if cheating on her has made me want her MORE because I realize how quality of a girl she is. She gets back from her vacation in a week and I don't know if I am going to feel this guilty around her.

Have any of you guys had the same situation? My "good" side says tell her but the little devil on my shoulder says she will never find out.

This blows.

 

[Scars]

Well first off, don't tell her. Keep it to yourself, and don't change your attitude by showing her more affection after this realization of how much more you "love" her. Things have been going well for you, so just keep doing what you're doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Second off. Don't feel bad at all. I hate to break it to you, but you girl is also on vacation, do you think she is being an innocent angel as well? No way. Passion gets the best of us all. It did for you, am I right? Woman are even worse, thinking solely on emotions constantly. All it takes is a suave man to exploit the fact that she is away from her boyfriend. She is highly vulnerable being miles and miles away from you.

I don't mean to sound like a d!ck, but stop thinking your girl is an innocent angel. She WILL cheat on you if the opportunity arises and she knows she can get away with it. So have the same mindset.

Also, don't change your attitude or start being extra caring and sweet to her. Like I said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Other wise you might cave into being a nice guy AFC again and suddenly start hearing about how she rode some dudes d!ck on vacation. Just being real brother.

-Scars

 

[Angelo]

It's because you are not a Don Juan.

A true Don Juan does not let emotions take over him. If he is with the girl he truly likes, he will be able to control himself and not screw some bimbo because he was drunk.

A Don Juan is not a cheater.

 

[Sofomore]

Well first off, don't tell her. Keep it to yourself, and don't change your attitude by showing her more affection after this realization of how much more you "love" her. Things have been going well for you, so just keep doing what you're doing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Second off. Don't feel bad at all. I hate to break it to you, but you girl is also on vacation, do you think she is being an innocent angel as well? No way. Passion gets the best of us all. It did for you, am I right? Woman are even worse, thinking solely on emotions constantly. All it takes is a suave man to exploit the fact that she is away from her boyfriend. She is highly vulnerable being miles and miles away from you.

I don't mean to sound like a d!ck, but stop thinking your girl is an innocent angel. She WILL cheat on you if the opportunity arises and she knows she can get away with it. So have the same mindset.

Also, don't change your attitude or start being extra caring and sweet to her. Like I said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Other wise you might cave into being a nice guy AFC again and suddenly start hearing about how she rode some dudes d!ck on vacation. Just being real brother.

-Scars

I appreciate the honesty, you always have very insightful posts. My girl is very smart, and I know she has probably had many opportunities to cheat on me.

She sent me an email the other day saying she made out with a bisexual girl because she had always been curious and wanted to try it. She sent me an email saying she was worried of what I would think and it had been on her mind all day. She felt super guilty about making out with another girl, so I wonder how she would feel if she cheated on me.

I am definitely not doing it again. I like to believe I am an honest person, and having to hold it back is very hard.

 

[Angelo]

Second off. Don't feel bad at all. I hate to break it to you, but you girl is also on vacation, do you think she is being an innocent angel as well? No way. Passion gets the best of us all. It did for you, am I right? Woman are even worse, thinking solely on emotions constantly. All it takes is a suave man to exploit the fact that she is away from her boyfriend. She is highly vulnerable being miles and miles away from you.

I don't mean to sound like a d!ck, but stop thinking your girl is an innocent angel. She WILL cheat on you if the opportunity arises and she knows she can get away with it. So have the same mindset.

-Scars

So? It is true that many girls are unfaithful. But what about you? If you think it is okay to sleep around behind your LTR girl's back then you are no different from these low life girls.

I hate girls who cheat. I hate guys who cheat. If you are so easily taken over by your urges then do not get into LTR.

 

[Sofomore]

It's because you are not a Don Juan.

A true Don Juan does not let emotions take over him. If he is with the girl he truly likes, he will be able to control himself and not screw some bimbo because he was drunk.

A Don Juan is not a cheater.

Maybe I am not a Don Juan, so what?

 

[Angelo]

Maybe I am not a Don Juan, so what?

Then to each his own.

 

[gspshields2]

Don't feel so guilty, you are very young, what you are experiencing is young petty puppy love. Don't tell her what you did. Chances are, she already did the same thing to you, or she will. at the age of 20, do you really thinkg shes looking to get married or have some fun? she will explore her options. don't be so naive young one.

 

[Scars]

So? It is true that many girls are unfaithful. But what about you? If you think it is okay to sleep around behind your LTR girl's back then you are no different from these low life girls.

I hate girls who cheat. I hate guys who cheat. If you are so easily taken over by your urges then do not get into LTR.

Easier said then done. The problem lies within the psyche itself. Girls DON'T get into relationships with the intention to cheat/fvck you over. It just happens. They are amoral. Not immoral. Amoral. Meaning, they really have no clear definition of right and wrong. They only do what FEELS right at that given moment. In essence, they are selfish. A lot of girls simply get into relationships just to "show off" their man. They get attention and validation from snagging one of high status. Others, do it for more superficial means (gold diggers) and use and abuse a man financially. But they can also be easily manipulated for the simple fact that they think with their feelings. A girl may love her boyfriend deeply, but under the right circumstances a suave man can come a long get her emotions high and make her FEEL like cheating on him is right. The suave man will say all the right things at the right time, touch her in all the right places, and get her feeling good to the point where everything disappears and the only thing that matters is her interaction with the suave man. Her emotions start to override her logic. It doesn't mean she is a heartless b!tch, or that she won't feel horrible about it the next day, but at that given moment it was right. It FELT right to her. This is what a lot of noobies need to realize, that woman aren't these innocent angels that the media and society makes them out to be. I think to be in the game these days, you have to be just as ruthless. It doesn't mean you need to actively cheat on your girlfriend, but be aware of the possibilities.

As for sofomore: Thank you very much. The fact that your girlfriend made out with some girl randomly should be a red flag right there. Your girl admitted to wanting to live out some "fantasy" she had been harboring for a long time of making out with some girl. What's to stop her from acting on another fantasy, say fvcking some random guy on vacation in a bathroom stall, and then telling you "oops" afterwards, or nothing at all?

I'm not trying to say she is a cheating slvt, or is/has cheated. But you cannot deny the possibilities, which is exactly why you should not feel bad at all. It is what it is, and take it to the grave.

-Scars

 

[Yo'Mama]

At your age it's not a big deal. It's really unlikely you will end up marrying this girl.

I cheated on an LTR when I was much older than you. Was consumed by guilt to the point where it became obsessive. It really ****ed me up. Now I'm ok though. You have to get perspective on things. Everyone slips up and makes mistakes. Now you realise this isn't something you want to do again.

There's nothing calculating or malicious in you, you're young and you made a mistake (I'm not saying cheating is always a mistake but this is how you see it in this case). Don't be too hard on yourself. Men are absolutely built to want to **** every single hot girl we see. It should be more acceptable but unfortunately in our feminized culture it isn't.

Don't stress.

 

[Sofomore]

Easier said then done. The problem lies within the psyche itself. Girls DON'T get into relationships with the intention to cheat/fvck you over. It just happens. They are amoral. Not immoral. Amoral. Meaning, they really have no clear definition of right and wrong. They only do what FEELS right at that given moment. In essence, they are selfish. A lot of girls simply get into relationships just to "show off" their man. They get attention and validation from snagging one of high status. Others, do it for more superficial means (gold diggers) and use and abuse a man financially. But they can also be easily manipulated for the simple fact that they think with their feelings. A girl may love her boyfriend deeply, but under the right circumstances a suave man can come a long get her emotions high and make her FEEL like cheating on him is right. The suave man will say all the right things at the right time, touch her in all the right places, and get her feeling good to the point where everything disappears and the only thing that matters is her interaction with the suave man. Her emotions start to override her logic. It doesn't mean she is a heartless b!tch, or that she won't feel horrible about it the next day, but at that given moment it was right. It FELT right to her. This is what a lot of noobies need to realize, that woman aren't these innocent angels that the media and society makes them out to be. I think to be in the game these days, you have to be just as ruthless. It doesn't mean you need to actively cheat on your girlfriend, but be aware of the possibilities.

As for sofomore: Thank you very much. The fact that your girlfriend made out with some girl randomly should be a red flag right there. Your girl admitted to wanting to live out some "fantasy" she had been harboring for a long time of making out with some girl. What's to stop her from acting on another fantasy, say fvcking some random guy on vacation in a bathroom stall, and then telling you "oops" afterwards, or nothing at all?

I'm not trying to say she is a cheating slvt, or is/has cheated. But you cannot deny the possibilities, which is exactly why you should not feel bad at all. It is what it is, and take it to the grave.

-Scars

Damn dude, just reading that sentence put a knot in my stomach, a worse feeling than thinking about me cheating on her. I am such a hypocrite.

 

[Angelo]

Easier said then done. The problem lies within the psyche itself. Girls DON'T get into relationships with the intention to cheat/fvck you over. It just happens. They are amoral. Not immoral. Amoral. Meaning, they really have no clear definition of right and wrong. They only do what FEELS right at that given moment. In essence, they are selfish. A lot of girls simply get into relationships just to "show off" their man. They get attention and validation from snagging one of high status. Others, do it for more superficial means (gold diggers) and use and abuse a man financially. But they can also be easily manipulated for the simple fact that they think with their feelings. A girl may love her boyfriend deeply, but under the right circumstances a suave man can come a long get her emotions high and make her FEEL like cheating on him is right. The suave man will say all the right things at the right time, touch her in all the right places, and get her feeling good to the point where everything disappears and the only thing that matters is her interaction with the suave man. Her emotions start to override her logic. It doesn't mean she is a heartless b!tch, or that she won't feel horrible about it the next day, but at that given moment it was right. It FELT right to her. This is what a lot of noobies need to realize, that woman aren't these innocent angels that the media and society makes them out to be. I think to be in the game these days, you have to be just as ruthless. It doesn't mean you need to actively cheat on your girlfriend, but be aware of the possibilities.

As for sofomore: Thank you very much. The fact that your girlfriend made out with some girl randomly should be a red flag right there. Your girl admitted to wanting to live out some "fantasy" she had been harboring for a long time of making out with some girl. What's to stop her from acting on another fantasy, say fvcking some random guy on vacation in a bathroom stall, and then telling you "oops" afterwards, or nothing at all?

I'm not trying to say she is a cheating slvt, or is/has cheated. But you cannot deny the possibilities, which is exactly why you should not feel bad at all. It is what it is, and take it to the grave.

-Scars

You can say how amoral it is, but the problem wasn't her, he is the one who is guilty of cheating. And yes the girl made out with another person, but he cheated before even knowing that.. Do you see where I'm going with this?

And yes, just because women date you does not mean she genuinely likes you. But that is why you are a Don Juan and filter these b!tches out.

 

[Sofomore]

You can say how amoral it is, but the problem wasn't her, he is the one who is guilty of cheating. And yes the girl made out with another person, but he cheated before even knowing that.. Do you see where I'm going with this?

And yes, just because women date you does not mean she genuinely likes you. But that is why you are a Don Juan and filter these b!tches out.

Oh boy, here comes the part of the thread where people don't understand the background info.

We've been exclusive for a year and a half. For about 3 months we were essentially f-buddies and I came to realize that I didn't want to bang random chicks and that this girl was unqiue. She fits my personality very well and I love her very much (to those that don't believe in "love"- STFU). Eventually we became exclusive and would hang out ALL the time. Within the last 3 months I became slightly tired of always hanging out with her and having the same mutual friends. I wanted to go out and experience college, so I had a dilemma about ending a loving relationship just because I wanted to bang other women.

Now, she left on a summer abroad program for a month and I spent a lot of time thinking that maybe I want to be single. The mental conflict only got worse and I started having serious thoughts about cheating on her because she is no where around and I haven't had any ***** for a month (fvcking hormones). Eventually, that serious thought turned into a drunk hookup (last night), that leaves me here...today...extremely guilty and feeling like a pathetic AFC.

 

[Scars]

You can say how amoral it is, but the problem wasn't her, he is the one who is guilty of cheating. And yes the girl made out with another person, but he cheated before even knowing that.. Do you see where I'm going with this?

And yes, just because women date you does not mean she genuinely likes you. But that is why you are a Don Juan and filter these b!tches out.

Why should he feel about cheating? If you reread, it was actually HER that made out with somebody else before he ever "decided" to cheat. You are jumping on the Morality crew band wagon, which is something you should avoid. It will save you a lot of time, energy, and heartache if you just learn to accept these truths now. Woman are not innocent angels, so we should not be held to the same degree either. Guys who worry too much about being faithful are the ones who get cheated on, or get dumped for being a "nice guy". I hate to break it to you, but getting other female attention will actually SAVE your relationship. Yes, you read me right. A girl is not going to want to stay with you if you aren't desirable. I'm not saying you have to cheat on her, but girls trying to flirt with YOU is a good thing. Female attention always brings your value up in their eyes. It will make her crave you more. You should always keep your options open, after all, she is doing the same thing. Think back on your AFC days, when a girl broke up with you out of nowhere and suddenly she was dating some other guy. Do you think she met him 2 days after the break up? No, she was talking to him while you guys were still together. Be aware of the possibilities, and pretty much.. DATE like a woman. Have the same selfish attitude, fair is fair.

-Scars

 

[Alle_Gory]

The worst thing you can do is tell her. You fvcked up, you made the mistake now you deal with it. Don't let this ruin her and fvck up your relationship.

This is your weakness and therefore your problem.

 

[ipeefreely]

It's funny because I've actually been on the other side of the spectrum here (I was the one that got cheated on). So here's my opinion...

While I'm sure there will be a ton of guys here that'll tell you not to tell her and just leave it be.... I personally object to that.


I actually think that if you really like her and you want to be in this relationship for the long run, that you should tell her. If she really really likes you, she'll come to understand that what happened was a one time thing and that it was just a bad mix of alcohol and hormones. **** happens. Eventually she might even come to respect you for coming out to her because that honestly takes a lot of courage and was done with the best intentions in mind.

 

[gspshields2]

It's funny because I've actually been on the other side of the spectrum here (I was the one that got cheated on). So here's my opinion...

While I'm sure there will be a ton of guys here that'll tell you not to tell her and just leave it be.... I personally object to that.


I actually think that if you really like her and you want to be in this relationship for the long run, that you should tell her. If she really really likes you, she'll come to understand that what happened was a one time thing and that it was just a bad mix of alcohol and hormones. **** happens. Eventually she might even come to respect you for coming out to her because that honestly takes a lot of courage and was done with the best intentions in mind.

The guy is 20, hes not gonna marry this girl, theres really no point in telling her.

 

[ipeefreely]

The guy is 20, hes not gonna marry this girl, theres really no point in telling her.

Lol, did not even see that. But hey you never know. I've had friends who have been married since they were 19.

 

[Angelo]

Why should he feel about cheating? If you reread, it was actually HER that made out with somebody else before he ever "decided" to cheat. You are jumping on the Morality crew band wagon, which is something you should avoid. It will save you a lot of time, energy, and heartache if you just learn to accept these truths now. Woman are not innocent angels, so we should not be held to the same degree either. Guys who worry too much about being faithful are the ones who get cheated on, or get dumped for being a "nice guy". I hate to break it to you, but getting other female attention will actually SAVE your relationship. Yes, you read me right. A girl is not going to want to stay with you if you aren't desirable. I'm not saying you have to cheat on her, but girls trying to flirt with YOU is a good thing. Female attention always brings your value up in their eyes. It will make her crave you more. You should always keep your options open, after all, she is doing the same thing. Think back on your AFC days, when a girl broke up with you out of nowhere and suddenly she was dating some other guy. Do you think she met him 2 days after the break up? No, she was talking to him while you guys were still together. Be aware of the possibilities, and pretty much.. DATE like a woman. Have the same selfish attitude, fair is fair.

-Scars

I read his first post and there wasn't a line that said he cheated because his girls cheated first.

And yes, dude I am not some chump. I know girls aren't angels. But there are those who will truly like you and will not cheat on you. They will avoid situations where cheating will happen the best they can.

And I do not care about her having options... Hell she can talk to all the guys she wants and I wouldn't care at this point in my life because I am in my 20's building my life. There are MORE IMPORTANT things to worry about than some bimbo cheating on me. My goals and ambitions are far greater than any woman at this point. If they cheat, they are gone. However, just because a girl I happen to be in a "relationship" with has the option to cheat DOES NOT mean I will cheat as soon as another bimbo spreads her legs for me.

This isn't about morality. This is about knowing myself. And myself does not cheat.

 

[Sofomore]

It's funny because I've actually been on the other side of the spectrum here (I was the one that got cheated on). So here's my opinion...

While I'm sure there will be a ton of guys here that'll tell you not to tell her and just leave it be.... I personally object to that.


I actually think that if you really like her and you want to be in this relationship for the long run, that you should tell her. If she really really likes you, she'll come to understand that what happened was a one time thing and that it was just a bad mix of alcohol and hormones. **** happens. Eventually she might even come to respect you for coming out to her because that honestly takes a lot of courage and was done with the best intentions in mind.

I feel this. She really does like me, to the point that she will do anything for me. All this DJ/PUA sh!t aside, we are very fond of eachother. I honestly don't think we are going to get married but I am happy with her at the time. I guess you could say I am not setting up expectations for the future and just enjoying the time I have with her.

The only thing holding me back is if she told me she slept with some guy on her trip, I would dump her right away.