CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
These last issues are solely on you and Iget it!! went through it perfectly...just bite down and stop fidgeting. You're not the only one with these issues, many before you have overcame and conquered.someguy24 said:
Got rejected by every single girl I've approached
- Thread starter someguy24
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Rescue Mission
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you're not as good looking as all of the liars who try to make you feel better tell you.
You are only as good looking as the girls that you fvck tell you.........stop being delusional!
I'll use myself as an example.....if 10 girls told me that I am handsome, but none of them ended up kissing me, id assume that it's all bullshyt and that I am not as handsome as I am told.
At the same time, if I fvcked 10 girls and each one told me at some point "you are so handsome" or "you are soooo hot", I would believe them, and would believe that I am indeed pretty damn good looking.
See the difference?
You are only as good looking as the girls that you fvck tell you.........stop being delusional!
I'll use myself as an example.....if 10 girls told me that I am handsome, but none of them ended up kissing me, id assume that it's all bullshyt and that I am not as handsome as I am told.
At the same time, if I fvcked 10 girls and each one told me at some point "you are so handsome" or "you are soooo hot", I would believe them, and would believe that I am indeed pretty damn good looking.
See the difference?
Igetit!
Moderator
Yeah,I understand what you mean by this. I've fell into this trap before as well.someguy24 said:
Humor is good,but what we're talking about here and what your ULTIMATE GOAL IS is for the woman to be SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to you.
She can go to a comedy show and laugh all night long at the guy on stage cracking jokes and he may be good for amusement,but as far as "turning her on sexually" that's a different story.
You have to COMBINE humor with showing your sexual interest to a girl at THE SAME TIME.
That's the true definition of "****y funny". Just being funny only might get you a little attention,but once you decide to turn off the humor and be serious with a girl,if ALL YOU HAD was humor and jokes,then she'll walk away.
There is NOTHING ELSE. Changing how you see yourself will start to change how others see you.someguy24 said:
Doing these two things will ultimately give you the sucess you want.
The thing is this.....your problem appears to be twofold....
1
ersonal (which is how you view yourself),and...2:A lack of understand how attraction works for WOMEN.
Both of these are intertwined.
Number 1 effects number 2,and number 2 effects number 1.
Once you start to fix number 1,a LOT of the issues you have with number 2 will AUTOMATICALLY CORRECT THEMSELVES.
I'll show you how this works....
Let's say that one of the issues you have with number 1 is low self-esteem,and one of the things you need to understand about number 2,(which is how attraction works for women) is that women are emotional.
Now watch this.....
If you have low self-esteem,then you going to be walking around feeling bad about yourself. The way you feel about yourself will come across in your bodylanguage,your tone of voice,and the vibes you give off to other people.
All of that is #1,(how you see yourself).
Well women are emotional. If you're around a girl and you're feeling and expressing an emotion (any emotion) strongly enough,BECAUSE WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL,(which means they're sensitive to emotions),they'll "sense" the vibe coming from you.
So if you're uncomfortable with yourself,then it'll come across to girls WHILE YOU'RE SPEAKING TO THEM,and YOU will make them feel uncomfortable.
The vibes and emotions you give off will OVERPOWER any words you say.
So if you're talking to a girl,but on the inside your thinking,"I hope she likes me. Please,please,like me",then the insecurity you have going on inside you will come across in how you behave with her.
It'll be like you have to go to the bathroom,and you're trying to hold it in.
You're talking to her,but you're nervous and fidgity,and the being nervous and fidgeting will CANCEL OUT what you say.
You see what I mean about how #1 (how you view yourself) effects #2 (understanding attraction for women)?
If you start to correct some of #1,a lot of the misunderstandings about women will clear themselves up.
Not ALL OF THEM,but you'll have less to deal with.
But unless you deal with how you view yourself FIRST,you'll just keep UNKNOWINGLY pushing women away.
This forum can help you with that.
It is somewhat of a journey,but you don't have to get to the end of it before you start getting better with girls,you can have victories and improvements along the way,but you do have to START.
Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
one thing i get confused about is the amount of attention to give a girl. I have a friend. he used to be a nice guy and only got rejected all the time. he then became a total ****, ignoring women, treating them badly, etc. he gets a different girl every week. the question is, should i ignore a girl and show like i dont give a **** about her? should i start becoming a jerk?
lots of girls are attracted to *******s, even though they ***** and complain about them all the time. But the question is, are you a *******? You can't just pretend to be one, that won't work, she'll eventually see through that and will lose all interest.someguy24 said:
JdelaSilviera
Master Don Juan
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First I would like to tell, that I Know from personal experience, that you can be very handsome and still don´t get any. So i believe you are well built and good looking as you previously wrote.someguy24 said:
I really know a guy when girls first seem him say "wow"... when they get to know him better they say "no". Personallity is a must.
I remember also with me two girls who were very interested , until they discovered that I was super shy...
Also if you are a computer geek, probably your social circle isn´t enough wide, once you have female friends other girls will be far more open to you...if you have looks and no social circle, you LOSE to an Ugly guy with lots of female friends.
Now answering your question, you should have bad boy traits, indifference /don´t care attitude, ****y and funny, always demanding respect, and you should be a bit aggressive. For me the key is to tease her, make fun of her in playful way ( say her nails or eyes are fake, she´s not your type etc...) and touch her.
After reading so much stuff, I would still go to clubs and leaned in, be super nice etc... it seemes that I forgot all my hours of study , so now the things I always have in my mind is teasing and touch her. And about a previous thing you said, yes you should be funny, but it´s not about telling jokes, it´s about being playful, teasing and a challenge. Behave like you would do with an ugly chick.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
you dont even realize it but you are already a step ahead of alot of guys. Being able to approach women and even ask them out. it seems foolish, but alot of men have approach anxiety and cant conquer this simple feat.someguy24 said:
why do YOU think this is? honestly, what reason have you given yourself to why women say no to you...?? im interested in your take.
can you give us an example of a time when you tried to ask a woman on a date and she said no?
such a common EXCUSE.
it should never matter if you THINK shes either interested or not interested. the only thing that should matter is if YOU are interested. how can any conversation you have with someone be productive if you are focusing on if they are interested in your or not?
if i only asked out women i ASSUMED were interested, there would be alot of times i made a bad assumption. you arent asking women out to please other people. youre doing it for yourself.
...and how can it be determined that it "wont work" when she hasnt had the opportunity to get to know YOU? these are both bad excuses that your friends may have come accustomed to , dont do the same. there is NO ONE OFF LIMITS. if you want something, make it known, and go after it.
another misinterpretation. its not the "jerk" thats appealling to women. so dont ever TRY and be anything that your not. its the CONFIDENCE that a "jerk" tends to display. you can be a gentleman and respectful, while at the same time making no apologies for who you are and what you want.
GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, AND MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR YOUR ACTIONS.
you will never succeed with this mentality. you have to REALIZE that you have something to offer. bring these women into YOUR REALITY and stop trying to get into theirs.
stop worrying about women being interested in YOU, and concern yourself with YOU BEING INTERESTED IN THEM.
Ill share something with you that helped me. i started to realize that i was important. i didnt just settle for any woman that showed signs of interest. i was a rare commodity and rare commodities dont just offer themselves to just anyone. these women had to convince me that they were worth MY TIME, not the other way around.
when i eventually realized this , my entire frame of thinking changed. and the confidence that i tried to display was now second nature.
THIS is what you need to reailze as truth brother
So lemme see if i got this right
-First, I have to change the way I view myself
This means stop telling myself I am undesirable, only friend material, and that no attractive woman will be interested
From what you guys have been posting, a negative self perception gives off vibes that women can pick up on.
-I have to change the way I view women
This means I have to stop seeing women as only being interested in tough macho guys.
-I have to embrace my masculine sexuality
This means I gotta stop being ashamed of having sexual desires and stop being afraid of showing them
-I have to stop basing my worth on success with women
This means i gotta stop judging my worth based on how women perceive me.
-I must stop using excessive humor
As one of you guys said, there are different types of humor. One type makes you attractive to women and another simply makes you a clown.
-I must flirt
-I have to stop making women that important
This means I have to be happy with myself without a woman
-I must have strong body language
I tend to have closed body language that disrupts any kind of rapport. I have intimacy issues and connecting with others is scary to me.
Did i miss anything?
I have one more question
If I am shy and anxious while interacting with women, should i just be honest and say I am a lil shy rather than try to hide it?
I have noticed that the more I try to hide anxiety, the more tense, aloof, and cold I seem. Some people have even told me they thought I was snobby.
-First, I have to change the way I view myself
This means stop telling myself I am undesirable, only friend material, and that no attractive woman will be interested
From what you guys have been posting, a negative self perception gives off vibes that women can pick up on.
-I have to change the way I view women
This means I have to stop seeing women as only being interested in tough macho guys.
-I have to embrace my masculine sexuality
This means I gotta stop being ashamed of having sexual desires and stop being afraid of showing them
-I have to stop basing my worth on success with women
This means i gotta stop judging my worth based on how women perceive me.
-I must stop using excessive humor
As one of you guys said, there are different types of humor. One type makes you attractive to women and another simply makes you a clown.
-I must flirt
-I have to stop making women that important
This means I have to be happy with myself without a woman
-I must have strong body language
I tend to have closed body language that disrupts any kind of rapport. I have intimacy issues and connecting with others is scary to me.
Did i miss anything?
I have one more question
If I am shy and anxious while interacting with women, should i just be honest and say I am a lil shy rather than try to hide it?
I have noticed that the more I try to hide anxiety, the more tense, aloof, and cold I seem. Some people have even told me they thought I was snobby.
GettinLuckyAintLuck
Don Juan
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You're putting pus sy on a pedestal, get yourself a decent hooker(wear a rubber) find out for yourself that sex is good, but it's nothin' to get anxious over.
Igetit!
Moderator
Right.someguy24 said:
Stop telling yourself these negative things,and also,the "only friend material" is EASILY fixable.
In fact,when you find out how easy it is to avoid being "the friend" you're going to feel down-right STUPID.
I could just tell you straight out how to avoid the "friends" thing RIGHT NOW,but you have some other MORE IMPORTANT things you need to focus on first.
Right.someguy24 said:
Women are emotional. So if you walk around all negative,bitter,and full of insecurity on the inside,it'll come across in what you say,how you say it,in the way you act and behave towards a girl.
The negative vibes and energy you give off will push women away.
In fact,in most cases,you won't even have to open your mouth and it'll ALREADY be over with.
She'll rule you out simply based on HOW SHE FELT when she was with you.
You need to understand what it is women are attracted to.someguy24 said:
It's not being "nice",or sweet,or being a "good" person. They don't care anything about that.
The techincal definition of what attracts women is this....
"Women are attracted to men who radiate superior power",or to just put it plainly,women are attracted to men who are superior to them.
That's basically it in a nutshell. You have to be superior.
If she's strong,then you're stronger.
If she's rich,then you're richer.
If she's tall,then you be taller.
You have to be superior.
The thing is this....you dont ACTUALLY have to be these things,you just have to act and carry yourself like you are.
That can be explained in greater detail later on.
Right,and this one ISN'T OPTIONAL.someguy24 said:
You HAVE TO DO THIS. Again,this one is too much to get into at the moment,just know that there's simply no way around this one.
Correct.someguy24 said:
Base your worth on the fact that you're a good and decent person,based on the fact the you simply exist,and there's ONLY ONE of you,and there'll NEVER be another.
Base your worth on that,NOT on whether some chick you've known all of 2 seconds agrees to let you take her out.
Some humor is ok,just use it in moderation.someguy24 said:
True,and again,in moderation.someguy24 said:
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Yeah,watch yourself to see if you walk with confidence,or if you mope around with your head hung down.someguy24 said:
NO....and I mean NO to the 5th power.someguy24 said:
Don't tell a girl your shy. You may get sympathy from her,but you WON'T GET attraction.
This is what I meant about how working on yourself will AUTOMATICALLY correct some of the problems you have interacting with girls.
Once you start to straighten out some of ways you see yourself,you'll start to become LESS SHY.
It's important that FIRST OF ALL,you correct how you view yourself.
Once you've start to do that,you'll need to give us some more info on HOW you approach a girl.
We'll need to examine it to see what in your game you need to change.
But like I said previously,you'll need to get how you view yourself fixed first before we tackle the way you approach girls.
If you don't do that first,then all the advice we give you on how and what to say to girls will be useless because the way you view yourself will screw everything up.
can u tell me how to avoid the friend zone even though its not that important now? thing is, i have MANY female friends. I am a social guy and meet people on a regular basis. So i want to avoid the friend trap from now on.
Igetit!
Moderator
Ok.someguy24 said:
It's easy dude. All you have to do is be sexual with a girl.
That's it,but understand what I mean when I say to "be sexual"....
I DON'T MEAN to be vulgar
I DON'T MEAN to be obscene or profane
I DON'T MEAN to be "dirty or nasty".
I DO NOT MEAN to walk up to a girl and tell her you want to put your d*ck into her "blank".
That's NOT what I'm talking about.
I simply mean to show your interest to her FROM THE BEGINNING.
For example:Let's say you see a girl you like and you's like to date her.
When you approach her,after you get a little bit of a conversation going with her you need to show your interest like this...
you:So what's the deal with you? You married? You belong to anybody? Because if not,then I WANT to see you.
Now let's say she says,"I don't know" to you. Then you come back at her with something like....
you:You don't know,huh? Ok. Well what if I promise to be good for the first 15 minutes of the date?
Do you see what I'm doing here? You need to understand what CAUSES girls to pull out the "let's just be friends" line on guys.
They do it because guys AREN'T SEXUAL towards them. They don't flirt,or do anything romantic towards them.
That's why I told you in your earlier post that you embracing your sexual side ISN'T AN OPTION.
You HAVE TO do this. If you don't,you'll get friendzoned EVERY TIME.
You're the MAN,so you have to lead and initiate things. A girl may hint around it,but she won't come straight out with it because she doesn't want to be perceived as a "slvt".
So YOU have to take charge and do it. And if you don't,she'll just pull out the friend card on you,and then go find a MAN who will do it.
Just show your interest to a girl within the first few minutes of meeting her,that's it.
It really is just that simple.
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OMGWTFLMAO
Don Juan
As long as you have good hygiene (don't have body odor or bad breath) and make an effort to look your best your problem is probably the result of your shyness. Many shy guys have a tendency to come across as sort of "asexual". Don't be afraid to flirt and show sexual interest in members of the opposite sex. It's also important not to be boring. That means you need to be able to carry on at least casual conversation. If you struggle at making small talk you should practice on people you are NOT attracted to in order to get more comfortable talking to people you don't know.
Rescue Mission
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IGetIt - I love ya man, and the advice you give, but we are COMPLETELY OVER-ANALYZING HERE!!!!
The issues with this guy, and most men in his position, all boils down to looking like a slob and somewhat nerdy........until the LOOK and PRESENTATION drastically change, along with gaining some nice lean muscle, no advice will work for this guy and all guys in his situation
Girls, especially hot girls, simply don't want to associate with certain types of guys.........and on top of that list, is the "creepy not so good looking try-hard virgin who clearly has no idea how to fvck a girl the right way" kind of guy.
The issues with this guy, and most men in his position, all boils down to looking like a slob and somewhat nerdy........until the LOOK and PRESENTATION drastically change, along with gaining some nice lean muscle, no advice will work for this guy and all guys in his situation
Girls, especially hot girls, simply don't want to associate with certain types of guys.........and on top of that list, is the "creepy not so good looking try-hard virgin who clearly has no idea how to fvck a girl the right way" kind of guy.
kingsam
Master Don Juan
totally agree, you should always look "sharp"Rescue Mission said:
good clothes, good hair, good stubble some forms of facial hair 'can' look good,
go to they gym = better posture, project more confidence, women can smell your testosterone
confident and self assured and alpha body language
--------------------
the OP is the "ask Q's for every little thing" type, rahter than just looking/learning and doing
Ironically, I don't look like a slob, lol. I am fairly tall, very muscular. I shower once if not twice daily. I am a clean freak and hygiene would be my strength rather than weakness. I used to have bad posture but now I have excellent posture. I am very consistent with gym trainings. A lot of you guys imagine I'm the dorky type of virgin who stays home and plays world of warcraft all day. I'm quite the opposite. My point is, my looks aren't the problem, but rather the vibes I seem to give off.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
Don't worry someguy24,
Rescue Mission always says that looks is the problem and he assumes that everybody who isn't doing good with women is a nerdy virgin who looks weak.
Incoming personal attack in 3...2....1...
Rescue Mission always says that looks is the problem and he assumes that everybody who isn't doing good with women is a nerdy virgin who looks weak.
Incoming personal attack in 3...2....1...