thelonewolflegend
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ok all good advice but how do I make myself seem different and more fun or what are some good things to seem different or different things to do?
Got a great girl just need a little advice she was complaining the other night.
- Thread starter thelonewolflegend
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Women complain, thats what they do.
Being assertive is expressing what you want, feel & think. If you do this in a domineering way, you will fail. Aggression rarely works like that, especially in a relationship right? But maybe she is being aggressive toward you? It should be a collaboration.
Explain how you feel. Say what you think. Tell her what you want.
"I am happy that you want us to go out more so we can have fun. I think this is a good idea but I also enjoy staying in. If that seems routine or boring, then we can discuss together where we can go to have some fun. I want to be clear about this so that we can both be happy"
Reading between the lines, im getting the impression that she may want ROMANCE. Perhaps discuss 'date night' where you agree a night you can both look forward to in the week, this is a good solution, keeps her happy, keeps you happy.
Being assertive is expressing what you want, feel & think. If you do this in a domineering way, you will fail. Aggression rarely works like that, especially in a relationship right? But maybe she is being aggressive toward you? It should be a collaboration.
Explain how you feel. Say what you think. Tell her what you want.
"I am happy that you want us to go out more so we can have fun. I think this is a good idea but I also enjoy staying in. If that seems routine or boring, then we can discuss together where we can go to have some fun. I want to be clear about this so that we can both be happy"
Reading between the lines, im getting the impression that she may want ROMANCE. Perhaps discuss 'date night' where you agree a night you can both look forward to in the week, this is a good solution, keeps her happy, keeps you happy.
Id dump this girl.
Strike 1, complaining that I want to save money, and then basically telling me how I should spend my money.
Strike 2, calling me cheap is disrespectful.
Strike 3, a relationship takes two. Does she even ever plan anything? If shes whining and expecting me to do everything, than I will just find a more exciting woman to meet me half way. If shes saying she wants to go out more, then she needs to share fun ideas with me...not expect me to know what the fvk she wants to do all the time.
Sounds like she just wants a dude to spend money on her and drag her to fancy dinners and buy gifts. Let her find another guy then.
Strike 1, complaining that I want to save money, and then basically telling me how I should spend my money.
Strike 2, calling me cheap is disrespectful.
Strike 3, a relationship takes two. Does she even ever plan anything? If shes whining and expecting me to do everything, than I will just find a more exciting woman to meet me half way. If shes saying she wants to go out more, then she needs to share fun ideas with me...not expect me to know what the fvk she wants to do all the time.
Sounds like she just wants a dude to spend money on her and drag her to fancy dinners and buy gifts. Let her find another guy then.
thelonewolflegend
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you right about her not planning anything no she doesn't much really I wish she would sometimes.
Listen, women expect men to lead the relationship, she'll make a suggestion here and there, but the majority of the things you two do is determined by you.
You want to make yourself seem more fun? That's the lamest sh!t I've ever heard. How about actually having some fun. Go out on a limb, try some new things, be interesting, and when you meet a girl you like, who is into you, give her a taste of your interesting life, not staying in and going out to eat at chilli's every other week.
But this one sounds like a waste of time anyways, what if you found a discount vacation package, would she complain about that too? Just fvck her like a wh0re, don't even take her out to eat occasionally.
You want to make yourself seem more fun? That's the lamest sh!t I've ever heard. How about actually having some fun. Go out on a limb, try some new things, be interesting, and when you meet a girl you like, who is into you, give her a taste of your interesting life, not staying in and going out to eat at chilli's every other week.
But this one sounds like a waste of time anyways, what if you found a discount vacation package, would she complain about that too? Just fvck her like a wh0re, don't even take her out to eat occasionally.
_sideways_
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Her complaining about a coupon, I would have politely waited for the dinner date to be over in silence. Then I would drop this girl like a bad habit.
Would you tell your parents to not use coupons? I wouldnt tell my friends to not save $2 on our 30 pack of beers because thats 2 more dollars for food.
Dang! This girl must be super duper hot or else since you are currently dating her, it is your job to humble her ass. You would be doing her a favor.
P.s.
"Punctuation and grammar gets ***** wet" lmao...
Would you tell your parents to not use coupons? I wouldnt tell my friends to not save $2 on our 30 pack of beers because thats 2 more dollars for food.
Dang! This girl must be super duper hot or else since you are currently dating her, it is your job to humble her ass. You would be doing her a favor.
P.s.
"Punctuation and grammar gets ***** wet" lmao...
As most have said this girl is not good news. When a woman complains it means she's getting complacent. She feels comfortable in the relationship and isn't worried you drop her, which also means you have't done enough in terms of making yourself less available and keep her off balance.
Also like everyone said who complains about using a coupon? Unless you overtly cheap in some way a woman of quality would not be concerned she'd jsut be happy to spending time with you not worried if you saved 2 dollars. In fact I'd ever say a woman of quality might actually be happy you saved money because you are think of the future.
Also like everyone said who complains about using a coupon? Unless you overtly cheap in some way a woman of quality would not be concerned she'd jsut be happy to spending time with you not worried if you saved 2 dollars. In fact I'd ever say a woman of quality might actually be happy you saved money because you are think of the future.
thelonewolflegend
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ok well how do i do these things then?? examples on being like that so she isnt complacent?
MikeOck
Senior Don Juan
First, stop talking to her about your problems. Never do this. Talk to your guy friends, or family, or go see a therapist. Just never talk to your woman about your problems. I know, it sounds unfair. However, she isn't your mother. She wants to believe that you can handle anything. No, she NEEDS to believe this.thelonewolflegend said:
Your emotional expression and lack of direction has caused her to question your ability to lead her and the fact that she has brought it up to you means she has serious doubts. Part of your role as Man is to lead your woman and her role is to follow. I wouldn't ask her what she wants to do. I wouldn't even give her choices (please don't misinterpret this as me saying to be a d!ck about it). I'd tell her, "Put on something nice tonight because we are going to (*insert place or activity here)." This is not a once and done thing, this is a lifestyle change that will take effort at first but will turn around your relationships with women.
There is a balance as well. Don't find yourself under constant pressure to top your last outing. You shouldn't need to spend a lot of money either. Find things that you both enjoy and lead her through them.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Oh boy...
I am perfectly willing to bet that her complains all stem from ONE thing: You got comfortable.
I am absolutely am sure that her complaining about the coupons, the never going anywhere new, etc, etc, etc... is because she knows you got too comfortable and fell into a routine already.
She's picking fights with you on purpose. I wouldn't doubt that she's getting ready to branch swing either.
What worries me is that she couldn't possibly be MORE direct with you and yet here you are asking us WHAT DO TO. Are you kidding me?
Do you know why she's complaining about the coupon? Because she wants to be romanced every once in a while. I get it, you want to save money. But would it kill you to go to a nice place for a good night out and just get into the romance of things rather than to pull out the quickest 20% little piece of paper you stored away?
She is pretty much giving you a fair chance to snap out of boring. And you aren't taking it. Instead, you are asking us what to do? And that to me spells a LOT more trouble than whatever trouble she is giving you. If you need to be told what your options are other than just having dinner... than you are in for a world of hurt. There are so many things cheaper than dinner as well that I am sure she would love to have as options. You aren't giving those to her.
Everything is right there in front of you.
Sometimes we try to find the hidden meaning in everything women say when this one is giving it to you in plain sight.
I think the men are jumping all over the coupon thing based on what YOU said, but I also bet there is more to that story as well. Are you always taking her to a Fridays on Saturday nights and using a Get one entrée free when you buy another?
I just think there is more than you are telling us based on the fact that you don't even know what your options are to keep yourself interesting to her. From what you've laid out so far, you sound pretty boring and uninteresting. You can't even figure out options other than Saturday night dinner. I'd be unhappy being in a scheduled relationship myself...
I am perfectly willing to bet that her complains all stem from ONE thing: You got comfortable.
I am absolutely am sure that her complaining about the coupons, the never going anywhere new, etc, etc, etc... is because she knows you got too comfortable and fell into a routine already.
She's picking fights with you on purpose. I wouldn't doubt that she's getting ready to branch swing either.
What worries me is that she couldn't possibly be MORE direct with you and yet here you are asking us WHAT DO TO. Are you kidding me?
Do you know why she's complaining about the coupon? Because she wants to be romanced every once in a while. I get it, you want to save money. But would it kill you to go to a nice place for a good night out and just get into the romance of things rather than to pull out the quickest 20% little piece of paper you stored away?
She is pretty much giving you a fair chance to snap out of boring. And you aren't taking it. Instead, you are asking us what to do? And that to me spells a LOT more trouble than whatever trouble she is giving you. If you need to be told what your options are other than just having dinner... than you are in for a world of hurt. There are so many things cheaper than dinner as well that I am sure she would love to have as options. You aren't giving those to her.
Everything is right there in front of you.
Sometimes we try to find the hidden meaning in everything women say when this one is giving it to you in plain sight.
I think the men are jumping all over the coupon thing based on what YOU said, but I also bet there is more to that story as well. Are you always taking her to a Fridays on Saturday nights and using a Get one entrée free when you buy another?
I just think there is more than you are telling us based on the fact that you don't even know what your options are to keep yourself interesting to her. From what you've laid out so far, you sound pretty boring and uninteresting. You can't even figure out options other than Saturday night dinner. I'd be unhappy being in a scheduled relationship myself...
thelonewolflegend
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ok well how do I fix this then? plan nice dinner and fun things what else?
thelonewolflegend
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bump she updated her pof profile the other night I know shes on there.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Game.thelonewolflegend said:
Over.
You've already lost her.
She's begun the branch swing process.
thelonewolflegend
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Why the hell would she do this ****
Because she thinks she can do better. Once she realizes she can't or the next guy doesn't compare to you, your job is to ignore her or politely dismiss her as a romantic interest.thelonewolflegend said:
I've learned the very hard way that anything less than the above is a recipe for disaster.
so... hmmm.. dating a girl from pof do you?....
well I my opnion woman will complain of something, be it her work or someone she knows, woman will complain, her complaining about doing something else and go out more, is her need to be seen, in any case don't consider much what she complains about
and if you the only one to pay for everything, guess she wanted you to spend more, so you take the pick, if both share the bill maybe she wanted to spend more time, if only you paid then she was leaching from you
the new update is she looking for someone or more willing to spend more money on her or having a new plate, but you can take your guess you will be lost pretty soon.
if what you said is true about having more options around better you start to make use of then
well I my opnion woman will complain of something, be it her work or someone she knows, woman will complain, her complaining about doing something else and go out more, is her need to be seen, in any case don't consider much what she complains about
and if you the only one to pay for everything, guess she wanted you to spend more, so you take the pick, if both share the bill maybe she wanted to spend more time, if only you paid then she was leaching from you
the new update is she looking for someone or more willing to spend more money on her or having a new plate, but you can take your guess you will be lost pretty soon.
if what you said is true about having more options around better you start to make use of then
Game over man game over game over!thelonewolflegend said:
Women typically go one of two ways when they are moving on. They either get distant or they complain. They can do both of course but usually they either fall into one or the other categories.
The thing here to note is that you don't want your women to complain and if she does it means you need to be pulling the rip cord.
Women don't normally come out and say to you hey you're pissing me off when you do x or you're not leading etc becuase they can't handle confrontation too well. They try to beat you to death with hints.
In this she wasn't complaining becuase she wanted you to do something but rather she was dropping hints she was done with the relationship.
The only saving grace would have been to eject first and that wouldn't save the relationship it would jsut keep you from not staying in a doomed relationship.
A woman who respects you and loves you wouldn't dare doing anything to chase you away because she's petrified of losing you.
This doesn't mean she won't voice her opinion but she wouldn't sit there dishing complaints and being useless because a high quality man has no time for uselessness and complaining because there are so many women who he can enjoy and not be bothered by.
Dgwizdal
Master Don Juan
Dude are you going to come here and fill the forum up with question after question or are you going to man up and take some initiative for yourself. Stop wasting everyone's time with this play by play elementary bs and do some research for yourself.
Short answer to your 5 questions a day - She is not interested in you because you are a pandering beta faggot and will continue to be one until you take some of this sh*t to the bank and start internalizing WHY instead of asking HOW all the f*ckin time.
You have been here five months and have learned nothing about how women work. The other day you posted in the forum: "A Durr How do tell a girl you want get in relationship with her"
YOU ARE A COMPLETE ILLITERATE AFC AND I'M SICK OF YOUR SH!TTY REDUNDANT QUESTIONS THAT YOU NEED EXAMPLES AS ANSWERS FOR.
DJ Bible, Bradd80's guide, weapons of mass seduction. DO IT. NOW. YOU WILL HAVE ALL ANSWERS TO YOUR BASIC @SS QUESTIONS BY UNDERSTANDING HOW WOMEN THINK AND HOW A MAN ACTS. THEN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ATLEAST HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION WITH THE GUYS ON HERE.
Short answer to your 5 questions a day - She is not interested in you because you are a pandering beta faggot and will continue to be one until you take some of this sh*t to the bank and start internalizing WHY instead of asking HOW all the f*ckin time.
You have been here five months and have learned nothing about how women work. The other day you posted in the forum: "A Durr How do tell a girl you want get in relationship with her"
YOU ARE A COMPLETE ILLITERATE AFC AND I'M SICK OF YOUR SH!TTY REDUNDANT QUESTIONS THAT YOU NEED EXAMPLES AS ANSWERS FOR.
DJ Bible, Bradd80's guide, weapons of mass seduction. DO IT. NOW. YOU WILL HAVE ALL ANSWERS TO YOUR BASIC @SS QUESTIONS BY UNDERSTANDING HOW WOMEN THINK AND HOW A MAN ACTS. THEN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ATLEAST HAVE AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION WITH THE GUYS ON HERE.
This guy is clueless. he is not going to listen to any one of you because he needs to fail and fail and fail more to be able to learn.
there are no magic formulas and there are no shortcuts.
this girl is gone. you are need to consider putting more work to improve and get more experiences because you are just a pvssy now because you can't even walk away from one girl. read that again.
there are no magic formulas and there are no shortcuts.
this girl is gone. you are need to consider putting more work to improve and get more experiences because you are just a pvssy now because you can't even walk away from one girl. read that again.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Huh? Why would she do this?thelonewolflegend said:
She GAVE you ALL the reasons she would do this. This forum is full of reasons, and this thread is full of examples of WHY she would do this.
This is one of those cases where it couldn't be any MORE obvious what you did absolutely wrong.
She's doing it because she's looking to be with a man, not a child. She TOLD you that she wants to be romanticized, taken out, wants to do different things, and yet you sit here asking: What should I do? What does she mean? What does she want? Why is she doing this?
You go to dinner every Saturday and you've been together... 20 years, right? Oh, wait... only a few months? Congratulations, you're the most boring boyfriend in the world and THAT is why she is looking for a new man. Because in less than a year, you've established a routine of being comfortable... and guess what, that's exactly what she doesn't want. The fact that she updated her POF profile and that you were on there checking... speaks VOLUMES.
You want to avoid heartache? Dump her now. Save yourself the months of embarrassment, anguish, and agony and start working on yourself. Because brother, let me tell you... you have a LOT of work to do.
When she was complaining about the coupon, about doing something different, getting on POF... she wasn't complaining about the specific situation, she was complaining about YOU. But all of this flew over your head and it still does. You're here trying to find the hidden meaning in every thing she says and does when it couldn't be MORE obvious.
You'd probably look at a Stop sign and ask us what it means and why is it red and why is it shaped that way? Dude, it says STOP. That's the purpose, for you to stop doing exactly what you are doing.
Apply this to your life, stop being comfortable. You obviously managed to snag her in somehow, but as soon as you did... you decided to become the Least Interesting Man in the World. You got some work cut out for you.
