Good sex, disrespectful wife and child

[Aralius]

The only answer and the one that should have happened before you even got to a relationship stage with her is to walk away.

I know. I lose some sleep over this some nights.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I've actually thought about it, as she sometimes said to take the kid and go live with my mother, cause she's the one who wants us to divorce.

There, problem solved!

Thats a gift from god, take the kid and get the fvck out of there. No 50/50 you dont want her in your life and neither in your kids life! 100%! Work something out with your mother to take care of the kid.

I am 6'5", 90 kg, not ugly, fit, workout for almost 6 year about 3 times a week, 13-14% BF, have a job, income not so great (male nurse in Romania) , 2 motorcycles, play guitar in my free time, I get IOIʼs from women very often but have never took advantage because of low self esteem and anxiety.
I would rate myself a 7 or 8-9(if I had game and a better paying job).

That doesnt sound to bad..... you can earn decent money if you move. They are desperately looking for nurses in other parts of Europe.
Is your mother retired? Maybe she can move with you?

I know these are big steps but its what i would do in your place.

Her family helped me out a lot when I was struggling with a job so I have this guilt hanging over my head if I take the next step (divorce).

Feeling guilty is for victims! Stop being the nice guy! Think about your kid and what that biatch would do to his future!



*

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've actually thought about it, as she sometimes said to take the kid and go live with my mother, cause she's the one who wants us to divorce. I don't think I'll be able to take care of him all by myself. Maybe 50/50.

I may seem naive, but I really don't see her as a monkeybrancher. Just very anxios and BPD type.

I hooked up with her because of same taste in music and because we had a lot of sex.

I am 6'5", 90 kg, not ugly, fit, workout for almost 6 year about 3 times a week, 13-14% BF, have a job, income not so great (male nurse in Romania) , 2 motorcycles, play guitar in my free time, I get IOIʼs from women very often but have never took advantage because of low self esteem and anxiety.
I would rate myself a 7 or 8-9(if I had game and a better paying job).
I would rate her as a 5-6.
This right here is the mind**** and frustration. I know I can do better, without having to constantly deal with her BS.

Dread game combined with Sex God Method really helped for having more sex in the marriage. But what I thought were **** tests seem like they are really her being BPD/anxious all the time. It's tiring to always be on my toes to know how to respond. STFU worked best.

Her family helped me out a lot when I was struggling with a job so I have this guilt hanging over my head if I take the next step (divorce).

None of those stats matter until you start respecting yourself and teaching people how to treat you properly by your actions when they don't.

 

[Gamisch]

I live in the house her father bought for her/us, after we had the baby.
I walked away for 2 days right after Christmas dinner, when I had just goten into RP and over deleting thoughts. The kid was acting up and she said she can't wait for him to grow up and be suicidal. I went to my hometown, 150 miles from work. It wasn't an opțional because the commute was too long.
After 3 months I did it again, for a week, after she called me a peasant and that I was a plot person (pauper) before I met her.

I know what me coming back home means. I ****ed up.

Reason I stay in this marriage is because I am afraid my child will grow up with different kind of problems. My dad did time for 5 years and even though he came back in the family he still worked away from home, along with my mom and I kind of try to not make my son go through the same thing in his youth. It's like I'm trying to be a better dad than mine was and take **** from wife just for the sake of my son not growing up with father away/parents separated.

Yes it is. He’s better off as a father and a man doing things the right way 50% of the time then having it wrong all the time. Being deluded that this behavior is going to stop, that she has respect for him, and that their kids are going to do well in an environment like that, is NOT the solution.

I answer your post with another's members post.

Ive made this mistake too. Thinking if I'd stay i would have some form of influence on my child . But a messed up version of yourself = a messed up situation in general.

You are better off being that silent force providing from afar. Life is short bro.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I've actually thought about it, as she sometimes said to take the kid and go live with my mother, cause she's the one who wants us to divorce. I don't think I'll be able to take care of him all by myself. Maybe 50/50.

I may seem naive, but I really don't see her as a monkeybrancher. Just very anxios and BPD type.

I hooked up with her because of same taste in music and because we had a lot of sex.

I am 6'5", 90 kg, not ugly, fit, workout for almost 6 year about 3 times a week, 13-14% BF, have a job, income not so great (male nurse in Romania) , 2 motorcycles, play guitar in my free time, I get IOIʼs from women very often but have never took advantage because of low self esteem and anxiety.
I would rate myself a 7 or 8-9(if I had game and a better paying job).
I would rate her as a 5-6.
This right here is the mind**** and frustration. I know I can do better, without having to constantly deal with her BS.

Dread game combined with Sex God Method really helped for having more sex in the marriage. But what I thought were **** tests seem like they are really her being BPD/anxious all the time. It's tiring to always be on my toes to know how to respond. STFU worked best.

Her family helped me out a lot when I was struggling with a job so I have this guilt hanging over my head if I take the next step (divorce).

You should be hitting that eject button faster than a fighter jet pilot after missile lock detection. You are in Romania, where hot women are abundant and easy to get (if Andrew Tate can get laid in Romania, so can anyone). It doesn't sound like you've got much in the way of assets or income, so you don't have to worry about the financial implications of divorce. And your kid is already kind of messed up (sorry, but that's the truth), so you don't have to worry about negative impact on him. In fact, it will probably be good for him to live away from his crazy mom. What, exactly, do you have to lose?

 

[Aralius]

The only answer and the one that should have happened before you even got to a relationship stage with her is to walk away.

She was my first...

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I would consider family or couple therapy. Disrespect, especially in the form of verbal abuse (worse physical) should be addressed and stopped in its tracks ASAP.

Kid or not, married or not, your mental health and masculine integrity are more important. Take care of it cause no one else will. Do whatever you have to do to address it.

Worse comes to worst, record all the verbal and psychological abuse for you to take to court.

Lastly, your kid is being raised to disrespect the father figure. Big, BIG, BIIIIIGGGGG NO NO. Show him that as a man disrespect is NOT allowed and that YOU as the father stood up for yourself.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Im surprised OP even thinks that he's doing alright. How could u think u have good frame if ur wife even dares talk to u like that? Where's ur dignity and authority?

 

[Aralius]

Im surprised OP even thinks that he's doing alright. How could u think u have good frame if ur wife even dares talk to u like that? Where's ur dignity and authority?

I have been like this since kindergarden. Teacher told my mother that kids used to pick on me and I didn't fight back. I was just told this a couple of months ago. I guess I was born this way, I don't know. And the last couple of years, when I finally decided to do something about it and stand my ground, I took it over the edge and people think I'm overreacting. Pent up frustrations and anger.
I got a lot of work to do on myself (build my self respect, game etc.) I feel like I was cheated by life, really. It feels like I have to get away from every one and start over.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have been like this since kindergarden. Teacher told my mother that kids used to pick on me and I didn't fight back. I was just told this a couple of months ago. I guess I was born this way, I don't know. And the last couple of years, when I finally decided to do something about it and stand my ground, I took it over the edge and people think I'm overreacting. Pent up frustrations and anger.
I got a lot of work to do on myself (build my self respect, game etc.) I feel like I was cheated by life, really. It feels like I have to get away from every one and start over.

Then take your kid with you and do that. You are not living the life you want, it's pretty clear to see that based on what you are saying, so take control of it and start taking steps in the direction you want it to go.

 

[Aralius]

I forgot to say, I'm 35 yo.

It just happens that I tested walking away today. It's like the 3rd time already these past months.

We'on vacation in Greece. At the terrace, the kid won't eat and asks for going into the water again, so she started calling him am idiot. I told her to stop. I asked him if he wants to eat anything from the menu, he said no. She said she doesn't want to eat anything anymore as well. So I ordered myself some fried shrimp and a lemonade.
Then she called me an ******* for not buying anything for the kid.
That's when I just left the table, her shouting and kid crying after me. A big ****ing scene. They followed me to the hotel room, kid crying, her shouting at him. I felt like **** and good at the same time.
I took my keys, got in my car and drove away, listening to music for an hour. Got myself a pair of glasses în another town drank some coffee and took in the sun, watched families act normal and ****.

She called me 3 times, on my way back I answered and she was oh so nice, got to the terrace, ordered food, kid was almost compliant, she was calm.

She's in day 10 of her cycle and usually horny. She just told me to shower, but I ****ing will not.

I notice people looking at us when she uses bad language, and I just want to shrivel and die.

Anyway, I'm getting close to a good outcome for me. I apreciate all of your answers and I'll keep you up to date if anyone's interested.

 

[Smooth_texter]

I forgot to say, I'm 35 yo.

It just happens that I tested walking away today. It's like the 3rd time already these past months.

We'on vacation in Greece. At the terrace, the kid won't eat and asks for going into the water again, so she started calling him am idiot. I told her to stop. I asked him if he wants to eat anything from the menu, he said no. She said she doesn't want to eat anything anymore as well. So I ordered myself some fried shrimp and a lemonade.
Then she called me an ******* for not buying anything for the kid.
That's when I just left the table, her shouting and kid crying after me. A big ****ing scene. They followed me to the hotel room, kid crying, her shouting at him. I felt like **** and good at the same time.
I took my keys, got in my car and drove away, listening to music for an hour. Got myself a pair of glasses în another town drank some coffee and took in the sun, watched families act normal and ****.

She called me 3 times, on my way back I answered and she was oh so nice, got to the terrace, ordered food, kid was almost compliant, she was calm.

She's in day 10 of her cycle and usually horny. She just told me to shower, but I ****ing will not.

I notice people looking at us when she uses bad language, and I just want to shrivel and die.

Anyway, I'm getting close to a good outcome for me. I apreciate all of your answers and I'll keep you up to date if anyone's interested.

Hello northern neighbour.

I have not read all replies, so apologies if this was already said.

In my opinion, she thinks that you are lacking accomplishments in a major area or areas. By that I mean underperformance compared to your/her family members, peers or mutual friends. Since your intention is to keep the LTR and raise the kid together, you would need to have at least 1-2 MAJOR boosts in the career/income/status departments, ASAP (or at least show that you are on that path).


Currently you are just starting to improve you attitude. However, underneath that attitude you would need confidence, which you are currently lacking (it is not internally based on something). This leads to incongruence, which reduces the effect of your retaliations.


You said you are a male nurse. You would either need to get a better position, or switch industry. A new, significantly higher paying job, would give you more income, and status in her eyes. That, combined with your new attitude has some potential to save your relationship.

P.S. You can change your clothing and hair style. This would leave her wondering whether there is a another woman. Or even better, random women flirting with you in front of her.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

I have been like this since kindergarden. Teacher told my mother that kids used to pick on me and I didn't fight back. I was just told this a couple of months ago. I guess I was born this way, I don't know. And the last couple of years, when I finally decided to do something about it and stand my ground, I took it over the edge and people think I'm overreacting. Pent up frustrations and anger.
I got a lot of work to do on myself (build my self respect, game etc.) I feel like I was cheated by life, really. It feels like I have to get away from every one and start over.

Err on the side of being an a$$hole. Its the only way forward. Act harshly and then apologize later if needed. You will never move forward until u have the balls to make a mistake when it comes to confrontation.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Hello northern neighbour.

I have not read all replies, so apologies if this was already said.

In my opinion, she thinks that you are lacking accomplishments in a major area or areas. By that I mean underperformance compared to your/her family members, peers or mutual friends. Since your intention is to keep the LTR and raise the kid together, you would need to have at least 1-2 MAJOR boosts in the career/income/status departments, ASAP (or at least show that you are on that path).


Currently you are just starting to improve you attitude. However, underneath that attitude you would need confidence, which you are currently lacking (it is not internally based on something). This leads to incongruence, which reduces the effect of your retaliations.


You said you are a male nurse. You would either need to get a better position, or switch industry. A new, significantly higher paying job, would give you more income, and status in her eyes. That, combined with your new attitude has some potential to save your relationship.

P.S. You can change your clothing and hair style. This would leave her wondering whether there is a another woman. Or even better, random women flirting with you in front of her.

I disagree but maybe you're right. Being a male nurse can be a high paying job. If he combines that w bodybuilding and occasionally boxing, he should have more than enough status for this kunt. She sounds like a trash mouthed low status woman herself (with all due respect OP). I would recommend that u read The Way of the Superior Man and tell her to read his book for girls: "its a guy thing" and/or "dear lover". Lead her towards a better framework for relationships. I always make my women read these books in order to brainwash them in a good way towards a more enlightened and conscious framework when it comes to relatisonhips. U need to destroy their old software.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I notice people looking at us when she uses bad language, and I just want to shrivel and die.

Abusive people count on that, you feeling shame for their behaviour.

What you did driving away and spending a few hours by yourself is the right idea. Whenever she pulls the disrespectful ****e, switch off all the attention you give her and give your attention to something / someone else.

 

[anour]

I've dealt with it by being an ******* back at her and it didn't work.
Then I did the second one, partially, because I was so pissed. It didn't take long before she got her mojo back and started acting up again.

Before I got sexlife back on track, I waited for 3 (three) months to see if she initiates but no result. Seems to me like I have to do all the work. She likes it, but I'd like for her to say she wants it once in a while.

I'm still reading NMMNG and figurig stuff out.

I've been through so much ****, that it's hard for me to tell her I love her. Maybe "the thrill is gone".

What is NMMNG?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What is NMMNG?

Just a guess: No More Mr. Nice Guy?

 

[anour]

Just a guess: No More Mr. Nice Guy?

Alot of people have recommended it. I will definitely read that book. Thank you for it, i genuinely didn’t know.

 

[soulforge]

You should be hitting that eject button faster than a fighter jet pilot after missile lock detection. You are in Romania, where hot women are abundant and easy to get (if Andrew Tate can get laid in Romania, so can anyone). It doesn't sound like you've got much in the way of assets or income, so you don't have to worry about the financial implications of divorce. And your kid is already kind of messed up (sorry, but that's the truth), so you don't have to worry about negative impact on him. In fact, it will probably be good for him to live away from his crazy mom. What, exactly, do you have to lose?

Honestly I can't see how he can recover from this. He let this 304 run a train on him from day one.. I would dump her and go find a girl that treats you like a king.

Honestly man, why are you letting a woman treat you like this? They are like fukin children.. They are illogical and depend on us men for there very survival.

Don't let such a weak creature treat you like this. Dump her and find a new woman, new start, and do things better this time.

 

[Westminster]

I forgot to say, I'm 35 yo.

It just happens that I tested walking away today. It's like the 3rd time already these past months.

We'on vacation in Greece. At the terrace, the kid won't eat and asks for going into the water again, so she started calling him am idiot. I told her to stop. I asked him if he wants to eat anything from the menu, he said no. She said she doesn't want to eat anything anymore as well. So I ordered myself some fried shrimp and a lemonade.
Then she called me an ******* for not buying anything for the kid.
That's when I just left the table, her shouting and kid crying after me. A big ****ing scene. They followed me to the hotel room, kid crying, her shouting at him. I felt like **** and good at the same time.
I took my keys, got in my car and drove away, listening to music for an hour. Got myself a pair of glasses în another town drank some coffee and took in the sun, watched families act normal and ****.

She called me 3 times, on my way back I answered and she was oh so nice, got to the terrace, ordered food, kid was almost compliant, she was calm.

She's in day 10 of her cycle and usually horny. She just told me to shower, but I ****ing will not.

I notice people looking at us when she uses bad language, and I just want to shrivel and die.

Anyway, I'm getting close to a good outcome for me. I apreciate all of your answers and I'll keep you up to date if anyone's interested.

This brings back some painful memories for me. My ex-wife (who is as a truly bad person) used to behave like this on holidays, at family gatherings and in front of friends. It's really embarrassing and horrible bullying behaviour, and you've got to be very careful because you'll be the bad guy if you flare up in response. Then you'll be in real trouble if she goes to law (criminal or civil).

It's easy to say 'just leave' but people often don't because life's more complicated than that and you can lose a lot of confidence and vision when you're trapped in an abusive relationship - and that's what it is, abuse.

Either way, I suspect the marriage is doomed. In my experience, women who behave like this don't change whatever you do. Ultimately, the only way is to get out.