Going to meet that cute 49 yr old teacher tonight. How to keep frame?

[biggoal]

next time she sends a selfie, respond with:
"cute smile/outfit, you look delicious"

this conveys that you don't see her as a friend only and is not a needy or pedestal position.

her response will likely be a simple "thank you" and then she goes silent. Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.

If she does not follow up.. Do not respond.

If she does follow up...
respond by asking her out for a drink/coffee on Friday night 6pm (do not offer a movie or dinner)

So, why would a woman send selfies like that? Like at school, or when she was at the beach or at the art show? I mean I wouldn't waste time talking to a girl like that if I wasnt interested in her. Do women get bored and just like to waste men's time and toy with them? I mean you just dont send selfies like that.

Why else would she send them but back out on going on a real date? The first coffee meeting with her friend tagging along I consider more of a pre screen. That why when she sent selfies i escalated and asked her out.

 

[andreihaha]

next time she sends a selfie, respond with:
"cute smile/outfit, you look delicious"

this conveys that you don't see her as a friend only and is not a needy or pedestal position.

her response will likely be a simple "thank you" and then she goes silent. Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.
Do not respond to this.

If she does not follow up.. Do not respond.

If she does follow up...
respond by asking her out for a drink/coffee on Friday night 6pm (do not offer a movie or dinner)

Sounds good.
But for me, it's not polarizing enough.

Here's my approach:
She sends me a selfie.
I don't respond anything. I let her boil in her own juice(because if I'm approaching her she's not a "49 yo cute girl", and she's stil juicy enough. Maybe I got something better to do than drool over a picture. Maybe I'm having sex with someone else, who knows?
Next time I do a workout, before a shower, I send her a picture of me all sweaty, with my hard d1ck in my underwear.
After this, she either bangs me or she's not interested. There is no middle ground, it's simple!
See? Polarizing.
P.S.:I'm pretty sure she'd bang me after that.

 

[biggoal]

Okay so she was feeling like she was coming down with a cold last night so this morning I texted her and asked how she was feeling and said she wqa feeling better and said I'm sweet and thanks for asking and had a blushing smiley face emoji and then sent a selfie of herself sitting at her desk.

So how to proceed now? What does this tell you? Another selfie.

Also just had an hb7 swipe right on me on tinder. What should i say to her? Has a serious look on her face and isnt smiling. The tinder chick that is.

 

[synecdoche]

Meh, here you are, giving her free attention/validation again. She didn't even have to ask for it.

I don't know why you are still asking us advice, you don't follow it anyway. And you ask the same questions 10 times...

 

[Atom Smasher]

@biggoal , I'm going to say something that you will not comprehend fully today, but you will start to understand as the next few years go by.

Your main problem is that you don't have standards. You ask the same questions again and again and again, but you don't take solid, measurable action nor have you developed standards for yourself.

You should think about who you are, what your wants and needs are, and start to develop a life of standards. What so you expect from yourself? What do you expect from friends? From women?

You come across as being like air. Women are air, men are ground. Women are all about "What if? What should I do? How should I feel about xzy?" Instead you need to plant your feet on the ground and stop maintaining your life as one big question mark.

Start thinking in terms of developing standards. You have complained repeatedly about the average age of women where you live. It's time to either reap whatever harvest is there, or decide to move. It's good that you ordered your home gym. You need to research how to use it as a basic, slightly built newbie. Google is your friend.

Everything I just said will mean very little to you today. All I'm doing is exposing you to the idea, just planting a seed. Try to meditate on the phrase, "Women are air, men are ground". The only way to ground yourself is to make decisions and don't look back. Try to identify what your standards are in life. What is the life that you want to live? Is it selling phone cases at the flea market and living around old-timers all your life until you become an old-timer yourself? If that's what you're all about, then go for it. But from what you write here, I suspect you want more than that.

Most of the time, we remain stuck in life because we can't see ourselves making changes, and can't see ourselves maintaining the changes we want to make, so we stay in the safe zone. The most important thing you can do is to define the life you want, and then design that life. It starts with baby steps. Your workout machine is an excellent baby step. I think it's great. Now you need to think about the standards that you want in your life and develop baby steps toward shifting toward that life.

Life favors the bold. It also smacks the bold in the face every once in a while. Life smacks the timid in the face daily.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Yes. Simple concept. Stop looking at the Why. Look at the what. Her actions. Your job is confidence, selfcontrol, Challenge. You have to gauge something tricky called interest level. Comes down to how good you can spot those red flags. Remember ideal woman your looking for not looking at age. Is a called a flexible giver... a little old school but you have have to start somewhere. After 3 months of dating/intereaction you have to decide if you want this to be your girlfriend. Works like that stick around too long you are lingering. Seen relationships where guy is loose "yea" you're living with the girl. Once those 10 years are up she leaves you. You didn't follow the steps she's pulling the divorce card fast. % at any point is under 50 she's moving on. Don't be the guy with LTR fwb. Be the man. You're the gentleman. Not the nice guy or Alpha as so many throw around here

 

[nicksaiz65]

@biggoal , I'm going to say something that you will not comprehend fully today, but you will start to understand as the next few years go by.

Your main problem is that you don't have standards. You ask the same questions again and again and again, but you don't take solid, measurable action nor have you developed standards for yourself.

You should think about who you are, what your wants and needs are, and start to develop a life of standards. What so you expect from yourself? What do you expect from friends? From women?

You come across as being like air. Women are air, men are ground. Women are all about "What if? What should I do? How should I feel about xzy?" Instead you need to plant your feet on the ground and stop maintaining your life as one big question mark.

Start thinking in terms of developing standards. You have complained repeatedly about the average age of women where you live. It's time to either reap whatever harvest is there, or decide to move. It's good that you ordered your home gym. You need to research how to use it as a basic, slightly built newbie. Google is your friend.

Everything I just said will mean very little to you today. All I'm doing is exposing you to the idea, just planting a seed. Try to meditate on the phrase, "Women are air, men are ground". The only way to ground yourself is to make decisions and don't look back. Try to identify what your standards are in life. What is the life that you want to live? Is it selling phone cases at the flea market and living around old-timers all your life until you become an old-timer yourself? If that's what you're all about, then go for it. But from what you write here, I suspect you want more than that.

Most of the time, we remain stuck in life because we can't see ourselves making changes, and can't see ourselves maintaining the changes we want to make, so we stay in the safe zone. The most important thing you can do is to define the life you want, and then design that life. It starts with baby steps. Your workout machine is an excellent baby step. I think it's great. Now you need to think about the standards that you want in your life and develop baby steps toward shifting toward that life.

Life favors the bold. It also smacks the bold in the face every once in a while. Life smacks the timid in the face daily.

Define the life you want, then design it. I really like that. Helps you break free of that victim mentality.

 

[2Rocky]

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's not fair! Why do you have to drive 150 miles to Miami for that? I'm stuck in the oldest area of the state and the hot chicks are 150 miles away. Why does it have to be so hard and long of a drive?

You choose to be stuck there. Move.

 

[MrWood]

You really dont listen to our advice, you are on your own now.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You really dont listen to our advice, you are on your own now.

A week ago, I was on that same page as you. In fact, through a PM, I actually told him as much.
However, in the past week, I've noticed some positive changes in biggoal.
Admittedly, these changes are gradual (and perhaps not as immediate as you or I would make) but he's made more strides in the past week than his past six months on the forum
For instance; He bought a home gym, he went days without texting this 49 year old (yes, that doesn't seem like much to you and me, but for biggoal, that's an indication that he's attempting some changes). Also, unlike the past six months, he's recently quit hi-jacking other threads to focus on his problems.

To biggoals's credit, he doesn't seem to embellish his life in order to 'look cool' with fellow forum members. I'd wager that half the (so-called) 'successful' members here are hardly anything close to a success (present company excluded MrWood; as I believe that you are legit).
Anyway... as long as biggoal is keeping it real and appears to be putting some advice to practice (even if it's small amounts) I'm going to hang in there. You seem to be one of the few that has invested more time in offering him genuine and sage advice here and I hope you might reconsider your recent stance.

 

[EyeBRollin]

@biggoal ,

We’re trying to help you. I think people here can tell you’re a decent guy and we all know someone who has been in a similar rut. Take command of your life. You can do better than a 49 year old broad

 

[biggoal]

@biggoal ,

We’re trying to help you. I think people here can tell you’re a decent guy and we all know someone who has been in a similar rut. Take command of your life. You can do better than a 49 year old broad

I agree but it's tough. Old around here is all I have and as I said within a 60 mile radius most of the chicks on old who are decent are ones 40 and above. Even on tinder not a ton of them and not certainly within 20 miles. I made a new tinder account and paid for gold and seem to get more matches but most of the women I see while swiping are just plain nasty looking. Ones 40 and above better looking.

Even on a top tier site like match within 50 miles most of the decent looking chicks are at least 40.

A few hot ones under 35 not many but they get the super chad competing because so so few around here.

A hot 40 plus year old is better than a 30 year old land whale. If I lived like in southeast florida I would not be chasing lost wall due to more younger peoole people.

So where can I meet pre wall then because I don't see many single ones around here.

This 49 year old is better looking than most pre wall around here.

 

[MrWood]

We were simply trying to guide him, yes he has improved.

In this instance we tried to guide him to get his frame back, and a shot at her in the most confident way... a lesson in how this works.

He SHOULD have went NC until she contacted him FIRST, this was the most basic. (step 1)
(step 2 - advanced [response]) was optional but recommended. Had @biggoal followed this, he could see how this plays out in motion, because it works.

I used to be alot like BG and now I see why I had low success in many situations. SoSuave opened my eyes to basic human/interaction with situations and basic womens nature and behavior. The basic advice here works, it works good. Why do you think my text, young ladys and kino game are so strong? From SoSuave and a little NLP + body language.

This is advice for all guys and I follow this style as well, why?

Because it works.


The missing pieces were put into the puzzle. We cant walk and hold hands with everybody here, but we tried to guide where to go, what to do... because it works.

 

[zinc4]

Biggoal....just been reading ur stuff man.....you have invested a lot of energy and time on this used up woman...she might be hot for her age but look man just get to the point and send a picture of you shirtless with a hard on....she will probably just ignore u at this point but who cares you got to learn to be more aggressive imo....then just delete her if no response in one day and move on to the next one....normally I never send such pics myself but you screwed up your chances to get sexual on your dates honestly and now are just wasting time on this woman.

 

[biggoal]

Biggoal....just been reading ur stuff man.....you have invested a lot of energy and time on this used up woman...she might be hot for her age but look man just get to the point and send a picture of you shirtless with a hard on....she will probably just ignore u at this point but who cares you got to learn to be more aggressive imo....then just delete her if no response in one day and move on to the next one....normally I never send such pics myself but you screwed up your chances to get sexual on your dates honestly and now are just wasting time on this woman.

Then why does she sent cute selfies to me then?

 

[zinc4]

F

Then why does she sent cute selfies to me then?

For attention man....make a bold move or just stop talking to her. You are beating around the bush too much imo.

 

[MrWood]

Then why does she sent cute selfies to me then?

1. maybe she is wanting your sexual attention, but you arent responding (in the right manner)
2. maybe she likes having a male "friend" (but secretly desires you will "step up")
3. she is a woman (insert any excuse/reason)
4. she thinks you are cute, and does not want a "relationship" (you gave/give her relationship type vibes) with a younger guy.
5. simple male attention/validation

you have a few choices:
a. play along, stay frustrated (stay friend-zoned)
b. step up, sexualize the interaction (escape the friend-zone at the expense of being forever in the friend-zone or [item c.])
c. move along

 

[biggoal]

Texted a bit today. So tonight she has a date, guy a couple years older. Her daughter joked how these dates never turn into anything whenever she goes on dates. She told me her dates are usually a couple years older than her. I turned around and told her maybe she should try a younger guy sometime and see how that goes (hint me) and she sent a smiley face back.

Why is it these women 40 and above on their OLD profiles look for guys much older? Like for example a 40 year old woman will list like ages 43 to 50. This teacher is looking for someone up to 62 years old despite being 49.

Why don't these older women want a younger guy? I mean, we have more STAMINA as Trump puts it! Remember that quote during the debates with Hillary and her age when Trump said that. She's looking for these older men but I have a lot more energy. Doesn't make sense.

So help me out here. What can I do? if this is another typical lousy OLD she's on how can I counter it and get her on a date so she can try a guy 14 years younger?

At this point should I just go for broke and say something over the top suggestive and see if it works? I told her about the date with a younger woman I might have next weekend I'm talking to. Maybe if she has a bad date tonight she will try and snatch me up worried I might get taken.

 

[zinc4]

You really should just delete this waste of time woman man

But since I know u won't ...do this:

Tell her good luck on her date and tell her that you are glad she has finally met someone she has the right chemistry with that it's hard to find blah blah.

Then go no contact wait for her to message u after her date then angle her out for one more date maybe something non threatening like coffee in the park but somewhere u can walk around...got to get her out in person.

Then when u do just start escalating kino and be aggressive go for kiss aggressively until she outright says no. Then just delete her if no success.

Just get the ***** on a date and throw the kitchen sink at her man.

Stop wasting all your time on this one indecisive woman.