going to a club by yourself

[john_1234]

my close friends aren't down to go to clubs/bars because they are all in relationships. only once in a blue moon my friends and i will get together for a club. before i was really self-conscious to even think about going to a club by myself; despite that, i started going to clubs/bars by myself.
when i'm by myself, i chat it up w/ everyone: guys, gals, & bartenders. i'm practicing conversations and at the same time hitting up girls.
while chatting w/ girls, some would ask, "who are you here with?" my response is always, "i'm here by myself." i practice body language and voice; and although i say this in a direct, "don't give a ****" manner w/ no excuses, i can read the expression on girls' faces when i tell them this, and it's not positive.
at first, i figured girls would appreciate a man who doesn't care and has the balls to go to a club/bar by himself. after all, groups of two or more usually flock to these scenes. but now i realize girls get weirded out by guys who go to clubs by themselves.
maybe i shouldn't go to clubs alone anymore? no, that's not an option because i won't progress sitting on my ass at home. there has to be some ways around this. what are your thoughts/experiences?

 

[DJ_in_making]

No no no

It won't feel right at all going alone...
I don't quite know how to explain it, but everyone at the club is with someone else, going alone gives that loner feeling. Like your some type of serial killer.

 

[diablo]

You know, there's a funny thing that one can do called "lying". If I go out alone and someone asks, I'll just say that I left my friends at the last club we were at... or just make up some drama. Girls love drama, so you've got the dual opportunity of increasing social worth (which you can't do if you simply say that you're there alone) and building interest.

Moral of the story? Lie.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by diablo
You know, there's a funny thing that one can do called "lying". If I go out alone and someone asks, I'll just say that I left my friends at the last club we were at... or just make up some drama. Girls love drama, so you've got the dual opportunity of increasing social worth (which you can't do if you simply say that you're there alone) and building interest.

Moral of the story? Lie.

See now, THAT is the information I've been egging some of you guys on for!

Diablo, I hope you can tell when somebody quotes you and asks for a serious question that doesn't call for a PM...

Where do I find lessons like the one you just taught? So far all the teachings I come across are mostly filtered through the mind of an rAFC...

 

[crossboss]

I think that the chicks think you are a loser.

When you admit to them that you are by yourself, you look like you have no friends.

 

[john_1234]

Originally posted by diablo
You know, there's a funny thing that one can do called "lying". If I go out alone and someone asks, I'll just say that I left my friends at the last club we were at... or just make up some drama. Girls love drama, so you've got the dual opportunity of increasing social worth (which you can't do if you simply say that you're there alone) and building interest.

Moral of the story? Lie.

i must be a dumb ass. simple, yet over-looked. diablo, that is some sweet advice... especially the part about killing two birds w/ one stone w/ the made up drama. my hat's off to you.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Re: I think that the chicks think you are a loser.

Originally posted by crossboss
When you admit to them that you are by yourself, you look like you have no friends.

"*memo to self* extrapolate this AFC concept"

The hell do you believe that for fool?

 

[crossboss]

I know from what I read.

Quote:

"*memo to self* extrapolate this AFC concept"

The hell do you believe that for fool?


I got this concept from reading, what other people have thought.

 

[crossboss]

So what's you're explaination?

Einstien. What's your theory?

 

[JPFromTally]

Two best options in this situation:

1) "They're just hanging out over there" (point to a general direction and change the topic).

2) "I'm from out of town on business."

 

[everywomanshero]

Funny

I never have these problems.

I just say, "o they are around somewhere, we just meet up somewhere and kind of mingle". You can also deflate it by using it in your false time constraint, "I only have a minute, I have to get back to my friends".

DO NOT STAND AROUND DOING NOTHING,not even for a short time. You should be in your first set almost immediatly. If you must linger at the bar, and I've made out with chics doing this so it's not fair to say it never works, then I'd still approach several sets first.

I think the main problem here is an internal one. You think it's weird to be there alone, and your body language/vibe is what's creeping the chicks out.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Re: Funny

Originally posted by everywomanshero
I never have these problems.

I just say, "o they are around somewhere, we just meet up somewhere and kind of mingle". You can also deflate it by using it in your false time constraint, "I only have a minute, I have to get back to my friends".

DO NOT STAND AROUND DOING NOTHING,not even for a short time. You should be in your first set almost immediatly. If you must linger at the bar, and I've made out with chics doing this so it's not fair to say it never works, then I'd still approach several sets first.

I think the main problem here is an internal one. You think it's weird to be there alone, and your body language/vibe is what's creeping the chicks out.

Man I can't ever remember if you are JC or the tool...

What's up with having to lie to a woman? False time constraints wshould have a semblance of reality. and progressively more and more reality until it becomes REAL. For now I guess since you are new to the game, you can use these lies to crete reality. Just make sure you incorporate them in reality, so when she comes back and talks to you again, you can remember the "lie" you told her.

"When you admit to them that you are by yourself, you look like you have no friends"

No, thinking that and having the look on your face that you have to think of something shows you might not having any friends. Friends don't have to lie. They can, and at times they should if they want to remain friends under false pretenses, but it's still lying. Tell them the truth, if they don't like truth, tell them they can't HANDLE the truth.

You go to a club alone, they're not going to ask you where your friends are. If they do, tell them you haven't made many new friends yet tonight, but they could introduce you to theirs. There are so many possibilities to make new friends out tehre its insulting to your family NOT to have one.

Tell three of your friends your going out somewhere. If they say they're coming, assume they MIGHT be coming, there are always possible family, school, work, or other problems that may come up.

When you get to the club or whatever, you go in as your own man. Your friends will find you if they are desperate enough. I just believe that they will conveniently bump into me sometime during the night, and they usually do if they expect me to be there.

It's simple, why worry?

 

[MindOverMatter]

It's simple. If you go to clubs on a regular basis, within 3-4 months you will know almost all the regulars, players, club sl*ts, and so on. When I first started clubbing, I'd go out at least 5 nights a week, sometimes 7. I did this for the first 7-8 months and during that time I got to know so many people that I basically didn't NEED to bring anyone with me to a club, I could just show up and meet up with a crowd of friends.

Club hardcore with friends at first and get to know a ****load of peeps, then move on to solo clubbing once you're connected.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Hell no don't do it to yourself.The more people you go with the better.Social proof & appearances is everything at the club.

 

[MightyMate]

To go alone sucks.
If You areally have no friend first go alone to meet friends - guys. While You got friends to go to club, then chase woman.

 

[everywomanshero]

Going alone

Going alone isn't as big of a deal as you might think. No one ever knows I am there alone, because I enter as set as soon as I enter the room. Everyone there assumes I am with these people. I usually make out with at least one chic during the evening when I go out alone. It isn't hard. If it's hard for you, then you have an internal problem that you don't believe it's possible, so for you it isn't possible then.

When I go out with friends, I still approach many sets alone. It makes no difference that my friends are there. I spend 90% of the time in sets, occasionally merging sets., not standing around talking to guys.

I'm no one special, and I can consistently make this work. Most guys are very lame, so there isn't really as much competition out there as everyone believes. Guys charge in cutting her off from her friends, pecking, and doing every stupid-ass thing in the world to get blown out. Most times, I just stand back and the guys destroy themselves. That's how bad most guys are at this game.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of ego in the seduction world. There is a lot of guys talking all kinds of crap that stand absolutely no chance of ever getting laid by hot chicks. These guys, on the rare occasion they leave their keyboard, want to sit around and drink all night and talk "game". I'm really not a talker, I believe everything must be tested. If you're hanging around those sort of "harness my chee, karate types" trust me on this, you are FAR better off going out alone. They periodically try to join our group, and we always fail to invite them back. They are all the same, the young guy who is too scared or the old guy that wants to baffle us with bs and talk about all the legends he has met. They are both worthless and will only set you further back from the goal of being a cool guy. Do you want to hang out with guys who mask their insecurity to avoid being seen failing with women, guys who stand around and talk to other guys? Or do you want to be out with guys are with women 90% of the time and only occasionally go back to their male friends and have a laugh.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Awesome man. What part of the country are you located in? It sounds like you are doing some variation of social circle sarging or small town sarging. Also, how did you come upon this strategy? Trial and error? Nothing like this is really recommended in the DJ Bible, based upon my recollection.

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
It's simple. If you go to clubs on a regular basis, within 3-4 months you will know almost all the regulars, players, club sl*ts, and so on. When I first started clubbing, I'd go out at least 5 nights a week, sometimes 7. I did this for the first 7-8 months and during that time I got to know so many people that I basically didn't NEED to bring anyone with me to a club, I could just show up and meet up with a crowd of friends.

Club hardcore with friends at first and get to know a ****load of peeps, then move on to solo clubbing once you're connected.

 

[Marlimus]

Mystery honed his skills initially, after hundreds of rejections, by taking the bus into downtown Toronto BY HIMSELF for years and sarging, until he built the Mystery Method piece by piece, which is why he strongly advocates solo sarging. He says it takes a true badass to go out there alone to face the firing squad and rasie hell.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

When I go out with friends, I still approach many sets alone. It makes no difference that my friends are there. I spend 90% of the time in sets, occasionally merging sets., not standing around talking to guys.

The same hasn't worked for me. I always go out alone, and am always 'that guy'. The one who approaches randomly and really doesn't have a home base of support to draw from. I'm certain girls notice this and compare notes.

 

[john_1234]

I agree with Everywomanshero. When I'm at a club with a bunch of friends, I always depart ways and hit up girls by myself anyway. But it does add value though when girls see me with my big group of friends.
Ol'BlueEyes, if you're at a club during opening hours, people will notice you are by yourself. So start hitting up the club during peak hours when it's shoulder to shoulder. No one would be able to tell you're alone when it's packed like sardines. But if you are at a club and it's not that packed, start chatting it up with ANYONE (guys, gals, ugly, pretty, etc.) doesn't matter who it is. People are usually cool and receptive from my experiences. I've chilled with strangers for extended periods at times.