Going Steady

[Señor Fingers]

"There are no good woman left!"

"I can't believe she did this to me!"

"Why do I attract these crazy hoes?"

Sound familiar? Do you find yourself in the overwhelming majority of fellows who are lonely or in terribly dysfunctional relationships with psycho-sluts who make their lives miserable? Are you tired of gaming superficial women with no substance and long for something deeper? I know I sure was.

Don't get me wrong..I don't regret my promiscuity at all. The experience gave me a clearer idea of seduction and how to get what I wanted out of life. Over time, my desires began to change. Maybe I'm just getting older and settling down, but I got tired of random one night stands and juggling multiple fukk buddies. I got better things to do with my time.

In the end these relationships were all stepping stones to finding a good woman that I could build a future with. It is not an easy path and there are several phases which I believe we must go through before we are actually prepared to take this step.

Phase 1: Being ready for love.
Phase 2: Seducing the right woman.
Phase 3: Maintaining a healthy and exciting relationship.

There is much ground to cover here, so let's just dive in.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Phase 1: READY FOR LOVE

Before you even think of settling down with someone, there's a few things you should have sorted out:

Walk Your Path
Don't count on a woman to give your life meaning. Do some deep soul searching and really ask yourself what you want out of life and how you plan on getting it. Only by walking this path will you find someone who will inspire and push you towards greatness. Here are some questions you should be asking yourself

- If I could have any job I wanted, what would it be?
- If I had all the money I needed, what would I do with my free time?
- If I could travel anywhere in the world, where would I go?
- If I had the power, how would I make the world a better place?

Life is too short not to pursue your dreams and see the world, so get your priorities straight!

Live Alone
I'm not saying that you can't go straight from you parent's house into moving in with your lover. Plenty of people have done it. But it's a lot more healthy and fun to have a genuine bachelor's phase under your belt first. Start out by getting some roommates so you can split the cost up, but set a real goal to one day live on your own.

There is nothing like having your own crib, yall. It really was a highpoint of my youth to have a place where I could do whatever I wanted: walk around nekkid, throw a party or invite a fly cutie back to my place. Man it felt good to say that... "Let's go to MY place"

Another great side effect of this is that it will help you to

Gain Independence
Get to know what it's like to pay rent, bills and maintain a household as an adult. Sure it's a pain and you'll often find yourself working very hard to keep yourself afloat, but this is a great step towards manhood and independence. Mom & Pop can't hold your hand forever, and to expect this of a potential love interest is foolish and immature.

Learn to cover your own ass and be self-sufficient. It's the best gift you can give yourself.

Stay Crispy and Clean
It's normal to experience a "frat stage" of youth. No one is on top of you to keep your room clean and most fellas tend to go buck wild. This is fine, but at some point you have to grow up.

Your surroundings are a reflection of your mind state and say a lot more about you than you'd like to admit. If you are a messy person, then you need to work on this right away. You will experience a whole other level of mental clarity when you live in a harmonious environment.

The simple rule to follow is this: Whenever you are done using something, clean up right at that moment. It's so much easier to maintain cleanliness than to do disaster recovery! Some examples:

- You just woke up. Make your bed right then and there
- You just had dinner. Wash the dishes while they are easy to clean
- You just stripped and showered. Put your clothes in the hamper
- The hamper is getting full. Wash your clothes
- The clothes are clean and dry Fold and put them away
- The bathroom is smelling funky. Scrub that sucker at least once every 2 weeks
- Most importantly make sure everything in your house has its place. You will never lose your keys again!

This is all common sense, but you'd be surprised how many people resist it, and make excuses like teenagers. As a man you need to grow out of this because an orderly environment is crucial in helping you stay focused and organized so you can handle your business.

Women will appreciate your cleanliness as well. Their worst nightmare is to become the nagging mother. One of the biggest turn-offs is the feeling that you have to be on top of someone constantly in order to get them to do basic sh!t..it creates a dysfunctional dynamic which is not fun for either of you.

NOTE: It is not common, but some women are bigger slobs than men. This is a RED FLAG! It is not normal for a gal to live in her own filth..the b!tch has issues! It's not a deal-breaker but it should set off warning sirens in your head. Either break her in to a healthier lifestyle, or next her!

Be a Wh0re
I don't care what anyone says, this is a must for all males. We have an innate leaning towards promiscuity and if we never scratch that itch, our lives will be filled with regret and what-ifs. Some guys find that the playboy lifestyle is not for them and others never want to leave it. I can't judge either because at least these gentlemen have tasted life and decided for themselves if they liked the flavor.

If you have screwed a couple of different chicks, this does not count. You must reach a stage where hooking up does not require intellectual effort and seduction comes naturally. This way when you are ready to find a keeper, you will be well equipped for the job.

Another side benefit is that your experiences with all these women will teach you a great deal about your own expectations from a relationship. Dealing with so many trifling b!tches will make you recognize and appreciate the presence of a true lady.

Note: A man with solid game does not need to cheat! You can juggle multiple women, but to mislead and engage in deception is a waste of your energy. Trust me..it's just not worth it! Be as straightforward as possible from the start and establish expectations so your game is tight and no one gets betrayed.

Be a Monk
We all go through periods of self-reflection at some point. It's hard to stay on track with your life's goals with so many women distracting you. It is healthy to retreat from the game once in a while to gather your wits and collect your thoughts.

Chicks are not everything in life, so beware the trap of serial monogamy! One rebound relationship after another will make you lose sight of yourself and in these crucial years when you are supposed to define your character, you will be tied down by your fear of solitude.

It is okay to be alone. In fact I recommend it! Solitude nourishes the soul and gives us perspective. It also forces us to face our dark sides and overcome weaknesses that we normally ignore.

However no extreme is healthy..so dont go all hermit on me. Life is a push/pull game and its all about knowing when to put yourself on blast and when to lay back in the cut. You won't always be able to strike this balance on your own, hence...

Make Real Friends
Genuine friends are hard to come by. But when they do show up they are a God send. I have always said that a person with true friends does not need psychotherapy or support groups. Your friends will have your back and help you get through whatever life throws at you.

Do not settle for friendships out of convenience or just because you have known people a long time. A friend must earn your trust by consistently sticking by you, especially through the rough spots. Nothing will show a friend's true colors better than adversity. When the sh!t hits the fan, you will see most of them scamper off like roaches when you turn on the lights.

In order to filter out the worthless duds out there, it's good to have some basic criteria for friendship.

If you need inspiration, here is my list:

I, Mr. Fingz, will only extend my friendship to people who:

1. Respect me
2. Consistently show loyalty
3. Are generous and return favors
4. Are positive and grateful
5. Have great dreams and aspirations

A worthless friend is easy to spot once you open your eyes. They are the ones who abuse your good will, drain your energy, never grow or change and then have the nerve to complain about everything. Kick these suckers to the curb, they are holding you back!

A valuable friend is someone who is constantly evolving and growing with you. Someone who can give and take constructive criticism. Each of you will push and inspire the other to new heights and your respective games will become razor sharp.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Phase 2: SEDUCING THE RIGHT WOMAN.

So you've done years of hard work on yourself and are finally starting to feel like a grown man. Congratulations! And welcome to the most difficult part of this whole game. Getting nookie is child's play compared to finding someone worth sharing your days with.

Fortunately there are many ways that you can filter out the diamonds from the rough.

Sex Ain't Everything
Classic scenario we have all seen a million times. A guy is desperate and finally finds a girl who puts out, (miracle of miracles!!!) He then catches immediate one-itis strictly off the basis that she grants him vaginal access.

The poor sucker really believes that he is in love and this girl is the best thing since sliced bread, even if she treats him wrong. This is voluntary blindness.

The obvious pitfall here is that he paints himself in a corner and will miss out on the possibility of finding someone who treats him like a king, is amazing in the sack and is supportive of his endeavors.

The unforeseen pitfall of this attitude is that women can detect when they have the advantage. All she has to do to wrap you around her little finger is with-hold sex, and you are her complacent puppy dog...that is until she finds someone who actually stimulates and challenges her and she breaks your pathetic excuse of a heart.

Moral: While your penis may be an excellent reproductive organ it is a totally worthless instrument for making life decisions. Think with your brain, folks!

Remember your Options
Too many of you function off the scarcity principal and will settle for a mediocre girl because you believe that there are no other girls available to you. The truth is that there are much more than you could possibly imagine, but they won't show up till you really put yourself out there and believe you are entitled to something better.

There is nothing more foolish than a man who starves at a feast!

Just because you are banging a chick regularly does not make her your wife. Until you both agree to be exclusive, it's pretty much open season. During the first weeks of dating, you are both "on trial". If she does not fulfill your needs, then remind yourself that she is not your last resort and in fact you have millions more to choose from.

This is why I mentioned the necessity of a manwh0re phase. If you are confident in your skills as a seducer, then there is not so much at stake and you can be much more relaxed about how you handle a woman. When a girl senses you have more options than she does, her competitive nature kicks in and she will go out of her way to please and keep you around.

If you are a young bachelor with a healthy mind and body, then there is no reason you shouldn't be juggling a few different girls before settling on one.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Take Initiative
Indecisiveness is POISON to your game.

"Is it okay for me to call you tonight?"
"Will you join me for dinner?"
"Can we please have sex?"

UGH! What a big sopping-wet pvssy you are!
Stop asking for permission!!

Let's rephrase this:

"I'll call you tonight"
"I'm starving. Let's grab a bite."
"Come here"

Now we are talking!

Instead of worrying so much what she may think of you and operating from a place of fear, your whole vibe needs to ooze confidence and ownership. You do not need to ask for what is already yours!

Submissive behavior will only attract a domineering woman. Unless you like the idea asking for permission the rest of your natural life, then I suggest you break this bad habit now.

Get Real
Sure you could pretend to be something you are not in order to get her interest, but this is just shooting yourself in the foot. At some point you will get tired of play acting and she will start to detect the fakeness.

Always be as straight up, down to earth and real as you can from the jump. It makes the game so much easier and enjoyable to play because its on your terms and you dont live up to anyone's expectations.

Besides, when you are real you stand a better chance of finding someone who is compatible with the genuine YOU.

Pretty Aint Perfect
Way too many guys let these girls get away with murder because they are good looking. Where is the self-respect? Where are our morals? Just because she is fine and letting you tap it does not give her a license to disrespect you or ruin your life.

This is a tough realization to make, because aside from our natural pursuit of beauty, our culture worships the superficial. Beautiful people know this very well and use it to their advantage whenever possible, so be aware.

I got burned by this one a few times, but learned to put these princesses in their place. As a result I have often gotten that priceless look of shock, like "Oh no you didn't just ask me to go dutch on this meal/wash the dishes/clean up my mess"

At first they get offended but afterwards they appreciate the realness and see you in a whole different light, because you are not like other guys. You are actually treating them like a normal person who is accountable for their actions and this is quite mysterious to them!

Learn to value inner beauty and qualify these hotties more. So what, they made your visual cut...pretty faces are a dime a dozen, but a lady who can satisfy all your needs is a treasure.

Ask yourself what makes a woman ideal, aside from her looks. It will help you filter out a lot of these worthless hoes and establish the right frame for seduction as a chooser, instead of a beggar.

No Bribes, Please!
The act of paying for affection is becoming more common these days. Men feel so unworthy that they compensate with gifts and even money! They fail to see that this is just a more civilized form of prostitution and love cannot be bought.

NEVER buy gifts in order to raise interest level! A girl will lose respect and either ignore, or take full advantage of you.

Your own intrinsic value should be enough to win her over.

If you do get a gift for your sweetheart, make sure that you are already together and it is for the right reasons. Gifts should always have sentimental value (b-days, anniversaries, etc) or be some form of reward.

Distinguish between LTR and ONS
It's one thing to just be after sex, and know that this is all you want, but things get complicated when you confuse the issues and try to turn a hoe into a housewife, or vice-versa.

If she cheats on her boyfriend to be with you, or has a history of cheating, then you should not be surprised when she pulls the same stunt on you. If she is very promiscuous, don't be naive in thinking you can change her.

A woman either values her sexuality or she does not. She will show her true colors very quickly so don't be blinded by that innocent, pretty face. Watch how she handles herself and treat her accordingly.

Try as we might to deceive ourselves, some women are just not LTR material!

Follow Your Nose
Most of us don't realize it but our emotions and memories are most greatly affected by smell. A scent can transport you to another time and illicit all kinds of feelings, much more intensely than sight or sound.

This is why it's important to make sure that your partner's scent really turns you on. I have slept with some girls who did not smell bad at all..they were clean and fresh, but their animal scent did nothing for me. The chemistry was just not there and for a while I couldn't figure out why.

Then I hooked up with an ex, one of my first girlfriends actually and I remembered why she made me crazy. The smell alone was enough to give me a boner!

Never underestimate a woman's pheromones. Be sure to get a good whiff of her hotspot, right behind the ears where the neck meets the skull and jaw line. Collect enough samples over time and you too will realize that good physical chemistry totally has a smell.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Attract the Right Energy
If you practice seduction techniques designed to get fast lays, then it should come as no surprise that you will attract a certain type of woman who responds to that. In my experience, game that is loaded with neg hits, excessive C&F and mind games will pull chicks with self-esteem issues who are not worth much more than a quick romp in the sack.

If you are looking for something deeper, then you will have to learn to project authenticity and make real connections. Relax with the mind-fukking and just be genuine and engaging. You will see a drastic difference in the quality of women you attract.

The key is not to give women special treatment whatsoever, because supplication puts out the wrong signals. It's all a balance of values. At one extreme guys put the hotties on pedestals and worship them blindly, at the other extreme they try to put themselves above women with a myriad of techniques which "raise their value". Both approaches are rooted in one's insecurity and are just different side of the same supplication coin.

In the game of love, there are no pedestals. A woman's energy and values have to MATCH your own for real chemistry to happen. Love is not a constant struggle for power, like let's see who calls who first, or I'm gonna take her down a few notches.. this is childish. Call her if you want to and if she needs to be taken off her high horse, then there's a good chance she is not for you!

If you want a good, feminine gal who understands her role as a woman, then you have to be a dominant gentleman and leave these DJ tricks behind. When it comes to a quality lady, nothing seduces more effectively than sincerity, confidence and charm. Looking and feeling your best certainly helps too!

The Infamous Ex
Beware the lingering ex-boyfriend. It's one thing if they just had a quick fling, but if they were a serious item, then "We are still good friends" should set off a Code Blue!

I don't care how open-minded you are, this is just bad news. I know because I have tried being friends with my ex GF's and it never pans out.

This is not to say that you can't be civil or see this person in public, but to hang out on a regular basis with your ex is like playing with matches at a gas station. Not a good idea!

Her Dad
A woman's relationship with her father is often very telling. He is her first Man and represents more than she is consciously aware of. I am not educated on psychology, but I can tell you that my best relationships have been with chicks who admired and got along with their fathers.

An absentee or worse yet, abusive dad is a red flag in my book. Not that I would never date a girl with these issues, but in my experience it has been more trouble than it was worth. In most cases, these girls tend to have the worst insecurities and often deal with them by being slvts, attentionwh0res, strippers, drug addicts, and overall waste of time. Great for quickies but horrible for LTRs.

Her Friends
Never trust a girl who does not have girlfriends. A chick who never grows out of her tomboy phase is just not ready for love. She needs to mature and embrace her femininity before that can really happen.

With that out of the way, watch how she handles her friendships, because its a good indication of what's in store for you. You will quickly see if she is a giver or a taker, loyal or conniving. You cant tell a lot about a person not only from the company they keep, but how they keep it.

This is one of the things that really swept me away about my wife. She has that genuine mom instinct and takes care of all her friends. She always goes out on a limb for her own, even if it's inconvenient for her. I actually had to teach her to be more selfish because some friends took advantage of her kindness.

Compare that to my ex, who was constantly asking for favors and rarely returning them. She was always manipulating her friends to get what she wanted and generally being shady. She would talk sh!t and complain behind people's backs over the silliest BS. I should not have been surprised when she treated me the same way.

One last word on her friends. You must win their approval if you want anything serious. A girl takes her friends opinions very seriously so make sure they get a taste of your charm. The ideal scenario is to have them constantly telling her what a catch you are.

Stop Dating Yourself
You may think it's a dream come true to find someone who enjoys all the same activities and has the same temperament as you, but in my experience, this relationship will go nowhere fast. You are essentially dating a female YOU and this will not work out in the long haul.

A relationship works very much like magnetism.. the bond is at its strongest when polar opposites join and you achieve a natural duality.. man/woman, yin/yang, fire/water, etc.. In contrast, magnetic charges of the same polarity will always repel each other.

While compatibility and shared interests are essential, it is healthy to be with someone who is very energetically distinct from yourself, so don't let the differences discourage you. Great relationships are characterized by people whose quirks compliment each other.

Two people of the same mold will never balance each other out. If you are very laid-back like me, then that means you need some fire under your ass and a woman with a lot of spirit and energy. You will calm her down and she will stir you to activity. In turn you will both learn a lot from each other and evolve in ways you had not imagined.

LJBF is a blessing in disguise.
Too many of you guys take this sh!t too personal. A girl wants to get to know you first and instantly you think your chances are shot. "Let's Just Be Friends"...it's like a death sentence being read out to most budding DJs and this is just not the case.

Making friends with hot chicks is a win-win situation. First of all, hotties always roll with other hotties and you get instant proof just by association. Second of all, chicks make better wingmen than dudes because they ignite the competitive spark that all women have. A guy who walks in the room with two gorgeous ladies on his arm (who may even just be his friends) will turn more heads than a dude trying to impress his lame guy friends with his l33t DJ skills.

The first time I hit on my wife, she LJBF'ed me and let it be known that she was spoken for. If I was a typical PUA I woulda nexted her, but honestly I thought she was a class act for being faithful, we got along great, and she had hot friends, so I kept her as a pal with no expectations. I had plenty of action at the time, which would eventually make her jealous once she dumped that loser boyfriend and found herself single...hehe.

Being friends with a girl before you seduce her adds an extra spice to your relationship. When romance is built on a foundation of friendship, the connection is far more powerful and lasting because you really trust and respect each other.

I posted on this topic ages ago and still stand by my advice: Escaping the Friend Zone

Of course this is not always the case and sometimes you will just end up jumping each other right away. That's fine too, just keep in mind..

Take your Time, Do it Right
Don't be in such a rush to find your better half. If you two are hitting it off and things are great, there is no need to go from zero to 60. Ease up a bit and really get to know her. It's like Chris Rock said, when you first hook up with a girl you are not actually dating her, you're dating her representative.

We always put our best foot forward at the start of a relationship, so it's often wise to wait until the other shoe drops. In other words, at some point she will start to slip up and annoy you..it's inevitable. Find out if it's something you can deal with or if you guys are ultimately not that compatible.

By the same token, you cannot be a selfish bastard. If you have a good woman on your hands, then at some point you will have to relinquish certain things and give of yourself. While it's wise to pace yourself, recognize that a good woman is worth compromising with.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Phase 3: MAINTAINING A HEALTHY & EXCITING RELATIONSHIP.

So you've found Ms. Right and things are going swimmingly. You are thinking of moving in together and taking things to the next level. Hold your horses there tiger. Do you realize what you are in for? I certainly hope so because there is still much to learn in this game of love.

Make it Official
Boy, we really do not like this. If us men had it our way, we would just "be together" and not put any labels on it. But nooooooo, these women, they need to get constant updates like your relationship was the stock market or something. It's just part of their nature to crave security and know where you stand. A woman will only hold out for so long without commitment or some kind of understanding.

In the beginning weeks and months, you really do not owe her any explanations. But if you have been together for a while and things are going well, at some point you will have the 'what are we?' talk. This is when you establish your roles in a verbal contract of sorts. Most of the time you will simply agree to be monogamous, call each other girl/boy friend and this will keep her happy for a few more months, maybe even longer..

But once again, women will up the ante and start wondering about your future. Will you live together..do you think of marriage, kids, etc. Thanks to her ticking biological clock, this is totally inevitable, so have answers prepared after understanding what you really want and expect from the future!

Set Boundaries
How you start a relationship greatly influences the course it will take. This is why it is crucial to establish your values and expectations right from the start. She needs to know what you expect from a relationship and from life in general.

In contrast I see far too many guys sacrificing too much of themselves from the jump. They are so infatuated and eager to please that they throw their whole lives off-balance and a girl will not only get used to this she will come to EXPECT it.

Your time and attention is valuable, and a woman must earn the right to that kind of compromise. So mark your boundaries and don't be so easy. Let a girl know the things you want and also those that you won't tolerate. This will make your life so much simpler in the long run since its easier to learn than it is to unlearn.

Living Together
Do not even consider marrying someone you never lived with. A relationship becomes a whole different beast when you share the same roof over your heads. This is a true test of your love because at this point it is impossible to avoid getting on each others nerves over stupid sh!t.

My wife wanted to get hitched right away, but I delayed the process for almost three years because I really wanted to get a feel for how we worked together sharing a home. In the beginning it was a disaster. She was a bigger neat freak than me and she had a temper problem I had never noticed before.

Fortunately for both of us, my zen attitude rubbed off on her and she learned to chill out.. in the process I also became more organized and driven to take care of my sh!t. We compromised and ended up better people as a result. That is the biggest green light you will ever get that you have a keeper on your hands.

Keep your Identity
Any extreme in nature is unhealthy. If a woman consumes your thoughts and you spend all your free time with her, this will suffocate both of you. I don't care how well two people get along. We all need personal space and freedom to retain our own identities and friendships. It's just HEALTHY.

She may not enjoy the same activities you do, but this is no reason to give them up. Go spend time alone and for the love of God, make it a point to have a guy's night out with the fellas. Drink beer, play poker, or just hang and talk sh!t. It's good to stay in touch with your manly side.

It's also nice to miss and be missed. Gives you both something to look forward to.

Stay in Charge
This ties into the initiative I mentioned earlier. Except now that you have the girl, your dominance has to take a different form.

See, women are just indecisive by nature. Evolution has equipped them to raise a family and build social networks, but for the most part they truly suck at being pro-active. This is why they love us so much. We make complicated choices so much easier.

That's because us guys are a simple lot. We see point A and point B, then draw a straight line. A women will first wonder if the pen is the right color and then will proceed to scribble in circles through the entire alphabet, considering the emotional implications of each letter before she even reaches B.

For this reason it;s usually a good idea to be a little forceful and say "We will be doing THIS"

You must be the shot-calling, pants-wearing man of the house. You are willing and able to compromise at times to make your lady happy, but most of the time she is lost and has no idea what that is.

Make plans, handle the details and just make sh!t happen consistently. Women will love you for it.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Communicate Properly
Communication comes easy when things are going well. You should really have no problem expressing things like appreciation, joy and fulfillment. Things only start to get hairy when we show our dark side and lose our wits.

It is natural and expected for lovers to have conflicts. If you don't have a clash of wills once in a while, then something seriously weird is going on. Everyone gets on our nerves sometimes and if there is genuine love, we should have no problems expressing our frustrations.

The biggest key to successfully communicating in these situations is to drop the blame game. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, nobody likes to be accused of anything. This just creates a defensive dynamic and nothing will get resolved.

If she does something that upsets you, instead of pointing fingers and raising your voice, let her know rationally what you are going through. Speak her language!

"When you do X, it makes me feel like Y"

A woman cannot argue something like that. People can defend themselves till they are blue in the face, but they cannot debate what you are feeling. If you deliver in a calm yet firm tone, you will diffuse the argument and she will be much more receptive to what you are saying.

Too many fellas think that talking about their feelings is silly or gay. Nothing could be further from the truth. It takes a strong man to communicate his emotions without getting emotional.

But this is still only half the battle. You must also learn to listen and put yourself in her shoes sometimes. If you did something wrong, don't just say you're sorry. Apologizing for the emotional impact is much more effective

"I'm sorry if I made you feel X. It was not my intention."

Unless you did some seriously fukked up sh!t, there is not a woman alive who would refuse a hug after this statement. I have found that it diffuses much tension because you are addressing her concerns directly. Just be sure you put in effort not to make the same mistake or your apologies will start to wear thin.

Being a good listener will also greatly help you to

Maintain the Mojo
The single most common mistake that dudes will make once a girl is "in the bag" is to neglect all the things they did to get her there to begin with. Many of you think that love is like fishing, you put in all this effort to reel her in, but once she is caught, the game is over. LOL.. you trapped her!

Ironically enough, that's exactly how a woman will feel with a man who does not maintain his mojo. This is why it's important to constantly keep them on their toes. Surprise them often. It doesn't have to be anything big..women are very appreciative of your thoughtfulness, so this is where your listening skills come in handy.

A gal is constantly dropping hints of things that she wants..most of the time its subconscious, even she is not aware of it. But you are always taking mental notes and when you hear her express some kind of desire, you file it away for future reference.

Just the other day my wife mentioned how tired she was of her music. She needed some fresh tunes for her car. In my most suave manner, I told her she should go shopping for some new CDs and left it at that. That same night I waited till she was sleeping and then burned her 3 different CDs of our favorite songs, each had funny a little drawing on it.

When she woke up in the morning she found some new music and a note from yours truly with lots of hearts and mushy stuff in it (chicks love the mush!). I spent about ten minutes and 1 dollar on her gift, but this type of stuff is priceless to her.

Of course this just means that at any given moment, she will just surprise me back with something that I have been wanting. People in love constantly reward and please each other.

So shake up your routine. Take her out dancing..go some place you have never been together (or visit the place you first kissed). Be adventurous and full of surprises and your mojo will be strong!

Give Good Loving
Sex should never be taken for granted. It is vital to keep that spark alive and well or things will just fizzle out.

First and foremost is to never forget the foreplay. Men are switches, women are dials. You need to turn up the heat gradually until she is practically begging for sex. Kissing, groping, fondling, dry humping and fingering are all part of the joyful process. She should be dripping wet by the time you are ready to hit it.

The next thing you need to be doing is some serious muff diving. Some girls will say they dont like it, their cl!t is too sensitive, etc etc. That's bullsh!t. They just haven't had the right treatment yet. If she has a very sensitive cl!t, then that just means you need to give her more indirect contact..tease her with the tongue but don't overwhelm. Read her body signals. Eating pvssy is an art form all its own. Far too detailed to get into here, but you can read this excellent article here:

http://tinyurl.com/34suks

Every other success in the sack springs from you ability to maintain your dominance. Constantly pin her down. Flip her over. Pull her hair a bit. Grab the back of her neck, playfully bite her. These are all just part of the natural sex game. Women need to be ravaged in order to be fulfilled, and we get off on tearing that ass up. It works quite nicely actually.

Thing is, constantly being aggressive spoils the surprise. Which is why its good to intersperse your caveman behavior with acts of tenderness. Pause your jackhammer frenzy for a moment and just hold her face. Kiss her neck softly..caress her back. Always keep her wanting more!

Switch up your pace frequently until she begs for you to really hit it hard...this usually means she is close to the end zone and needs you to push her over the edge. If you feel yourself on the verge before she has gotten her rocks off, ease up a bit and prolong the experience.

Here is a real kicker for you though... if you really want to reach some Jedi sex levels, then don't always come. Yes you heard correctly.. hit it till she climaxes (maybe a few times) but dont bust! This not only makes her crazy for your nut, it also allows you to hit her up multiple times and satisfy her more thoroughly.

In my experience, this can be upsetting for a woman too..she will wonder if you are really turned on by her. This is why you must reassure her that she is sexy as hell and you are just saving your energy to be able to bang her more.

By this point you should have total control over your come, so when you are finally ready to let her have it, time it to coincide with her orgasm. Nothing will give you both greater satisfaction than to simultaneously collapse into each others arms afterwards and watch the room spin.

This is all beyond sex, its freaking tantra and it will keep a girl faithful, and quite addicted to your bedroom antics. Trust me when I say that 99.999% of guys will never do this stuff and you will scratch an itch that no other man has scratched.

And on that Happy Note..

I will now conclude this post. Hopefully you found some of this info useful. I certainly wish someone would have explained this stuff to me when I was younger, but I guess that's what mistakes and heartaches are for.

This is by no means a comprehensive list. Especially in the maintenance department, I learn something new all the time and might add to this post as I discover.

Feel free to post your own experiences and LTR tips in this thread, or heck just start your own. Sosuave seems so focused on just getting pvssy, that it is seriously lacking material on what to do once you get it.

I look forward to your feedback and responses.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Sosuave seems so focused on just getting pvssy, that it is seriously lacking material on what to do once you get it.

So true.

And along that same notion, this is exactly the kind of thread I've been looking for for quite some time. Thank you so much for posting this. It really refreshed my mind, you know? My plans and thoughts were getting kinda fuzzy, but this post set me back on the straight and narrow.

 

[cyp6]

wow!!!!!!!!!! VERY NICE POST JUST WHAT I NEEDED

 

[Gustavo Cerati]

Interesting post(s).

I really like how your article ties together a lot of the concepts you've written about here in the past and draws on your experience. Reading it has made me rethink a lot of old ideas that I'd learned on Sosuave but then forgotten or started to take for granted.

Amidst all the negativity, it's great to see someone who's put forth the effort and succeeded in so many aspects of the DJ game.

 

[just another newb??]

Iv come to the conclusion that trying to be the ultimate catch/prize only puts you in the passive mode and you no longer control what is happening in your life.

If you take it too far, it becomes just another way of finding ecxuses for yourself not to do something.
Hah why should i talk to these girls, hah why should i call her she should call me, hah why should i arrange a party for my friends, I AM THE PRIZE they should organise it for me... and you end up sitting at home being passive and reading sosuave.net

IF you were a true prize you would just sit relax and let people(also the women) do all the work for you

and when this happens YOU HAVE BECOME PASSIVE, you no longer go for what you want, you become so secure in your own little world thinking you are the prize that you no longer take risks and with no risk there can be no growth.

I am sure this is not what pook ment, but i am just telling you how it affected me.. im talking what has happened to me. Maybe someone can learn from my mistakes and maybe someone wizer can let me know if im on the right track or not ...

When my I had a playstation when i was 10 I was so happy playing on it, but one day i realized that it was way more fun to call my friends over and share the experience.

You are the great prize indeed, but dont deny other people the pleasure of receiveing that prize.

AS pook himself said:To be a man is to want, and to be woman is to be wanted

You were one of the first writers i looked upon when i first found that site..quite along time ago, so I would appreciate your thoughts on this thank you

 

[Señor Fingers]

Iv come to the conclusion that trying to be the ultimate catch/prize only puts you in the passive mode and you no longer control what is happening in your life.

That's a very enlightened perspective. The key word in that sentence is trying

There is a big difference between convincing yourself and actually knowing.

To compound the matter we all have different ideas of what "the prize" is. No doubt many posters here think the Prize is simply a chick magnet and that's all there is to it.

For me it means that I am always learning and getting better in various aspects of life. My personal evolution is never on pause and I see tangible improvements every day. There is a quiet confidence that comes from this. A confidence which is not based on facade or self-delusion, but on genuine accomplishment.

As someone who is constantly working on themself, you develop a low tolerance for lazy people and your standards go up. All of a sudden a pretty face isnt enough..you are looking for a prize of a woman that can really be on your wavelength.

Hah why should i talk to these girls, hah why should i call her she should call me, hah why should i arrange a party for my friends, I AM THE PRIZE they should organise it for me... and you end up sitting at home being passive and reading sosuave.net

LOL! I could not agree more. There is a very real danger to intellectual complacency..you see a lot of that on this forum. The real issue here is pro-activity. If you say "I am the prize" and are not putting in the work to make that statement true, then it's just mental masturbation.

You see a lot of this stuff here. Guys are on a 24/7 circle jerk and never figure out why they are alone on a Saturday night. Its good to reward yourself for a job well done, but flat-out complacency is detrimental to one's development.

 

[just another newb??]

yeah..iv been doing this self improvement for over a year now... and since i already had a great social life before i found this forum i have managed to put alot of this stuff into action and many many times...and failed and failed

And i have ended up in a conclusion that you need no game... you just have to accept yourself and work on how to let your true self (higher self... i really believe in spiritual growth and this sort of stuff) shine.

AS someone here said "the more you learn about the game, the more you realize there is no game"

Iv had some recent experiences where i felt like god was watching my every move... i needed no game plan no strategy...actually I was no thinking at all at these moments i always acted flawless and that led me to search for the higher inteligence out there.

But id like to have your insight on two things about women and relationships in general.

two old sayings: "opposites attract" vs "birds of a feather flock together"

and "egoistical taking of the jerk" vs "true don giving without wanting anything in return"

looking forward to your answer

 

[Duke]

Oh man. Fingers, you are like an oasis here in this desert called Sosuave. I haven't the time to read this right now (gotta jet to attend class), but my loins are quivering in anticipation. Your efforts are much appreciated, playboy, and it's good to see you haven't given up on this place.

 

[Lion]

Well done Señor Fingers! This is one of the best posts I have ever read in the two years of discovering the forum

 

[wayword]

- If I could have any job I wanted, what would it be?
- If I had all the money I needed, what would I do with my free time?
- If I could travel anywhere in the world, where would I go?
- If I had the power, how would I make the world a better place?

Submissive behavior will only attract a domineering woman. Unless you like the idea asking for permission the rest of your natural life, then I suggest you break this bad habit now.

An absentee or worse yet, abusive dad is a red flag in my book. Not that I would never date a girl with these issues, but in my experience it has been more trouble than it was worth. In most cases, these girls tend to have the worst insecurities and often deal with them by being slvts, attentionwh0res, strippers, drug addicts, and overall waste of time. Great for quickies but horrible for LTRs.

Never trust a girl who does not have girlfriends. A chick who never grows out of her tomboy phase is just not ready for love. She needs to mature and embrace her femininity before that can really happen.

That's because us guys are a simple lot. We see point A and point B, then draw a straight line. A women will first wonder if the pen is the right color and then will proceed to scribble in circles through the entire alphabet, considering the emotional implications of each letter before she even reaches B.

For this reason it;s usually a good idea to be a little forceful and say "We will be doing THIS"

You must be the shot-calling, pants-wearing man of the house. You are willing and able to compromise at times to make your lady happy, but most of the time she is lost and has no idea what that is.

Make plans, handle the details and just make sh!t happen consistently. Women will love you for it.

But you are always taking mental notes and when you hear her express some kind of desire, you file it away for future reference.

dont bust! This not only makes her crazy for your nut, it also allows you to hit her up multiple times and satisfy her more thoroughly.

In my experience, this can be upsetting for a woman too..she will wonder if you are really turned on by her. This is why you must reassure her that she is sexy as hell and you are just saving your energy to be able to bang her more.

Wow, fantastic overall manifesto. Some real nuggets obviously born of real experience too. Thanks!

 

[Duke]

Man, I can definitely tell you learned all of this from the school of hard knocks . Very good stuff that I wish I'd read years ago, but I'm still young yet so I am sure it will come into play again to good effect.

I like how you pointed out that some women aren't even ready for a cool guy to ravish them, such as the girls who haven't grown out of the "tomboy" phase. All too often we assume that if a girl isn't falling for us, then we are doing something WRONG. Well it, may just be that she has the unhealthy desire to be treated poorly or to be fawned over, neither of which any self-respecting DJ does.

I like that you pointed this out, because it helps put guys back in the driver's seat of their life, helps them to realize that their OWN standards are the only ones that are important, not the ones women have for them.

-Duke

 

[LT1]

He's Back!

 

[Duke]

He's Back!

Back again
Fingaz back
Tell a friend

 

[eyedogg]

Great job Fingaz!!!!!!!!!!!

Please continue to contribute!!!!

-Eyedogg