Going out with a bang...

[NIR Mondego]

I see a girl standing by herself, pressing buttons on her phone.

Me: That's always a good trick.
Her: What?
Me: Pretending to text message people when you're by yourself, so you don't look like a loser.
Her[looking pissed]: Do I know you?

Dude, that was HILARIOUS. Keep posting field reports, please!

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Well, I started my job and have a long commute since I haven't moved yet. So I get up at 6 am and get back at 7 pm. Uggh. I haven't had much time or energy to work on this project. I was so tired I ended up leaving my phone on a desk at work yesterday.




I did go to Wal Mart last night, though. While I was buying some pants for work, I heard a girl starting to ask 'Do you know where the--Oh, never mind'.

I was wearing a blue shirt and I guess she thought I was an employee. When I turned she saw that I had no name tag.



At first, I assumed my regular mentality and just turned back to what I was doing without saying anything. But then I realized that I ought to try not being a chump and see what happens. I made a concious effort to improve my delivery by speaking clearly in a full voice. What I said wasn't that interesting but it really seemed to command her attention.

Me: "People keep mistaking me for an employee. I can't understand what's wrong with them."[This is true, because she was the 2nd person to have done that last night]
Her: Haha, really?
Me: Yeah. What were you looking for, though?
Her: We [I see she's with a friend now] are looking for a baseball cap for somebody.
Me: Are you buying him a present? Is it his birthday?
Her: No, he's going to pay us back.

At this point the conversation broke off, but she did wave as I left.



About 5 minutes later, I was standing in checkout and guess who gets in line behind me?


She actually begins the conversation.

Her: So what are you doing tonight?
Me: Oh, buying pants. Highly important business. What about you?
Her: We're helping our friend move in.
Me: Wpw, what did he do to deserve all this stuff?
Her: Oh...he's just our friend.

The guy in front of me is on a cell phone, trying to confirm the right brand of cigarettes to buy and he's taking forever.

I move in closer and whisper to her like she was a friend. She seems to grasp right on and starts acting playful.

Me: This guy has been in line for a long time. He's giving somebody the play-by-play of his checkout.
Her: Oh, for rizzle?




After that she keeps up the conversation and it's very friendly and warm. This came totally out of the blue. She is a freshman at the school I just graduated from. I manage to tie this into kino by saying I can always tell freshman just from looking at them. She asks how and I run my hand through her hair while saying that freshman always go for a certain hairstyle and makeup.




At this point I feel very confident that I'd get her number if I asked, and then remember that I left my phone on that desk. Dammit! So after I finish checking out, we just say good bye and good night.



Then, three minutes later at a traffic light, I realized I could have had her just write it down on my receipt.


Then at the next traffic light I realized I could have even tried the 'apocalypse' as I left.

Either of those would have been better than just leaving. Ah well.




Edit: Right now, I want to try and make up for this and I'm going to go over to my school's rec center and see if there's any girls there. I actually haven't done any approaching outside of bars yet. We'll see how it goes.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Well, I chumped out pretty bad.



On Saturday I went downtown. Everything was pretty dead so I was walking back to my car.

I see some girls going down the street and don't really pay attention. One of them waves but I assume it's to someone standing somewhere else.

Then she says 'Oh my god! Hey, do you remember me from Wal Mart?'


This is the stupid part. Despite being all frustrated that I didn't get her number before, I just default into my normal chump mode and give emotionless, three-words-or-less answers.


Me: Yeah.
Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Just hanging around.
Her: Are you having fun?
Me: Not really.[I start to turn and go on my way]
Her: Oh...okay.




I don't know why I acted this way. I would say I wasn't ready, but I had gone downtown for the sake of doing approaches. Bleh. That sucked.

 

[Kid Style]

I just finished reading all your posts, and I believe the best outcome is your field report on the 22nd!! The conversation was hitting it great in every angle with that girl in the checkout...except you DID NOT GET THAT NUMBER CLOSE! Your confidence is getting better, but read the DJ Bible articles in the inspirational section. That will give you a better boost. You are doing great, keep up the good work.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Well, it's been a really long time since I made a post in this thread. I don't have an internet connection at home and I don't think it's a good idea to post here from work.


I've been very busy and haven't had much time at all to work on this stuff. But I have tried hard to squeeze in approaches in every day places.

Last weekend, I had to go back to my parents house. On the way back up, I stopped at a 50's style burger drive in.

As soon as I saw the waitress, I decided I would try an approach. I thought over what I'd say while I ate. More importantly, I decided that from now on, I am going to ask for a girls number at the end of the approach no matter what. Maybe this isn't a good idea most of the time, but for me it is not something I am comfortable with at all and so I need to get used to asking for it. You've already seen how the words just aren't in my vocabulary yet.


After eating, I ask her...

Me: So how angry do you get when people don't leave a tip?
Her: Oh, I get so mad that I chase people in their cars down the street. Haha, no, I don't really care.
Me: Are you sure? I saw a story on TV once where they interviewed all these people who said that they'd spit in peoples' drinks or urinate in the pickle jar or whatever the next time they came back.
Her: What? Haha. I probably wouldn't even remember the person.
Me: Oh, okay. So how long have you worked here?
Her: Well, I am really just helping my parents for a few weeks before the summer semester begins.
Me: Where do you go to school?
Her: [school].
Me: In [city]?
Her: Right.
Me: That's near my parents house. They live in [podunk]. It's a gas station by the side of the highway on [highway].
Her: Haha, which one? There's a lot of those.
Me: Right...what's your name, by the way?
Her: [Name]...
At this point some more customers come in. She has to wait on them so I better get going.
Me: [Name]? Okay...Well, I'm just passing through, but you seem like a pretty cool girl. Why don't you give me your number and--
Her: I have a boyfriend, sorry.



I actually felt really pumped up after this, even though I didn't get the number. Just asking made me feel real confident.



I am posting this from a library where they impose a pretty strict time limit on internet use. I have a whole bunch more to post but I might not get to it, so I will just post this now and start on the next piece.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Later that week, I bought some , which I've never done before. Not that I think I'll necessarily use them anytime soon, but I am now convinced that I will get there if I stick with it. Before I was just experimenting because I felt like I had nothing to lose, not because I really believed it would work.


There was a big 'downtown days' thing going on recentlyIt was actually a very family-and-kid centric event, but there were still a lot of hot girls there.

These events have become mixed up in my mind since this was all two or three weeks ago. Now I realize that this was actually before the last post I made.


I was kind of timid about approaching, though. I did maybe 5 or 6 but there was only one good one.


There was a band of street performers and a big crowd standing around watching them.

Further back there were 4 or 5 girls. I walked over and found one who wasn't in the main conversation with the others.

Me: Man, can you smell that?
Her: What?
Me: In that crowd over there...I was trying to watch but somebody has really, really bad body odor.[This was true, actually!]
Her: Wow, that's terrible.
Me: Yeah, whoever it is is stinking up the whole street. What's that you're drinking?
Her: It's [i can't hear her].
Me: Oh, that'll make you grow up big and strong...Grow a hairy chest...[Hey, this worked well last time.]
She gives a good laugh.
Her: So what are *you* drinking?
Me: Me? Oh, nothing. I just got here actually, and I'm driving. I didn't even know that this was going on. Isn't that illegal by the way? [I motion to her drink again].
Her: No, I'm 21. 24, actually.
Me: Right, but the open container in the street. That's illegal in Missouri isn't it?
Her: Oh, I don't know. There's selling it right over there...
Me: Well, they change the rules for these things all the time.
She seems genuinely interested in talking to me now, but her friends are impatiently saying stuff like 'come on, let's get going' and she says she has to go with them.

A good approach, but cut short before I could really get started.

 

[Birdem]

WoW that was a good laugh... If your agenda was to be funny you really accomplished that... What you need to do is focus more on the goal here and start closing... Other than that I like the effort...

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Dude your approaches are fu(kin hilarious, keep it up it really seems like your improving. I liked the random ass slap one and the mother daughter one. Man their both jokes. Your gonna have to muck and duck some approaches but your going at it!!

 

[HandyAndy]

Her: Oh, for rizzle?

Are you serious? Haha!

 

[AKA FLEX]

Well, I chumped out pretty bad.



On Saturday I went downtown. Everything was pretty dead so I was walking back to my car.

I see some girls going down the street and don't really pay attention. One of them waves but I assume it's to someone standing somewhere else.

Then she says 'Oh my god! Hey, do you remember me from Wal Mart?'


This is the stupid part. Despite being all frustrated that I didn't get her number before, I just default into my normal chump mode and give emotionless, three-words-or-less answers.


Me: Yeah.
Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Just hanging around.
Her: Are you having fun?
Me: Not really.[I start to turn and go on my way]
Her: Oh...okay.




I don't know why I acted this way. I would say I wasn't ready, but I had gone downtown for the sake of doing approaches. Bleh. That sucked.

Dude, this Wal-Mart chick practically had her legs open for you. Two times she asked you what you're doing tonight. Think that might be a hint?!?!?

If you're feeling "bleh" or not confident, at LEAST get her number so you can call her and work it when your mojo is on...

 

[Furyguy]

I thought I had a job for sure and I don't. Now I am graduating and not really sure what to do. It's kind of depressing.

Not depressing, exciting! That's the wrong attitude to have, man. Deviate from the worn-out path laid down by those who came before you every now then, it makes life interesting.

Sounds like you've come a long way though, keep it up.


A note on the fear of dancing; I used to be the same way - a girl would mention she's going to a club or something and I'd always back out or avoid going. You really only need to do it once or twice in your life, though, and you've got it down no problem. Don't see it as a challenge to overcome, see it as an opportunity to touch and rub up against them however you want. Instead of worrying that you're not doing what they want you to do, make them do what you want to do. It puts the pressure on them rather than you as they have to adjust to your style.

All you need is a little bit of rhythm and you're set. If you absolutely don't have any, try going to the local live music shows they have at bars and clubs sometimes. You can move and sway to the rhythm of the crowd to get the feel for moving with a beat. Also, there's almost always loads of hot women at these things if you want to work on your approaches, too.


Your story is inspiring though, keep going.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Haha, oh boy...I only have 20 minutes in this library but I'll see if I can get this posted.

In Kansas City, there is kind of a legendary part of town called Westport. It is one of the earlier (earliest, I believe) settlements on the Missouri river. It's quite historic, and these days it's all a big entertainment district full of clubs and bars.

I had never been there before until Friday.


My roommate said he met his girl friend at a certain club, so I went in there.


It's a lot bigger than the places I used to go in my college town, and with a lot of people. The first thing I notice is that on the dancefloor, there are like 15 girls and 2 guys. There's a lot of guys just standing around watching girls dance though.


I see a girl at the bar, pressing buttons on her phone. Last time I tried this I got a crappy response, but I figure I'd try again since people on the board thought it was funny:

Me: That's always a good tactic...
Her: What?
Me: You know, pressing buttons on your phone so you look like you aren't a loser.

This time it goes over real well and she laughs.

Me: Come on, we've all done that, right?
Her: No.
Me: You mean you've never done that, ever?
Her: No. [laughs]
Me: Oh, great. So I just admitted to being a loser, didn't I?

At this point a friend comes over and they go off somewhere else.


There is an extremely annoying DJ/MC who talks constantly and is always trying to get peoples attention. It's hard to ignore him. After a few minutes I tune him out and approach a girl standing alone, watching the DJ. She has her arms crossed.

Me: Wow, why are you so angry?
Her: What do you mean?
Me: You're standing there like this...
I make an exaggerated pose
Her: Haha
Me: You must have a lot of pent up rage or something.
Her: Actually, I do.
Me: How so?
Her: I came here by myself...I've been here since 7:30. I just got off a one night stand and I'm just waiting for someone to **** with me.

I really didn't know what to say to that. Then some guy comes over and they start talking to her.



I see two girls sitting at the bar. I say to the one that's closer...

Me: Hey, is that your friend?
Her: Yeah, she's my friend.
Me: Is she cool?
Her: What do you mean?
Me: You know, is she cool?
Her: Haha, I don't know...Ask her.

The friend can see us talking but the music is too loud to hear us.

Me: Your friend told me you're not cool.
Her: What?
Me: Her words, not mine.

They talk to eachother and laugh.

I don't really remember what happened after this part.




So I was really thirsty and bought some water. I go back over toward the main area with the dance floor.

Before I go on, I need to describe the layout of the club to you.


The dance floor is sort of in a pit, lower than the rest of the club. It's in a big square in the middle of the room. There's a railing all around which looks over it.


There are some other areas with chairs and couches over to the sides. There's also a bar and the stage with the annoying DJ on it.

Where I am now standing, there is one of those couch areas behind me. It's raised a little bit and also has a railing in front of it. So I'm standing in between the two railings, looking out at the dance floor.


A few minutes earlier, I saw an extremely hot black girl dancing over in this couch area. I think that 'ratings' are kind of dumb and usually refrain from doing it, but this girl had to be a 10. Whoa, dude.



And I don't have enough time to tell what happened today. So I'll continue in a post tomorrow.

 

[HandyAndy]

Her: I came here by myself...I've been here since 7:30. I just got off a one night stand and I'm just waiting for someone to **** with me.


OMG!!! You should have said something here!!

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Her: I came here by myself...I've been here since 7:30. I just got off a one night stand and I'm just waiting for someone to **** with me.


OMG!!! You should have said something here!!

I know. I really wasn't sure what she meant though. Did she mean it like she's waiting for someone to get into a fight with her, or that she wanted another ONS?

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

A few minutes earlier, I saw an extremely hot black girl dancing over in this couch area. I think that 'ratings' are kind of dumb and usually refrain from doing it, but this girl had to be a 10. Whoa, dude.



And I don't have enough time to tell what happened today. So I'll continue in a post tomorrow.[/QUOTE]


Okay.


So I see this girl dancing by herself. She's really going at it, just like what you'd see in a music video or something. I thought about approaching her, but chickened out.

But I did try something new. I have read somewhere that it's good to practice looking at girls a certain way. You make a confident posture and look right at their eyes until they look away, instead of you acting like you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar as soon as they see you.

So I did that. Our eyes met for a few seconds and I held the gaze until she turned away.

A few minutes later, I am leaning against that railing, looking out at the dance floor. Suddenly, my back tenses up as a girl puts her arms around my neck and shoulders. It's the girl I was just staring at!


She whispers in my ear, "Come dance with me, baby."

Um, wow.
I think I must have crossed into the Twilight Zone or something. My heart starts to beat faster and I feel a little woozy, but I think to myself that this time, I'm not going to blow it. I resolutely duck under the railing and join her.

"What's your name?", she asks.
"[name]"
"I'm [name]."


I feel more nervous by the second. She takes my hand and moves her rear end close in front of me.

A little dumbfounded, I try to just move with the music, and then...


Remember how I said there were people sitting on couches behind this railing? I hear riotous laughter and people shouting "Haha! What the f**?" and "He must be gay!"

I look to my left and I see 5 or 6 people literally falling out of their chairs laughing at me. They keep shouting 'He's gay, he's gay.'

I try to laugh good naturedly and give them a shrug. I stop moving though. The girl turns around and asks whether I'm gay. I say no. She says just to ignore them then. She moves her butt in real close and says 'come on, get up on it'.

I try to do that, but I really don't know what it means. My attempt to do so provokes even louder laughing then before. I look to my right, past the rail and I see that all the guys who were watching the girls on the dance floor are now looking at me.

"He's GOT to be gay, he's GOT to be gay" I hear someone yell.


This time the girl stops and asks if I'm gay.

"No."
"Bisexual?"
"No."

Now I feel like a chump, though. At first I was really trying to dance, now I just want this to be over.

She stops a third time and says that I have to be gay and we go our separate ways. :nervous:






Well, I didn't try to approach any more girls in *there*, because I felt sure they'd laugh at me if they saw what had happened. I felt like I had just peed my pants in front of the whole club or something.



I was determined not to be stopped, though. So I headed to the bar across the street. This seemed to be more of an 'indie/emo' venue. It was packed, though. A lot more people than the place I was just at.

I approach the first girl I see, an emo girl with boobs the size of bowling balls.




Me: Hi
Her: Hey...
Me: Are these people your friends?
[This didn't really make sense because she was standing alone.]
Her: Huh? Well, she is.[She motions toward someone in the crowd.]
Me: Is she cool.
Her: Yeah.
Me: More cool than you?
Her: Oh, she's definitely cooler than me.
Me: Why's that?
Her: Well, she's in a band..
Me: Oh. Are you just a roadie?
Her: No...
[She was kind of interested at first, but now I am just interrogating her. I can tell that my mood and confidence is way off right now. I know I should stop asking silly questions, but I just can't.]
Me: Do you know the difference between a roadie and a groupie?
Her: I do.

She turns away and I don't say anything.





I see two girls sitting at a table.


Me: Is that your friend?
Her: Yeah.
Me: She looks mean.
Her: What? Haha, no. She's my best friend.
Me: Well, your best friend looks mean.

I don't really remember what I said after this. The conversation progressed in a similar way to the last one, though. I could tell it was time to stop playing around with silly topics/questions but I just couldn't. At one point, she says that she is a nurse.

Me: I don't believe you. It seems like every girl I talk to is a nurse. It's an inside joke or something.
Her: No, I really am. I bet you have some really nerdy job.
Me: Well, yeah, I do.
Her: It's probably some really nerdy computer job.
[She is saying this in a not-very-playful manner]
Me: Well...it is.

Her friend asks her a question. She says, loudly, "He's a ****ing wierdo, don't talk to him" and they leave.


At that point, I decided I'd probably be better off just going home and trying again later .

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Lately, I have actually had a lot of free time. Weekends are very boring so far in this new town.

I have come up with several ideas for things to do, and decided to evaluate them based on how they will help me achieve this goal, which frankly is what I want the most.

All of them are ideas I have seriously contemplated or wanted to do in the past:


Putting together a huge list of the most important topics I learned in my major in college and reviewing them
Hell no, this isn't going to help. So I'm not doing it.

Practicing chess a lot more and joining the local chess club(s)
See above.

Taking dance lessons
I actually don't really feel like doing this, but it would help a lot I think. I wouldn't have to do it for months and months necessarily. Just 6 or 7 weeks to become more graceful would be enough. So I'll do it.

Joining a band
I used to play when I was a teenager back home. I play a bass and a guitar, so I'm sure I can find something. Just saying 'I'm in a band' brings a lot of street cred, so I'll do it.

Reading at least 100 books by the end of the year
This was actually my New Year's resolution. How dorky. Like I said before, I don't own a TV and I do actually enjoy this. However, it's not going to help me with my goal, so forget it.


Working out/getting in better shape
This can't be too hard. The exercise is not what I'm worried about. It's eating all that food. I'm quite a shrimp right now and I really don't know if I could make myself eat 6 times a day or whatever they recommend. I will have to do more research about what this takes. But I ought to do it.





I also realize now that I forgot the new rule I made about always asking for a girls number at the end of the approach. I have to start doing that. I also don't think that 3-5 approaches every 2 weeks is going to cut it. I have to find some way of doing them every day.

I see a lot of the day time approaches on this forum are at book stores. I'll have to try that.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Yesterday, I ate at a local hamburger place. The waitress was pretty cute so I decided to see what I could do..


She showed to my table and asked what I wanted to drink. At this point I noticed that she had a very, very strong southern accent.

Me: Okay...So is it Georgia? Tennesee? Alabama?
Her: No...
Me: Texas?

She just gave a flirty smile and shook her head. We made a lot of eye contact too.

At this point, I thought to myself, "I've got this. All I have to do is not make any dumb mistakes and I'll have her number."

Me: Alright, where?
Her: I'm from Missouri, actually.
Me: Which part?
Her: [Some town I never heard of]

blah blah, I don't really remember. But she laughed at everything I said.

Later she comes back and chats some more. She looked at the other chair by the table as if she was thinking about sitting down.


I ask if she's in college and she says she's in high school. 16 years old.


Blah, oh well. She looked 20.






Later, I auditioned for a bass playing spot in a band. There was another guy too, and he got it. But the ad I placed on craigslist got tons of reponses, so I'm not discouraged. There are 2 or 3 places for dance lessons in town...I'm going to look into that this weekend. As for working out, I still need more information about proper diet for that and I haven't had time to look it up yet.

 

[Kerpal]

There is a thread in H&F called "Where to start" that has everything you need to know.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

It's been almost a month since I made a post, and also over a month since I really worked on anything.


Well, here's how those goals I set out have gone so far:


I didn't try working out yet, but I did try eating a lot more (specifically more high-protein food.) Honestly, it seemed to make a difference. Metabolism wise, after doing this for a few days I felt like I was hungry all the time. I guess that's good, right? I was doing the 6-meals a day thing. Breakfast, 10:30, lunch, 3:30, dinner, before bed. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought. But I kind of backed off doing it--I actually did some weight. I was probably under-weight before but I didn't want to keep eating all this food without exercising also.



I joined a band. It kind of sucks though...
It's a cover band, but I don't know the songs we play. I don't listen to much contemporary music. The practice schedule is pretty hairy, too. They only practice once a week, beginning two hours before I get off work.

Apparently I am the 3rd bass player they've had, and now the drummer is leaving too. I might try to find something else because this isn't really going anywhere and it's not that much fun.




I didn't do the dance lessons thing either, although I haven't fogotten it entirely. I also am thinking about taking singing lessons. Remember how I said I have such a nasally, dorky sounding voice? All the people I know who are singers have really rich, full sounding melodic voices. I think a good way to get a good voice would be to take singing lessons.




But the real reason I haven't done most of these things is because I've just been so tired from work all the time lately. If you're in college, you don't know what you've got till it's gone, let me tell you.

 

[FireOnTheMountain]

Here's some landmark progress I completely forgot in the above post.


On the 20th day of the 23rd year of his life, FireOnTheMountain went on his first date.


I forgot to post about this because it didn't really happen the way I expected and I wasn't thinking about 'gaming girls' when I did it.

I have taken Chinese language classes before and I was at a Chinese restaurant. There were no other customers around and the waitress was...


Well, I just told her that it's hard to learn a language without practicing, in the classes we took we just wrote sentences instead of speaking aloud, blah blah..Then I asked if she wanted to practice her English some time.

She gave me her phone number and we tried our practice that weekend.

I call it a date, though, because I don't think girls are dumb about when guys ask them stuff like that.


It went...okay. I wasn't in the right mood or something because everything I said was so bland and sterile. Just not very interesting.


We tried again on Monday and I suspect that will be the last time. She seemed really bored and distant. As I drove her back to her house she just looked out the window and said something like 'uh huh' or 'yeah' whenever I tried to make conversation. Ah, well. It's still progress.