Going on a bike ride (day date) with a chick

[Maxtro]

I look and act much younger than I am. Everybody thinks I'm about 5 years younger. Women my age won't even give me the time of day. We're also on completely different levels of life experience. Also all the girls I meet are college age. I don't even know where to meet women over 23.

I already do 1 through 3. I made sure this girl was single before I got her number and she's not super hot or thin. She's cute, 5'2 and about 15 lbs overweight. Well within my 'league.' I get the feeling that if I met her at a party, I'd have a much better chance with her.

OK next time I get a number I'll contact you. Since I'm out of class for the summer I won't be meeting any girls till September.

 

[mikeyb]

Since I'm out of class for the summer I won't be meeting any girls till September.

Um...why not exactly? Do girls only exist within your classes? This is your chance to do the DJ bootcamp or something similar. If you want to improve you have to look beyond your comfort zone.

 

[mikeyb]

Edit: double post.

 

[amoka]

Listen up... you need to read the Bible and do a boot camp. You have been here for over 6 yrs and still can't get a woman to give you a kiss? What's up with "how about a kiss?" sh!t. Get some ball and go for what you want.

 

[ARrocket]

I did lots of kino and I constantly teased her.

Good.

When we were sitting on the rocks I brought up that I wanted to get to know her better and that's when she shot me down. If she responded differently, I would have kissed her then.

Bad. This is crap. What kind of wussy conversation were you having with this girl? Were you sitting close to her? Mess with her physically...bump her around, grab her hand, rub her leg, do something more sexual than telling her you want to get to know her better. That's like indirectly saying "hey I think you're swell, I like you a lot.

Frankly I haven't kissed a girl in 5 years, so I have zero confidence in trying to make a physical move.

Stop it. When I was 18 I hadn't kissed a girl in 18 years. I still went for it anyway. Get that defeatist mentality crap outta here Maxtro. YOU need to take charge. Know that you are the catch, and be bold and aggressive like I said before.

When we got back to my place I made it very clear that I wanted more than a platonic relationship. She pretty much said that we are only going to be friends for now.

Don't bother being friends. Fvck her.

When I dropped her off she opened her arms wide, I jokingly said, "How about a kiss?" She said nope, we hugged then said bye.

Lame. If anything, you should have just kissed her.

I'm starting to get the idea that trying to date girls may be the wrong approach in college. The last girl said she didn't want to date anybody, and this girl said she doesn't want anything serious. I just want to have a fun time with a girl, then have sex with her. Is that too serious?

She doesn't want anything serious....with you.

I'm annoyed that she didn't tell me before that she had to leave early. I was going to suggest that we get some pizza and watch a movie. Then I would have made some drinks. I've got plenty of alcohol at home. Perhaps if I had gotten her tipsy I would have had a better chance of hooking up with her.

Alcohol may lead to sex, but I don't want you under the impression that you need it to get laid. I drink plenty, but all but 1 of my lays have been sober. Just be bold and aggressive, and you'll surprise yourself.

I'll try going to a bar with her if she's not adverse to hanging out again. She also mentions that she goes to house parties so she could be a connection.

So next time I'm interested in a chick I'll try taking her to a bar. It doesn't seem as fun as a day date, but I probably have a better chance of getting some action from her.

Good. Don't drink too much. And make sure she doesn't either. Just a little bit to get you both loosened up.

Bold ^

 

[Maxtro H & F]

Damn 10 post rule. I always get hit with it when something important is going on.

The bootcamp is all about cold approaching randoms.
There simply is no point or hope in trying to game somebody that I see in the mall, bookstore etc.

I should be able to get the women that go to my school; there is more than enough variety. I just need to figure out what the freaking trick is.
I could also use a confidence boost that would come from actually getting a girl for once.

The "how about a kiss" comment was a joke. I knew she would decline, though it’s also the first time in 5 years that I let a girl knew I wanted to kiss her. It probably had a 5% chance of working.

Bad. This is crap. What kind of wussy conversation were you having with this girl? Were you sitting close to her? Mess with her physically...bump her around, grab her hand, rub her leg, do something more sexual than telling her you want to get to know her better. That's like indirectly saying "hey I think you're swell, I like you a lot.

I forgot what we were talking about. It was the best way I could think of at the time to let her know that I was interested. I grabbed her hand a couple of times going across the rocks and I bumped into her a lot and touched her arms and shoulders all throughout the date.

We talked more about us when I got her back to my place but by then I had zero confidence.

Don't bother being friends. Fvck her.

I’d love to. I’m not sure what I should do next. Hell I don’t know if I should even call her again.

Alcohol may lead to sex, but I don't want you under the impression that you need it to get laid. I drink plenty, but all but 1 of my lays have been sober. Just be bold and aggressive, and you'll surprise yourself.

I keep hearing different views on this. I don’t care if alchohol is required for sex or not. I just want to get laid.

Being bold just doesn't resonate with me. I need some sign that my action will work. If she had said anything positive to me when I was sitting with her, I would have tired to kiss her. I'm sure she realized that, and knew that I was basically asking for permission to kiss her.

A very big problem I have is that I don’t know what to talk about with women. I treaded a lot of new ground with this girl. There was no question at all that I was interested in her. Usually they never have a clue. I’m really surprised that she talked about seeing me again and kept mentioning next time.

 

[Igetit!]

I should be able to get the women that go to my school; there is more than enough variety. I just need to figure out what the freaking trick is.

There is no "trick".

Max,you simply need to hit bottom. You need to get so frustrated,so "peeved",so dejected,so annoyed,you need to get to a place where you feel so hopeless,that you just throw your hands up and say,"Ok,that's it. That's enough. I'm desperate now.

I'm willing to try and and every solution the forum has to offer".


It seems like everytime someone gives you somesort of suggestion or offer you advice,you come up with some justification for not doing it,then you go out and make the same mistakes over and over again.


I get the feeling that if I or another member here were to tell you EXACTLY what to do,and I mean line by line,step by step,you'd still figure out a way to not do it.


You did the same thing with this girl as you did with the "nerd" girl who brought her friend along on your date with her,AND the girl from your "It ain't over yet" and "Should I end my friendship with this girl" threads.

The "how about a kiss" comment was a joke.

Really? So if she had said ok and moved in to try and kiss you,then you would have pulled back,laughed in her face,and said,"I don't want to kiss you,I was just kidding,lol.". Come on now.

I knew she would decline, though it’s also the first time in 5 years that I let a girl knew I wanted to kiss her.

You let her know you wanted to kiss her? Umm....but I thought it was just a joke?

It was the best way I could think of at the time to let her know that I was interested.

Telling a girl that you'd like to get to know her BEFORE asking her out might be ok ,(although that's something I'd NEVER say),but doing it while actually ON THE DATE,kinda gives off a fearful,nervous vibe.


You're suppsed to GET TO KNOW HER while ON THE DATE,not talk about getting to know her.

We talked more about us when I got her back to my place but by then I had zero confidence.

Zero confidence. And there's your date killer.

You said that it had got to zero by the end of the date,but from everything you wrote,it didn't appear to be all that high from the getgo.


And as we all know,women can sense this.

Being bold just doesn't resonate with me. I need some sign that my action will work. If she had said anything positive to me when I was sitting with her, I would have tired to kiss her.

This is where escalation comes in play.


Look,the end is generally already present from the beginning.


You said in an earlier post that you were "75% sure" that she knew it was a date,which to me meant that YOU WEREN'T 100% CLEAR in making your intentions known to her.


If BOTH OF YOU agreed to meet up together for the bike ride,how was it that YOU were the only one 100% certain that it was a date?


You did the same thing here as with the nerd girl,and the girl from last year.


You keep HIDING your true intentions.


You did it last year by hiding behind friendship
You did it with the nerd girl by hiding behind anime and comic books
And you did it with this girl by suggesting the innocent bike ride



If you want a date,then ask for a DATE.


You insisting on trying to avoid rejection gets you rejected.


Look,go ahead and listen to Falcon25.


I don't know what he has planned to say to you,but it has to be better than what you're been doing.

 

[Maxtro H & F]

There is no "trick".

Max,you simply need to hit bottom. You need to get so frustrated,so "peeved",so dejected,so annoyed,you need to get to a place where you feel so hopeless,that you just throw your hands up and say,"Ok,that's it. That's enough. I'm desperate now.

I'm willing to try and and every solution the forum has to offer".


It seems like everytime someone gives you somesort of suggestion or offer you advice,you come up with some justification for not doing it,then you go out and make the same mistakes over and over again.


I get the feeling that if I or another member here were to tell you EXACTLY what to do,and I mean line by line,step by step,you'd still figure out a way to not do it.

I just read over the thread and the only suggestions I got were to be bold and next time have drinks with her. That's all I got and it wasn't enough for me to work with.

As pathetic as it sounds, I basically need somebody to hold me hand the entire way so I don't fuck up.

The other thing mentioned is to read the bible and do a bootcamp. That's the kind of advice that people with no experience give.

It really seems like there is a trick to getting women. I know you disagree but it's the only explination that comes to mind.

You did the same thing with this girl as you did with the "nerd" girl who brought her friend along on your date with her,AND the girl from your "It ain't over yet" and "Should I end my friendship with this girl" threads.

I did? I was way more forward with this girl than the previous one. I was basically in charge for almost the whole thing. I just chocked when trying to get intimate. I was constantly flirting/teasing and definitely let my interest be known. I take it as being very different than with the first two girls.

Really? So if she had said ok and moved in to try and kiss you,then you would have pulled back,laughed in her face,and said,"I don't want to kiss you,I was just kidding,lol.". Come on now.

You let her know you wanted to kiss her? Umm....but I thought it was just a joke?

I said it as a joke, knowing what her reaction would be. If she played along, of course I would have gone for it.

Telling a girl that you'd like to get to know her BEFORE asking her out might be ok ,(although that's something I'd NEVER say),but doing it while actually ON THE DATE,kinda gives off a fearful,nervous vibe.

You're suppsed to GET TO KNOW HER while ON THE DATE,not talk about getting to know her.

I had no idea what to say to her, it was the only thing that came to my mind. I guess I could have, "I want to kiss you" then I would have gotten a different negative response from her, making everything more awkward.

You're right that I was fearful and nervous. I expected to get rejected.

Zero confidence. And there's your date killer.

You said that it had got to zero by the end of the date,but from everything you wrote,it didn't appear to be all that high from the getgo.

And as we all know,women can sense this.

Actually I was fine up until that crucial moment. I was leading but I just didn't have the guts to try and steal a kiss.

This is where escalation comes in play.

I have zero experience in escalation. I've only been intimate with one girl and that was 5 years ago. She made all the moves. I don't know how to do it.

You said in an earlier post that you were "75% sure" that she knew it was a date,which to me meant that YOU WEREN'T 100% CLEAR in making your intentions known to her.


If BOTH OF YOU agreed to meet up together for the bike ride,how was it that YOU were the only one 100% certain that it was a date?


You did the same thing here as with the nerd girl,and the girl from last year.


You keep HIDING your true intentions.

When I got lunch with her a couple of weeks ago. I felt that I was 100% clear that I was interested. I asked her if she was dating anybody and she asked the same of me. Then I told her that I wanted her number. If she didn't figure out my interest from that interaction then she's an idiot.

I was worried about the date because the time period from when I saw her last was so long. She also ignored my texts when I was on vacation. Frankly I'm amazed that I even got a hold of her and that she agreed to the date.

You did it last year by hiding behind friendship
You did it with the nerd girl by hiding behind anime and comic books
And you did it with this girl by suggesting the innocent bike ride

If you want a date,then ask for a DATE.

Aren't all day dates innocent? Isn't that the point? It was just something fun to do together that could lead to something more.

If things would have gone my way, I would have kissed her when we were sitting on the rocks, that's why I took her there. If she didn't have to leave early I would have insisted on watching a movie. And after having some drinks I would have tired to make out with her and that could have led to sex.

That would have been the best case scenario at 10 out of 10. Instead my time with her was basically a 6 out of 10.

You insisting on trying to avoid rejection gets you rejected.

What else can I do? I tried everything I could think of.

 

[Maxtro]

double post

 

[Maxtro]

So looking back, what am I supposed to learn from this experience? What can I do differently to improve my odds of success?

I really am getting tired of doing things in similar ways over and over.

Edit:

So I looked over both threads I made about the girl I was talking to in March and compared them to what I did with this current girl. I discovered that my general handling of the two girls was very different. I was much more flirty with this girl. I expressed lots of interest, did a lot of kino, teased her and used innuendo, led her around. My only mistake seems to be that I was too scared to try and kiss her. Knowing that we still had a 20 minute ride back to my place and a 20 minute drive to her house, I didn't want to make things too awkward by risking a kiss. Several years ago I had to drive a girl back to her place while she was completely pissed at me. Obviously it wasn't a good experience.

If this girl had shown any sexual attraction to me, I would have tried to kiss her. But she wasn't even making eye contact with me when we were together. There's no way I could have gone for a kiss.

Annoyingly this seems like another situation where a girl who wasn't that interested in me agreed to go on a date, just to avoid any confrontation. That seems absolutely retarded because she had tons of opportunities to make the date not even happen.

I'm kind of happy that it happened but it felt like a big fucking tease having a girl with me that I wasn't allowed to do anything with. I've been in my apartment for a year, and she's the first girl I had in it. And that's the closest I've ever gotten to having sex with a real girl in a very long time.

 

[corrector]

Maxtro needs to stop wasting his time and go to the gym and get a V-shaped torse with a six pack abs and a good chest and learn how to do so because if he needs to be good at some area, really good, so that it will compensate for his other deficiencies rather than being a total all around loser.

If he was a ripped muscular guy and had a good body, that would be an example of that - but I bet he is too lazy to go to the gym or get the type of protein rich diet to grow muscles and improve himself. Or, learn some humour and make women laugh so they will feel at ease with you and you are a funny guy.

Obviously, he is deficient and desperate at the same time, and the desperate vibes reak right through his posts. Rather than focus on having a fun time with a girl, he's worried about whether he kisses her or not, or that this is a long time he's ever dated someone and looks at the glass half empty. Where is he going to go like this? Writing more posts on here.

 

[Maxtro]

I know I shouldn't feed the trolls but I'm bored.

I go to the gym 3x a week and I'm about to work out in about 20 min from now. I'm currently in the middle of a bulking routine. Arms, chest, shoulders, legs are starting to look good. 6-pack abs aren't really possible till later down the line. I still want to gain 10 lbs before I work on cutting.

Nobody learns humor. My sense of humor is fine when I'm in a good mood.

Of course my posts have a depressed and desperate vibe. I'm not exactly living the best life. The only place I can even vent is online. I manage a strict image when I'm around people.

Thanks for posting

 

[DonJuan11]

So looking back, what am I supposed to learn from this experience? What can I do differently to improve my odds of success?

I really am getting tired of doing things in similar ways over and over.

Edit:

So I looked over both threads I made about the girl I was talking to in March and compared them to what I did with this current girl. I discovered that my general handling of the two girls was very different. I was much more flirty with this girl. I expressed lots of interest, did a lot of kino, teased her and used innuendo, led her around. My only mistake seems to be that I was too scared to try and kiss her. Knowing that we still had a 20 minute ride back to my place and a 20 minute drive to her house, I didn't want to make things too awkward by risking a kiss. Several years ago I had to drive a girl back to her place while she was completely pissed at me. Obviously it wasn't a good experience.

If this girl had shown any sexual attraction to me, I would have tried to kiss her. But she wasn't even making eye contact with me when we were together. There's no way I could have gone for a kiss.

Annoyingly this seems like another situation where a girl who wasn't that interested in me agreed to go on a date, just to avoid any confrontation. That seems absolutely retarded because she had tons of opportunities to make the date not even happen.

I'm kind of happy that it happened but it felt like a big fucking tease having a girl with me that I wasn't allowed to do anything with. I've been in my apartment for a year, and she's the first girl I had in it. And that's the closest I've ever gotten to having sex with a real girl in a very long time.

You must want to be a porn actor because you haven't told us you are good at ANYTHING other than dreaming about and wanting to have sex. My guess is that you watch and have tons of porn downloaded on your computer as well and play alot of 5 on 1.

Girls get turned on by guys' MINDS and who can TEACH them something. Guys who have experience in life, who are constantly learning about the world, history, fashion, finance, construction, banking, languages. Why do you think girls doctors, lawyers, bankers, and not porn actors? Because they have used to MINDS to get where they are at, not their bodies.

You didn't teach that girl ANYTHING the whole time you were with her; all you did was to tell her how available you are on the weekends (watching sex videos), and asking for some physical affection at the end (read: I watch porn).

 

[corrector]

I know I shouldn't feed the trolls but I'm bored.

Maybe you are the troll here. Always have the same problem on here. Seems you get more attention than real solutions to your problem on here.

I go to the gym 3x a week and I'm about to work out in about 20 min from now. I'm currently in the middle of a bulking routine. Arms, chest, shoulders, legs are starting to look good. 6-pack abs aren't really possible till later down the line. I still want to gain 10 lbs before I work on cutting.

Good. So keep that up and then women will notice your body and want to be sexual with you. Also eat celery and things that will help with natural pheromones.

I think you don't look hot enough right now to compensate for your deficiencies, maybe in time that will compensate.

Nobody learns humor. My sense of humor is fine when I'm in a good mood.

Then suffer with your attitude, which is the only thing it really seems you are good at doing. You become a troll now because you do not want to improve yourself when suggestions are being offered.

You obviously have problems disarming and building rapport with women to the point they really like you and feel comfortable with you. One of the ways of doing this is humour.

Of course my posts have a depressed and desperate vibe. I'm not exactly living the best life. The only place I can even vent is online. I manage a strict image when I'm around people.

It doesn't matter what image you try to manage because what you are posting here must be coming out in some way and people are reading it in your body language, etc....

It's hard to imagine you disarmed this girl that you were with if she didn't manage to have eye contact with you the whole time and you feel she was bullied into having a date with you. Something doesn't add up with that.
Either you are a troll, or you are off on a fundamental.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

In a couple days me and a girl I met in school are going to have a little bike ride together. I'm 75% sure she knows that day is going to be a date.

A couple of weeks ago we got lunch together and had a good conversation. Towards the end we talked about our dating situations I then told her that I want her number and I got it. From our interaction I believe that I sufficiently expressed my interest in her for her to know that I'm interested but I could be wrong.

I've been out of town for a while and she's been busy with a school project so Thursday is the soonest that we can get together. I'm going to treat Thursday like it's a date, could technically be date 2.

My current plan is to drive to her house, pick her up and throw her bike in my car. Take her back to my apartment to get my bike. Then ride to the beach path which is a ten minute ride away. I'll briefly invite her inside to grab my pump and I'll offer her some water.

I have to decide which way to take her. We can either ride along the beach path to downtown where there are restaurants and an arcade or we can go the opposite direction and ride to the rock jetty which sticks out pretty far in the ocean. It seems like a great place to try and kiss her.

After that we'll get some food and end up back at my place to drop of the bikes.

Right now I'm trying to decide on what time of day is best, which direction to go, how long to ride for and what to do afterwords if anything.

Does my tentative plan seem like a good idea? Any ways I can improve it?

How about just go for a fun bike ride and have a a good time. All this planning will make you come across as stiffer than Al Gore. Be open to anything. Don't plan the time at your house too much. In fact, it doesn't really matter. By the end, if not during, your time together, you should know what type of interest she has in you.

 

[Igetit!]

It doesn't matter what image you try to manage because what you are posting here must be coming out in some way and people are reading it in your body language, etc....

Freakin' BANG ON.


+1 REP.

 

[Maxtro]

Maybe you are the troll here. Always have the same problem on here. Seems you get more attention than real solutions to your problem on here.

Sssssssiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhh

I'm desperately trying to get my life in order so I don't become the next George Sodini

You're right that I pretty much have the same problem over and over. You know what. The pattern is the same. I meet a girl, get somewhat close to her. I make a thread about her. Get little to no advice on the situation. Once things go bad with her, everybody shows up and jumps on me. Hindsight is 20/20.

There are a few stand up guys who post quality advice but the vast majority of posts are from keyboard jockeys who tell me to read the bible and do a bootcamp :crackup:

I think you don't look hot enough right now to compensate for your deficiencies, maybe in time that will compensate.

Great, another looks matters guy

Then suffer with your attitude, which is the only thing it really seems you are good at doing. You become a troll now because you do not want to improve yourself when suggestions are being offered.

What suggestions? I'm already doing the ones that are actually valid.

You obviously have problems disarming and building rapport with women to the point they really like you and feel comfortable with you. One of the ways of doing this is humour.

I am very good at rapport and building comfort. The very fact that I'm having dates with women should be proof about that. Building attraction is a very different matter.

It doesn't matter what image you try to manage because what you are posting here must be coming out in some way and people are reading it in your body language, etc....

That may be the case. I don't feel negative at all when I'm around women, but they be able to detect that something is wrong. I really don't know. If that's the case, then what can I do?

It's hard to imagine you disarmed this girl that you were with if she didn't manage to have eye contact with you the whole time and you feel she was bullied into having a date with you. Something doesn't add up with that.
Either you are a troll, or you are off on a fundamental.

You misunderstood. When we were sitting on a rock in the jetty she was looking out toward the ocean (while wearing my sunglasses, the wind was making her eyes water), when we were talking. Actually now that I think about it, the sunglasses really got in the way. I really don't remember if she was looking at me or not because I couldn't make eye contact with her, and I didn't get any "kiss me" signals. There was plenty of eye contact when we got back to my place, when she was sitting with me on the couch.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Sssssssiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhh

I'm desperately trying to get my life in order so I don't become the next George Sodini

You're right that I pretty much have the same problem over and over. You know what. The pattern is the same. I meet a girl, get somewhat close to her. I make a thread about her. Get little to no advice on the situation. Once things go bad with her, everybody shows up and jumps on me. Hindsight is 20/20.

There are a few stand up guys who post quality advice but the vast majority of posts are from keyboard jockeys who tell me to read the bible and do a bootcamp :crackup:

Great, another looks matters guy

Ummm....girls spend **** loads of money on themselves and like to take their precious time to get ready. They at least expect their man to look sharp and take pride in his looks.


What suggestions? I'm already doing the ones that are actually valid.


I am very good at rapport and building comfort. The very fact that I'm having dates with women should be proof about that. Building attraction is a very different matter.

You should be focusing on building attraction first then rapport/comfort, probably gets a bit monotonous when a girl gets asked a whole bunch of questions at first like it's some sort of interview....boring!

That may be the case. I don't feel negative at all when I'm around women, but they be able to detect that something is wrong. I really don't know. If that's the case, then what can I do?




You misunderstood. When we were sitting on a rock in the jetty she was looking out toward the ocean (while wearing my sunglasses, the wind was making her eyes water), when we were talking. Actually now that I think about it, the sunglasses really got in the way. I really don't remember if she was looking at me or not because I couldn't make eye contact with her, and I didn't get any "kiss me" signals. There was plenty of eye contact when we got back to my place, when she was sitting with me on the couch.

Chics want that romantic kiss/sex the first time especially. Sounded like you had a nice surrounding...I would have said **** it and grabbed her gently by the back of the head and kissed her so good she wouldn't want to resist. If you get shut down oh well you act undeterred...like "whatever" move on, who knows that same chic could be giving you a late night call in a week or two but by then you will have 1-2 more girls you're talking tooo.....well I hope so at least

 

[amoka]

You have been here for at least 6 years. If you don't know how to initiate a kiss from a woman, it is your own damn problem. Keep on masturbating to porn and you're on your way to become the next Sodini.

What do you want people here to do? Spoon feed you? Stop wasting people's time if you're not going to listen to them.

 

[FairShake]

How old is this woman? I gather you're in school...college girls aren't lusting after guys they go bike riding with. Riding a bike is cool, don't get me wrong, and would be a great activity to do with a girl friend or an older woman, but you have to play along with them.

Watching movies and drinking would be a far better date for a girl like this. For what it's worth, you just said you tried to kiss a girl for the first time in 5 years. That's progress whether you know it or not. Can't expect to come in fresh off the bench. You have to warm up first. Consider this part of your warm ups and a learning exercise.