Giving girl space to chase you

[wifehunter]

I like smart ladies!

Have a burrito!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Was it painful, guys? I couldn't bring myself to engage in those walls o' text...

 

[lizardking82]

What I find utterly fascinating about this whole chat is that this, in NO way, illustrates another one of the concepts here - the idea that a man is supposed to LEAD in a relationship.

I was reading a thread about a month ago and came to understand that, what that really means - the idea the man is to LEAD in a relationship IS that the male is supposed to set the tempo for the relationship and that INCLUDED the effectiveness/style of communication that is to take place. In other words, the man is supposed to set the manner in which the partners communicate with each other.

So you 'lead' into a relationship with push/pull, deliberate emotional fluctuation, arranged avoidance.... this sets the tempo for the communication style of the partnership. You deliberately dont respond for 6 hours - that creates the idea that it's perfectly okay for her to do the same. You LEAD and deliberately make yourself scarce - greenlight for her to do the same.

The problem comes when you lie about it all (as is suggested here) You lead into the relationship with a lie, and then....she's taking a long time to respond, being scarce, running hot and cold.... Is that her reciprocating the communication style that you, as a man, led with? Because YOU modeled it. Is that her playung the game back atcha? Or is that her, not really interested?

You'll never know because you, as the man, this is what you lead with, you created the model of communication for this relationship.

I expect a bunch of push back for this post, whatevs. You guys seem to lack, or simply want to ignore, deep understanding of people in some areas, psychologically speaking. There's always a lot of surface talk here. Superficial.

Features like you describe generally go with men who want to lead but don't have a clear idea on how to do it. Different people have different leading styles and there will always be women to submit to different styles of leading. Some women find this power game viable and OK because this is what they saw their parents exercise.

What I think you don't fully grasp is the idea that while a man is expected to and should lead in his own way, you are trying to lead a creature who has lived 20 or 25 or 30 or more years with other kinds of leaders in her life, all of whom have left footprints in her mind as to how the right kind of leading seems. You come in with your own style and you try to impose something new. Even if you are a high value man, you will have resistance in one way or another with most women unless you are dating 16 or 17 or 18 year olds who have practically just seen their father's way of leading and are not yet mature enough to understand what it is all about. Leading is a two way thing. You could be a good leader to certain people because their upbringing fits your way of leadership more and at the same time, other people might find your leading style as bad or weak. Doesn't make you a bad leader. It makes you a good leader in the "x" leading style and a worse/bad leader in other leading styles.

Furthermore, no matter if you're playing power games or are truly busy working for 6 hours and don't reply, there is no way for her to know this. If you get to the stage where you have to explain this to her, as a man, you're being explanatory and that is weak and not necessary.

 

[Reykhel]

I like smart ladies!

Have a burrito!

That's so gay. Just saying.

 

[sazc]

What I think you don't fully grasp is the idea that while a man is expected to and should lead in his own way,

I do actually fully grasp that idea and, to take it one step further, it's helpful if the man needs to find a female that is compatible with, can follow, and mimic, his style of leadership. specifically creating artificial attraction isn't going to cause this to occur.

you are trying to lead a creature who has lived 20 or 25 or 30 or more years with other kinds of leaders in her life, all of whom have left footprints in her mind as to how the right kind of leading seems.

While your words have truth, the reality is that the only leadership that really matters was the dynamic that played out in the persons household as they were growing up. It is true that nature does play a role in pruning a person, but nurture, in terms of how someone handles partnerships at their core, plays the biggest role. Nature can cause a person to emotionally evolve - if they are introspective. In fact, nurture can cause a person to emotionally evolve - if they were lucky to have someone in their lives that modeled being self introspective, and taught them how to lead that train from within themself

You come in with your own style and you try to impose something new. Even if you are a high value man, you will have resistance in one way or another with most women unless you are dating 16 or 17 or 18 year olds who have practically just seen their father's way of leading and are not yet mature enough to understand what it is all about. Leading is a two way thing. You could be a good leader to certain people because their upbringing fits your way of leadership more and at the same time, other people might find your leading style as bad or weak. Doesn't make you a bad leader. It makes you a good leader in the "x" leading style and a worse/bad leader in other leading styles.

I dont disagree

Was it painful, guys? I couldn't bring myself to engage in those walls o' text...

normal communication can be difficult, even confusing, if you arent used to it, for sure

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

What I find utterly fascinating about this whole chat is that this, in NO way, illustrates another one of the concepts here - the idea that a man is supposed to LEAD in a relationship.

I was reading a thread about a month ago and came to understand that, what that really means - the idea the man is to LEAD in a relationship IS that the male is supposed to set the tempo for the relationship and that INCLUDED the effectiveness/style of communication that is to take place. In other words, the man is supposed to set the manner in which the partners communicate with each other.

So you 'lead' into a relationship with push/pull, deliberate emotional fluctuation, arranged avoidance.... this sets the tempo for the communication style of the partnership. You deliberately dont respond for 6 hours - that creates the idea that it's perfectly okay for her to do the same. You LEAD and deliberately make yourself scarce - greenlight for her to do the same.

The problem comes when you lie about it all (as is suggested here) You lead into the relationship with a lie, and then....she's taking a long time to respond, being scarce, running hot and cold.... Is that her reciprocating the communication style that you, as a man, led with? Because YOU modeled it. Is that her playung the game back atcha? Or is that her, not really interested?

You'll never know because you, as the man, this is what you lead with, you created the model of communication for this relationship.

I expect a bunch of push back for this post, whatevs. You guys seem to lack, or simply want to ignore, deep understanding of people in some areas, psychologically speaking. There's always a lot of surface talk here. Superficial.

Yes, it is the difference between authenticity, and trying to represent that. This is the flaw of game. The better way is to take a more natural approach, where you see where you are, and then slowly move in reality to where you would like to be.... self-development and self determination. Representation of something you aren't is delusional, and is likely to be picked up by a QUALITY SMART woman.

As for the process of courtship, it is best compared to a dance... where the man leads. Interesting that the ritual of dance has been lost today. It is art... and art involves the 'unfolding' of potentiality. A lot of people do not get it as they are habituated to a scientific view of things. They want to represent reality to themselves, and this is always a false or limited representation.

 

[sazc]

And what of the guy that doesn't need to do this stuff to attract women?

I'm not sure what you are asking (cultural difference, use of the word 'of' in that way) so I dont feel I can respond in a solid manner (if hat wasnt rhetorical)

How about the guy that uses this stuff as one big experiment of his own nature.

Fasc-uh-fvcking-nating if that is what he is doing! People are fascinating, then way they choose to behave, etc.
To be honest, I only get the feeling that you use these techniques in this manner - controlling your game, purposefully test, hone and refining your skill set.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. Women need feeling and sincerity.

I always pull for what I am. Can't hide sh*t with women really anyway. I've had women send me angry messages telling me exactly what I am, and they are 90% correct.

Game is always about the man, rather than the woman. Which is why I always go on about inner-game.

You're mistake is to think it's all about you, the woman.

I dont think it's all about the female. I think it should be about people having mutual interest in the same outcome and a degree of compatibility.
It's frustrating to watch the 'advice' being given on here and then to see women be called gutter rats because the advice didnt pan out the way it was supposed to. You push puled and it didnt work? She's a gutter rat.

 

[RangerMIke]

Lol, I can hear it now...

"I ignored and responded slowly to texts slowly, limited t availability, played aloof and then showed extreme affection (sent signals like I only wanted her physically) and she eventually stopped responding to me all together. I did everything you said and she dumped me, why?"

"She's a branch swinger"
"She's riding the c0ck carousel"
Etc
Etc
Etc

Someone JUST posted a thread literally saying they practiced all of these "techniques" and the female started to feel insecure and pull away.

Girls with self esteem (you know, the kind that offer sanity and stability) ain't gonna respond to this BS. But have at it!

Yep I agree... I see this all the time. The reason guys complain when sh!t isn't working is because they are behaving in a way expecting some results. You don't act like a DJ as techniques to get chicks, you act like a DJ because that is what you are.

You don't respond to texts right away because you are really busy with your purpose and other girls.
You limit availability because your time is valuable, you are making a living/studying, and she's just one of many chicks you are interested in.
You act like you want her because you do... you don't act like you need her because she's just one of many.

You do all this and if she chases you then she likes you... if she doesn't... so what... on to the next one. Why she doesn't like you is not relevant... stop worrying about it. All you need to know is at that particular moment in time, you are a low priority. You don't walk away hoping she comes back, you walk away because you don't want waist time and energy worrying about a chick that you don;t have a chance with.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I do actually fully grasp that idea and, to take it one step further, it's helpful if the man needs to find a female that is compatible with, can follow, and mimic, his style of leadership. specifically creating artificial attraction isn't going to cause this to occur.

Ah, but that would involve the male being in control of himself, and not drooling over every floosie that walks by. Perhaps a gamer is simply someone who is the plaything of their own passions, and it's these that call the shots.

 

[wifehunter]

Was it painful, guys? I couldn't bring myself to engage in those walls o' text...

Not really. I skim, looking for gold nuggets.

Sometimes, I find big ones!!!

 

[Charmaine]

All you need to know is at that particular moment in time, you are a low priority.

Yes, that's all women need to know to walk away. Those who stay are those with low self-esteem. Never put a man a higher priority than what they put you. If a man takes one week to respond, then respond in double amount of that time, or next.

 

[Charmaine]

She doesn't want to be your primary focus in life.

Not true. I want to be my man's primary focus, but he should have other things going on in his life.

She wants to be wanted, not needed.

Half true. I want to be both wanted and needed, but the guy shouldn't be too clingy or constantly dump all his problems onto me.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Any female who responds as described to the type of treatment detailed above is a female with serious issues, and is going to end up being a headache in the long run.

Good luck with all that.

So how would you give a woman space to chase?

 

[Juanto]

Listening to women about how to deal with women.... good luck with that.

 

[slimshady]

Brothers I am from India nd was reading your duscussion from few days. nd lemme tel u that u people rock. really you understand The Woman's Psycology to the core.
Guess why W.B. yeats (the great nobel laureate of literature) never got successful with the love of her life Maud Gonne, cuz he just always kept running after her. As Atom smasher said these should not be followed like axioms. he is totally right. every girl is different but their psycology is all the same.
Thank u all for giving me a gospel for life.

 

[sazc]

Ah, but that would involve the male being in control of himself, and not drooling over every floosie that walks by.

lol, a girl can dream

Brothers I am from India nd was reading your duscussion from few days. nd lemme tel u that u people rock. really you understand The Woman's Psycology to the core.
Guess why W.B. yeats (the great nobel laureate of literature) never got successful with the love of her life Maud Gonne, cuz he just always kept running after her. As Atom smasher said these should not be followed like axioms. he is totally right. every girl is different but their psycology is all the same.
Thank u all for giving me a gospel for life.

lol, talk about an existing member creating a new account to troll.... pathetic

 

[bigneil]

• Giving her space is as simple as letting her do 80% of the text initiating (after 3 months of dating, before that it's about 50/50).
• It means occasionally waiting for a week or two to hear from her, but knowing everything is ok.
• It means having other options so you don't pester her.
• It means never sending date reminders.
• It means shutting your phone off for a few days sometimes.
• It means never being the first to text after a date.
• It means being willing to walk away and never look back.
• It means having the ability to meet other women on her level.
• It means never being the first to ask for a commitment.
• It means never arguing with her.
• It means never complaining, except when you are calling her on her BS.
• It means not being attached to the outcome. You are happy with her, and just as happy without her.
• It means giving from the heart without any expectations.
• It means keeping the relationship in balance and never getting too invested.

 

[sazc]

So how would you give a woman space to chase?

As I said before - have a life. Have interests. You dont have to be needy and you can be cautious about rolling out emotions, etc but be authentic. If you are sitting watching tv and a text comes in, dont kneejerk about replying immediately, do take a bit to consider what you can reply with, how to make it interesting, fun, flirty, and then hit send.

Do you work? Do you go to school? Do you study? Do you go to the gym? Do you drive? Do you socialize? If so, these are the times that you should consider yourself 'unavailable' and, even if the phone rings or you get a text, you focus on and finish your legitimate business before you engage. This is also how you set up legitimate boundaries from the beginning. Any person whm is not going to be respectful that you are otherwise engaged in legitimate activities is a person whom is, ultimately, going to be too needy.

As far as love bombing and then pulling back as a form of creating artificial attraction - the idea that members would suggest that other members display the traits of people wih borderline personality disorder "love bombing and withdrawing" makes me shake my head and wonder what mental issues those members struggle with.

Consider being physically engaged and escalating in a manner that is in line with what you want, what she is willing to submit to. Continue to escalate as you go along and give her small, inconsequential, pieces of emotion to let her know you are invested to a point.

 

[The Duke]

I copied a few laws from the 48 Laws of Power that all relate to the push/pull dynamics that evoke responses in females. No pua "tricks" here! Just psychology and human nature. Shame on those "broken people" that these "tricks" work on and shame on those that use them! Shame Shame Shame Shame Shame ;-)


Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary


When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make

your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous

gains – then attack. You hold the cards.


Learn to Keep People Dependent on You


To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are

relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and

prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without

you.


Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability


Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s

actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately

unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them offbalance,

and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme,

this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.



Do Not Commit to Anyone


It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.

By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against

one another, making them pursue you.


Stir up Waters to Catch Fish


Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and

objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a

decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which

you can rattle them and you hold the strings.



Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others


Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into

wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And

the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften

up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they

fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.


Assume Formlessness


By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form

for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing

is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as

water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.

 

[slimshady]

@sazc are u crazy? First of all I am not anyone from that thread who created an account just to troll you. believe me, it doesn't seems that anyone among those have that much time. Second stop blabbering like a girl just to prove your point. The thing is that if you do not agree with the majority then you should just ignore them. Don't just argue pointless. I didn't even knew this thread, i saw it on google when i searched "ignoring her calls and texts". so i started reading it and the majority of the advices are really true.
Its true that you should have a life in real not just to pretend but it is also true that whatever those people said is not at all wrong.