Girls who seem interested but are actually naively nice?

[Maxtro]

I posted a thread on my latest misadventures with a girl over on a different relationship forum.

It basically chronicled my thoughts how I was starting to think that she might be interested but I had been in this situation before and didn’t know if she was just being friendly. Last time it happened to me, the girl ended up having a boyfriend.

Well after I got rejected by her, a female poster said

IMO she is about 19 and she is just too naive and friendly. She has no idea of what is on your mind. I think this way because she is too too friendly. If she had a real interest in you, she would be afraid of being so friendly.

Do her words make any sense?

 

[MainDroite]

Happens to me all the time.

Some girls just have no goddamn clue about your intentions unless you tell them directly, but then your plan is ****ed because a plan is better off concealed.

My best female friend is one of these. I found out only a month and a half after starting to hang out with her that she had a boyfriend. That could have been real bad had she not told me. Later on she admitted to have thought of me as having potential, but her stable romantic life was more appealing it seems. I also had a real bad case o'one-itis for another friend earlier, and she also admitted having had thought about giving a try, but I think in this case the friendship was really just too important for her. I'm almost assured that every girl, even "friends", have considered you as a potential BF at some point.

Tripping on a clueless girl might have some benefits, though. Might make it easier for you to "sneak in" some kino, joke around with sexual double-meanings, etc. I think it's mostly about putting yourself in HER head instead of her in yours.

For example, I have a friend I ended up sleeping with. We were together at this awesome karaoke night and I just told her at some point "come on. You don't have to be afraid to tell me I'm not taking you home tonight". She blew me off that night, but the trap was set. There was a sexual tension every time we were alone. Guess what happened 3 months later?

 

[st_99]

Happens all the time. I do it myself, I'll be friendly and (unknowingly) flirty with some banged up chick that I have no intentions of hooking up with. Then they'll start liking me cuz they think I like them.

Its just being social and girls do this sort of thing all the time because they usually have a more bubbly personality than guys do. So in turn we read too much into it. Bottom line is, until you're actually banging her, assume nothing. And even if you hit it once, you still need more info.

 

[st_99]

Also, sometimes girls do actually have a little interest in you but not sky high where you can do no wrong. If your game is decent, you can work with that and make things happen.

So its not always us overreacting.

 

[Maxtro]

Its just being social and girls do this sort of thing all the time because they usually have a more bubbly personality than guys do. So in turn we read too much into it. Bottom line is, until you're actually banging her, assume nothing.

Crap!

So how am I supposed to tell if I actually have a chance with a girl?

I read bubbly and fun to interact with as potentially interested.

So on Monday I suggested that we go get lunch after class but because of the circumstances she couldn't go and rescheduled to today. And once today came it's like she actually got a clue and realized I didn't want to be friends.

Some girls just have no goddamn clue about your intentions unless you tell them directly, but then your plan is ****ed because a plan is better off concealed.

I wonder if I should just do that. Tell a bitch that I want to fuck her. That way she can reject me right then, instead of going on a date then finally getting a clue.

It just really sucks thinking that I actually have a chance with a bitch then shit happens.

God! I keep finding new ways to fail

 

[st_99]

Crap!

So how am I supposed to tell if I actually have a chance with a girl?

I read bubbly and fun to interact with as potentially interested.

You just identified every single guys problem in this entire world. How do I know if she likes me?!?

And there will never be a clear answer other than to flirt and express interest in her the best way you know how and then see what happens. Thats all.

 

[Maxtro]

You just identified every single guys problem in this entire world. How do I know if she likes me?!?

And there will never be a clear answer other than to flirt and express interest in her the best way you know how and then see what happens. Thats all.

The problem is that I'm actually able to make dates and sometimes actually go on a couple.

What happens with that is that I get my hopes up and become excited. Then I get devastated when they cancel or friendzone me.

Roughly this time last year I had scheduled a date with a girl that I REALLY liked. When the day comes, she actually showed up with a guy friend and I was third wheeling the whole time. The next day I saw her on campus she told me that she didn't want to date. I never did learn why she agreed to the date and why she didn't bother to cancel instead of letting it happen on and giving me a horrible day.

 

[cablecow15]

Girls are always oblivious to what guys are up to , i always see other guys doin stuff that seems so obvious , yet girls never seem to catch on , when i was younger (more AFC) i had alot og girls that a talked to as friends ,and when they talked about guys ,it was so obvious to me what the guy actually meant , but they just seem to go along with it. it amazes me how simple it is to under stand the way a man thinks , but some girls have just as hard of a time understanding us as we do understanding them.

so just do what you do , some women will catch on , and some will be oblivious , you never know till u try

 

[ARrocket]

I wonder if I should just do that. Tell a bitch that I want to fuck her.

This is exactly what you should be doing. Through your ACTIONS, not your words. You have to be sexual with her. You have to be a sexual threat. If you are a sexual threat and she continues her "friendliness," the game is yours.

 

[Maxtro]

You have to be a sexual threat.

And here I am again.

That's the same thing as telling a white belt that in order to beat a black belt, he must be a karate master.

Somebody really needs to write a guide on how to be a sexual threat.

Guys with no sexual experience don't have a clue how to do it. I'd have a better chance using a kamehameha.

 

[Mike32ct]

The most common reason for a girl being friendly is she's taken. It's a cruel reality that the most friendly, bubbly girls are that way often because they have a steady boyfriend, husband, or at a minimum some kind of secret FB stored in her iPhone. In short, the happy girl is typically happy because she's getting laid.

Or it could just be a regional cultural thing. In the South or Midwest:

Mike: Hey what's up?
HB South or Midwest: HEY

Back home in northeast:

Mike: Hey what's up?
HB Connecticut: <eyeroll and back turn>

Anyway, all joking aside, Maxtro, friendly is good. Just don't read into it too much because friendly and attracted are two separate things. You just have to make a move on the friendly chick to find out if she's really interested (and single) or not. It sounds like you asked her out. We don't have the full thread that you posted on the other relationship site, so I can't give specific advice.

 

[ecko280]

this is why i love MODE ONE. You tell the girl that you are interested. You find out right away if she is or not interested in you.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Girls always do this in areas where they know I can't isolate, like work. I mean, I'm thinking or saying, "You mean right here??" Sh!t I'd do it at work if I really thought I could get away with some accusation leveled against me...I'd just hire I high-priced lawyer and then countersuit.

 

[ARrocket]

And here I am again.

That's the same thing as telling a white belt that in order to beat a black belt, he must be a karate master.

Somebody really needs to write a guide on how to be a sexual threat.

Guys with no sexual experience don't have a clue how to do it. I'd have a better chance using a kamehameha.

haha maybe if I get all my homework done I'll give it a stab.

Have you read this?

Some of the stuff is hard to imagine doing, but it maybe gives you an idea? Anyway, watch some James Bond movies, see how he acts. I think kino is the most important thing, and I don't mean give her a hug when you see her, I mean the playful touching, the poking, pushing, hair-pulling, etc. Make sexual jokes while doing it, wait for her reaction. Ya know?

 

[Maxtro]

The most common reason for a girl being friendly is she's taken. It's a cruel reality that the most friendly, bubbly girls are that way often because they have a steady boyfriend, husband, or at a minimum some kind of secret FB stored in her iPhone. In short, the happy girl is typically happy because she's getting laid.

That is so messed up but it makes sense.

The last time it happened was with a girl in my salsa class. She was super friendly, flirty, and a blast to dance with. On the day I was going to ask her out, I had a conversation with her asking how her weekend was; and she said she went to a party with her BF...

Anyway, all joking aside, Maxtro, friendly is good. Just don't read into it too much because friendly and attracted are two separate things. You just have to make a move on the friendly chick to find out if she's really interested (and single) or not. It sounds like you asked her out. We don't have the full thread that you posted on the other relationship site, so I can't give specific advice.

Even if friendly and attracted are two different things, I can't tell them apart. So I do what you said, make a move on the friendly chick and hope I get lucky.

Which makes me think that my approach is too friendly, which confuses the friendly girl into thinking I want to be friends.

I need to figure out how to be sexual without being crude or ceepy.

ARrocket, I haven't read it yet. Didn't see your post until I made mine. I'll post an update soon.

 

[The_411]

Maxtro,

The best advice about women I got from my father regarding the how do I know if they like me question was ....

"Assume they like you until they say they don't"

 

[runner83]

For gawd's sake, stop your fvckin' whining and do the following:

- Judge girls by her actions, not by words (refer link in my sig)

- Schedule dates for night, NOT during the day

- Escalate s 8====) xually and you will find out soon enough whether she is interested or not.

 

[DjVita]

Lol my best friend asked ME last night whether I liked her and I told her I love her as a friend max its easy to be sexual stop being afraid to be "creepy" be a man look deep into her eyes dont be nervous around her

 

[Pimp-sicle]

For gawd's sake, stop your fvckin' whining and do the following:

- Judge girls by her actions, not by words (refer link in my sig)

- Schedule dates for night, NOT during the day

- Escalate s 8====) xually and you will find out soon enough whether she is interested or not.

Your literally like your name Runner, always beating me to the punch! LOL


But seriously Runner is spot on, all you guys and the OP sound like a big bunch of clueless chumps. Here me out before you get mad.

If your confused about a woman's interest in you its YOUR FAULT! Why you might be thinking? Because IF you do your job right from the get go:

a) flirting
b) seduction
c) creating attraction and amplifying it

You will never be confused about where she stands in relation to you. Women with bf's cheat on them ALL THE TIME! Do you think the guys that seduce these type of women know or care that the girl has a bf? NO! Do you think they stopped in their tracks when the girl casually mentions she has a bf? NOOOO! Yeah to each their own and I don't go out hunting for girls with bfs, but the reality is while many guys are in relationships, very few guys know how to keep that woman interested.

I'm not saying there are never cases where a woman flirts with you and then acts clueless when you show interest, it does happen, BUT ITS RARE.

What's more common is this scenario:

You meet a girl your attracted to, she might be attracted to you as well in the beginning. As you spend more time with her, you don't amplify the initial attraction and she starts to lose interest. All the while YOU are still interested and perhaps your interest in growing. Think of it like Economics 101: When one person's interest is fading, the other's is growing.

Then by the time you get with the program and try and make a bold move, she tells you a variety of reasons why she can't go out with you:

-i have a bf
-i just started dating someone recently
-i think your great, but only as a friend


You get the picture...... Stop making this more complicated than it is, that's all I see on this main board now days. I bunch of guys new to the game, taking every rule literally or still clueless, then blaming the GIRL for the OWN FAILURE to understand just exactly how attraction works.


If I had my wish Dating Dynamics would be a elective course in college; specifically aimed at teaching the average guy how the game works.





PIMP

 

[Maxtro]

But seriously Runner is spot on, all you guys and the OP sound like a big bunch of clueless chumps. Here me out before you get mad.

LOL! You've been a member since 2003 and you don't know who I am?

I'm the board's resident clueless chump.

If your confused about a woman's interest in you its YOUR FAULT! Why you might be thinking? Because IF you do your job right from the get go:

a) flirting
b) seduction
c) creating attraction and amplifying it

You will never be confused about where she stands in relation to you.

How is that?

Women with bf's cheat on them ALL THE TIME! Do you think the guys that seduce these type of women know or care that the girl has a bf? NO! Do you think they stopped in their tracks when the girl casually mentions she has a bf? NOOOO!

I'm not the kind of guy who seduces woman so I wouldn't know. I've also never had a GF to cheat on me.

I'm not saying there are never cases where a woman flirts with you and then acts clueless when you show interest, it does happen, BUT ITS RARE.

It seems to happen pretty frequently to me. Unless the girl never was flirting and I just assumed she was.

What's more common is this scenario:

You meet a girl your attracted to, she might be attracted to you as well in the beginning. As you spend more time with her, you don't amplify the initial attraction and she starts to lose interest. All the while YOU are still interested and perhaps your interest in growing. Think of it like Economics 101: When one person's interest is fading, the other's is growing.

Then by the time you get with the program and try and make a bold move, she tells you a variety of reasons why she can't go out with you:

Yeah, I think I've been in that situation. I just don't know if chicks have been interested.

That's all I see on this main board now days. I see a bunch of guys new to the game, taking every rule literally or still clueless, then blaming the GIRL for the OWN FAILURE to understand just exactly how attraction works.

Eh, I don't think the girl is blameless.

She shows up in dance class after missing a few sessions, I say, "Haven't seen you in a while." She looks at me smiles and hugs me. "Yeah I've been sleeping in.

After class is over.

Me: "Hey you have to come to class next week."
Her: "Yeah, I've been slacking off. Are you going to stay for the next class?"
Me: "Nope, I got to go."
She looks disappointed. Gives me a hug again. "Ok see you."

Next time I see her in class I invite her out to lunch and she says that she love to but she can only eat at the dorms since she doesn't have any money. Since I don't dorm, I'd have to pay cash to eat, and I didn't have any on me. We make plans to get lunch after the next class day.

Next class, she basically avoids me. Once class is over, I ask her if she still wants to go, and now she's too busy

Was she interested, leading me on, clueless? I have no idea.

If I had my wish Dating Dynamics would be a elective course in college; specifically aimed at teaching the average guy how the game works.

I would love to take that course. Hell it should be taught in high school as well.

I've managed to get this old without figuring out the basics and with the rate I'm going, I don't know if I ever will.