Girls sleeping with you quickly is not a good thing

[Pandora]

Much of seduction is focused on getting a girl to sleep with you as quickly as possible. I have found that i become depressed when a girl sleeps with me quickly. This is because i know that it will not usually work out. Girls that sleep with men very quickly are usually very impulsive. Easy come....easy go. Their interest in you was quick and intense. Just like that they will be able to become emotionally frigid. This is especially true if they dont run into you at all in their everyday existence.

9/10 times a girl that sleeps with you the first night is not emotionally stable. Even girls that sleep with you within the first few encounters are not emotionally stable. They always have some catch. This sucks because it takes a long time for a guy to get good enough to even have a girl sleep with him early. All of the manosphere advice encourages this.

The ideal situation is a girl that shows consistent high interest, but has the emotional maturity to gradually escalate the physicality. These are the girls that stick around the longest. But they are also the rarest.

Now when i sleep with a girl very quickly i become depressed while laying the bed. This is because i know that this will not last ( this was not true say 10 yrs ago). She is either BPD, or she is very emotionally capricious and impulsive. These are not good traits. Now there are exceptions and i have found them. But this is rare.

If they are emotionally healthy and they sleep with you early they often get buyers remorse and feel guilty. They will then ignore your texts even if you are a great guy. Its like you cant win. The game is rigged. If you sleep with them too soon you lose. You sleep with them too late..you lose. You dont sleep with them at all....you really lose. I am just about done. Maybe MGTOW guys where not so crazy after all.

 

[AlexKaiser]

You might be attributing too much of their actions to your self worth.

Making sex the be-all-end-all of your life. Don't do it.

Girls are supposed to be the "nice thing" on the side, not the main dish. If you don't have one devotedly cooking for you and being typical housewife, or sliding her lips up and down your thing in the morning, or even just being a free toilet for you to use when you're bored, THAT IS FINE. That is not the point of YOUR journey. A bunch of guys booing at you for not scratching hundreds of lines on a chalk board, or racking up numbers on your "Girls Meatyholes Drilled" counter shouldn't matter either.

I remember a Tyler Durden quote I read once that I keep to heart. "When you don't feel like ****, everyone you hate loses." or something.

Maintain your happiness, and don't let small stuff like this get in the way of that.

 

[Pandora]

You might be attributing too much of their actions to your self worth.

Making sex the be-all-end-all of your life. Don't do it.

Girls are supposed to be the "nice thing" on the side, not the main dish.

Question bro. Do you think this is the natural attitude that men have had historically. Or is this indifference a response to the current dating climate? I feel like men in the past didint take women seriously but they lived for their family. idk

 

[btownbuck2012]

There's a reason why most in the manosphere encourage going for the quick lay: it's because women who make you wait are no more emotionally stable than women who go for the quick lay. If anything, girls who make you wait generally display trust issues, believe they hold the keys to goldenpoosy which you must now jump through hoops to get to, and I also find that women who make you wait generally don't make other men in their past wait but for whatever reason (they've been burned before, they don't like you as much, aren't as drunk or turned, or just plain don't feel like) they have now decided to make you wait.

I don't know about you, but it's just something about being made to wait while knowing she has most probably not made other dudes wait that makes me not trust nor want to be with a woman like this.

What would you say the sweet spot is here? I believe that that alone can't determine any type of quality or character from a woman unless it's at an extreme of either two ends of the spectrum (1st date or 3 months later, etc.). I'd like to get your thoughts too though.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

The "sweet spot" is in knowing what you want, with as much detail as you want. AND the skills to qualify for those criteria. AND understanding that often times you won't get EVERYTHING.

The biggest issue is the clock is always ticking, and there is always competition.

This is extremely difficult, so much so that for MOST of human history, (and even for most people today) people just got together and stayed together without much conscious thought.

That model has only been falling apart in the last couple hundred years or so.

If you don't have a CLEAR GOAL, (e.g. hoping something "good" just "happens") you're going to be disappointing.

So, WHAT EXACTLY do you want?

 

[speed dawg]

OP, the sweet spot for me is about 3-5 interactions. A decent woman isn't going to let a weak man possibly impregnate her, too much to lose. Thus SOME type of vetting period is necessary. It's not because they are 'quality' or 'good' or any of that nonsense.

This is extremely difficult, so much so that for MOST of human history, (and even for most people today) people just got together and stayed together without much conscious thought.

That model has only been falling apart in the last couple hundred years or so.

I wouldn't say it's always better, though. That conscious thought has led to a lot of debilitating behaviors. We think we're smarter than God, so God leaves us to our own desires, in other words. Good luck with that.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Much of seduction is focused on getting a girl to sleep with you as quickly as possible. I have found that i become depressed when a girl sleeps with me quickly. This is because i know that it will not usually work out. Girls that sleep with men very quickly are usually very impulsive. Easy come....easy go. Their interest in you was quick and intense. Just like that they will be able to become emotionally frigid. This is especially true if they dont run into you at all in their everyday existence.

9/10 times a girl that sleeps with you the first night is not emotionally stable. Even girls that sleep with you within the first few encounters are not emotionally stable. They always have some catch. This sucks because it takes a long time for a guy to get good enough to even have a girl sleep with him early. All of the manosphere advice encourages this.

The ideal situation is a girl that shows consistent high interest, but has the emotional maturity to gradually escalate the physicality. These are the girls that stick around the longest. But they are also the rarest.

Now when i sleep with a girl very quickly i become depressed while laying the bed. This is because i know that this will not last ( this was not true say 10 yrs ago). She is either BPD, or she is very emotionally capricious and impulsive. These are not good traits. Now there are exceptions and i have found them. But this is rare.

If they are emotionally healthy and they sleep with you early they often get buyers remorse and feel guilty. They will then ignore your texts even if you are a great guy. Its like you cant win. The game is rigged. If you sleep with them too soon you lose. You sleep with them too late..you lose. You dont sleep with them at all....you really lose. I am just about done. Maybe MGTOW guys where not so crazy after all.

WTF did I click on? I actually did read the whole thing and after I finished I swear it felt like i was listening a few girls back in my younger days and how they would vomit all their emotional baggage on me.

Because that's exactly what you posted. You feel unfulfilled now that a girl will sleep with you quickly? You instead now want one that will hold out for a while, AND she must display consistent high interest....over how long of a period did you say? Oh that's right...see I highlighted that part in bold. I underlined the part that is ambiguous. First few encounters? Define encounter. You can't really. Just a quick coffee? Or sucking on her tits but going no further? It's ambiguous because you have no clear definition. But what is clear is that you admit you are now seeking a unicorn, and what's worse is you think that if you find this unicorn you will magically be happy.

I didn't write this stuff, you did. You are unhappy. You say you are depressed, but being unhappy is all about YOU. You posted this thread trying to say it's all about the woman because if she sleeps with you quick, it sucks cause you know it won't last, but can't define what time period makes a girl LTR material or a 'quality' plate at a minimum.

 

[btownbuck2012]

No, on this alone you can't make any conclusions as to quality. And you cannot make any conclusions based on compatibility either. However, for me, I like my relationships to move as quickly as possible. I want to meet them, talk to them, get to know them, and fvck them as early as possible. Because if I find out I am not compatible with a woman for any reason, I want to know this ASAP and then GTFO as soon as I can and move on to the next.

For example: say you wait a few weeks till you bang a girl. You act like a "nice guy" and "respect the woman." (and as we all know, being a nice guy and respecting women gets us so far in life ). Now you finally fvck her only to realize she hates giving blowj0bs (or maybe she just hates giving YOU blowj0bs). Now if you are like me, and are the kind of guy who doesn't want to spend the rest of his life or even extended periods of his life without getting a good bj, you will recognize instantly that the two of you are not sexually compatible. Now I just used the sex thing as an example, but it could be anything. She might be super religious. Or she just might be a beesh. The point is, I want to find out everything about her ASAP so I can decide whether to stay.. or whether to NEXT! and move on.

Now I am the kind of guy who will also ask a girl about her parents and her relationship history and her sexual past. A lot of guys would discourage this, saying don't ask don't tell because usually this info causes more harm than good. But I, on the other hand, prefer to know everything I can because I'm looking for a high quality girlfriend I can spend lots of time with and to choose this woman I would prefer to know everything I can about her in order to make a more informed decision.

Now not everyone is the same as me or thinks the same, so if you're ok knowing that a girl made you wait a month and only after being taken to dinner while she fvcked 10 other drug addict deadbeats on the first date after only being bought a drink, then suit yourself and live life the way you want it. We all live life on our own terms.

The "sweet spot" is in knowing what you want, with as much detail as you want. AND the skills to qualify for those criteria. AND understanding that often times you won't get EVERYTHING.

The biggest issue is the clock is always ticking, and there is always competition.

This is extremely difficult, so much so that for MOST of human history, (and even for most people today) people just got together and stayed together without much conscious thought.

That model has only been falling apart in the last couple hundred years or so.

If you don't have a CLEAR GOAL, (e.g. hoping something "good" just "happens") you're going to be disappointing.

So, WHAT EXACTLY do you want?

Thanks, both good responses. Honestly, I'm not sure what the hell I want. I sometimes wonder if my standards are TOO high. I had drinks with one of the more well known PUAs a while back. Met the guy through networking basically, but one of his screening criteria that he used was one that a-lot of guys would probably be shocked by. He said, when he was looking for a relationship, he liked going for girls who had admitted that they had a one night stand before, but didn't like it.

Now here's a guy who has banged over 300 women and one of his major screening criteria is one that most guys on this forum would immediately classify a woman as such as "low quality".

I think too many guys, INCLUDING myself, are so focused on finding perfection that we NEXT too quickly a-lot of compatible, kind YET flawed women in the process. It's similar to taiyuu_otoko's point. I think a better approach is to screen for crazy and try not to get disillusioned by normal flawed human behavior that could be otherwise labeled as sluttiness, low quality, etc. Gotta watch out for the Crazy tho. IDK, I'm just spitballing here. Would love to get some more thoughts/opinions on this...

 

[The Duke]

I used to think you could draw conclusions from all this, but I have since changed my mind. I've had sechs with girls within hours of meeting them on a first date. The longest I went was 5 dates(had her top off on date 4). Sechs typically happens on the 3rd date for me.

-The girl that took 5dates before sechs happened had high interest, emotionally mature, rational, told me she loved me at month 3. Then told me we weren't right for each other at month 4.

-My 5yr ltr that was emotional, insecure put out on date 2. She complained about giving it up that early as well. But that girl loved me lots and still thinks of me.

-Last summer I had a girl that put out on the first date. She was very rational, no mental issues. She was super horny and hadn't been laid in several months. Dated her for a couple months with no issues.

It all depends on how horny they are, interest level, how much time you spent talking to them before hand, what they are looking for etc.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

We think we're smarter than God, so God leaves us to our own desires, in other words.

Like in the movie, "Bruce Almighty." Give a human more control that we're capable of and all hell breaks loose.

 

[FwoGiZ]

You are looking for a unicorn eh? I feel bad for you...
I just take them as they are, accept them as they are... enjoy my time with them. I make sure I am healthy, I am rarely depressed except in fall which I think it's lack of vit D (big winters here) or maybe just lack of sexiness to my eyes?
Either way, I am sure I could win challenges at being cynical but instead, I just make sure I am happy.

You can keep thinking those weird ass numbers and blame women and the world, I'll be over there, banging them and being happy with them...

A wise man once said, when everyone is an as$hole, maybe you are the as$hole

 

[Pandora]

So i posted this in the other thread also. I just talked to a couple females that i know well. They both explained that after a one night stand they feel very ashamed of their actions. The last thing they want to do is to see the guy again even if they liked the guy. They also fear that the guy will only see them as a hook up from now on. This is all i was trying to communicate in this post. We dont emphasize this point enough when we talk about pick up. Sometimes it is counterproductive to sleep with a girl too soon if they are going to feel guilty about it and run away.

Are all girls like this? No. Some of the previous posters have pointed out exceptions. I have also found exceptions. But many are. I guess it is just a roll of the dice as to which ones are.

 

[Colossus]

Ive been saying this for years.

Both the insta-lay and the girls who "make" you wait are not LTR material. If you keep getting less and less resistance, that's a good thing. If you keep getting the SAME resistance time after time, that's when you should probably move on. They either have trust issues, GPS, or they are trying to play you in some way.

 

[Pandora]

Ive been saying this for years.

Both the insta-lay and the girls who "make" you wait are not LTR material. If you keep getting less and less resistance, that's a good thing. If you keep getting the SAME resistance time after time, that's when you should probably move on. They either have trust issues, GPS, or they are trying to play you in some way.

So true. Im guessing gps stands for golden pu**y syndrome . Thats pretty funny

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Question bro. Do you think this is the natural attitude that men have had historically. Or is this indifference a response to the current dating climate? I feel like men in the past didint take women seriously but they lived for their family. idk

Thanks to high speed internet porn, most men have no self-control today. Sometimes I wonder if it is a feminist plot.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

There's a reason why most in the manosphere encourage going for the quick lay: it's because women who make you wait are no more emotionally stable than women who go for the quick lay. If anything, girls who make you wait generally display trust issues, believe they hold the keys to goldenpoosy which you must now jump through hoops to get to, and I also find that women who make you wait generally don't make other men in their past wait but for whatever reason - they've been burned before, they don't like you as much, aren't as drunk or turned on by you, or just plain don't feel like - they have now decided to make you wait.

I don't know about you, but it's just something about being made to wait while knowing she has most probably not made other dudes wait that makes me not trust nor want to be with a woman like this.

Or she could just be a sweet demure little thing that does not want to get emotionally messed up like all those other toxic women you talk about in your pages long thread!

There is a massive disconnect here between complaining about women's '*****-like' behavior, but wanting them to be like '*****s'.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

.
For example: say you wait a few weeks till you bang a girl. You act like a "nice guy" and "respect the woman." (and as we all know, being a nice guy and respecting women gets us so far in life ). Now you finally fvck her only to realize she hates giving blowj0bs (or maybe she just hates giving YOU blowj0bs). Now if you are like me, and are the kind of guy who doesn't want to spend the rest of his life or even extended periods of his life without getting a good bj, you will recognize instantly that the two of you are not sexually compatible. Now I just used the sex thing as an example, but it could be anything. She might be super religious. Or she just might be a beesh. The point is, I want to find out everything about her ASAP so I can decide whether to stay.. or whether to NEXT! and move on.

Now I am the kind of guy who will also ask a girl about her parents and her relationship history and her sexual past. A lot of guys would discourage this, saying don't ask don't tell because usually this info causes more harm than good. But I, on the other hand, prefer to know everything I can because I'm looking for a high quality girlfriend I can spend lots of time with and to choose this woman I would prefer to know everything I can about her in order to make a more informed decision.

Now not everyone is the same as me or thinks the same, so if you're ok knowing that a girl made you wait a month and only after being taken to dinner while she fvcked 10 other drug addict deadbeats on the first date after only being bought a drink, then suit yourself and live life the way you want it. We all live life on our own terms.

This is ridiculous. You want to find out everything about her ASAP, which I guess you mean by sleeping with her. But finding out things about her, and who she is as a person, takes time.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yeah you're right she's just a sweet demure thing

Yeah, but you wait until you get to know her................

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

You are either a troll or the biggest AFC sosuave has ever seen.

I am responding to your logic... or lack of it.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I wouldn't say it's always better, though. That conscious thought has led to a lot of debilitating behaviors. We think we're smarter than God, so God leaves us to our own desires, in other words. Good luck with that.

And sexual desire gets the better of us. A true DJ, a truly 'magnanimous' man, is in control of himself. This lack of self-control is what leads to all the horrendous stories you read about 'toxic women'. Having some control, and slowing things down a little, is in the man's best interest.