Girls and their male friends

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Don Juan
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Do you think there should be a line drawn in regards to what is appropriate for my girlfriend of 8 months to tell her close male co-worker friend? They always go out on breaks together etc, and she used to show him the raunchy text messages i sent (it was 2 way, always c+f), which I thought was downright rude. Fair enough she will show her female friends, but if she shows her male friends that says to me that we don't have much unique to just the two of us, i felt used. Anyway that stopped when I ceased sending them for that reason. I get the feeling she tells him about our sex life etc as well... I just wouldnt tell other girls about that part of us. I'm 99.99% sure theres nothing going on, as she acted as a shoulder when he was moping over one of his girls, and they share all their "love secrets" etc as if he was just one of the girls. Theres a lot of teasy flirting between them. She seems more sprightly around him and usually seeks him out to talk, lays down the rules etc rather than vice versa, but she is much more laid back (lazy in the relationship?) and submissive with me. She lost her virginity to me a month ago... comments?
 

dietzcoi

Master Don Juan
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1. Another example of why men and women should not be "best friends"... it is BS

2. I think she is hot for this guy but for some reason cannot get with him. If she is all happy and bright around him, it means she REALLY likes him.

3. Either that, or he is a big AFC supplicator hanging on her.... cannot tell by your comments.

4. This is just plain wrong, you are right in being upset by this. She should not share intimate details with another man.

5. This relationship will not have a good ending.

Dietzcoi
 

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Don Juan
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Lets assume he is an AFC... She tells me everything they say regarding him and his girl, how hes sad, depressed, etc, doesnt know what to do, etc. So she is playing the emotional tampon.

Anyway she is chirpy with other guys in general at her work, is a smartass, etc, but is more lovey-dovey/grounded/etc which I am finding boring... maybe she takes me for granted? Or is it that she is trying to be a female DJ? She will bounce off walls with some people, then practically force herself to not laugh with me, etc. I am tall, built, don't take ****, etc, so could it be that she sees these qualities and is trying to play hard to get herself?
 

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Don Juan
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Posted at the same time heh...

Anyways as usual dementia, your advice sounds spot on.
 

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Don Juan
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Heh thats the thing! I dont mean the "badass" type of "i dont take s.hit". But more a respectable, intelligent, etc one... I just have my s.hit together and she knows I know what I want... I dont start fights.

I am always fun around her, and get along awesome with her friends, they love me! But she will kinda put herself in a depressed mood around me... i.e claim to be tired etc, then as soon as her friend comes along, she'll be up and dancing and whatnot. And I don't mean a good lovey dovey really... shes actually not clingy in the slightest, *rarely* initiates anything, you get the idea. She just won't *initate* being playful around me as much as with others. Again maybe she's trying to be a female DJ? Just looks like she's lacking a few key attributes of a good woman in a strong relationship! But when she talks to me on the phone its the complete opposite. I can't lock lips with her for more than 2 seconds in public... I feel i'm missing out on a relationship where the two people just couldnt care less about having an audience - theres been no real "losing herself in the moment" things!

Shes naturally chirpy, loves a good, fun, quality b.itch session, at the same time she is leaned on by almost all her friends because she just cant say no really, and provides that kind of support.

Meh, the more I write, the more crosses I find against her name than ticks. And you're right, she will just talk about us, from what I gather, when raised, even on a tangeant etc. And nah the dude ain't that witty at all! She just initates/reads into more and bounces off him more... I actually feel that my humour and creativity are being drained... kinda feels like a wasted effort?

Eh... I know I should really end it if i'm writing this amound of s.hit about it... and it deviated from the original topic anyway :rolleyes: :p

Cheers bud
 

dietzcoi

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It seems you yourself know there is something wrong here. You have been listing more and more red flags with each posting.

You know the answer. She does NOT sound like she has high IL in you, rather in him. No way to know why.

I told you this will have a bad ending. I stick with my opinion

End it.

Dietzcoi
 

Trance

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You dont know what's in her mind.

But you DO know what in HIS mind. Every guy who gives time to a girl is into her, at least give her a f.uck if he can.

She knows this, they all know this. But still they like to have guys around, and if you mention it bothers you, they will play the "its just a friend" game, talking as if they were born yesterday, making it seem like its an insecurity problem of yours.


The best thing in this kind of situations is making a girl know you dont take bull**** from the start of the relation, and making her see you know all about guys and girl, and what their intentions are in every contact situation.
 
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