What do you guys think of this?
I think that you shouldn't let her disrespect you.
I've been with agirl for a little over a year. We're both 21, both first serious relationships.
First relationships almost never work out. She is immature.
All is pretty good,
doesn't sound too good to me for you.
but she I found out she didn't tell me the whole story about one of her friends.
Why would she? She doesn't want you to know. They never do tell you the whole story do they? The "friend" always seems to involve another guy. If it's a "good guy friend" you can always bet the saw his d**k at one time, in which this case, she has, like most other girls.
I asked her if she talked to/hung out with anyone and she had a history with and she did answer and tell me everything.
Did you just ask her that? Or did you know about another guy before you asked her?
Back in high school, she got wasted and banged one of her friends a few times.
Sounds like she got wasted and banged by this guy quite a bit. More than once usually isn't good for you and is not a mistake. That means he was her f*** buddy.
She says she regrets it, it was a mistake, wishes she could back and not do it, etc.
That is what she says to you. If it was a one time thing then you can buy the regret comment. You said a "few times" so she knew what she was doing. She wanted to be banged by him several times. If she regreted it so much, she wouldn't even be talking to this guy. If you regretted something, you sure wouldn't want to re live it all over again. You would want to forget it. wouldn't you? She is talking and hanging out with him. Sure sounds like she doesn't regret it to me.
I've never met this guy. But I almost did one night, she wanted me to meet him but he couldn't make it. She says that she doesn't really even see him much anymore. He just texts her and she texts him back. And he is in a long term relationship. She knows his girlfriend, showed me her text messages with him (I never asked her to do this)
She shouldn't even be seeing or talkng to him in the first place. He also has a girlfriend so he shouldn't be talking to her. Of course she will show you the "good" text messages she sent. She wants you to see there is nothing going on so she can contnue to talk and see him behind your back. She sure won't show the "other" texts she probably sends to him or even some pictures she sends him. Chicks do that to pretend to show the guy that nothing is really going on when there actually is.
I get really ****ing pissed off when I think about it,
Yes, you should be. You shouldn't allow her to disrespect you like she is doing, or you will lose your girlfriend because she will lose her attraction for you. You let it get out of hand already. That's why she doesn't listen to you.
I sorta see her as a slut when I thinka bout it.
That was in the past before you knew her, and you can't control what she did or who she had sex with when she was in high school. But you shouldn't allow her to do that behavior now and especially be hanging out with an old f*** buddy.
She would've had me meet this guy and prolly never told me that she banged him before.
She shouldn't even see him or have you meet him. why would she tell you that? She won't tell you that automatically.
Then again, it was only a few drunken hook ups years before I even met her and she regrets it.
"Only a few drunken hook ups" Why are you giving her the benefit of the doubt on this? Don't do that. This is serious stuff for you man. Not good. It was a "few drunken hook ups." She knew what she was doing and wanted it. One time, I can see that would be mistake, but not a few. How do you even know she was drunk? She could just be saying she was drunk. It doesn't matter. You know that she hooked up with the guy several times and is seeing him. She wanted it. She doesn't regret it either or she wouldn't be talking or hanging out with this guy. They always say they regret it, but they never do.
It's sort hard to let go of because it feels like a complete lack of respect torwards me.
You shouldn't let it go. It is a lack of respect to you. But I'm afraid the damage is done, and you should of put her in her place instead of talking it out with her, and letting it get out of hand like it is now.
I flipped out on her a few times about and she seems to genuinly feel awful about. Like, she bawls her eyes out so bad..I've never seen her cry so much. Whenever I flipout she crys cuz she thinkgs I'm going to dump her. One time she told me to just call her instead of she her because she couldn't handle me dumnping her face to face. So she seems remourseful. She said she udnerstands now how wrong what she did was. But she won't just stop talking to him...she doesnt feel ok with me telling her that she cant talk to someone.
she already brought up the word "dumping" to you. You can see where this is headed now. She doesn't see how wrong it is. She doesn't care. she is doing what she wants and your word is no good to her. She still has a thing for this guy and she will still continue to talk to him.
WHat doyou guys think? Idk how to really KNOW if she's for real or not. I find it all disrspectful but at the same time I dont' really wanna throw the relationship out, but I'm prepared to if anything else comes out.
This is "her" relationship that she is controlling now. She does what she wants and doesn't listen to you. Why should you let her disrespect you and let her hang out with a guy who has banged her several times already? Chances are the next time they hang out he will bang her and will be her f*** buddy. Also, why should you let her do what she wants and then she will eventually dump you. This "guy friend" of her's will just be using her for the on the side sex as he did before. He already has a girlfriend, he only wants her for the hook ups as he did before.
How would you guys handle this situation?
First of all she is disrespecting you and your relationship. She has her old f*** buddy that she is talking to and hanging out with. She even wanted you to meet him. You have told her what you thought about this, she doesn't respect you, your word is no good, she is controlling your relationship. She is in charge and is running the show, while you sit back and watch. That is not a good thing to do, because it will end for you very soon.
You waited too long to nip it in the bud. That's what happens when you do that and the disrespect starts. She doesn't listen to you. Your word is no good. You are the PERFECT example of the thread I wrote about disrespect. You should read it.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=184662
Now, since she doesn't listen to you, and is still talking to and hanging out with this guy, and already mentioned "dumping" , which doesn't look too good for you, you can do two things. I wouldn't be disrespected like that, I wouldn't put up with behavior like that.
2 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO TODAY
1.) You can tell her off and put her in her place about talking and hanging with this guy. Tell her that you won't put up with this behavior anymore from her. Tell her that if she continues to disrespect you by hanging out then the relationship is over. Tell her that he is already taken and that she is disrespecting you and his girlfriend and you won't be treated that way. Then if she cries and refuses, then you dump her. Why should you put up with that? You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that she will be banging him again, if she already hasn't. If you dump her, you will have leverage in the future if you want to continue or use her for a f*** buddy.
2.) If you feel your relationship is worth saving, you can do this. Start talking and hanging out with other girls. Let her see you talking to them. Let her hear you talking to them. Let her watch you talking to them. She is doing that to you isn't she? Do the same to her. She won't like it one bit. She can't say nothing to you about it, because she is doing the same to you. Her IL might go up and you will be in control and her word will no good. You turn the tables on her. Plus it will give you the statisfaction of making her feel like she made you feel all this time.
So do either one, but I wouldn't let her disrespect me one bit, and if she continues to, you dump her. Then when you do, and her "friend" doesn't want nothing to do with her except as an f*** buddy, she will come back to you, and it will be up to you if you want her back or not.
First relationships don't usually work, and she is already disrespecting you. You already have thoughts for dumping her, so find another girl who won't be talking and hanging out with some other guy she used to bang. She is already doing what she wants anyway, and sooner or later your relationship will be over, so its best not to let it drag on and go through drama and b.s.
