Girlfriend went Clubbing

[Rainman4707]

I just stopped in & let her get on with it. I thought a few times about her dancing & lads grabbing her ass.

I remember a Don Juan saying that he didn't like his girl going clubbing, but when she was leaving he would say "have a great night babe, smash the place up" so that's what I did.



Nothing I can do about it is there.

What do you guys think in this situation?

 

[El Payaso]

What should you do?

Go clubbing as well without her and have some fun.

 

[Rainman4707]

Yes I did think of that.

I don't drink much though. I've just posted a thread about it in Anything else forum.

She just rang me & talked about stuff for fifteen minutes..she asked me what i did & i told her "i stopped in & that i'll have to go clubbing one night with all my friends.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

That sucks bro. Got to mentally check out of this relationship now.. totally disrespectful.

 

[BraddH]

That sucks bro. Got to mentally check out of this relationship now.. totally disrespectful.

I agree.

 

[Julian]

Clubbing is for single people i swear....when I was with my exgf I went clubbing and it ruined our relationship

 

[om1xr]

I never go clubbing even with plates and fbs. as for girlfriend that's big hell NO. Period.

even when my friends bring their girlfriends i go solo because there will be always single hot girls ready to jump your bones.

 

[RangerMIke]

She likes clubbing, you don't. Go fine a girl that fits your purpose and things you like if you want a realtionship.

You did the right thing, you can't control a woman, if she wants to go... you have to let her.... do the best you can to show you don't care. Then start looking for a replacement.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You are in this situation because you have not set boundaries and are therefore an ethereal, soft entity to her.

Setting boundaries is not "You can't do this and that". No, it's defining acceptable and non-acceptable behavior for BOTH of you... "Since we are in a committed relationship we agree that this and that is not acceptable". It's a "we" thing, not a dictatorship thing.

It's critically important for a man to define and set boundaries for a relationship. Women crave this. Just as children need to know what the rules of the household are (it is good for their mental and emotional well-being) so do women need to know the rules.

Women are ethereal... they are like a mist. The man is the container of that mist who gives her form. If the man is also mist or a weak, leaky container, she will dissipate away.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Have the two of you been fighting/distant as of late? Could you see how something like this came about? Or was this a "girl's night out" sort of thing?

Either way, she's making the conscious choice, with a completely sober mind, to put herself in an environment where cheating may very well take place. Would a girl who's deeply into you deliberately put herself in that sort of situation? How much could she value the relationship by doing something like that?

 

[LMFAO]

"That's cool.. hope you have fun, don't miss me too much .. I'm also going out with some friends to a bar tonight just got a text so not sure when I'll be back and we were thinking of going clubbing later in the week too..most of my friends are single.. so looking for cute girls you know how it is <smirk>"

You don't have to go anywhere just make it look like you are to her. Appear as distant as possible that night so her mind wanders. If she texts you from the club text a couple of hours later.

Clubs are for single people yet stupidly some girls with boyfriends and even married women sometimes go there, to "let their hair down" (i.e. for male attention). Make it clear that it's up to her. If she keeps doing it assume you are not exclusive and bang other girls.

 

[Rainman4707]

It's the first time she has been clubbing in six month. She hasn't got many friends. Her friend had last night off work so they went clubbing. My girlfriend has said a few times she needed to have a "good night out" "a good dance"

My thoughts were/are that it would be a little harsh to set a boundary saying we shouldn't go to bars/clubs without each other.

 

[Starwolf]

You are in this situation because you have not set boundaries and are therefore an ethereal, soft entity to her.

Setting boundaries is not "You can't do this and that". No, it's defining acceptable and non-acceptable behavior for BOTH of you... "Since we are in a committed relationship we agree that this and that is not acceptable". It's a "we" thing, not a dictatorship thing.

It's critically important for a man to define and set boundaries for a relationship. Women crave this. Just as children need to know what the rules of the household are (it is good for their mental and emotional well-being) so do women need to know the rules.

Women are ethereal... they are like a mist. The man is the container of that mist who gives her form. If the man is also mist or a weak, leaky container, she will dissipate away.

Can u be more specific of how such a conversation would go?

Like in the OP's case, After 6 months out of the blue she says. I want to go clubbing.

How would u set your boundaries without coming off as insecure or jealous?

edit: Also please don't say he should have set boundaries from the beginning.. it is impossible to foresee everything that needs clear boundaries.

 

[Rainman4707]

I've been thinking about it & I'm pi**ed off.

She is a canny lass. We get on great.

But maybe she is taking the Pi**. I was with her this week & she asked me if I minded that she was going clubbing (I recently set a boundary telling her she couldn't see her Male friend any more when it's just the two of them) I said I didn't mind her going clubbing as I trusted her. She then started asking if I would mind if she ever went out in a Princess Zara bikini from star wars or some fuc*ing thing! At the time I said I wouldn't mind, but then a few seconds later i asked how skimpy the bikini was & said if it was too skimpy the yes I would mind! After reading some of the posts on this thread I've realise she's taking the fu*king pi**!!!
Now I look back I'm thinking she's a great girl, but she's taking the pi** a little saying stuff like that.


I suppose she could come back & say well, being in the bars with disco dancing is just the same as clubbing blah blah I think it's a tricky one because my friends like going to the bars in the city's for drinks so I cannot exactly tell her to stop it if am going to be doing it.

I have to admit she's got my head done in. I'm sick of thinking about stupid situations like this.

I realise it's a minor issue that I can sort easily, it's just pi**ed me off thinking about it.

She loves me & keeps talking about our future.

I'm seeing her tonight. I might drop in something like "yeah clubbing is for single people really, fair enough going to a few bars for drinks, but maybe you're not taking this relationship seriously if you're going to be going clubbing until three in the morning. You're talking about wearing bikinis :nono:

 

[Maximus Rex]

I just stopped in & let her get on with it. I thought a few times about her dancing & lads grabbing her ass.

I remember a Don Juan saying that he didn't like his girl going clubbing, but when she was leaving he would say "have a great night babe, smash the place up" so that's what I did.

Nothing I can do about it is there.

What do you guys think in this situation?

4. When You Don’t See Those Hos, Don’t Panic

I know, it feels damn good to ride by and see your crew of hos. But the b*tches must get busy at some point, so they won’t be there just because you rode by. If they are, the hos are half-stepping about your paper. When you show up and the hos aren’t there, go shoot some pool or something and wait for those b*tches to get back. But they better have some paper when they do show up.

19. Don’t be Afraid to Trust a Ho If it is Warranted

A lot of pimps will disagree with me on this one, for sure. But, I never had a ho take my money, or jewelry when she left. I know a b*tch is capable of, and will do anything. So, don’t think I’m saying be stupid. But, don’t you leave your jewelry and paper around those hos when you sleep?

Rosebudd's 27 Rules of Pimpin' http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=218192

You do what Rosebudd said do. If you're game is tight, she isn't going to be checkin' for the next the dude. The issue isn't with her, but rather why you think she's going to suck and f*ck the next man when you're not around.

 

[Zarky]

If you're caring even the slightest amount, OP, it means you're not dating (that is, banging) enough women.

 

[LMFAO]

Stop pvssyfooting about and take action as per the ones suggested, she's making you her b!tch.

 

[christoff522]

I just stopped in & let her get on with it. I thought a few times about her dancing & lads grabbing her ass.

I remember a Don Juan saying that he didn't like his girl going clubbing, but when she was leaving he would say "have a great night babe, smash the place up" so that's what I did.



Nothing I can do about it is there.

What do you guys think in this situation?

No offence to other people here, as their opinions are just as valid as my own. But seriously what's the problem here? Shes simply gone out with her friends to dance to music and have a drink. I think you're being somewhat insecure here - just expecting her to cheat on you. I think you need to do a personal inventory of your own worries and fears and ask yourself why you feel this way.

The chances are that she went out and had a good night, didn't get with anyone else, and was sad that you weren't there. People go out all the time, and don't sleep with other people or kiss them, or grab their arses.

You don't need to ditch her for someone else, you simply need to stop worrying that she's going to cheat on you because she went out with her friends for a night out.

 

[sylvester the cat]

On a rating of 1-10, how hot is your gfriend OP?

 

[Firestar786]

This is why you should spin plates and not enter into any monogamous BS

Sooner or later the b1tch pulls something like this to test your patience.

Bro if you wanna be pvssy whipped then keep her, but like you said she's taking the p1s.
Start looking for replacement but don't tell her .