Girlfriend went Clubbing

[Dhoulmagus]

I'd dump her. The people that are regulars in clubs are desperate thirsty men and blacks. You will catch getting aggressively macked on by some drunk beta or grinding on some ganged LeQuan.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

There are three points to be made here.

1) I grew up in a part of the world where people have a reputation for promiscuity. I suppose I deserve in part a variance on that reputation, having embraced the lifestyle myself, in part. Clubbing was a massive part of my young adulthood as results.

2) I still enjoy clubbing because it is an easy place to meet people while having a laugh in your own right - mainly when I am SINGLE. However, when I am in an exclusive relationship, I rarely go clubbing unless it is WITH my partner and a group of friends, because we enjoy music and dancing. Clubbing is what clubbing is. If she enjoys music and dancing, she can just as easily go to a gig, which doesn't come with the pre-loading of desperate letches, as mentioned by some of the other guys.

3) Ask YOURSELF what you want. Do you want to be sitting in for (at least) one night a week twiddling your thumbs, wondering what she's up to, when you could be with someone else who wants to spend time with you, doing something you both enjoy instead?

The cold hard truth is that she's making her life choices, and they seem to include dancing with, as yet, unknown men.

Start making your own life choices my friend. Ask yourself what you want from life and stop letting other people dictate it to you.

 

[Rainman4707]

I have already told her I wasn't cool with it.

She has been clubbing once in six month!

She now thinks that I get jealous & she probably thinks I'm insecure.
I imagine she may try & test me in the future with this in mind.

She's thirty & I really can't see her going clubbing more than twice a month. She didn't even go clubbing on the night we're on about. She had to much to drink & went home at 1am.

Yes I do feel I have lost some power due to this incident. Maybe I should of put my point across in a more cool manner.
I wasn't going to say anything to her until I started discussing it on here & I though she's taking the pi** a little.

To be honest I've never had a problem with girls going out to bars/clubs with their friends. It's hard to tell the difference between a bar & a club in England anyway.

I the past I have just let the girl go out & had the mentality of she might be expecting me to be jealous & insecure so I'm not going to contact her at all & let her get on with her night

 

[Rainman4707]

Why dump her?

 

[Firestar786]

Because she's disrespected your relationship, time effort etc

Prob was winding and grinding in the club with some dude lol.

She's taken the p1ss by going clubbing do fuvck her off and get a new girl

 

[Skyline]

Went for a few drinks with her last night & basically said "look if you want to go clubbing then go.

GF : Yeah, but if I did it every week, you wouldn't like it.

Rainman : I would'nt like it, but I cannot stop you from doing anything. Look if you want to go clubbing, then go.

GF : Go, but you would think I'm not respecting the relationship.

Rainman : Look, if you want to go, then go.

GF : .........so it's not an issue anymore.

Rainman : No.

I had a conversation similar to that some time ago. The only thing I said different was that it was an issue but I wouldn't try and control her. But this was at the time from which that I didn't know when a girls says: "I don't want you talking to other girls" meant that we were basically in a relationship. I thought we were just "close" at the time haha.

She ended up cheating and I get dumped like a month later. But by then I had found SS and agreed and amplified in a calm manner when she gave me the "I found someone else speach." She seemed really confused now that I think about it. She ended up staying in touch with me even with her new guy for about a month or two but I think he found out, the guy was/is a major AFC...

 

[Rainman4707]

Because she's disrespected your relationship, time effort etc

Prob was winding and grinding in the club with some dude lol.

She's taken the p1ss by going clubbing do fuvck her off and get a new girl

Really!? Dump my girlfriend for going out drinking??

 

[Rainman4707]

I had a conversation similar to that some time ago. The only thing I said different was that it was an issue but I wouldn't try and control her. But this was at the time from which that I didn't know when a girls says: "I don't want you talking to other girls" meant that we were basically in a relationship. I thought we were just "close" at the time haha.

She ended up cheating and I get dumped like a month later. But by then I had found SS and agreed and amplified in a calm manner when she gave me the "I found someone else speach." She seemed really confused now that I think about it. She ended up staying in touch with me even with her new guy for about a month or two but I think he found out, the guy was/is a major AFC...

Some guys might be right about her going to dump me, but I don't think she will.

We'll see.

 

[Soolaimon]

Why dump her?

You're not going to dump her man. Sounds like you enjoy the drama hanging on to your only option.

You're going to hang on to the very end until she fvcks another guy and dumps you.

That's where it's headed.

She already has control over you after that conversation.

No respectful girlfriend who likes you would consider going clubbing with a friend alone.

She wouldn't continue to argue about it either.

When women are really into you they don't do this kind of stuff.

They do it when they stat losing interest cause they want other men instead
and aren't afraid of ruining the relationship.

They don't care and are doing what they want whether you like it or not.

I hope the boundary guys can see how useless boundaries are.

Women will always find way to break boundaries when they really want to with low interest.

He did not set the definition of exclusivity at the onset of her request for it

Who cares what "she requests".

If you don't want to be exclusive you don't need to "set the definition of exclusivity at the onset of her request".

Be a man for once instead of submitting to what the woman wants.

Women know what the definition of exclusivity is. They choose not to follow it for low value men.

Even if he set boundaries at the onset she still would find a way to go clubbing when she really wants to.

That's what you still can't understand in 9 threads now.

 

[Firestar786]

Excellent comments from solaman And danger

Dude fvck her off before its too late trust us !

Or hold on till she dumps you instead. Up to you

 

[Rainman4707]

You're right. I'm not going to dump her because she went out one night.

Come on, I think that would be a massive over reaction :s

 

[Firestar786]

Lol. Your call bro

Sometimes we need bad experiences as well to learn from them

 

[zorg198]

I remeber my ex went to clubbing with her girlfriends.

she didn't answer for 3 hours , saying she forgot her phone in the car(yeah right) ... turns out she met another dude she talked with on facebook.

Dude- either take what we are saying to you and apply it ,or shut the fvck up and deal with the outcome. don't come and cry to us when she will dump you because sooner or later it will happen.

Your choice.

Joe.

 

[LMFAO]

Dude- either take what we are saying to you and apply it ,or shut the fvck up and deal with the outcome. don't come and cry to us when she will dump you because sooner or later it will happen.

Your choice.

He's coming here for advice, ignoring all of it and instead continually acting in the most beta pu$$y way possible, then returning to ask us what to do next. At least others are learning of exactly what not to do in this sort of situation.

 

[Masculinity]

I was in a similar situation not long ago when a nice plate wanted to start an LTR.

HB: So, my friend is having a wedding next week and it's going to be in Ohio

Me: Ok.

HB: I'm going to get there early to help set up. The wedding is at (time) and the "dance" (my quotes here) is at (time).

Me: There are going to be desperate guys looking to hook up with girls there. I want you to know I don't approve dancing with other guys, not to mention bump & grind dancing

HB: Ohhh...nooo you don't have to worry about that. I may just dance with my friend (the girl getting married)

Me: Don't do anything stupid.

HB: I won't :yes: Thank you for telling me that. I really like how you don't want me around other guys. I'm all yours, Masculinity Want to skype?

----------

For those of you who think she may have done it anyway: She left the party early and went back to the hotel to Skype with me instead. While we were talking, the chick getting married called her, saying one of the guys at the party is asking for her number and thought her hair was pretty, asking if she could give him my plate's number. Her response (in front of my eyes over Skype) "oh...no thanks! Tell him I have a boyfriend (even though I was not) and he appreciates my hair already!"

They hung up. She chuckled and said "that guy was starring at me the whole night--it was creepy." She said she wanted to make it clear that she only wanted me, so she proceeded to get naked and fingered herself over Skype with me.

Boundaries and self-respect do wonders!

 

[Rainman4707]

Ok I don’t see this as a big deal. She’s a great woman who has went out for one night. Mountain out of a molehill springs to mind.

I should of just hinted to her that I did’nt like it.

I’ll take this oppurtunity to thank everyone for the input it has helped & I’ve read every post, took them into consideration & thought what is the best move for me.

Yes she was distant on Saturday night & *****y. She has the implant stick in her arm though & she says it’s getting her down so she’s getting it removed. She was a lot more happy on Sunday night saying she could’nt ever see herself with anyone else & that she loves me. I know actions speak louder than words. I’m just trying to give you guys a clearer picture.

Good post from Govan.
My girl loved me, but I’m aware I have’nt got the same power as when I was dating her. All my atteention is on her now, but hell that’s relationships.

I’ve got my eye on the ball now after hearing some guys saying she will dump me.

To be honest I think I’ve thought way to much about this subject

Hands up maybe I did make a mistake telling her she can go clubbing if she wants.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If my girl wants to go clubbing, i'll just start cheating on her lol. Who cares about some club *****, she just disqualified herself. Next

 

[zekko]

I remember a Don Juan saying that he didn't like his girl going clubbing, but when she was leaving he would say "have a great night babe, smash the place up" so that's what I did.

You encouraged her to go, and then you got mad about it.
Take a position and stick with it.
This is game playing at its worst.
You're being completely incongruent.

 

[Firestar786]

He's coming here for advice, ignoring all of it and instead continually acting in the most beta pu$$y way possible, then returning to ask us what to do next. At least others are learning of exactly what not to do in this sort of situation.

Hahagaga repped !!

 

[Rainman4707]

Yes I’m aware of that zekko

I’ve told her if she wants to go out then she can. I’m also aware that, that is not the correct way to do it. I know that boundaries are something both people agree for the good of the relationship.

Wll I’ve told her she can go out so we’ll see how it pans out.