Girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder

[_TAO_]

Does anyone in the community have any experience with this? We've been together almost 2 years now, and I find this diagnosis a little surprising. I always knew she was a little crazy, but to be honest, I like that in a girl...to me, normal is boring (and it usually makes them a freak in the sack :rockon: ). But manic depressive? I didn't know it was that serious. She was diagnosed a month ago, and since then shes been a real downer. We got in an argument about it earlier tonight and she just sent me this link:

http://www.livingmanicdepressive.com/F_030.html

I may be the worst person for her to have around to deal with as I'm not entirely convinced all of these doctors diagnose medical conditions correctly. To me, if someone is sitting around the house claiming they're too depressed to leave the house, then they're not even putting in the effort to change themselves. I know you can't just think your way out of feeling down, but sitting there and labeling yourself as depressed sure as sh!t won't help your escape that depressive thought loop. And labeling yourself too depressed to do anything....of course your depressed!! You're calling yourself too sad to do anything, stopping you from doing things that may make you happy! If you keep labeling yourself like that, you're bound to keep on buying into it and may never escape that thought process.

I realize this perspective may be completely ignorant, so I'm hoping some of you can shed some light on the matter. Please, if you have any info or experience, I'm hoping you will share. Thanks

TAO

 

[betheman]

depending on how extremes her moodswings are,a diagnosis can actually be a good thing in managing the illness.
you know her a lot better than we do, what are the acute symptoms? when they are at their worst? tell us about the highs and the lows?

 

[azanon]

I'm personally very leery of such labels (such as manic depressive), and tend to think the diagnosis should more often be a "lack of wellness", then a treatment to subscribe kind of diet, exercise (both physical and mental), than will bring one back to health.

If the solution is going to be for her doctor to prescribe a mind-altering drug, then I tend to think that can often guarantee that there never will be a state of wellness achieved.

It is very rare to find someone diagnosed with one of these conditions, and at the same time for the person to be one who eats right, has a balanced exercise regime, has a proper sleep schedule, etc. We are definitely a society that wants to excuse our own poor behaviors and habits by saying we are diseased, then to look for sympathy from society.

I would love to see a change in medical practice where they insist on a life of wellness first before you're even eligible for a diagnosis of mental disease.

 

[Colossus]

I would love to see a change in medical practice where they insist on a life of wellness first before you're even eligible for a diagnosis of mental disease.

Trust me man, clinicians are trying, but patients don't care. They are a bunch of fvcking lazy, woe-is-me individuals who want drugs. It's no different with smokers, the obese, and diabetics. Habits are very difficult to change, especially if they are comfortable habits.

Rare is the patient who turns themselves around by following a doctor's lifestyle recommendations, because the people who are living a life of wellness generally don't have these problems anyway.

 

[azanon]

Rare is the patient who turns themselves around by following a doctor's lifestyle recommendations, because the people who are living a life of wellness generally don't have these problems anyway.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

I think it's a shame that Tom Cruise couldn't have controlled his emotional outbursts, because I think he was/is on to something regarding this issue. He's a big proponent of wellness as am I.

 

[Bible_Belt]

And labeling yourself too depressed to do anything....of course your depressed!! You're calling yourself too sad to do anything, stopping you from doing things that may make you happy! If you keep labeling yourself like that, you're bound to keep on buying into it and may never escape that thought process.

Knowing in a logical sense that you shouldn't be depressed only makes it that much more depressing. Depressed people aren't stupid; most of them know as well as anybody how they should feel.

Men always want to be Mr. Fix-It for a woman's problems. But if you like to fvck crazy chicks, then it ain't happening. You're never going to fix her problems or talk her out of a bad mood. The best thing you can do is make her feel like you care about her the same no matter what sort of mood she's in. (awwww:flowers: ) To put it another way so that I don't sound like Dr. Phil, think of her as a prostitute, only instead of cash, she takes emotional support as payment. If you want to play, you got to pay.

 

[perseverance]

Your best bet is to find a forum where this type of issue is being discussed with people who have experienced or have experience dealing with the same or similar situations. SoSuave is not the place to seek advice about a partners mental health problem(s).

 

[Alle_Gory]

Rare is the patient who turns themselves around by following a doctor's lifestyle recommendations, because the people who are living a life of wellness generally don't have these problems anyway.

Rare are doctors who know what they're doing instead of just pushing drugs on people. Everything in the proper dose. I agree about the lifestyle change. I think that will make a significant difference.

_TAO_ she's your girl. She needs you, and if you care about her you will get her back into shape.

To me, if someone is sitting around the house claiming they're too depressed to leave the house, then they're not even putting in the effort to change themselves. I know you can't just think your way out of feeling down, but sitting there and labeling yourself as depressed sure as sh!t won't help your escape that depressive thought loop. And labeling yourself too depressed to do anything....of course your depressed!! You're calling yourself too sad to do anything, stopping you from doing things that may make you happy! If you keep labeling yourself like that, you're bound to keep on buying into it and may never escape that thought process.

Yeah, you need to pull her out of that. Like you said, the more you isolate yourself and the more you think, the more depressed you get.

Men always want to be Mr. Fix-It for a woman's problems. But if you like to fvck crazy chicks, then it ain't happening. You're never going to fix her problems or talk her out of a bad mood.

I don't understand how people can be in relationships and not try to help your partner when they need help. You don't need to be a therapist and listen to her laundry list. Sometimes helping someone is as simple as taking their mind off something or getting them to a doctor who can help them or getting them to come to the gym with you.

 

[betheman]

People who have a diagnosis of B Polar disorder CANNOT, make this go away merely by making lifestyle changes and adopting a positive attitude. in its milder forms, these 'homebased' treatments can have benefits, however for those with extreme mood swings, drugs to stabilise mood are very important, Bi Polar disorder carries with it one of the highest suicide risks of any mental disorder and to discard medication off hand is 'crazy'.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't understand how people can be in relationships and not try to help your partner when they need help. You don't need to be a therapist and listen to her laundry list. Sometimes helping someone is as simple as taking their mind off something or getting them to a doctor who can help them or getting them to come to the gym with you.

Yes, absolutely, I agree. All of those are supportive gestures. But what guys tend to do is "invalidate," which is telling the girl that her feelings are incorrect and to change them because they are illogical. It simply doesn't work. It's like yelling at the wind to stop blowing.

 

[bigneil]

All women are Bipolar.

DON'T LET the doctors get her! Prozac is something like 98% Fluoride (rat poison).

What she needs is healthy eating. Raw food, juicing, wild Salmon. Cook for her and she'll feel better, slowly but surely. It's the only way, otherwise dump her.

 

[Alle_Gory]

But what guys tend to do is "invalidate," which is telling the girl that her feelings are incorrect and to change them because they are illogical.

Oh I see, kind of like this: http://www.danfasoline.com/ArrestedDevelopment/511032209_4675bf163e_o.gif

 

[Yo'Mama]

Trust me man, clinicians are trying, but patients don't care. They are a bunch of fvcking lazy, woe-is-me individuals who want drugs. It's no different with smokers, the obese, and diabetics. Habits are very difficult to change, especially if they are comfortable habits.

Rare is the patient who turns themselves around by following a doctor's lifestyle recommendations, because the people who are living a life of wellness generally don't have these problems anyway.

Some patients are lazy, etc. but your last sentence is idiotic. People who are living a life of wellness don't have these problems? So you think people who suffer from manic depression/schizophrenia have basically brought it on themselves?

I do see your point and feel the same way to an extent but believe me I have personally known enough people who didn't smoke, exercised regularly, ate well, etc who have suffered awfully from illnesses like this.

It's so easy to say stuff like this when you have been lucky and not been hit by this yourself. You're not immune and if you think you are you're a fool.

 

[AlexDP]

All women are Bipolar.

DON'T LET the doctors get her! Prozac is something like 98% Fluoride (rat poison).

What she needs is healthy eating. Raw food, juicing, wild Salmon. Cook for her and she'll feel better, slowly but surely. It's the only way, otherwise dump her.

Bipolar disorder is a pretty heavy diagnosis. That being said though, I do think that in the US doctors are very keen on making such a diagnosis. As is being demonstrated time and time again, gross inequality increases personality disorders and other mental disorders in societies. It is no wonder US citizens have so many mental issues. But bipolar? I don't know. That's a pretty serious condition, I would see several doctors.

You're right about the healthy eating, sometimes it does wonders.

 

[_TAO_]

I think my biggest problem is that I question the diagnosis itself. It's like one day she told me she had been feeling down lately. Then, immediately after the diagnosis, the "feeling down" turned into miserable, can't get out of bed depression. It was as if her being told she was bipolar made her bipolar. I guess I really question the validity of MOST mental disorder diagnoses. I've honestly never noticed crazy mood swings in this girl past the normal ebbs and flows/highs and lows of daily life, until she was told she was bipolar. Then it was like she had been given permission to play the victim and ride it out to the fullest.

TL;DR I'm a skeptical motherf@cker, I can't help it

 

[DanelMadr]

I think my biggest problem is that I question the diagnosis itself. It's like one day she told me she had been feeling down lately. Then, immediately after the diagnosis, the "feeling down" turned into miserable, can't get out of bed depression. It was as if her being told she was bipolar made her bipolar. I guess I really question the validity of MOST mental disorder diagnoses. I've honestly never noticed crazy mood swings in this girl past the normal ebbs and flows/highs and lows of daily life, until she was told she was bipolar. Then it was like she had been given permission to play the victim and ride it out to the fullest.

TL;DR I'm a skeptical motherf@cker, I can't help it

You are right of course.
However doctors don't go around giving out diagnosis. She had to seek a specialist. So it wasn't like she was all well before. Girls are very good at pretending sanity

Be warned though. Sometimes drugs are necessary. Only treatment if possible in in her mind. Only way you can help her is to be perfectly balanced yourself. Being around balanced, conscious person is valuable. However don't be surprised (unbalanced) when it won't help.

Bottom line...only she can help herself. Sometimes drugs can help to tackle the worse. Don't play therapist with her. Prepare yourself things will get weird.

 

[DanelMadr]

As is being demonstrated time and time again, gross inequality increases personality disorders and other mental disorders in societies. It is no wonder US citizens have so many mental issues.

Illusion that equality is some cure for society is plaguing our society for some time. It is utter BS.

If anything rule of law guards the most important part of equality...the one before law. It works the best in US.

Based on your analysis...North Korea and Venezuela should have 8 mental patients per 10 citizens, where equality is non existent besides the fact most of the people have f@ck all.

Unless you meant...'when everyone has no opportunities to choose from aka no freedom people are equal'. In that case price for lack of depressions is quite horrific.

Depression is an illness of prosperous society...too much time to think, mind running wild.

 

[AlexDP]

Illusion that equality is some cure for society is plaguing our society for some time. It is utter BS.

If anything rule of law guards the most important part of equality...the one before law. It works the best in US.

Based on your analysis...North Korea and Venezuela should have 8 mental patients per 10 citizens, where equality is non existent besides the fact most of the people have f@ck all.

Unless you meant...'when everyone has no opportunities to choose from aka no freedom people are equal'. In that case price for lack of depressions is quite horrific.

Depression is an illness of prosperous society...too much time to think, mind running wild.

Which is why there are less mental disorders. In a sense there is more equality there. Don't think for a minute that the US system is a fair system. The income inequality is ridiculous. And for what it's worth: it hits the rich too. You'd think only the poor would suffer, but no. There is a fine balance to be kept though as communism isn't the answer either and people go absolutely mental when they do not have the opportunity to improve their position.

 

[DanelMadr]

Which is why there are less mental disorders. In a sense there is more equality there. Don't think for a minute that the US system is a fair system. The income inequality is ridiculous. And for what it's worth: it hits the rich too. You'd think only the poor would suffer, but no. There is a fine balance to be kept though as communism isn't the answer either and people go absolutely mental when they do not have the opportunity to improve their position.

My apologies to OP for hijacking this thread.

Anyway

We had a saying in communism...'All have everything and everyone has nothing'. There is big inequality in totalitarian countries first the elite is so powerful it decides if you live or not. And to skip a level you need the have not even skills/will etc but also to seriously suck some c00ck.

There is less strain on mind, because of lack of opportunities AND you have clear and present obstacle in form of the regime....not you. You can blame them and you will be right.

After revolution some were able to pursue their happiness, take responsibility and prosper. But some could't and with no one to blame but themselves they become jaded, resentful and depressed. Price for freedom.

I strongly believe no society model or political regime can bring peace of mind. It is personal business and therefore freedom is necessary.
As you put it even the rich are depressed. Ask yourself why? Because they found the material, physical happiness and had not achieved the peace of mind. This site...being a DJ should be about that. Becoming balanced good person totally responsible, honest and resourceful.

Equality is a myth. It does not exist in nature. It is not even desirable because it halts improvement. And it is not possible to implement by political system/force. True equality could be achieved when everyone is as stupid as the stupidest person on planet.

"Free market" (with so much regulation/favoritism it struggles to be free) economy in US creates big gap between rich and poor. However the poor live like kings compared to citizens with no free market. And you have the option coming up with something so valuable you become super rich in a year....no c00ck sucking involved.

 

[bigneil]

I was depressed for 4 months last year but I knew I was supposed to be depressed - I had no job and no girl.

But no drugs, not even weed (which I normally used as a crutch). I endured sadness, kept working out, eating right, focusing on my job search, and when I found a new job in a new city (and a new girl shortly after) I was never happier in my life.

Feel your own pain.