JooJooBean
Don Juan
Sorry for resurrecting, but another update. Wanted some feedback.
So I had the "drop stuff off and talk" confrontation just now. Not sure if I kept any frame or proper mentality, so I'll just type what I did and see if you guys think I dropped the ball.
So she comes by after leaving a message that she'll show up in the evening with my things.
She shows up and is in a foul mood at first. Has the sunglasses on and a bag with my things. Her stuff, meanwhile, is outside in a pile. As she looks, she comments, "Wow, you didn't need to throw my stuff out like that."
No comment on my end, I just stand and start telling her where her things are, like specific items that she'll need. I stand and watch, and she comments again. "You can go back inside. You don't need to stand there and watch." This pisses me off, so I make a point to stand and watch for a bit. I do at one point politely offer to carry a bag, but it's of course declined.
As she gathers her things, I finally do just turn around and close my door. I sit down and start to complete my school work and watch my shows on my laptop. I don't care at that point if she leaves or not. She rings the bell again, and gives me my key. I hand her her spare key nonchalantly.
"Thanks."
I turn around and go inside. I take an email so I can send a file that she "told" me to send to a mutual friend a couple weeks ago (I ignored that request until she asked for it again). I then, once again, sit down. I go on to do my things.
"You know, I just, this isn't right. I don't like how things are between us."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're just a brick wall."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I mean, just tell me how you're feeling."
"I'm fine." *shrug*
She then proceeds to go on and on about how she felt, and again apologizes for the things she said to me (I still haven't acknowledged any of it), and talks about how she still loves me and doesn't want it to be like nothing has ever gone on between us. She wants me to "feel" something, I guess, and of course I'm really pissed off at her, etc. But I know this is a setup, or at least I think it is.
I finally give her some "honesty", since she asked for it. But only a little. I tell her, "Well, after you said I couldn't see the kid, that was the deal breaker." I say this calmly. No emotion. No tears. Just matter of fact. She then goes on to say that I was just doing it for the kid. I tell her, matter of factly, no. She goes on to say that she knows I wanted a family, but that I couldn't deliver. I was too busy, etc.
I just shrug. She goes on about still loving me, how she didn't want to break up, how she doesn't want things to be like this and that it's hard. I just shrug again. It's been really easy for me, actually. I'm working on swallowing my red pill daily.
Finally, though, she gets tired of my indifference and just snaps. Says, "You know what, fine John Doe. Bye. Sigh..." I just say bye, and she slams my door and walks off to go home.
I'm guessing I was too indifferent? Too hard? I just don't know what else to say. I was pissed beyond belief at her, and she was giving me her rationalizations about how angry she was for months, etc., without going into detail (since I didn't ask her). And I'm sure she's already prepared to give herself a free pass. But I didn't bite on anything. I just didn't care.
Brick wall. Or was I really being a chump. I don't know.
The real questions is where do I go from here? I'm a boring, 30 year old man that has a life, but doesn't hang out at bars or clubs, etc. Where do I start looking first. The best revenge is living well. I'm ready to start.
So I had the "drop stuff off and talk" confrontation just now. Not sure if I kept any frame or proper mentality, so I'll just type what I did and see if you guys think I dropped the ball.
So she comes by after leaving a message that she'll show up in the evening with my things.
She shows up and is in a foul mood at first. Has the sunglasses on and a bag with my things. Her stuff, meanwhile, is outside in a pile. As she looks, she comments, "Wow, you didn't need to throw my stuff out like that."
No comment on my end, I just stand and start telling her where her things are, like specific items that she'll need. I stand and watch, and she comments again. "You can go back inside. You don't need to stand there and watch." This pisses me off, so I make a point to stand and watch for a bit. I do at one point politely offer to carry a bag, but it's of course declined.
As she gathers her things, I finally do just turn around and close my door. I sit down and start to complete my school work and watch my shows on my laptop. I don't care at that point if she leaves or not. She rings the bell again, and gives me my key. I hand her her spare key nonchalantly.
"Thanks."
I turn around and go inside. I take an email so I can send a file that she "told" me to send to a mutual friend a couple weeks ago (I ignored that request until she asked for it again). I then, once again, sit down. I go on to do my things.
"You know, I just, this isn't right. I don't like how things are between us."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're just a brick wall."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I mean, just tell me how you're feeling."
"I'm fine." *shrug*
She then proceeds to go on and on about how she felt, and again apologizes for the things she said to me (I still haven't acknowledged any of it), and talks about how she still loves me and doesn't want it to be like nothing has ever gone on between us. She wants me to "feel" something, I guess, and of course I'm really pissed off at her, etc. But I know this is a setup, or at least I think it is.
I finally give her some "honesty", since she asked for it. But only a little. I tell her, "Well, after you said I couldn't see the kid, that was the deal breaker." I say this calmly. No emotion. No tears. Just matter of fact. She then goes on to say that I was just doing it for the kid. I tell her, matter of factly, no. She goes on to say that she knows I wanted a family, but that I couldn't deliver. I was too busy, etc.
I just shrug. She goes on about still loving me, how she didn't want to break up, how she doesn't want things to be like this and that it's hard. I just shrug again. It's been really easy for me, actually. I'm working on swallowing my red pill daily.
Finally, though, she gets tired of my indifference and just snaps. Says, "You know what, fine John Doe. Bye. Sigh..." I just say bye, and she slams my door and walks off to go home.
I'm guessing I was too indifferent? Too hard? I just don't know what else to say. I was pissed beyond belief at her, and she was giving me her rationalizations about how angry she was for months, etc., without going into detail (since I didn't ask her). And I'm sure she's already prepared to give herself a free pass. But I didn't bite on anything. I just didn't care.
Brick wall. Or was I really being a chump. I don't know.
The real questions is where do I go from here? I'm a boring, 30 year old man that has a life, but doesn't hang out at bars or clubs, etc. Where do I start looking first. The best revenge is living well. I'm ready to start.