girlfriend says she's not interested anymore

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Does it matter? I had a friend who's girlfriend swung to another branch after 1 year. 8 months is nothing.

This is why it does matter, it can happen at any time and will happen to a lot of you guy time and time again until you realize how important it is to understand why she left and to learn from it. If you don't, more than likely it will continue to happen to you.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

There are two things to do here.

1. Move on. When your girl says these words, it is usually already over (80% of the time.)

2. Stop and Start over with what you were doing in the beginning of the relationship, the dating stage. Your current relationship routine is not what gets her going. Do what you were doing when her go was going. Maybe this means seeing her once a week for a date. Maybe this means calling her up only once a week. Maybe this means being mysterious so that she is wondering if you are seeing another girl. etc. etc.

 

[Juan_Man]

I'm sorry C16. There is a possibility that she just misses being single and doesn't want to be tied down, although sometimes this is a pretext for the fact that another guy came into the picture. Either way, it shouldn't matter why she broke up with you. It's over. Just move on. Don't get discouraged (easier said than done, I know) but move on to other girls. If you feel like you need a break, then take a break. But realize that there are other girls out there that may be a better match. Never buy into that whole "she was my soulmate" bullsh!t. You are very capable of finding love and happiness with another woman (or another, or another ...). As far as your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend goes, I would still be friends with her but don't go out of your way for her. Don't be bitter either. Just remember the good times that you shared with her during your eight months together. Some guys never get that far with women. I know I sound like Ann Landers here, but I think I am giving some solid advice. I hope this helps!

 

[Last Man Standing]

OR she's already interested in someone else and wants to clear her conscience by rationalizing her actions because "she's not into you" anymore.

We don't need to really even speculate - we know the answer!

Francisco, he was merely the next pimp in line - why give rationale to the irrational - the hor motto is "if it feels good do it"!! Don't you remember the 1960/1970's??? Same shyt for the last few decades!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We don't need to really even speculate - we know the answer!

Francisco, he was merely the next pimp in line - why give rationale to the irrational - the hor motto is "if it feels good do it"!! Don't you remember the 1960/1970's??? Same shyt for the last few decades!!

Agreed, but if experiencing a situation like this causes so much turmoil wouldn't it make sense to understand why so you can avoid the situation in the future?

 

[Juan_Man]

Agreed, but if experiencing a situation like this causes so much turmoil wouldn't it make sense to understand why so you can avoid the situation in the future?

I think when it comes to dating, there really isn't a lot you can do but roll with the punches and risk the chance of getting hurt. Sometimes, it's nobody's fault and things just happen.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I think when it comes to dating, there really isn't a lot you can do but roll with the punches and risk the chance of getting hurt. Sometimes, it's nobody's fault and things just happen.

No actions are truly arbitrary, everything happens for a reason. If you step in sh1t when you're walking, don't you make more of an effort to watch where you step the next time you're out? You may not have been the one to lay the log but none the less you stepped in it and it could have been avoided.

 

[BlackJackal]

It could just be the case that a relationship was built by vague infatuation anyway. Both fail to reach each other on a deeper level, like maybe develope a sense of comaradeship between them. It depends on how the relationship started I believe. I believe there has to be serious bond in the beginning. Not the whole soul mate typ of ****, but a bond that similar to the one's you have with family and close friends.

 

[C16]

She says that she's willing to stay in the relationship to see if we can get back to how we were before. I think she was just tired of me putting off several things in my life and just wants me to get my stuff in order already.

 

[Cremasta]

She says that she's willing to stay in the relationship to see if we can get back to how we were before. I think she was just tired of me putting off several things in my life and just wants me to get my stuff in order already.

So now she's doing you a favour by putting up with you while she decides if she likes you or not? Bollocks to that!

Tell her you're not sure about things and need to take a break. Make sure you get all of your stuff out of her house while it is still relatively amicable. Then do NOT contact her. You just concentrate on enjoying yourself.

Taking a break doesn't mean sitting around thinking how you are going to fix things with her. Taking a break means deciding whether or not she is a positive addition to your life.

 

[C16]

I already know she is a good thing in my life. She motivates me makes me happy. And she says I'm the best she's ever had because I'm not a jealous guy, she feels comfortable with me and trusts me, I'm not on her ass about where she is all the time and wants me to get my life going so she can introduce me to her mother which would make it easier for us to spend more time together.

I'm going for a interview for a new job soon, and she's always wanted me to get a better job. I think this could wake her up a bit.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

She motivates me makes me happy.

With that attitude, your relationship is inherently doomed and is probably the reason she's having doubts.

By that I mean it sounds like your happiness is too strongly dependent on the girl, which is NEVER a good thing.

 

[Juan_Man]

I really think you should let this girl go. She seems kind of demanding. It's one thing for a girl to encourage you to realize your potential but it's another thing if the girl is putting you on an ultimatum to get a better job so she can show you off to her mother. I agree with Cremasta. You need to take a break and decide if this is the kind of woman you want in your life. You should want a girl to encourage you in goals that you already set for yourself. Ask yourself this: do YOU want a better job or are you doing this because you are trying to prevent getting dumped?

 

[DJDamage]

Agreed, but if experiencing a situation like this causes so much turmoil wouldn't it make sense to understand why so you can avoid the situation in the future?

good point F'd. Its easy to banish a girl out of your life after she shows low interest's. But if you know you don't have a tight game like C16 (no offence) then there are ways to improve for the next girl by looking at some things he did wrong.

So, we've been going out for 8 months and it seems that everything was great

When you first met were you seeing other women? did she know that you are stud or you had difficulty of meeting women? were you good with women to begin with or you feel as if you "got lucky" with this girl? correct me if I am wrong but I bet after the first date with this girl you probably never looked back. You put her on the pedestal and gave her all you attention without her deserving it or earning it didn't you?

We're completely honest to each other about everything and we get along great.

I never met anyone who was completley honest with a girl to have a successful relationship. There are things that you shouldn't vomit to a girl and keep to yourself. I believe you got to comfortable with the relationship and things became complacent and stale. You stopped being mysterious and became dull and predictable. Nothing was pushing this girl to get out of her comfort zone.

But lately it seems like she's avoiding me so I ask her about it and she says her feelings have change, she's not sure how she feels, doesn't think the relationship can continue and that it's not my fault and she's not sure what she wants to do about us.

Translation: "I want out!"

so I'm not sure if playing "hard to get" will work with her. What do you guys think?

You don't "act" and pretend you are hard to get. You BECOME hard to get by setting up multiple dates with different women and thus you naturally become hard to get because these women are vying for your attention and "YOU" pick and choose who you want. This is the only way you can lift your value in her eyes and you might be able to raise her interest in you. However once you are in that position (dating and fvcking different women) you yourself probably wouldn't want anything to do with this cold turkey ex of a girlfriend.

 

[WildCard]

The Solid Gold TRUTH

So, we've been going out for 8 months and it seems that everything was great.

Couldn't have been THAT great - now could it have?

We're completely honest to each other about everything and we get along great.

Trans: I tell her everything about how I feel and she has my nuts in a little silk purse around her neck

But lately it seems like she's avoiding me so I ask her about it and she says her feelings have change, she's not sure how she feels, doesn't think the relationship can continue and that it's not my fault and she's not sure what she wants to do about us.

Trans: I'm getting ready to phuck somone more interesting and I'm telling you this BS to spare your feelings

I asked some of my female friends and one says I should surprise her with something romantic that might spark her interest again and the other one says I should stop giving her all the attention that I do and wait for her to miss me, and let her call me.

OK...with VERY FEW EXCEPTIONS - never, ever, EVER ask b!tches about what to do - they will not give you good advice; R O M A N T I C gesture - geeeesh!!! Phuk-that man - how about you GIVE HER EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS, LEAVE...BE GONE...otherwise my fine feathered friend she is going to crush you up like a bean in a coffee grinder

I'm not sure it'll work, because it's hard enough to set up a date between us these days, let alone a romantic dinner, and she's not the kind of girl that plays games, so I'm not sure if playing "hard to get" will work with her. What do you guys think?

This is so easy it hurts - become unavailable; get sh!t in your life going - work, school, hobby, OTHER CHICKS, and just forget about her...and I am deadly serious about this: act as if you NEVER KNEW HER...do this for about a month (oh, and do you REALLY think its a coincidence that VALENTINES day is just around the corner champ???

~ WildCard ~

Veritas Lux Mea

 

[WildCard]

This is me almost slapping you

I already know she is a good thing in my life.

Yeah, so good that she's about to go bonk some other dude and tell you its because she's having doubts - follow my advice friend otherwise you are DEAD

She motivates me makes me happy. And she says I'm the best she's ever had because I'm not a jealous guy, she feels comfortable with me and trusts me, I'm not on her ass about where she is all the time and wants me to get my life going so she can introduce me to her mother which would make it easier for us to spend more time together.

So what you're saying is that you'll make more money and that will save the relationship - tell you what man...hooker - they like rich guys too; BECOME UNAVAILABLE...even if she does just DISAPPEAR hahahahahahaahaha ... you will have already been weening yourself off of the Love-Drug

I'm going for a interview for a new job soon, and she's always wanted me to get a better job. I think this could wake her up a bit.

Can this ho...DONT TELL HER...JUST DO IT - NIKE syle...

~ WildCard ~

Veritas Lux Mea

 

[WildCard]

So now she's doing you a favour by putting up with you while she decides if she likes you or not? Bollocks to that!

Tell her you're not sure about things and need to take a break. Make sure you get all of your stuff out of her house while it is still relatively amicable. Then do NOT contact her. You just concentrate on enjoying yourself.

Yeah, I just say he disappears...like shut off his cell phone during the day except when he needs to make a call and the shut it off immediately thereafter...this works - FIELD TESTED

Taking a break doesn't mean sitting around thinking how you are going to fix things with her. Taking a break means deciding whether or not she is a positive addition to your life.

Yeah, I'm gonna disagree with that one - taking a break means weening off of her and finding something else so that when the inevitable crack in will-power shows itself (on either side) that he's in a better position to get what he wants - if he even knows what that is given the BS that's going down

~ WildCard ~

Veritas Lux Mea

 

[frivolousz21]

DO NOT STAY THIS WITH GIRL

I KNOW IT HURTS..IT ALWAYS DOES..IT SUCKS BALLS.

BUT THAT IS WHAT IS....

believe me man.this WOMAN DOES NOT LOVE YOU..IM SORRY.

THAT SUCKS.

but trust me she doesnt....when Love is exstablished..its like being addicted to drugs..and it takes a lot on both sides for it to break down..

yes people make mistakes and still love someone...but this isnt a mistake..and at 8 MONTHS she should still be madly in love and this is the point where you start to settle in and the chemicals switch to more of a familiar family/friend type love.

you are being her ***** right now..she is using power over you...which is anther sign of her lacking feelings...she feels more guilty then she feels powerful emotions for you.

its hurts but your about to make it hurt worse