Girlfriend of 5 years cheated (99.9% sure)

[The Juan and only]

Do whatever you want. As obvious as that seems. Except, actually do what you want.

I've had situations where I don't give a sh!t if they "cheat". The lying is worse, but the amount to which you care about that really depends on you.

And remember that any guy's advice here will be based on his own values (mostly "I need the girl to be exclusive to the extent I want to get the upper hand to feel better/get away from her if she breaks my trust/etc" - which is fine). But take it all as subjective.
FYI Keeping a girl around as a FB in this type of situation is fine as long as you're genuinely cool with it.

My opinion about your situation is that she'll only become more disrespectful and selfish as time goes on, you f-ed up on account of being a p*ssy and you'll struggle to go back on that curve. And it's likely not worth the effort.

Go talk to some other girls, most of them are nice, bored, going about their day, would love to get to know you, anybody -- make your intentions clear. If not them, then the next one. If that sounds robotic - it's not. It's just a better way to start a relationship than the be friendly method.

 

[Fruitbat]

She is 22. Do not listen to people saying you can never trust her again. She is 22 for Christ's sake.

I would be more worried about the pfft boyfriend line. And the pressure line.

Loled at how she says it shows how bad the relationship is. Not her fault, the relationships fault. And therefore partly your fault.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

OR demote her into a FB if it is possible.
i have some FB who were LTR at one time, but they were dramaqueens / cheaters / idiots. it is risky though, you could end up hurt or she can put you in a bad light.

with the cheater one i basically did like this:

i told her a friend of mine saw her with a guy the other night. she told me it is not true, and other BS. i calmly told her i don't mind, we are not like married or something, we are 2 free people exploring possibilities, so let's just have an open relationship since we obviously get along very well, and like each other. she actually was happy about it and we meet occasionally (1-2 times per month) for some sexy time.

 

[itdude]

OP should change the name of this thread to Girlfriend of 5 years cheated (100% sure)

she looks like she is going to dump the OP sooner or later so get out now.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

OP, if you are able to get a girlfriend then you are able to get laid so I wouldn't worry

 

[DJ Bax]

I really want an update from OP.

 

[buzzin_frog]

You can that see this relationship is over....she will dump you if you decide to hang on.....she should be dumped!!

Chicks from 18-23 don't take relationships seriously......they want to have as much fun as they can.....guys with good game can easily get in their pants.....especially when the chick is on the fence of the relationship

This is why you should wait to be in a relationship until you are older......chicks are too immature and you end up wasting your time in a relationship.....when you can be spinning plates instead

The dude that got with her didn't have to be in a relationship with her.....that's what you should be doing as well

Focus on yourself first, not in relationships...spin plates in the meantime.....get as successful as you can....then you can get higher value chicks and you can live a better lifestyle.

These chicks will hold you back in life....then cheat on you and disappear....I've seen this happen a lot to people I know.....now they wish they were spinning plates instead!!



You know what she did because you read it on facebook

I would not confront her at all......that is what a hurt and weak man does

When you confront her, she is going to tell you all the bad things about you and the relationship...she will justify what she did by saying you didn't do this or that for me....do you really want to hear all that?

No matter what she did wrong, she will paint you as the "bad guy" for making her do it...chicks always need something to justify their actions....her is action will be YOU

Start looking for other chicks and fvck them......give this chick a little taste of her own medicine and tell her to fvck off.

She doesn't think too highly of you.....even her friend is laughing at you...don't let her put you in bad spot...one up this b!tch.....get a good fvck and have the last laugh!!

Don't confront.....fvck...then tell her to fvck off

It's a lot better than hearing a bunch of bvllsh!t about how bad of a boyfriend she thinks you are!!

She is 22. Do not listen to people saying you can never trust her again. She is 22 for Christ's sake.

WTF? Who cares how old she is!!...when someone lies to you and cheats on you....that breaks your trust....you can't trust that person anymore....Talk about a White Knight...you take the cake!!

I would be more worried about the pfft boyfriend line. And the pressure line.

Yeah, and you want to trust a chick like that?

Not her fault, the relationships fault. And therefore partly your fault.

"Not her fault" you say? how the hell is it not her fault?..LOL...It's her fault for cheating....I bet you get walked all over in your relationships!!

 

[happyman2012]

Im 100% sure she did something bad that you wouldnt agree with.

Perhaps she let someone slap her ass, or touched someones **** or played strip poker with someone, who knows!
It COULD be something and nothing, but I really doubt that. If its big enough for her friend to ask her about a guy and whats happend and them to gossip about it then its definetly SOMETHING!

Im 99% sure she cheated

Either way I would end it, because if she had any love and respect for you she wouldnt have done it in the first place. Your only option is to leave her.

Your going to be angry, upset, hurt, confused and want answers and the truth. You wont get them, or at least the FULL truth (from her) The truth is for what ever reason she disrespected you. End of.

My main concern is what she said:
"wtf my boyfriend pfft haha" = I dont care what he thinks or says and I dont have respect for him
"but i think the way i actually said it made it sound like i didnt have a boyfriend!" = Without even thinking she is acting single
"do u ever feel like being in a long term relationship is too much pressure?" = SHE feels like there is too much pressure. This could be your fault or it might just be her

Again, your going to be angry, upset, hurt, confused and want answers and the truth. Its very easy to lose your dignity in a situation like this.

YOU NEED TO KEEP CALM.
DO NOT REACT without thinking
DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT FACEBOOK OR WHAT YOU HAVE READ.

If you start pretending her best friend told you youll probably make the situation even bigger and cause more stress for yourself, and to be honest they will probably end up being friends again within two weeks. They will eventually turn it round on you making you the bad guy. They stick together like that.

The best "currency" we have with women is our time, and the POWER TO WALK AWAY

So if you have stuff at hers, act cool, collect your things and leave. Dont say anything about what you know. If shes got things at yours, get them all together in a bin bag and leave them outside your door.

Do not speak to her again.
This will kill her more than anything else you could do.

Ignore her calls and texts, her sorrys, her crying, her anger, ignore her if she comes to your door. If you pass her in the street, ignore her.

Dont ignore her in a angry upset spitfull way, just cool calm and collected. Even smile/smirk! Just think to yourself "I know what you did, I know Im worth more, you lost out big time and now your kicking yourself...HA" That will make you smile/smirk and give off the right energy.

Have the mindframe that its not even a problem. INDIFFERENT!

Sorry to hear whats happend mate. I think nearly everyone has had something like this happen at LEAST once.

Sometimes its down to how YOU are, and sometimes they are just ****ing idiots.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Its the small things that matter a lot to women

 

[the_stig]

lol this.

when i was 22 years old i was dating a chick for a year, she lived with me by this time. she went ot the club every thursday with her sister, came home like clockwork at about 12:30am. i had no problme with this i knew what she was doing. one day however she comes strolling in like at 4am in the morning and her phone rings like 3 mintues later and it's some dude asking did she get home okay.

i rolled over, went to bed admist her trying to talk to me. woke up before she did, put her **** in a garbage, put it outside, called a lock smith and changed the lock and told her to GFTO. no drama, no nothing. i was done. just like that.

Yup. One thing I've learned is that when their routine suddenly changes without an immediate clear cut explanation, its almost a sure sign she's up to some monkey business. I also feel that any girl who regularly frequents bars or night club type establishments is bound to slip up sooner or later and as a result the circumstances would have to be extraordinary for me to really take take one seriously as a LTR.

 

[DonGorgon]

I really want an update from OP.

all i want to hear is that he turned her into an F buddy

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

lol this.

what should happen: break up, go no contact, don't get sucked in, move on with life

what WILL happen: guy will make some half ass attempt to talk to her, she will deny deny deny, she will fvck his brains out and he will think is all right with the world. 2 weeks later she will do it again and this time she will leave him, he will come here crying like a little ***** and start overanalyzing every facebook post she has like it's the national budget and he's a defeict hawk. he will keep trying to get the upper hand on her and it will never work and he will just get more and more fustrated, which will turn into spite and he will then start to hate women....

when i was 22 years old i was dating a chick for a year, she lived with me by this time. she went ot the club every thursday with her sister, came home like clockwork at about 12:30am. i had no problme with this i knew what she was doing. one day however she comes strolling in like at 4am in the morning and her phone rings like 3 mintues later and it's some dude asking did she get home okay.

i rolled over, went to bed admist her trying to talk to me. woke up before she did, put her **** in a garbage, put it outside, called a lock smith and changed the lock and told her to GFTO. no drama, no nothing. i was done. just like that.

Church!!

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

 

[altec]

I really want an update from OP.

Have a feeling he didn't break up with her and that is why he isn't coming back to update.. Worried about how everyone will react here.

I had a situation once where I read something on a girls computer by accident and then it lead me to snoop more. Found out she had kissed a guy in the summer while we were dating (but, living in seperate countries). The thing is, it was in a different language (chat log between the two of them) and I couldn't be 100% sure that is what I read... Anyway, I tried deleting my tracks and turns out she had some program on there that logged changes and she noticed it and called me out on it. It became about my snooping vs. about her actions... BIG lesson learnt that day.. I should have just ended things before that because she was a crappy GF vs. snooping.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

To the OP, your experience with this will benefit you greatly, experience is more important for men than it is for women

 

[Voice]

I've been the "other guy" before. The one that the girl 'cheated' with. Pretty similar situation. This is just a perspective from the other side.

I went to some house party in college when I was single. It was just me, my buddy and two girls hanging out after the party had been over. He had already hooked up with the one girl in the past and supposedly the other girl had a boyfriend. No big deal, I was just there to have fun. All I did was start dancing and soon this other girl was grinding all over me. When I sat down she sat on my lap and started giving me a lap dance. I flirted a little bit but I already knew what was going to happen. Sooner than later we were hooking up and I was feeling up her boobs and pvssy right on the dance floor. "I would fvck you so hard if I didn't have a boyfriend" she said.

I tried to work my magic but no matter what she wouldn't let me fvck her. She kept saying "I love my bf too much, he's a great guy" while I was rubbing her pvssy.

Girls like this are amazing. They will rationalize their behavior. This girl didn't think she was cheating! At the time I was just horny, and I'm sure she was too and just trying to have fun. I never saw this girl again and don't even remember her name. However, I wouldn't be surprised if this girl did this again with some other dude and don't be surprised if you girl does either. Maybe next time she'll even take it a step farther. The question is, are you OK with it?

Just my two cents.

 

[denverfan110]

She clearly seems at least a little bit distraught about it and if you've been with her for a 5 years shes obviously a better specimen than most.

Follow Slickster's advice to the T. Don't throw her friend under the bus.

 

[Big Nuts]

I banged probably 50 chicks from age 17-22....have zero regrets when I see a youngin pine for a chick at such a young age when all that p00n is out there.

 

[averageguy]

how did you get her facebook password? she gave it to you?

 

[machoMax]

maybe you should dump here, before she do that.and as I can see she will sooner or later