Girlfriend is friends with another guy. Shlts me.

Juan_Man

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Splendidostring said:
I'm actually friend with a girl which has a boyfriend. (I've known her for a long time, I've kissed her while she had a boyfriend but didn't have sex with here). My intention is to do something toward her, if the possibility happens. It might sound harsh, but it's the truth. If I see an opening, it will definitely take it.
Not every guy is looking to move in on another guy's girlfriend. Sometimes, he is just being nice and looking for a different type of opening - a way out!!!!
 

Jitterbug

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lordson, imagine yourself in a few years time, staying at home on a Friday night looking after a baby, while wifey is out partying. Not so different to where you are at now, except that if you try to put your foot down, she can threaten to leave you, take the baby and half your sh!t.

Anyway, remember that although the workmate might be in the FZ or gay or whatever, she could be meeting other guys through him. You know this workmate but are never invited to anything they go to together for a reason.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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So, where is this guy? Is he taking our advice and waiting to reply or is he a troll?
 

lordson

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it was the weekend, i was out. with my girlfriend. Just a bit of an update, thanks for all the replies btw, it may have sounded work than it actually was. havn't talked to her about it much yet, but theres nothing changed in our relationship over the years, its still strong not deteriorated, its just that her behaviour annoyed me. i'll ask her why she didn't ask her friend whether i could come or not and say that she should have. and if she does it again then i'll have a problem.

I've met the guy before, at the very start, so i'v made my presence known and he knows it. he's not the type of guy that would move in on someon'es elses girl. Trust me when i say there's no question she'll cheat, or he'l attempt something, its jsut what you've guys been saying. What does she see in him that she needs to go out without me. Its not like he's her only friend.

The main reason she sees him every week, is that she's a bit used to it now, because for 6 months i work Mon-Fri 110km away, and would drive back on Sat+Sun, so she used to hang out with once a week him to fill her time during the week.

I dunno. I'll ask her about the party thing later and see her reaction to it. She knew that after dinner that the plan was to go to a club, but why the fvck would she want to go without me, she didn't even ask the question.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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lordson said:
The main reason she sees him every week, is that she's a bit used to it now, because for 6 months i work Mon-Fri 110km away, and would drive back on Sat+Sun, so she used to hang out with once a week him to fill her time during the week.
So, you work out of town 5 days a week. You come home for the weekend then, she goes to a party with this guy? Does that happen often or just that 1 time you werent invited?

How old are you and how old is she?

Why won't she hang out with you and your friends?

You do not know 100% of what she does 5 days out of the week. Keep that in mind. Right now you have a mindset of she is the "one" and she will not cheat. I'm not saying she will or is. But, if you get stuck in that mind set and ignore other things you will wind up fvcked in the head if she ever did cheat.

Protect your heart man and don't believe everything a woman tells you. Trust her and love her now but, don't give her 100% of your heart. Watch her actions.
 

lordson

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we're both mid 20's

she's not going to a party with this guy, its a birthday party with one of the friends she met thorugh him. i mean freaking ridiculous. she calls him her 'friend' but its a bloody friend of a friend

its only been for the last 6 months, and the last 3 months i've been home for holidays, and we've seen each other every hour every day pretty much. thats why she felt the need to say ''can't see each other all the time''

i call her everyday and we tell each other about her day, when i'm away. I do trust her, i just don't like the situation
 

KidwithSocks

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you come home 2 days a week and she doesn't want to hang out with you?

you calling her a lot, that isn't an excuse, if she loves you she would spent those 2 days with you no matter.

prepare for the worst tomorrow, lessen the impact and heartache, pull your trust and look for other woman because im completely sure her mind is wandering also. (if she isnt doing so already)
 

Nutz

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Okay, now things are becoming clear. The OP is less the boyfriend than he thinks he is. He's just the guy she's seeing right now. Make no mistake, she is out there having her fun in every way imaginable. She's getting her cake and eating it too. As soon as he puts his foot down and wants more from the relationship she's going to bolt. Seen this a million times and he's going through all the same mistakes everyone else goes through in this type of situation/relationship.
 
U

user43770

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lordson said:
The main reason she sees him every week, is that she's a bit used to it now, because for 6 months i work Mon-Fri 110km away, and would drive back on Sat+Sun, so she used to hang out with once a week him to fill her time during the week.
She's probably fvcking him. Sorry, man.
 

sodbuster

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I had a GF like that once, so I'm speaking from experience[well,I was dating other women at the same time-but she was the one I was most interested in] She was just waiting for 'the one' to marry. If I would have been able to build my dental office up to where it is now a little faster-I'd be married to her. BUT I didn't and she didn't wait for it,she married someone else. I was just the fail safe device [BF] Even the sweetest woman is still a focking mercenary. They look out for number one!
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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lordson said:
we're both mid 20's

she's not going to a party with this guy, its a birthday party with one of the friends she met thorugh him. i mean freaking ridiculous. she calls him her 'friend' but its a bloody friend of a friend

its only been for the last 6 months, and the last 3 months i've been home for holidays, and we've seen each other every hour every day pretty much. thats why she felt the need to say ''can't see each other all the time''

i call her everyday and we tell each other about her day, when i'm away. I do trust her, i just don't like the situation
I highlighted a couple things.

A girl who has high interest level in you will want to see you all the time. But, sometimes too much is too much for any relationship. Though either way a girl with high IL will want to be with you 24/7 and calling you most of the time.

I know this is personal. But, how is your sex life? Is it the same, more, less, does she do things or want to try things with you; you never done before?

Maybe you call her too much? Let her call you...

You are both still young. She may want to keep partying and hanging out with guys. While your ready to settle down. Because, I don't think she is taking this relationship too seriously.
 

lordson

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well i asked her why she didn't even consider to ask her friend to invite me to. the friend invited her, and it sounded ALOT like she was using 'woman logic' they way you guys were talking about before.

she says it was just a private guest list thing, and he probably didn't want to invite somebody he didn't know, and normally i hate going to clubs and dancing and made it known, so that was another reason she said. and she then goes to presume that i didn't want to go with people i didn't know, saying ''i wouldn't really want to go out with peopel i didn't know'', but she doesn't even know him that well. friend of a friend. f'ing ridiculous

her tone was quite dismissive, and i let it by, but if i bring it up again it'll sound like i'm dwelling too much. fvck it, i'll let it go this time, but if she does it again, ever, i'm going to bloody lose it.

our relationship is completely fine. sex once a week, like usual. well established loving relationship, i just don't understand this behaviour. It is innocent behaviour, friends are friends on her part, but she obviously doesn't seem to know what is appropriate or not. shes been going out with another workmate alot these days, but a girl. sees her like 2 times a week for lunch, and i'm fine with that, its just what you guys have been saying, once she prioritises going out with them over me, then that really ticks me off.
 

guitaronfire411

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If you read my recent posts, my ex did the exact same thing. I was right there when she got invited to a comedy club over the phone and her sister asked how I was. SHE PURPOSELY DID NOT INVITE ME.

This is a sign. This is not good. She should put you over her friends or GTFO.
 

PlayToWin

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Lets put it this way, its obvious to any person of any age, male or female, that if she is leaving you home on a friday night to go out with her "guy friend" that is seems really suspicious.

In my opinion, any faithful woman would realize how bad that looks and would realize how you could get suspicious, so she would either never put you in that situation to begin with, or if you brought it up she would immediately stop doing it.

Think about it, if the roles were reversed, you would realize how suspicious that would look and if she ever brought it up, you would recognize how founded the suspicion was.

If your suspicious of something, more often then not you suspicions are proven true in my opinion.
 

eaglez1177

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TyTe`EyEz said:
She's probably fvcking him. Sorry, man.
I agree. Sorry bro but if this girl is ditching the man she loves on a friday night to go hang out or party with some "friends" then shes got cheater written all over her.

Idk how you could plan on marrying this woman at a time like this so you better talk things over with her fast.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Keep in mind what everyone has been telling you. Don't over react or get suspicious for no reason. Cause, you don't want to get insecure feelings over nothing. Just watch her actions towards you.

Next time she mentions seeing this guy. Tell her you want to get out and have fun with her. If she denies. Ask her; Why not? you wouldnt be hiding anything would you? Then, see how she reacts.

Then, come back and let us know.

Hell, leave her a$$ at home and go out to a bar and meet new chicks. Then, when she wants to see this guy friend. You can tell her your going out to see some girls you met. Throw the sh!t right back at her.
 

Nutz

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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Next time she mentions seeing this guy. Tell her you want to get out and have fun with her. If she denies. Ask her; Why not? you wouldnt be hiding anything would you? Then, see how she reacts.

Then, come back and let us know.

This thread has been going on long enough that if he was going to do anything to that effect we'd heard about it by now. That's right lordson, I'm calling you out!
 

lordson

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i have talked to her couple days ago remember ^^^

and i mentioned it again today if she could ask her friend if i could go, and she said that it was emailed to her and he wanted to know numbers to finalise everything and it was too late now. so i said to her, so you had time to consider whether or not i could go and she said 'i already told you why'. i said forget it. so we'll just leave it at that, it better not happen again. she knows where i stand now

anyway, my plan is to go out on that night, with maybe a female friend, and when she asks what i did, i'll tell her 'why do you care what i did, you're the one that left me alone that night so whatever i did was up to me'. although i don't really want to play those games.

somebody once gave me some advice, regarding this, and they said, that you'll either have to trust them or not, and if you keep looking for something to be wrong, eventually you'll find it. so best to leave it.
 
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