Girlfriend Is Behaving Distant?

[soulforge]

The argument was simply a guise to pull the trigger to the break up agenda that she’s been holding on to for a while.

Any girl who is head over heels for you would forgive and forget even if you did much worse.

Don’t be hurt by this. Rather look deeper to find out why you didn’t ignite that “trooper” attraction. Look to the subtleties of things she mentioned, qualities she admired, certain nuances she was drawn or averse to, what aspects or conditions her ex whom she had feelings for held that you didn’t—and you shall find your answer.

Some other questions to consider;

1) Were your boundaries lacking?
2) Did she respect you?
3) Did she admire you?
4) Was she physically into you?
5) Whom between you was more emotionally invested? Why?
6) Who did the initiating or chasing? If both, what % did she and did you?

I hear what you are saying man.. However I think the biggest contributer to things not working out, was the distance.. and a lack of communication.

To answer your questions.

01. My boundaries where ALWAYS rock solid.. She instinctively knew never to step over a certain line.. She was never rude or disrespectful towards me.

02. Yes she respected me.. Always followed my lead, and talked and behaved in a respectful manner.

03. Did she admire me? She admired how no matter what, i worked my ass off in the gym, she admired the fact I do great in my job, and she admired me for not taking any kinda chit from anyone.

03.The sex between us was always good, but it did die down a little near the end.. We still had good sex, just a little less often.. This generally does happen a couple of years into a relationship.

04. We both was emotionally invested.. But she was the first to say I Love You.. She was the first hold me and kiss me, when we met up..

05.Initiating was 70% her.. 30% me... She would ALWAYS be the one to text me first thing in the morning. And i would send the text in the afternoon after work... We rarely texted each other during the day.

Near the end, we had a couple of arguments that where quite minor, but it created some distance between us.

As for her EX... All she ever told me was that he was a complete azzhole, who treated her bad, and he left her for another woman.

The fact is I shouldn't be investing in a relationship with a woman, who is long distance.. and I cannot be with her for another 4-5 years.. Its a waste of time.

I am moving the fuk on!

 

[guru1000]

Of course you’re moving on, there’s no doubt. I’m more interested in placing you in a position where you never make a thread like this again. Capiche brother?!

You can be a man who never gets dumped and will do all the dumping from now on. I want you there.

You mentioned you had several arguments. What transpired after the arguments that got you back into communications? Who reached out to whom? Where was your power lost? Think and share to release this forever.

 

[soulforge]

Of course you’re moving on, there’s no doubt. I’m more interested in placing you in a position where you never make a thread like this again. Capiche brother?!

You can be a man who never gets dumped and will do all the dumping from now on. I want you there.

You mentioned you had several arguments. What transpired after the arguments that got you back into communications? Who reached out to whom? Where was your power lost? Think and share to release this forever.

After both arguments, she reached out to me, and made up for it... and on both occasions sent a text message to apologise.. No power was lost.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I wish I didn't have to tell her to be careful.. but believe me when I tell you this, she is quite a naive character.. I had to help her find a mechanic for her car, as she got ripped off a few times.

She was paying twice as much car insurance as she should have been paying, she asked me to help her find a better policy.. Which I did.

Her last two partners (according to her) treated her terribly... Her last long term partner, left her and moved in with another woman.

I'm probably one of the few people who treated her well.

We only had a couple of little arguments, and those where just recently.. Maybe she became resentful.

This is the problem with long distance relationships, its difficult to communicate and resolve problems face to face. MOST of your time is spent apart from each other.

It sound's like it was played out.

In future, girl gets distant, LMR or a ****ty attitude, check out. Plate her.

Go get more girls.

 

[zekko]

I don't agree with this idea that there is some sort of shame in a girl deciding to end a relationship with you.
That you always have to beat her to the punch, and be the dumper, or else you're somehow less of a man.
Most likely, she knew the long distance thing wasn't going to work, and ended it.

As I said before, women tend to be more attuned to relationships status than we are.
We can improve on this, but it doesn't mean it has to turn into some sort of d!ck measuring contest.
I've always said there is no way to guarantee a relationship, or to be so alpha that no women would ever break up with you.

 

[soulforge]

It sound's like it was played out.

In future, girl gets distant, LMR or a ****ty attitude, check out. Plate her.

Go get more girls.

Well the distancing thing was very sudden.. I sensed it on Tuesday afternoon and by Thursday night it was over.. I was actually thinking of a pre emptive dumping, however that can lead to second guessing yourself, on wether you did the right thing or not.

Either way it would have ended.. Rather now, than two years down the line!

Good advise though mate.. Thanks

 

[soulforge]

I don't agree with this idea that there is some sort of shame in a girl deciding to end a relationship with you.
That you always have to beat her to the punch, and be the dumper, or else you're somehow less of a man.
Most likely, she knew the long distance thing wasn't going to work, and ended it.

As I said before, women tend to be more attuned to relationships status than we are.
We can improve on this, but it doesn't mean it has to turn into some sort of d!ck measuring contest.
I've always said there is no way to guarantee a relationship, or to be so alpha that no women would ever break up with you.

Its true man, she probably realised the long distance thing is BS and bailed out.

I should have been smart enough, not to invest in a situation like this in the first place.. I know better for the future!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Well the distancing thing was very sudden.. I sensed it on Tuesday afternoon and by Thursday night it was over.. I was actually thinking of a pre emptive dumping, however that can lead to second guessing yourself, on wether you did the right thing or not.

Either way it would have ended.. Rather now, than two years down the line!

Good advise though mate.. Thanks

Do you watch RMG? I highly suggest it. The panel is a bit much. Rollo is superb. His ego is a bit annoying and the call outs are as peterson points out, the fragmentation in the manosphere (red pill, pua, mgtow, mras, etc). The solution imho is power in numbers and agreeing to disagree.

I could be mistaken but, similar to the divorces, women plot escapes. Furthermore, they usually do so in cowardice fashion as in, line up plan B. Either wants to be single meaning skiing down cawk mountain or after bigger better prize. In either case, optimisation of hypergamy.

The solution is to be married to the game. Jonathan today said its like rpg. Think Skyrim or fable. You sir are the GOAT, the main character AND STAR OF THE SHOW. The girl is a guest appearance, a accessory like a ring or piece of armor, and or elixir. There is always more accessories. You can also drop on and get more.

True GOAT STATUS in the game is adoption of the philosophy and moreover, living accordingly. There's a disassociated nature to Playboy lifestyle. This is not up for debate. She falls in line or she GTFO.

Therein lies the MARK of a alpha. That movie reeks red pill. Its about leaving a dent in the universe.

I lead. She follows or next. #nextSet #micdrop

Hotter girls are turning 18, 19 20 21 everyday.

Check into inner circle. Attend free tour. Go the ****kkk off in 2019. When yiu see ex, have a top form SMV 18-23 chick on your arm. Not sweeter feeling then running into slobs from your past.

Bitches be fat as ****kkk, single mom, bastard kids diff baby daddy.

Enjoy the ride.

 

[soulforge]

Do you watch RMG? I highly suggest it. The panel is a bit much. Rollo is superb. His ego is a bit annoying and the call outs are as peterson points out, the fragmentation in the manosphere (red pill, pua, mgtow, mras, etc). The solution imho is power in numbers and agreeing to disagree.

I could be mistaken but, similar to the divorces, women plot escapes. Furthermore, they usually do so in cowardice fashion as in, line up plan B. Either wants to be single meaning skiing down cawk mountain or after bigger better prize. In either case, optimisation of hypergamy.

The solution is to be married to the game. Jonathan today said its like rpg. Think Skyrim or fable. You sir are the GOAT, the main character AND STAR OF THE SHOW. The girl is a guest appearance, a accessory like a ring or piece of armor, and or elixir. There is always more accessories. You can also drop on and get more.

True GOAT STATUS in the game is adoption of the philosophy and moreover, living accordingly. There's a disassociated nature to Playboy lifestyle. This is not up for debate. She falls in line or she GTFO.

Therein lies the MARK of a alpha. That movie reeks red pill. Its about leaving a dent in the universe.

I lead. She follows or next. #nextSet #micdrop

Hotter girls are turning 18, 19 20 21 everyday.

Check into inner circle. Attend free tour. Go the ****kkk off in 2019. When yiu see ex, have a top form SMV 18-23 chick on your arm. Not sweeter feeling then running into slobs from your past.

Bitches be fat as ****kkk, single mom, bastard kids diff baby daddy.

Enjoy the ride.

Haha very interesting

 

[sosousage]

So last weekend me and the GF had a little argument, it was nothing major.

Anyhow since then she is acting distant.. doesn't seem to be making much effort to text with conversation, just being very brief with her messages..

"Hope you had a good day etc"

Been seeing her nearly two years, but only on weekends due to work commitments and some distance between us.

Anyhow I can tell something is up..

I told her off a little last week, because she signed up with some sales man, who came to her door, then later he tried his best to get her bank account details.. I told her that was a silly move and she should had been more careful.

She claimed i was picking on her lol WTF.. anyhow in the two years being seeing her, we barely ever argued.. maybe just once.


All week i have sensed distance.. She is meant to be coming over to see me tomorrow, but my spidey senses are telling me, she will bail out and cancel.

Possible she may break up by tomorrow? Soooo if she does send the break up text or make an excuse not to come.

Should I just ignore her, and not respond back?

Or simply agree with the break up, and say "Thats fine with me good luck"


Ignore completely? Or reply back?

To be honest i have treated this chick well, and have always kept my alpha game up... If she decides to end things, its her fuking loss!

once beta always beta

 

[soulforge]

once beta always beta

Don't talk about your dad in that way lol

 

[guru1000]

I don't agree with this idea that there is some sort of shame in a girl deciding to end a relationship with you.
That you always have to beat her to the punch, and be the dumper, or else you're somehow less of a man.
Most likely, she knew the long distance thing wasn't going to work, and ended it.

As I said before, women tend to be more attuned to relationships status than we are.
We can improve on this, but it doesn't mean it has to turn into some sort of d!ck measuring contest.
I've always said there is no way to guarantee a relationship, or to be so alpha that no women would ever break up with you.

Correct about no relationship guarantee but that rests on whether you wish to continue. Incorrect that you have no control as to the outcome. Some people will never get dumped and are very in tune with the relational dynamics while they are at play, and operate accordingly.

Keeping her attraction is well within your reach. It’s only a question of whether you want to invest the effort needed.

Getting dumped means you weren’t paying attention to the sub-context and only to “appearances”—as her loss of interest occurred long before her exit.

 

[zekko]

Some people will never get dumped and are very in tune with the relational dynamics while they are at play, and operate accordingly.

I know people who have never been dumped, who have only had one relationship their entire life (married their first girlfriend, and stayed married). There'd a certain amount of luck involved with this too.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I know there are guys who will say "an alpha male must never (or will never) be dumped". You can take a pre-emptive attitude and dump her at the first sign of trouble, but I'm not convinced that's the best way to do business. When you are dealing with another sentient human being, no I don't believe you can ever be assured of having full control over her (even if such a thing were desirable).

I just don't want guys going up to soulforge saying "Oooh, soulforge, you got dumped, wow that's too bad, you must really be a beta at heart, if you were a true DJ and alpha male this wouldn't have happened, she'd still be begging you to lather your balls with her tongue. You better go read the Book of Pook again and pay more attention this time. Check out The Rationale Male".

I'm sure he's bright enough to learn his own lessons from it. I think it's okay to invest in a woman, but you always need to keep a part of yourself held back. You always need to be open to the possibility of something like this happening and be prepared for it.

 

[guru1000]

I know people who have never been dumped, who have only had one relationship their entire life (married their first girlfriend, and stayed married). There'd a certain amount of luck involved with this too.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I know there are guys who will say "an alpha male must never (or will never) be dumped". You can take a pre-emptive attitude and dump her at the first sign of trouble, but I'm not convinced that's the best way to do business. When you are dealing with another sentient human being, no I don't believe you can ever be assured of having full control over her (even if such a thing were desirable).

I just don't want guys going up to soulforge saying "Oooh, soulforge, you got dumped, wow that's too bad, you must really be a beta at heart, if you were a true DJ and alpha male this wouldn't have happened, she'd still be begging you to lather your balls with her tongue. You better go read the Book of Pook again and pay more attention this time. Check out The Rationale Male".

I'm sure he's bright enough to learn his own lessons from it. I think it's okay to invest in a woman, but you always need to keep a part of yourself held back. You always need to be open to the possibility of something like this happening and be prepared for it.

Actually I’d say that dumpings occur from a lack of beta traits, not a surplus of them. When a girl feels unappreciated, undervalued, or disregarded, she is likely to look elsewhere. So while not being alpha enough might be true in some cases, it is not true in most cases.

What you are doing in your position is passing the buck and pointing outward, instead of looking inward to redress the issues that led to his being blindsided.

The issues that led to her loss of interest were cumulative and by being oblivious to the operating context will only lead OP down this road again.

I, for example, have never been dumped. Nor have I preemptively dumped before getting dumped. The difference lies in my awareness of the operating sub-context and how I respond or choose to re-ignite when I see things are bit off.

You cannot control her but you can control yourself and how you elect to respond to dynamics within your awareness. Being blindsided with a dump means one isn’t clued in to her cumulative withdrawals and those withdrawals can and should be dealt with if they were only in his awareness to begin with.

 

[guru1000]

@guru1000 you do love your non falsifiable tautologies I'll give you that

Opinions not based on evidence hold no value. I share my reality and will reiterate that for reference of the speaker. Foolish are you to ignore counter-evidence.

 

[Chi Town]

Any girl who is head over heels for you would forgive and forget even if you did much worse.

This is it.....

 

[soulforge]

The only things I noticed that seemed off was this..

Instead of fuking 3-4 times a weekend.. it went down to twice.. and this happened in the 2nd year of dating, and to be honest it was mostly because of ME..

She just wasn't turning me on, as much as she used to do!

The texting was still the same.. she still made an effort to come over to see me.

Only in the last week before the break up, did I notice a change in her.

However a couple of weeks ago, she told me she was scared of getting too emotionally involved with me due to her EX messing her up... This guy left her, for another woman. (Alpha Widow)

She also mentioned that she is going through the change, and her emotions are abit all over the place.

I myself had serious doubts about the relationship, as we couldn't be together till her kids grown. I should have just checked out of the relationship.

I'm just glad its over.. And I didn't waster another 2-3 years of my life!

 

[guru1000]

However a couple of weeks ago, she told me she was scared of getting too emotionally involved with me due to her EX messing her up... This guy left her, for another woman. (Alpha Widow)

I was not there to look at the details which led to the quoted point but this would be a deal breaker to me simply because she placed another above me in terms of her emotional investment. That’s an ultimate form of disrespect to our relation, and I likely would have ended it right there out of the felt insult.

I don’t believe she was looking for reassurance there, but rather a willingness to share such an insult to potentially drive you away. Here is where she already checked out, IMO, especially your treating it as if It were unsaid and not dealing with her accordingly.

Looking deeper though, I would be more interested in the dynamics which got her to that point.

 

[soulforge]

I was not there to look at the details which led to the quoted point but this would be a deal breaker to me simply because she placed another above me in terms of her emotional investment. That’s an ultimate form of disrespect to our relation, and I likely would have ended it right there out of the felt insult.

I don’t believe she was looking for reassurance there, but rather a willingness to share such an insult to potentially drive you away. Here is where she already checked out, IMO, especially treating it as if It were unsaid.

Looking deeper though, I would be more interested in the dynamics which got her to that point.

Why did she tell me? She was quite drunk and she is a fukin dumb ass!

She even mentioned her ex still had some control over her.. I wasn't impressed.. The next morning she kept assuring me, that I don't need to worry about her EX. She apologised like crazy!

I didn't need the assurance, as the reality kicked in that I am dealing with damaged goods.

This is a typical case of a woman with baggage.. Your typical alpha widow.

I should have just dropped her Ass there and then.. I was seriously thinking about dropping her, but she just beat me to it.

I'm not investing in a girl, who is still under the spell of her ex... never contacting this hoe again!

Got a few hotties lined up for the weekend.

 

[lamath]

However a couple of weeks ago, she told me she was scared of getting too emotionally involved with me due to her EX messing her up... This guy left her, for another woman. (Alpha Widow)

@flowtheory i think your gf told you the same thing read this thread

I was not there to look at the details which led to the quoted point but this would be a deal breaker to me simply because she placed another above me in terms of her emotional investment. That’s an ultimate form of disrespect to our relation, and I likely would have ended it right there out of the felt insult.

I don’t believe she was looking for reassurance there, but rather a willingness to share such an insult to potentially drive you away. Here is where she already checked out, IMO, especially your treating it as if It were unsaid and not dealing with her accordingly.

Looking deeper though, I would be more interested in the dynamics which got her to that point.

The too scared of getting too emotionally involved sound a big load of BS

I can see alot more going on than just a disrespect when a woman says things like that.
It seems to me like a warning of things to come, it sound like she is giving him an excuse for the break up thats gonna happen soon.