Girlfriend is awesome but no sex til marriage!

[mrcloudsurfer]

Hey guys, just trying to get some advice here. I've never had a problem dating hot girls and having lots of amazing sex, but I have definitely had a problem dating hot girls who were also marriage material. Now I have found a gorgeous and amazingly sweet girl, but she is super religious and says she wants to wait till marriage to have sex (she's had several boyfriends and I do find it hard to believe that her being so hot she's still a virgin.. But this is what she tells me). Because I do genuinely love her, I'm not interested in convincing her to have sex with me being that it's important to her not to.. But at the same time I'm starting to struggle big time. My eyes are wandering and for the first time in my life I can understand why some guys cheat! I've been used to having sex for a lot of years and suddenly absolutely nothing. I'm so conflicted.. I love her but she is not meeting a very significant need that I have and it's driving me nuts. I've been with her about 3 months (but have known her for 6) and now I'm finding that I'm not as excited to be with her and am getting bored. In the past sex always went a long ways even if everything else in the relationship sucked, and now I'm experiencing the exact opposite... A great girl, but she is starting to feel more like a friend. I'm in my 30's and she's in her early 20's.. So it's not like I'm a spring chicken and I do feel lucky to have such a beautiful inside and out young woman that loves me dearly.. But man o man it's getting tough!

 

[wifehunter]

Hey guys, just trying to get some advice here. I've never had a problem dating hot girls and having lots of amazing sex, but I have definitely had a problem dating hot girls who were also marriage material. Now I have found a gorgeous and amazingly sweet girl, but she is super religious and says she wants to wait till marriage to have sex (she's had several boyfriends and I do find it hard to believe that her being so hot she's still a virgin.. But this is what she tells me). Because I do genuinely love her, I'm not interested in convincing her to have sex with me being that it's important to her not to.. But at the same time I'm starting to struggle big time. My eyes are wandering and for the first time in my life I can understand why some guys cheat! I've been used to having sex for a lot of years and suddenly absolutely nothing. I'm so conflicted.. I love her but she is not meeting a very significant need that I have and it's driving me nuts. I've been with her about 3 months (but have known her for 6) and now I'm finding that I'm not as excited to be with her and am getting bored. In the past sex always went a long ways even if everything else in the relationship sucked, and now I'm experiencing the exact opposite... A great girl, but she is starting to feel more like a friend. I'm in my 30's and she's in her early 20's.. So it's not like I'm a spring chicken and I do feel lucky to have such a beautiful inside and out young woman that loves me dearly.. But man o man it's getting tough!

Do you have any other things going on besides her?

 

[Yewki]

You allowed a girl to completely destroy your frame, all because she was "gorgeous"

Agreeing to an exclusive relationship without ever having sex was a terrible mistake.

Stop thinking with your d*ck. She's going to lure you into marriage using sex, and when you get married trust me the sex will not have been worth it.

You need to reclaim your balls. And if she won't give them back you can't be afraid to walk. Tell her you need a break, time to think, whatever. Downgrade the relationship back to casual, then go pursue other options. Maybe she'll come around, maybe not. The point is you'll be better off.

 

[wifehunter]

We don't know her, or the nature of your relationship, but odds are deesades right...

The only way I would wait for sex/marriage, is if she was in the hospital.

Remember, all you really need for marriage is a lifelong commitment and consummation.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Being enjoyable to fvck and being pretty are two different things. Why would you buy a car that you never test drove? Honestly, the most beautiful girls I have been with were the worst in bed. Maybe she knows she is, and that's what she is trying to hide.

 

[Glumix]

Quote from one of @deesade link:

The ideal situation is for her genuine passion to be so uncontrollable for you that she’d renounce her religion and throw her convictions to the wind to be with you.

The real question, as always, is WHAT DO YOU WANT? If a woman does not give you that then NEXT her because you already lost your frame because you are asking. You cannot ask or beg for sex. And you are also losing your time.

If you want a GF who gives you sex then do not go for the nuns.

Your passion for her beauty is already making you forgetting your value and frame.

 

[Aryan Prince]

She's either lying or she's friggid, you right about guys cheating its one of the many.reasons guys cheat. I'd go ghost on her for a.while, then when she asks.why, u.just say sex is important to you(which it is, and.u.shudnt.feel ashamed.of.it)... Talk to.her preferably.face.to face, if.she.cant handle it, time to say goodbye, if shes older then 19 and still a.virgin(although she's gorgous) its time for.her to grow up... Id leave.her.for the beta white nights who will bend.ovr backwards to.impress her!

 

[Maximus Rex]

How old are you?

I find hella funny that want to marry a chick you didn't know at the end of last summer. In love? You're in love with the idea of ravaging that p*ssy.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Sex before marriage is a horrible idea in practice. My dad was really religious and he told me that's a horrible idea to abide by.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

How old are you?

I find hella funny that want to marry a chick you didn't know at the end of last summer. In love? You're in love with the idea of ravaging that p*ssy.

He's actually in love with the idea of an old life-style. He's chasing unicorns, and the unicorn is going to stab that corn in his heart.

EJECT, bro.

Why? Go and read TheRationalMale, por favor.

 

[CMNILS87]

Hey guys, just trying to get some advice here. I've never had a problem dating hot girls and having lots of amazing sex, but I have definitely had a problem dating hot girls who were also marriage material. Now I have found a gorgeous and amazingly sweet girl, but she is super religious and says she wants to wait till marriage to have sex (she's had several boyfriends and I do find it hard to believe that her being so hot she's still a virgin.. But this is what she tells me). Because I do genuinely love her, I'm not interested in convincing her to have sex with me being that it's important to her not to.. But at the same time I'm starting to struggle big time. My eyes are wandering and for the first time in my life I can understand why some guys cheat! I've been used to having sex for a lot of years and suddenly absolutely nothing. I'm so conflicted.. I love her but she is not meeting a very significant need that I have and it's driving me nuts. I've been with her about 3 months (but have known her for 6) and now I'm finding that I'm not as excited to be with her and am getting bored. In the past sex always went a long ways even if everything else in the relationship sucked, and now I'm experiencing the exact opposite... A great girl, but she is starting to feel more like a friend. I'm in my 30's and she's in her early 20's.. So it's not like I'm a spring chicken and I do feel lucky to have such a beautiful inside and out young woman that loves me dearly.. But man o man it's getting tough!

Mr. Surfer i feel your pain. I was in your shoes last summer with this same issue and its what brought me to SoSuave and start asking questions about women. You already resent her, i know it and you know it because deep down you're not getting sex and you want it so bad. The same thing happened to me....I dated a HB 8.5 for 6 months of torture and no sex. She was raised super religious and kept telling me she might warm up to the idea of a blow job and sex in time. It wasn't worth the wait. There was bouts of rage and anger that came up and i yelled and complained and carried on like a super beta chump. It all lead back to not getting sex because she wanted to wait. Spare yourself any more torture and tell her you want to go back to casual dating. You should have told her that you have sex while dating and there is no negotiation. This girl is a prude and has been brainwashed by the church away from her carnal instincts of sex and reproduction. No amount of Seduction will ever work because you trying and begging is making her the prize and she knows it. Girls like this are the biggest Misogynists known to the world. She'll praise herself for being a virgin and chaste, but any other girl that has sex including close friends she will despise and call them sluts behind their back. She literally...... sees men as a means to an end for a white wedding day, a house, and 2.5 kids. Everything the church has told her to do with her life

Eject Eject Eject Eject

 

[zinc4]

If she's really a virgin and u are looking to get married then wait and just jerk off. It's worth it. These guys bashing you for finding possibly something very rare are ignorant. Virgins are the ONLY women worth even considering for marriage. After that they are all damaged goods.

If she's lying then next her ass. How can u find out the truth? Trust your gut. Besides the religious vow of no sex before marriage is she submissive in all other areas. Women who hold these views no sex before marriage do exist.

What's the dynamics of your relationship? What does your gut say? Do you really want to be married in the first place? All of these factors matter a lot.

I'm not huge on the idea of marriage.... But if when I ever do again, it will be with a virgin for sure who is religious minded. Anyone who hates on that can keep all the used up sluts they want.

 

[BeExcellent]

Don't dump her just yet!! I'm shaking my head over here about all these responses. Hopefully @Colossus can stop in and give his perspective....he has a walked where you now tread.

The hypocrisy on this forum can be at times remarkable. Men cry and whine that there are no quality women, and go on about how if you are going to marry at all you should hold out for a low mileage woman, preferably a virgin and yet, when this OP comes along with exactly what the forum thinks is the holy grail, then the consensus is "dump her, she won't give up the sex!" And "she will suck at sex, she isn't sexual"

Ignore these opinions.

You have had the good fortune to find "good stock", a chaste woman with beauty and morals who happens to understand her value very well. And she loves you & you love her.

Everybody else is jealous and in disbelief.

You need to decide what you want here. That is a serious decision and one you must make. Is sexual activity more important or is your relationship with her more important? If you choose sex & dump her how will it feel to know you lost her to someone else for life?

If you are an experienced lover you may be presented with someone you can explore and teach sexually, someone who will not have pulled apart sex and love, someone who has the potential to be sexually devoted to you, someone who has never been hurt or jaded in that way. Few few women can offer you this potential.

Now you still must lead the marriage if that is what you decide to do, you still are the man in the relationship...but if she has been raised to expect and respect a man's leadership you may want to carefully consider this. You may have hold of the potential for something amazing in your life.

There are always risks. Divorce is a high % in society but it isn't 100%. This is a woman who may offer you an opportunity you may not find again.

You can always speak frankly and openly about where you are and what you are wrestling with as you converse with her and as your relationship progresses. You already are struggling with it. You realize what you have (and what you may lose). I don't see you having her on a pedestal so much as I see you have found something most men would love to have, and you know that...but it wasn't something you expected and it has caught you somewhat off guard.

Sometime life gives you watermark choices. Perhaps this is one of yours. PM Colossus. Ask him for advice. It might be useful to you.

Cheers!

 

[Bible_Belt]

If she's really a virgin and u are looking to get married then wait and just jerk off. It's worth it.

So this site is loveshack now? Pvssy deserves to be on a pedestal if no one else has fvcked it? What a fvcking joke. Welcome to sosuave, where we teach men to not let a vagina control their lives, UNLESS it is a virgin vagina, then you belong on your knees worshiping it.

 

[CMNILS87]

Don't dump her just yet!! I'm shaking my head over here about all these responses. Hopefully @Colossus can stop in and give his perspective....he has a walked where you now tread.

The hypocrisy on this forum can be at times remarkable. Men cry and whine that there are no quality women, and go on about how if you are going to marry at all you should hold out for a low mileage woman, preferably a virgin and yet, when this OP comes along with exactly what the forum thinks is the holy grail, then the consensus is "dump her, she won't give up the sex!" And "she will suck at sex, she isn't sexual"

Ignore these opinions.

You have had the good fortune to find "good stock", a chaste woman with beauty and morals who happens to understand her value very well. And she loves you & you love her.

Everybody else is jealous and in disbelief.

You need to decide what you want here. That is a serious decision and one you must make. Is sexual activity more important or is your relationship with her more important? If you choose sex & dump her how will it feel to know you lost her to someone else for life?

If you are an experienced lover you may be presented with someone you can explore and teach sexually, someone who will not have pulled apart sex and love, someone who has the potential to be sexually devoted to you, someone who has never been hurt or jaded in that way. Few few women can offer you this potential.

Now you still must lead the marriage if that is what you decide to do, you still are the man in the relationship...but if she has been raised to expect and respect a man's leadership you may want to carefully consider this. You may have hold of the potential for something amazing in your life.

There are always risks. Divorce is a high % in society but it isn't 100%. This is a woman who may offer you an opportunity you may not find again.

You can always speak frankly and openly about where you are and what you are wrestling with as you converse with her and as your relationship progresses. You already are struggling with it. You realize what you have (and what you may lose). I don't see you having her on a pedestal so much as I see you have found something most men would love to have, and you know that...but it wasn't something you expected and it has caught you somewhat off guard.

Sometime life gives you watermark choices. Perhaps this is one of yours. PM Colossus. Ask him for advice. It might be useful to you.

Cheers!

I've dated a 3 or 4 virgins during my mid 20's before i started reading this site. It explained everything. I don't know about these men talking about wanting virgins and what not. Low partner count sure and willing to be submissive. Once you start having sex as a man, you cant just remain celibate because a girl tells you no sex. The problem here is he wants sex and she doesnt yet. he's sacrificing himself for her and gains nothing in return. Sorry to be cynical, but it really is a dog eat dog and you scratch me ill scratch your back world.

 

[fastlife]

I think a lot of guys nailed it. You've lost frame. But I don't think you have to 'break up' with her--yet. You're still looking at things from a binary--either or, black/white--frame. Honestly, you shouldn't've agreed to be exclusive in the first place--and it'll be a lot harder to downgrade the relationship than it would've been to establish healthy parameters and expectations in the first place. But if she's flexible, empathetic, and views you as high value (even though you surrendered your sexual strategy to her hook, line & sinker), which are all non-negotiables IMO for any sort of girl I entertain for a relationship, then just tell her you respect her morals, that you value her time and want her to be a part of your life, but that you have things you have to do for you and needs you have to take care of for yourself and that you'll be happy to become exclusive once you've both decided you're ready to marry and have a set-date within the next [however long you'll be content to go without sex]..

She won't like it at this point. But most* girls, even if they hate the idea of you sleeping with other girls, really don't mind if you set those expectations properly upfront--as long as they feel confident that they're your #1, they really don't need to be your only one, especially if they know you'll be discreet. Know you might lose her; but if she can't get on board with that, then there'll be other issues she'll be unwilling to compromise on later.

 

[Colossus]

Mrcloudsurfer,

I have some input you my find helpful. I married a virgin. Like you, I was in my early 30's and she was in her mid 20's. I had already had tons of sex and was used to getting it "on tap" in a relationship.

The first thing I'll throw out there is you should go with your gut feeling on whether or not you think this girl is truly a virgin. She probably is, but you know her, not us. I also had doubts when my wife told me she was. I just found it improbable. But---as time went on, it was evident to me. It wasn't my first rodeo and I'd been with dozens of women. There was something distinctly different about her---she was unspoiled from just about every perspective.

There was a religious component to her virginity but it wasn't the driving factor. We ultimately had sex before we married. It wasn't my plan, per se, but she really wanted it and who was I to say no? Honestly though, I didn't take it lightly. I kind of figured if I break it, I buy it. I didn't NEED to get laid that bad. Sure I wanted it, but I was mentally prepared to wait until marriage if it was that important to her. That's the value I saw in her. Not JUST the virginity thing. That should indeed be held in very high regard. I think the reasons are obvious. But the big picture of who she was, her looks, her background, our beliefs, personalities, etc....to me I could wait. My d!ck wouldnt fall off if I didnt have sex for a year or two. Luckily, I didnt have to wait that long. But never ONCE did I ever get the feeling or impression I was being "made" to wait. If I did, I would have walked.

@BeExcellent is right---there is a degree of hypocrisy on these forums. There is not a single guy here who would pick a non-virgin over a virgin in the long run (all else being equal), yet when someone DOES talk about a female virgin everyone is just incredulous to the point of being insulting. You should weigh all of our advice against what you actually know about her.

The thing guys dont seem to get about a virgin is that it really isnt about the pvssy. I suppose it is in a symbolic sense, but the real value is in her emotional purity and ability to be sexually and emotionally devoted to you. That's what you want, right? That's what any guy wants. Guys will say "oh, you can get that with any other low-mileage girl if you game her right, fvck her right, etc." Not to the same degree, sorry. A virgin is a blank slate. Wouldn't you rather be the first one to write on it?

There are a few caveats about an ostensible virgin; e.g.--you should not move forward if:

1. You dont feel she is the girl for you in some other way(s)
2. You feel you are being "made" to wait---as in a power play on her part
3. You do not want the inevitable responsibility that comes with taking a girl's virginity. More likely than not she will become attached strongly to you.

If none of these apply to you, AND you have a good gut feeling about her virginity, then I think you have a very unique opportunity on your hands that will not come around again.

And if you just cant get over the no-sex thing, then she may not be the one for you. It's only temporary after all.

 

[Trump]

I do genuinely love her, I'm not interested in convincing her to have sex with me being that it's important to her not to..

I'm in my 30's and she's in her early 20's.. So it's not like I'm a spring chicken and I do feel lucky to have such a beautiful inside and out young woman that loves me dearly.. But man o man it's getting tough!

You are in your 30s and are genuinely in love with a 20 something year old girl who has told you she has dated 6'3 hockey players and 6'4 black basketball players and rich actors but has not had sex with them.

She has told you she will not have sex you either unless you make it legal and sign a piece of paper that entitles her to half your assets in case she gets a boyfriend and wants a divorce.

She told you she has rejected the advances of handsome tall athletes and movie stars, but will consider sex with you? Are you kidding bro?

Got to be a joke thread.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Seems like the key component to OP's situation is he needs to verify if she's an actual virgin or not. Colossus gave some good examples of how to figure this out. I'm thinking after 3 months, might not necessarily be long enough to find out.

If you can figure out whether or not she actually is one, then the next thing to determine is if she's making you wait.

 

[Aryan Prince]

Tell her to grow the f.uk up, seriously, i had a.pal whose nu grlfriend said in the first week she doesnt give head.... I told him str8 drop her like a hot rock. Nearly all "girls" have dreams of the perfect wedding and.relationship.... Women on the other hand are a little bit more realistic..... Drop the girl and get a woman!!!