Girlfriend is awesome but no sex til marriage!

[zinc4]

Mrcloudsurfer,

I have some input you my find helpful. I married a virgin. Like you, I was in my early 30's and she was in her mid 20's. I had already had tons of sex and was used to getting it "on tap" in a relationship.

The first thing I'll throw out there is you should go with your gut feeling on whether or not you think this girl is truly a virgin. She probably is, but you know her, not us. I also had doubts when my wife told me she was. I just found it improbable. But---as time went on, it was evident to me. It wasn't my first rodeo and I'd been with dozens of women. There was something distinctly different about her---she was unspoiled from just about every perspective.

There was a religious component to her virginity but it wasn't the driving factor. We ultimately had sex before we married. It wasn't my plan, per se, but she really wanted it and who was I to say no? Honestly though, I didn't take it lightly. I kind of figured if I break it, I buy it. I didn't NEED to get laid that bad. Sure I wanted it, but I was mentally prepared to wait until marriage if it was that important to her. That's the value I saw in her. Not JUST the virginity thing. That should indeed be held in very high regard. I think the reasons are obvious. But the big picture of who she was, her looks, her background, our beliefs, personalities, etc....to me I could wait. My d!ck wouldnt fall off if I didnt have sex for a year or two. Luckily, I didnt have to wait that long. But never ONCE did I ever get the feeling or impression I was being "made" to wait. If I did, I would have walked.

@BeExcellent is right---there is a degree of hypocrisy on these forums. There is not a single guy here who would pick a non-virgin over a virgin in the long run (all else being equal), yet when someone DOES talk about a female virgin everyone is just incredulous to the point of being insulting. You should weigh all of our advice against what you actually know about her.

The thing guys dont seem to get about a virgin is that it really isnt about the pvssy. I suppose it is in a symbolic sense, but the real value is in her emotional purity and ability to be sexually and emotionally devoted to you. That's what you want, right? That's what any guy wants. Guys will say "oh, you can get that with any other low-mileage girl if you game her right, fvck her right, etc." Not to the same degree, sorry. A virgin is a blank slate. Wouldn't you rather be the first one to write on it?

There are a few caveats about an ostensible virgin; e.g.--you should not move forward if:

1. You dont feel she is the girl for you in some other way(s)
2. You feel you are being "made" to wait---as in a power play on her part
3. You do not want the inevitable responsibility that comes with taking a girl's virginity. More likely than not she will become attached strongly to you.

If none of these apply to you, AND you have a good gut feeling about her virginity, then I think you have a very unique opportunity on your hands that will not come around again.

And if you just cant get over the no-sex thing, then she may not be the one for you. It's only temporary after all.

Exactly.....these guys need to understand that there are in fact women who take their religious vows of remaining a virgin until marriage seriously and IMO it's highly respectable.

It's much much different than placing their ***** on a pedastel. It's about them having a higher belief and sticking to it.

Men are so mind ****ed in the US by this because there are almost zero such women left in the states. All you have is trashy jaded feminists with terrible attitudes and double standards that bang a new guy every few months or more.

 

[zinc4]

Tell her to grow the f.uk up, seriously, i had a.pal whose nu grlfriend said in the first week she doesnt give head.... I told him str8 drop her like a hot rock. Nearly all "girls" have dreams of the perfect wedding and.relationship.... Women on the other hand are a little bit more realistic..... Drop the girl and get a woman!!!

A woman like your typical feminist preaching it's a woman's right to be a fat scandalous slut???

Some of you guys kill me on this site. The onky women worthy of having anything of actual substance with remain virgins until marriage.... The rest are used up sluts meant to play around with only. That not pedastlizing.... It's a fact.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly.....these guys need to understand that there are in fact women who take their religious vows of remaining a virgin until marriage seriously and IMO it's highly respectable.

It's much much different than placing their ***** on a pedastel. It's about them having a higher belief and sticking to it.

Men are so mind ****ed in the US by this because there are almost zero such women left in the states. All you have is trashy jaded feminists with terrible attitudes and double standards that bang a new guy every few months or more.

A lot of these women do know they want to please her man as per the bible. So her body is his and she will learn and yearn to pleasure and submit to her man. But we are talking less than 1% of the population, possibly less than .5%...

Possibly you still are sexually incompatible, but I ran across one of these ladies my first wife, and she did pleasure her husband and submitted in a reasonable fashion. I could have sex when I want, and things that would be considered freaky she would try... She was very comfortable pleasing her man.

 

[Yewki]

Some of you guys kill me on this site. The onky women worthy of having anything of actual substance with remain virgins until marriage.... The rest are used up sluts meant to play around with only. That not pedastlizing.... It's a fact.

While I agree quality women tend to have less sexual partners, using sex as leverage for marriage is complete bullsh*t. If you really like the guy, then have s3x with him. Simple. You don't need a legal contract. What are they prostitutes? She'll have sex if you sign here and agree to split your wealth? Pathetic.

Most of the ones who hold out and play the religion card are simply using it manipulate men anyways. How many of the ones who say this actually go to church regularly? If their reason truly is religious though, then I will say... to me she's already an idiot. Not interested.

 

[zinc4]

While I agree quality women tend to have less sexual partners, using sex as leverage for marriage is complete bullsh*t. If you really like the guy, then have s3x with him. Simple. You don't need a legal contract. What are they prostitutes? She'll have sex if you sign here and agree to split your wealth? Pathetic.

Most of the ones who hold out and play the religion card are simply using it manipulate men anyways. How many of the ones who say this actually go to church regularly? If their reason truly is religious though, then I will say... to me she's already an idiot. Not interested.

There are ones that truly believe they would be a bad low quality woman by having sex before marriage, not simply using it to manipulate some guy. Msybe they are judt brainwashed....who knows, but ill take that over a used up ho any day for anything other thansex. You guys really need to get out of the western world some times.

It's different than some tinder skank claiming she's a non experienced good girl to manipulate a guy into a relationship and control him. Apples and oranges.

 

[BeExcellent]

The thing guys dont seem to get about a virgin is that it really isnt about the pvssy. I suppose it is in a symbolic sense, but the real value is in her emotional purity and ability to be sexually and emotionally devoted to you. That's what you want, right? That's what any guy wants.

This ^^ right here. That is where the value is found.

You are going from one extreme to the other. There's a spectrum between a woman that demands marriage before putting out, and a club slut banging multiple guys.

A virgin is a different animal than a woman who "won't put out" and who "demands" marriage. If that isn't what you value that is fine, but many guys value a virgin and it is about far more than sex as quoted above. I appreciate your perspective. What I see in many of these responses are reactionary things that are based in each individual's experience and much of that experience has been negative (they don't think a good woman exists etc. etc. so they run this one down.) Men come here after bad things happen in their relationships. But there are some happily married guys here too and the forum benefits from all the various viewpoints.

The OP knows this woman, none of us do; the OP has to decide what to do about the situation. His decision has a potential cost. He knows that or he would not have posed the question. The OP has to weigh what he wants based on his knowledge of her and the situation. He doesn't need to make a final decision today. I see the gist of the OP as asking "Is this worth it?" as well as "Why and under what circumstances?" I find that a reasonable thing to ask. He is going to have to filter the responses (mine included) and boil it down to the perspectives that resonate with him. All the rest is noise.

Men do get envious of relationships they perceive to be what they want, especially if they are in an unhappy situation. Every time my neighbors used to have a big crawfish boil for the husband's company get together in their immaculate home and gorgeous garden where the cooking and entertaining and cleaning and gardening was done by the wife the men would say amongst themselves "I wish my wife would do that"..."I wish my wife was more like so-and-so". Men notice and draw comparisons. My friend would relate to me how her husband would share this information with her. He was proud of her. Proud of her being a positive extension of him. A good devoted wife brings respect from other men to her man through her actions and behavior. A good wife knows this and does right by her man. It is rare however, granted. A virgin is the best place to start IF this is ultimately something a man wants.

 

[marmel75]

Bring up the topic of anal...suprisingly a lot of "virgins" have no issue with dudes pounding them up the ass...just as long as they keep that pvssy virgin they can still be in their fantasy world...

 

[Desdinova]

I'm in my 30's and she's in her early 20's.. So it's not like I'm a spring chicken and I do feel lucky to have such a beautiful inside and out young woman that loves me dearly..

You're in your 30s and she's in her early 20s.

I'm 38 and my GF is 22.

You're not getting laid.

I am.

You deserve better.

 

[Maximus Rex]

What I see in many of these responses are reactionary things that are based in each individual's experience and much of that experience has been negative.

What Rex sees if the typical emotionally driven "living life as you want it to be" as opposed to the "living life as it is," response.

The first thing that needs to be done is get confirmation that ole girl is indeed a vaginal virgin, so an appointment with the gynecologist needs to be scheduled.

After dude gets the results, if ole girl was truthful, he needs to decide if this is a situation he wishes to remain in.

If she's making demands like this now, what other demands will she be making in the future. Broads like this are the first ones who will want to keep their maiden names, refuse to cook, and give the kids hyphenated last names.

If it turns out she was lying about her virginity, then he needs to find out why before he drops her ass.

The OP knows this woman, none of us do; the OP has to decide what to do about the situation. His decision has a potential cost.
He knows that or he would not have posed the question.

OP has to weigh what he wants based on his knowledge of her and the situation.

You either haven't read this thread in its entirety or you have completely missed the part where dude said he's only known her for six months. With that being said, dude barely knows her well enough to be his girlfriend, let alone his wife and mother of his children.

 

[Yewki]

The first thing that needs to be done is get confirmation that ole girl is indeed a vaginal virgin, so an appointment with the gynecologist needs to be scheduled.

After dude gets the results.

No the first thing that needs to be done is the OP needs to grow a pair, act like a man, and actually do something about his exclusive, sexless relationship. Huge mistake on his part to even be in this situation. She either needs to put out or he needs to let her know the relationship isn't that serious and that he's open to other options. But he won't, because he's too afraid to lose his "gorgeous" princess. He has to lock her down, at all costs. Meanwhile he's daydreaming about banging other girls.

No need to prove she's a virgin. Going to a gynecologist to try to prove that would be pretty ridiculous anyways. Not to mention he wouldn't have the balls to try to get her to go.

 

[Jordski]

I beg a pardon, sir. But you sound like you're dating a hijab wearing girl that brought up in some bull**** asian culture about how taboo it is to have sex. I know.. Some of my friends are dealing with that, and is pathetic to see them paying some prostitutes just to get some. I see that you are 30, and you say that you've never had prob dating hot girls, Ok. So i assume you are aware of what to do as in for yourself. Like seriously youre holding back for 20yr o chick that you just know for like 6 months and youre like 30? Ok say love is blind.. Even if you can pull it out untill marriage, I can see a future divorce end up with one innocent child.

 

[CMNILS87]

The fact that he's on SS asking for opinions shows he's pissed off about his situation and not happy. He's already resentful about it. @Colossus made a very valid argument about waiting for the unicorn and a blank slate. But he's mad about the predicament and obviously a bit jaded after 6 months. Now his text shows that maybe he truly has deep feelings for her and doesn't want to piss her off and make her mad. That's why he hasn't brought it up. He's scared of losing her and that's the AFC in him crawling up from the well.

FLIP THIS SITUATION ON END
He cares for her and is waiting. Out of any of this. Do you think his GF really gives 2 ****s about his feelings and his wants????? If it's truly something she will not do till marriage then she is holding herself to a higher "moral" regardless of anyone else's feelings around her.


So why did she invest in a man that she knew would want sex before marriage if she wasn't going to give it to him? That's the ultimate question. Why did this goddess virgin ask exclusivity from a man that she knew was a sex hound?

 

[spiegel549]

100% Tell her either she gives it up or your dropping her azz. Seriously you say you are use to getting sex and dating hot women but you want to wait for this broad??? why!? A hot girl, who has had multiple boyfriends is not a Virgin. Stop being a sucker man! Connecting physically is such a HUGE part of a relationship and not being able to test drive the car before leasing it is insane!

 

[Reykhel]

She should have only been from the start......a plate...........maybe your "favorite plate" but
at least have another one or two that your spinning who are producing milk......

I wonder would she have gave up the nappy dug out if she knew you had other options from
the beginning.

The thing is, she's saying "no sex before marriage", but that doesn't mean that it's you whose marrying
her........or is that the decided plan?

Personally, I would let her think that we're still operating in her Frame, while subtly backing off her little by
little and start to see her less. In the meantime, I would go and explore other options......

You need to get back to what you should have been doing int the first place. Spinning plates.
Only you need to be Machiavellian about it now, if you want to have your cake and eat it...

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You are in your 30s and are genuinely in love with a 20 something year old girl who has told you she has dated 6'3 hockey players and 6'4 black basketball players and rich actors but has not had sex with them.

When did OP say she told him this? I didn't see that here.

 

[Trump]

Now I have found a gorgeous and amazingly sweet girl, but she is super religious and says she wants to wait till marriage to have sex (she's had several boyfriends and I do find it hard to believe that her being so hot she's still a virgin.. But this is what she tells me). Because I do genuinely love her

That's what she means when she tells him "I've had several boyfriends in the past but have not slept with any of them."

 

[Yewki]

^ So "several boyfriends in the past" means "6'3 hockey players and 6'4 black basketball players and rich actors"? Interesting spin there

 

[Vivacity]

Dump her OP.

Oh! do me a favor before you go, please pass on her number to me. I will marry her, even if I figure out afterwards she is not the greatest, but only average at sex.

Instead of sexing her up, did you take her to any dance sessions in the town? Did she tap her feet to the beat? Is there a rhythm to her moves? If so, she should be great at sex too. Never mind, don't stress yourself so much to figure out if she would be good on bed or not. Dump her OP because your sexual pleasure are more important to you than her ideals.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I get that vaginal sex is out for her till marriage. What else is she actually willing and happy to do sexually with you, in the meantime?

 

[zinc4]

I really don't understand all the guys making the big deal out of the no sex thing.

Any and all women, at least to me, get boring after the first few weeks, if that long, when it comes to banging them.

Every relationship I've ever had, I found myself making excuses after the honey moon stage of the first few weeks not to have sex with them.

If you are going to get married, which would you prefer to have......a used up bimbo who you are bored of banging or a woman who has only slept with you that you are bored of banging???

In other words, when it comes to long term relationships, sex isn't even a big deal because you can guarantee no matter who it is, the sex will in fact get old. At that point, you want a quality woman with high character to be with not a reformed feminist slut.

Sounds like to me, the only people bashing OP are sexually inexperienced/deprived and place a very high value on banging the same piece of ass over and over.