Girlfriend interest level dropped

[DannyM]

Hey guys,

moved in with my gf a few months ago and everything seemed fine until she fell ill about a month ago...she has type 1 diabetes and i pretty much had to drop everyting to help her out, went to see her in hospital everyday, cooked for her, cleaned her room, paid for stuff argh!

Anyway i have been noticing that she acting distant lately...and two days ago she decided to go back to her mothers as she prefers the hospital at home lol.

shes been extremely hard to contact ever since..bad behaviour, says she is going to call and never does and i keep sending messages to which i get ****ty responses too.

Im wondering what to do in this situation? we usually talk on facebook and she does tell me she loves me but her actions are different to her words, I have deactivated my facebook account and going to go no contact for a few days...is this a bad idea? or should i be doing something else?

 

[jester1x]

I'd leave her alone for more than a few days. Her behavior towards you lately is probably due to her diabetes. Best to let her contact you but don't put her on the spot.

It sounds like you've been more than considerate to her. Worry about your own mental welfare for a change. If she truly values you then she'll be back in your life.

 

[Scars]

Her logical side says: Wow, this guy is great for taking care of me while I'm ill..

Her emotional side says: Wow, this guy is a pvssy for bending over backwards for me at any given moment, he's my slave, and my emotional tampon..

I say you ignore her for awhile and let her realize what she's missing.

-Scars

 

[ScottMustaine]

I think I will have to disagree with Scars on this one. Though he's more experienced... People DO tend to isolate themselves, don't want them to be seen in agony and depression.

I'll take myself for an example, I have been once diagnosed with kidney cancer. Oh the lovely moment. Few of my friends known this and I told them that not showing any signs of weakness.


I came home and I cried the hell out of myself in a room. Then didn't eat much, just drank water and played along with music, until they said " false alarm ". My mother insisted on checking me once again with a more modern equipment. They did after 4 days later.



Does that mean I thought of my friends that they were bending backwards , calling me on various activites they never did ? Nah, they wanted to cheer me up, but I decided not to go so I wouldn't let them see my suffering.

As the days passed by, I couldn't easily hide that and would drown in sea of depression.



So I guess your girl is depressed, don't push her.




Though, women are sometimes strange I wouldn't exclude what Scars said.


Good luck.

 

[BeDJ]

Im wondering what to do in this situation? we usually talk on facebook and she does tell me she loves me but her actions are different to her words, I have deactivated my facebook account and going to go no contact for a few days...is this a bad idea? or should i be doing something else?

Don't let her health validate her bad behavior. You were always available for her and acted on her every whim. You cared too much, she controls the relationship and can do whatever she wants. She is losing interest in you, if there is any left.

Don't contact her and be unavailable to talk to her. Don't reward her bad behavior, punish it by withdrawing your attention.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Agreed. You must disengage for a while, OP.

I might allow that the illness could be affecting her behavior, but this is the year 2012 and unfortunately her view of you changed for the worse when you catered to her. This is a prime example of the bankruptcy of morals and brains in women in this era. You did the nice, helpful thing, and now you are made to suffer for it.

She needs to be disciplined by you. Go NC for a period of time. Above all else, convey to her that you don't need her (NOT verbally, but through action). Make it crystal clear. Either she will end up begging for you to come back or else the inevitable will happen. If the relationship dissolves in this situation you can rest assured that the split was inevitable, and it is better sooner than later.

To drive the point home, as a man you must discipline her. The only discipline a woman can comprehend is removal of attention. Any other form of disciplne she can turn back on you.

 

[DannyM]

Any idea how much time is best to go NC for in my situation? thanks

 

[DannyM]

Double Post

 

[DannyM]

she just msged me with "you must of been busy today, haven't replied to my message" should i reply to this or make her wait?

 

[Xdenova]

Don't reply to her. Let her know what you're worth. At least a couple of days, and when you do come back say that you've been very busy. Don't say with what as you should leave some mystery.

When you said that she has been acting distant after you did all of the stuff you did for her...that was honestly 2nd class behavior from her part.

Good luck bro, some of the fellas here can give you some more solid advice if mines didn't help you.

peace!

 

[BeDJ]

Reply "yeah"

Don't reach out to her for a week.

If OP goes NC past 4 days, I will write an erotic fiction about 2 chosen posters on this board. Any takers? Post your wager.

 

[DannyM]

Ok day 1 of NC...i just posted a status on facebook! that said "you know your run is epic when you forget the way home" to which she replied on my wall 2 minutes later with "and your girlfriend all day"

the stupid nice guy in me wants to reply back but i won't...where do you think this will go if i leave this NC for 4 days??

Got a message from her on fb:

Thanks for not replying
Why are you ignoring me?
its awful
right seeing as though youre ignoring me completley and dont give one, im going for a bath. i feel so special. aha.
inabit

Later she says
lol thought id quickly check to see if youve bothered to reply, but no such luck. have a nice night babe. x
youre making me think youre gonna dump me
cos i can see that youve read what i put
so youre choosing to ignore me
makes me worry
if youre wanting to dump me for real this time, tell me , dont just ignore me
dan please
stop ignoring me really cant take it
right. ok. well ive said everything, and youre still ignoring me so right now im taking it as were not together or something. so if this is your way of dumping me, its a **** way
if you want to be with me youll answer me
wow
what the hell have i done to deserve you ignoring me

My buddy just contacted me to say she contacted him about me:-

[20:54:17] Yoann: [21:50:28] Rebecca : hi yoannn
[21:50:52] Rebecca : have you spoke to dan, i cant get a hold of him, he just wont reply to me, and im worried as im not with him in person
[21:50:55] Rebecca : is he ok?
[21:51:11] Yoann: Hey Bec
[21:51:25] Yoann: Nope, haven't heard from him, what's happening ?
[21:51:30] Rebecca : no idea
[21:51:34] Rebecca : he put a fb status
[21:51:45] Rebecca : and i have been trying to talk to him on chat
[21:51:54] Rebecca : and it says that hes read it but he is just not replying :/
[21:51:58] Rebecca : bit worried
[21:52:02] Yoann: mmm ok
[21:52:10] Yoann: well dunno, can't help you, sorry :/
[21:52:21] Rebecca : let me know if he gets in touch x

 

[DannyM]

you guys sure this needs 4 days? lol

 

[Fly By Night]

Haha, wow your girl crumbled underneath the littlest dose of NC. You can initiate contact again if you want to save the relationship, but in my opinion I think she wanted to dump you as soon as you noticed the IL dropping. She just waited until she got the opportunity to bring up breaking up as soon as you showed her low IL. Your NC brought out her real agenda.

I don't like how she responded to your NC, so I would just tell her that she is over-exaggerating and you guys needs separate time to cool down. (but that's just me)

lol thought id quickly check to see if youve bothered to reply, but no such luck. have a nice night babe. x
youre making me think youre gonna dump me
cos i can see that youve read what i put
so youre choosing to ignore me
makes me worry
if youre wanting to dump me for real this time, tell me , dont just ignore me
dan please
stop ignoring me really cant take it
right. ok. well ive said everything, and youre still ignoring me so right now im taking it as were not together or something. so if this is your way of dumping me, its a **** way
if you want to be with me youll answer me
wow
what the hell have i done to deserve you ignoring me

See how she tries to play the victim first, but then she starts insulting you by saying your dumping method is sh!t. Reading over it again, I kind of want you to dump her, but careful, dumping a girl while she is sick can mean trouble to your social circle. e.g. She got sick so you dumped her for "healthy" pu**y.

 

[BeDJ]

Get off Facebook, but don't deactivate, too late for that since she got the read receipts.

Text her "Saw your messages...running late to (dinner, gym, marathon, whatever) We'll talk later"

Don't cave in now, keep that hamster spinning. You are regaining frame in the relationship.

 

[DannyM]

Have around 7 missed calls from her in past hour now

 

[Trump]

- noticing that she acting distant lately
- shes been extremely hard to contact ever since..bad behaviour,
- says she is going to call and never does
- i keep sending messages to which i get ****ty responses too.

Ok day 1 of NC...i just posted a status on facebook! that said "you know your run is epic when you forget the way home" to which she replied on my wall 2 minutes later with "and your girlfriend all day"

The time she never called you and was extremely hard to contact...she could have been with another guy, tested him out, and dropped him.

Yes...it needs 4 days.

 

[Voice]

NC is good when trying to get over a girl.

In this case you are ignoring your sick girlfriend who probably feels like sh1t as it is. I don't understand the reasoning. You honestly think as sick as she is, she is going out trying to fvck other guys? Holy crap just tell her in a calm steady way that you don't appreciate the way she's been treating you and you need some time away for a few days. Not only will she respect you but she will probably understand. She's been through a lot and like Scott Mustaine said she's probably depressed.

 

[Fatal Jay]

Her logical side says: Wow, this guy is great for taking care of me while I'm ill..

Her emotional side says: Wow, this guy is a pvssy for bending over backwards for me at any given moment, he's my slave, and my emotional tampon..

I say you ignore her for awhile and let her realize what she's missing.

-Scars

dude nailed it

real talk as men we think we are being good boyfriends,but women see the **** at different angles

 

[DannyM]

dude nailed it

real talk as men we think we are being good boyfriends,but women see the **** at different angles

Very true, but what is the medium?