In order for a long distance and long lasting relationship (1 year) to last when a girl moves 100 miles away for college would involve her NOT getting piss drunk and knocking into walls and dancing with other guys and going to house parties, correcT? My g/f "jill" is doing this and i feel like i need a break because doing that isnt good.
Girlfriend in college
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Kineti[C]harm
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Sorry this just makes me laugh... No disrespect or anything but in my reality a long distance relationship does not exist... They cannot and will never exist.
Jvesti
Master Don Juan
Stop asking people to make your decisions, make them yourself.
Isn't this the same chick who manipulates and controls you?
I say drop her anyway.
Isn't this the same chick who manipulates and controls you?
I say drop her anyway.
The odds are she has already cheated on you. You need to at least date other girls. When the time is right, if you guys are meant to be together, then u will. But until then, I would just have fun with other cute girls, dont worry what she is doing. Worry about what YOU are doing.
LuvMyArmyMan
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well, if shes your girlfriend you should trust her
100 miles is NOT far, at all. like what, an hour and 45 minuets? I'm 500+ miles away from my bf. I still go to parties, get drunk, but the difference is i tell guys to f-off if they start touching me and dancing with me. I talked with my S.O. about this, and he said that he trusts me to do the right thing, and i trust him to do the right thing. He recently went to mexico for a weekend. i wasnt worried about him getting piss drunk and hooking up with/dancing with women because i know he wouldnt do that.
Talk to her about how you feel! Communication is a key element in a relationship! so is trust . if you cant trust her, then the relationship is already downhill. If shes the type of girl to still flirt and be in a relationship, then she's not ready for one!
ps. are you sure shes doing these things in college?
100 miles is NOT far, at all. like what, an hour and 45 minuets? I'm 500+ miles away from my bf. I still go to parties, get drunk, but the difference is i tell guys to f-off if they start touching me and dancing with me. I talked with my S.O. about this, and he said that he trusts me to do the right thing, and i trust him to do the right thing. He recently went to mexico for a weekend. i wasnt worried about him getting piss drunk and hooking up with/dancing with women because i know he wouldnt do that.
Talk to her about how you feel! Communication is a key element in a relationship! so is trust . if you cant trust her, then the relationship is already downhill. If shes the type of girl to still flirt and be in a relationship, then she's not ready for one!
ps. are you sure shes doing these things in college?
Kineti[C]harm
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Yes trust seems to be the issue....
I have a good female friend that every so often asks me out to parties for dancing etc... She has a BF and he KNOWS she goes out with ME to dance. The dancing we do is like the most dirty dancing you will find out in clubs I mean arms are everywhere and shell feel up my biceps, ass whatever all the time but other than dancing we do NOTHING! No kissing or whatever, she would never do that (as far as I can tell).
And he trusts her and by good reason because she is truely faithfull, she just enjoys a good dancesession and having fun.
So you have to decide, do you trust her or not?
I have a good female friend that every so often asks me out to parties for dancing etc... She has a BF and he KNOWS she goes out with ME to dance. The dancing we do is like the most dirty dancing you will find out in clubs I mean arms are everywhere and shell feel up my biceps, ass whatever all the time but other than dancing we do NOTHING! No kissing or whatever, she would never do that (as far as I can tell).
And he trusts her and by good reason because she is truely faithfull, she just enjoys a good dancesession and having fun.
So you have to decide, do you trust her or not?
DrSassyPants
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I've met several girls here at my college who have boyfriends back in their hometown. They all seem to keep faithful. They'll flirt but from what i've seen won't do anything to risk their relationship.
Sounds like someone is WAY to trusting. Look, if put in the situation it is a possibility EVERYBODY will cheat. It doesnt mean they love you any less, or are a bad person, it is just temptation and we are only human. Good girls, or good guys cheat. I would stop worrying about what your boyfriend or girlfriend is doing and all these TRUST issues. Worry about what YOU are doing and how much fun you are having, because ultimately your "loving" partner will look after number 1, themselves. You are so young still, why be in such a serious relationship right now?
If she starts to act cold towards you, calls you less and less, or just seems a little distant. Something is up, I guarantee it, so if this starts happening, time to get yourself out there and start dating new girls.
playasupreme
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She is a wh*re and doesn't respect you. She's been in a few gang-bangs by now I'm guessing.. Get rid of her.
You are way out of line and will ruin your relationship with that attitude.....
She's in college, its time for her to spend 4 years finding herself and growing as a person, it will either involve you, or it won't. You have no right to try to control her experiences becasue you are afraid she will grow apart from you....
The best thing you can do to encourage a healthy relationship is to support her and what she's trying to do, and live your own full happy life...Go to bars, parties, live the college experience...She'll relaize she has a guy will a full life that supports her the way she deserves...
She will probably change over the 4 years enough to want a break from you at some point...Be prepared, recognize that for both of you to work as a couple, you need to be able work as an adult couple after school, not just a fun HS relationship...its very different....
She's in college, its time for her to spend 4 years finding herself and growing as a person, it will either involve you, or it won't. You have no right to try to control her experiences becasue you are afraid she will grow apart from you....
The best thing you can do to encourage a healthy relationship is to support her and what she's trying to do, and live your own full happy life...Go to bars, parties, live the college experience...She'll relaize she has a guy will a full life that supports her the way she deserves...
She will probably change over the 4 years enough to want a break from you at some point...Be prepared, recognize that for both of you to work as a couple, you need to be able work as an adult couple after school, not just a fun HS relationship...its very different....
LuvMyArmyMan
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Excuse me, but you can NOT make assumptions like that. I would never ever in my life cheat, and i have been in numerous opportunites to. My boyfriend would never cheat on me. Its called respect . Yes, it will be tempting, but if you love your bf/gf, then it shouldnt even phase you. Yes, it is just temptation, but a person in their right mind would look at it as JUST temptation and NOT act on it.
And i completely agree with DankNuggs. You are way out of line, and so is everyone else that says she's already cheated. Listen, i know the sh1t that goes down at college parties. I go to Chico State for pete's sake! NONE of my friends here have cheated on their boyfriends back home. yea, a lot of crazy stuff goes down, but if youre in that kind of relationship, then cheating shouldnt even be an issue. Like i said, you lack trust . And for you to ASSUME that she's cheated just proves what a jealous little boyfriend you are. I mean, how do you know she's cheated? Were you both clean of STD's and she came home, you had sex and now you have an STD?
Its unlikely she has cheated. But like DankNuggs said, its a time for growth and change. Dont be surprised if you two break up. It isnt a petty little HS romance..
MetalFortress
Master Don Juan
GET OUT OF THERE
I can't believe you are still with her. DUMP HER ALREADY.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
THE MATRIX HAS YOU! GET OUT NOW! DON'T TRUST HER!
Your livin in la la land Luv. Your boyfriend has already probably cheated on you. I have known the best girls in the world, they are so moraly and ethically good. But when times go rough in their relationships and a guy comes along who she thinks is really nice and cute, she kisses him. I have seen this happen many many times, most of the times the other half never finds out. So, great for you, trust until your hearts content, but dont come running posting on these boards when you find out your boyfriend (current or future) has cheated on you!!
I disagree with Luvmy and the others who are concentrating on cheating and trust issues....It really isn't about that....
Question: What would be worse in your mind....
A.) You hear your gf got drunk, and randomly hooked up with some guy.
B.) Your gf secretly wishes she could date all these new guys at school because she is curoius about different expereinces....
While A. would suck, I think B is worse. From experience, B. will be fluttering through her mind for 4 years whether she wants it to or not.
By acting insecure and jealous, you are only affirming why option B is rolling around in her head, and will help her to act on it. Your best bet is to be aware of the situation....
Why aren't the same thoughts going through your head? You may love yoour relationship, but don't you think about the possiblitiy that someone better for you will come around? College is a very short, very unique opportunity to spend 4 years learning about yourself...
Question: What would be worse in your mind....
A.) You hear your gf got drunk, and randomly hooked up with some guy.
B.) Your gf secretly wishes she could date all these new guys at school because she is curoius about different expereinces....
While A. would suck, I think B is worse. From experience, B. will be fluttering through her mind for 4 years whether she wants it to or not.
By acting insecure and jealous, you are only affirming why option B is rolling around in her head, and will help her to act on it. Your best bet is to be aware of the situation....
Why aren't the same thoughts going through your head? You may love yoour relationship, but don't you think about the possiblitiy that someone better for you will come around? College is a very short, very unique opportunity to spend 4 years learning about yourself...
sAxyguy83
Senior Don Juan
And once again, the typical salvo of posts by people that have been burned in past relationships, and become so jaded that they no longer feel people are capable of doing the right thing. Either that, or they cheat on their SO's, and are trying to justify it by saying "Everybody else does, so why shouldn't I? She's probably cheating on me right now!" Such people will never be truly happy in a long-term relationship, because as so many people have noted, relationships are about trust, and apparently certain posters *cough*CLOONEY*cough* are no longer able to trust another person to the extent required by a truly close relationship.
hahaha, I can trust a girl. But its different. I look out for myself, as everyone does. I can still have a great relationship, I just dont let myself totally fall for a girl. Doesnt mean I have any less fun. Just means that ultimately I am looking after myself. I just face facts, EVERYONE if put in a situation to cheat with a girl they really like (while out of town, or while having troubles in their relationship), will most probably cheat. Girls do it too, especially all the chances they get to cheat, well at least that is the better looking girls, I am not talking about ugs here, and I am guessing Nans chick is no ug!
I have been involved with and known an absolute stunning amount of great looking gilrs, some of which have just been with a guy for a few months, others been with their boyfriends for a few years!! Let me tell you nearly ALL have cheated at one time. You would be surprised if you had seen what I have seen in my life when it comes to hot woman! NEVER trust them totally, just have fun with them. Once u are married THEN u can and should trust them!! Girlfriend and married are a completely different story!!
Clooney, not only are you being terribly disrespectful, but you're also wrong. I'm a good looking guy who gets hit on by woman regularly and I've never even considered cheating when I'm in a relationship. It's something I simply have no desire to do whatsoever. You're failing to recognize that there might be people with higher ethics than you apparently have. You have no idea what Luv's relationship is like with her boyfriend, and thus shouldn't make any assumptions.
