girlfriend grinded another guy

[nosmirk]

dancing, no kissing.

would you dump her?


to kdnash82:

i heard about it from a few totally reliable sources. there's no question that it actually happened.

she messaged me the next morning, and acted as though like the night was boring, and that a few guys came on to her and her friends, but she pushed them away. i take her word for it, but i find out later that she was actually grinding one of them.

the issue isnt that she tried to cover up, that doesnt bother me. what disturbs me is that she actually did it.

i have not talked to her directly since i found out about this. like 12 hours ago? (awesome night hahahah)

we're dating, and she understands that its exclusive. i have been been respectful of that all the while, which is why im very troubled by this.

granted, she thought i wasnt serious about her due to my past before i met her. the thing now is that, my head says dump her.. but i really dont know

 

[Create Reality]

i would put it in her dumper and send her back your way

 

[shop until I die!]

dancing, no kissing.

would you dump her?

you're a troll

 

[sexybeast]

No.

 

[(JJ)]

if it bothers you enough that you're posting a thread about it, it bothers you enough to dump her.

 

[Create Reality]

we are here to learn the ways of don juan people! not to do what was always done and get what was always got... you must change your ways and asking questions is the first step!

 

[kdnash82]

So because this guy asked a question that bothered him... he's a troll?? Hmmm...

Anyway, tell us more about the situation. Were you around when it happened? Did you see it with your eyes or was it something someone told you? Have you said anything to her about it, if so how did she respond? Are you two in a serious relationship?

I could go on and on with this, but it would be better if you just told us the entire story.

 

[sexybeast]

Yeah I agree it would be better for us to give advice if you give some detail. having said that I dont think you should dump a girl over this if everything else is going good.

Rule number xxxx Dont take ya girl to the club and expect players not to hit on ya girl. If ya game is tight, what do you have to worry/stress about?

 

[kdnash82]

Alright.... here's the deal... I have absolutely no problem with my girl going out with her friends and having a good time. as far as i'm concerned, if i'm not there, she can dance with every guy in the club, but only if it's in a tasteful manner.

people call "grinding" dancing. i think it's dry fuc*ing to be honest, but it's what people do. with that said, i don't care if she grinds as long as she respects herself and he respects her. in other words, don't be grabbing all over her azz and tits, and absolutely no kissing.

overall, i'm secure with my relationship. i know she isn't going anywhere and dancing is just dancing. no phone numbers are exchanged, no slob is swapped, and no fuc*ing is involved.

we have a very honest relationship. if she dances with someone she will tell me. she knows that i'm gonna do the same when i go out, but that's as far as it goes.

to sum it all up. i would honestly be upset that she wasn't honest with you. you asked her a question and she lied. the fact that you heard it through the grapevine makes it questionable though even if you believe that it's a reliable source. if i was to break up with my girl, it would be over honesty instead of grinding. my opinion

 

[nosmirk]

thanks dude, you're giving me a new perspective on this.

i understand that she would try to cover it up, and this leads to the point that she knows it was wrong.

and because of this i dont see myself overlooking that 'dancing is just dancing'. its not an insecurity issue; i had no worries over her going out with her girlfriends because i trusted her. and perhaps its the breaking of this trust that is such a disappointment.

what im thinking of doing now is let her come and explain herself. if she doesnt, i end this.

 

[Bvbidd]

That's why you don't have girlfriends. I mean sure you may say it will hurt your social proof not to, but girls usually find out who has hooked up with you and word will spread that way. Having a girlfriend puts all sorts of worries on you that isn't healthy. You can also promise yourself she will eventually cheat or dump you so it's unneeded pain in my opinion.

It's best to be free.

 

[Monster]

It's best to be free.

Yes

 

[Being_the_Don]

Alright.... here's the deal... I have absolutely no problem with my girl going out with her friends and having a good time. as far as i'm concerned, if i'm not there, she can dance with every guy in the club, but only if it's in a tasteful manner.

people call "grinding" dancing. i think it's dry fuc*ing to be honest, but it's what people do. with that said, i don't care if she grinds as long as she respects herself and he respects her. in other words, don't be grabbing all over her azz and tits, and absolutely no kissing.

overall, i'm secure with my relationship. i know she isn't going anywhere and dancing is just dancing. no phone numbers are exchanged, no slob is swapped, and no fuc*ing is involved.

we have a very honest relationship. if she dances with someone she will tell me. she knows that i'm gonna do the same when i go out, but that's as far as it goes.

to sum it all up. i would honestly be upset that she wasn't honest with you. you asked her a question and she lied. the fact that you heard it through the grapevine makes it questionable though even if you believe that it's a reliable source. if i was to break up with my girl, it would be over honesty instead of grinding. my opinion

But there's always the chance that they'd feel each other up. And most guys can't control the sexual reaction they have to a sexy bod rubbing up against them hence the woody. If a man and woman find each other attractive enough to grind then they find each other attractive enough to bang.

If your girl is seriously into you she wouldn't let another guy touch her in a way that could lead to something more. Even if you're secure in your relationship with a woman there's still the risk that she could do something that she'd later regret. Remember, women are emotional and wholly sexual creatures. The right music and the right moves and she just might really get into the guy she's grinding and then he could get into her. Best to remove those temptations by keeping respectable distance when dancing with people at clubs; no touching if you're in an LTR/exclusive.

 

[kdnash82]

But there's always the chance that they'd feel each other up. And most guys can't control the sexual reaction they have to a sexy bod rubbing up against them hence the woody. If a man and woman find each other attractive enough to grind then they find each other attractive enough to bang.

If your girl is seriously into you she wouldn't let another guy touch her in a way that could lead to something more. Even if you're secure in your relationship with a woman there's still the risk that she could do something that she'd later regret. Remember, women are emotional and wholly sexual creatures. The right music and the right moves and she just might really get into the guy she's grinding and then he could get into her. Best to remove those temptations by keeping respectable distance when dancing with people at clubs; no touching if you're in an LTR/exclusive.

Believe me when I say that I totally understand what you're saying. That's where trust comes into play. I have to trust that she wouldn't let things escalate. I have to trust that she wouldn't actually let some random start poking her in the butt through her clothes. I have to trust that things would never get to a level where she would bang him.

There is no relationship without trust. I'm not gonna sit here and worry about her getting in bed with some other dude. She's attractive so of course people are gonna talk to her. They're gonna wanna dance with her. I'm secure with myself. If she decides that she wants to run off, then that's her problem. I can always get another.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Why the hell would your women grind on another guy in the first place. Its disrespect to you! I don't know if I would dump her over it but, I would have a way different perspective on your girl. I'd tell her if she pulls that sh!t again she is dust!!!

 

[Moofahsa]

Dump that

If she won't be honest in that regard, then how can you trust her period

 

[comic_relief]

Why the hell would your women grind on another guy in the first place. Its disrespect to you! I don't know if I would dump her over it but, I would have a way different perspective on your girl. I'd tell her if she pulls that sh!t again she is dust!!!

exactly, I already had this discussion with my girlfriend a while ago.

My girlfriend understands that i find it disrespectful and that I won't do it while I am in a relationship either. I will not expect anything of her unless I am willing to do it

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126204

comic_relief

 

[backbreaker]

so let me get this straight... becuase I don't want to overract here.

you are considering dumping your GF for going to the club.. and (gasp)

DANCING?!!!!

First of all.. most women can't dance. they don't grind becuase they want to ****, they grind becuase that's all they know how to do. if you have a parrot and all he can say is "**** you buddy".. he probably doesn't mean it.. he just says it whenever het hinks it's appropiate which is all the time. Damn micky you need to learn new new phrases.

Mabye.. jus tmaybe.. she sees you for what you are acting.. like an immature little boy, and figured you couldn't handle her going otu and having a good time without acting like a chump. just my opinion.

dude.. if you want th goods.. you gotta execpt the terms. world's have been conquered, lives destoyed, riches given up, and made.. for the pursit of hot ass.

men will want your woman if she' shot. Take it as a compliment. she's yours. You can't hide a hot woman in a shell

When I take my GF out.. she will be hit on.. at least 3 times. One guy, at some point in the night, will get the balls to appraoch her with me there. Me being the DJ I am.. will not stop him. Actually.. I encourage him.. Then I have no problem telling him what he's doing wrong if he wants to know, and send him on his marry way. Or I let my babe do it. But do I get offended? God no. One of my Gf's pet peeves is that can't stand the fact that I dont' get jealous. Why? NOthing is better than seeing yourwoman being hit on in a club by every guy there.. taking her home and fvcking like rabbits all night long, k nowkng you just ook home the prize of the night

back to my GF. She has.. and admits it.. and I don't give a damn.. 2 guy "friends" (oneitis LJBF's) who will literarly do anything for her. they call her all the time and she likes them as friends but in her words "I don't think I have to tell you who I choose..do i?"

And women play on this.. women love knowing they have a real MAN at home.. and that real man ness will do more than any whining on earth will ever do. When your GF goes out with her friends, comes homes 2 hours early, hops in the bed and just starts giving you a mindnummin BJ becuase "she was thinking about you the whole night".. in a night club.. in the middle of San Diego.. youa re doing something right. and I wasn't even there. hell I was at home (Still) tryhing ot beat Metal Gear Solid 2..(man.. I just can't do it. this game has been out what now.. 4 ish years? Now it's getting personal. It's the princpal of the matter now. it's a damn game an dI"m human. a game isn't supposed to be this damn impossible. )
back to my point. Grow some balls man..

 

[KarmaSutra]

If she actually thought it was no big deal to grind on a guy then to her it very well may have been that it was same ol' same ol'.

However, if she went out of her way to disguise what she did that in itself leads to guilt and cannot be tolerated.

Find out the truth, not heresay, from your people. And I'll close with this question because it has not been asked yet:

Have you talked to her about this to her face? That should be the first thing you've done.

 

[Bible_Belt]

How old is the girl? If she is young, you are not going to keep her in a cage. If a 40 y/o housewife decides on a whim to go grinding at the club, then that would be suspicious, but this is just what young 20something girls do. Backbreaker is right - it is just dancing. Obviously you have the green light to go and do the same if you like. You say that you have been respectful of your commitment, but that means different things to women. Jealousy and neediness will make you lose the girl -they're unattractive. The whole 'my friends spy on you and report back to me' thing is not attractive either. No woman wants that.