Hi guys,
Previously I posted about how I was chasing a girl who had a "boyfriend" (They are on a break). Anyway the gist of what I was told was just be fun to be around, ignore the boyfriend nonsense, and escalate. Well long story short, that's how I played things out, and now I'm needing some advice on how to proceed:
COLES NOTES VERSION
*Girl has "boyfriend", but they have been on a 4 month break. During that time she and I have hung out a lot, doing a lot of one on one stuff. Lots of kino and flirting. I've made sure to do push-pull, making myself scarce at times.
*Last night, after having built up lots of sexual tension with her, I finally jumped her. She at first turned away, but then kissed me back. That went on for a bit til the whole "I can't do this" thing came out. I agree, pull away, turn on sports highlights, she leans in closer and we go back to kissing. Til "I can't do this" comes into play again. Repeat a few more times, with more kissing and me feeling her up. It sayed PG though, and I wasn't pressing for more at this point other than to amp up sexual tension. (Like they say, if she will cheat on him, she will cheat on you.)
*Sh*t hits the fan when her "boyfriend" finds out (long story, happened by chance). She says she isn't being fair to him. I say "We can't do this anymore then. I'd like to know where things go with us, but if you still want your ex and us being together causes all this drama, then maybe what we are doing is a mistake". That's it.
*My phone suddenly blows up with nonsense about how she put 3 years into that relationship, and she hasn't been giving it a fair chance lately. She says her boyfriend probably won't talk to her now, but she loved me kissing her, and would love to see where things go between us but timing is everything, blah blah blah.
Okay so my question is how do I handle this from here guys? Do I just continue on the previous path I was doing (just being a fun guy and nonchalant about the bf nonsense), even though I've basically been told she wants to still try things with her BF? Or do I basically re-affirm in an ultimatum that I'm not a fall-back plan, and if she wants to see me again she needs to ditch the ex? (My concern is that ultimatums usually come from the party who is in the weakest position, and tend not to work.) So far I've been silent, but I'll need to answer soon.
She is a cool chick, and I'd like to LTR her (that's why I haven't pushed for her to "cheat"). But I can't see the end-game for a situation like this, so could use some help. Regards -Hansol
Previously I posted about how I was chasing a girl who had a "boyfriend" (They are on a break). Anyway the gist of what I was told was just be fun to be around, ignore the boyfriend nonsense, and escalate. Well long story short, that's how I played things out, and now I'm needing some advice on how to proceed:
COLES NOTES VERSION
*Girl has "boyfriend", but they have been on a 4 month break. During that time she and I have hung out a lot, doing a lot of one on one stuff. Lots of kino and flirting. I've made sure to do push-pull, making myself scarce at times.
*Last night, after having built up lots of sexual tension with her, I finally jumped her. She at first turned away, but then kissed me back. That went on for a bit til the whole "I can't do this" thing came out. I agree, pull away, turn on sports highlights, she leans in closer and we go back to kissing. Til "I can't do this" comes into play again. Repeat a few more times, with more kissing and me feeling her up. It sayed PG though, and I wasn't pressing for more at this point other than to amp up sexual tension. (Like they say, if she will cheat on him, she will cheat on you.)
*Sh*t hits the fan when her "boyfriend" finds out (long story, happened by chance). She says she isn't being fair to him. I say "We can't do this anymore then. I'd like to know where things go with us, but if you still want your ex and us being together causes all this drama, then maybe what we are doing is a mistake". That's it.
*My phone suddenly blows up with nonsense about how she put 3 years into that relationship, and she hasn't been giving it a fair chance lately. She says her boyfriend probably won't talk to her now, but she loved me kissing her, and would love to see where things go between us but timing is everything, blah blah blah.
Okay so my question is how do I handle this from here guys? Do I just continue on the previous path I was doing (just being a fun guy and nonchalant about the bf nonsense), even though I've basically been told she wants to still try things with her BF? Or do I basically re-affirm in an ultimatum that I'm not a fall-back plan, and if she wants to see me again she needs to ditch the ex? (My concern is that ultimatums usually come from the party who is in the weakest position, and tend not to work.) So far I've been silent, but I'll need to answer soon.
She is a cool chick, and I'd like to LTR her (that's why I haven't pushed for her to "cheat"). But I can't see the end-game for a situation like this, so could use some help. Regards -Hansol
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