Girl who I used to be interested in e-mails me after many months

[alpha_ash]

Last year there was a girl that I liked. Unfortunately because of stupid mistakes on my part and the presence of a 3rd party on her end, who she was more interested in, I didn't get anything out of our meetings.

Now months and months later, she e-mails me saying that she would like to see me, misses me, and is visiting my area in a few months.

I ignored the initial e-mail and she sent more. I kept ignoring and she would write, "are you really not going to respond?" and "i miss you," etc. This added up to a total of 8 e-mails within a period of 1 week that I ignored. Then the e-mails stopped. I knew I wouldn't get anything out of it if I did respond because of history.

***** was trying to play mind games because she didn't like losing and wanted me to respond to her. I didn't. Self-control wins.

Story of my success. :cheer:

 

[Snarky]

What exactly is the success in this case?

 

[alpha_ash]

A few years ago, or even a few months ago I would have given in and responded to her e-mail. I was able to understand what this was all about. She must have been feeling down and wanted attention from someone she thought she could get it from. I didn't give in!

EDIT: Also, I'm far away from home right now and I wouldn't get anything out of it even if I responded. All I would get are more e-mails from her asking for attention and giving nothing back.

 

[floydb25]

Yea... never be used as an option. What most likely happened is, the guy(s) she REALLY wanted dumped her ass recently - and now she's looking for back-ups and rebounds. They aren't "sorry", and don't miss **** when they do this, and the timing is impeccable. It happens as soon as their other priorities fall through, and they're looking for support, comfort, void fillage, etc from their back-ups. F that.

Don't be used as a chump, because that's what they expect - and why they keep you around just "incase".

 

[Iceberg]

Yea... never be used as an option. What most likely happened is, the guy(s) she REALLY wanted dumped her ass recently - and now she's looking for back-ups and rebounds. They aren't "sorry", and don't miss **** when they do this, and the timing is impeccable. It happens as soon as their other priorities fall through, and they're looking for support, comfort, void fillage, etc from their back-ups. F that.

Don't be used as a chump, because that's what they expect - and why they keep you around just "incase".

Definitely don't be used as an option...

BUT

Can he use her as a f**k buddy for a night? He was attracted to her once...no point in turning down a attractive, willing and available woman, right?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Definitely don't be used as an option...

BUT

Can he use her as a f**k buddy for a night? He was attracted to her once...no point in turning down a attractive, willing and available woman, right?

Never be a back burner guy. 9 times out of 10 she's just looking for an ego boost after getting dumped by her new guy (the guy she blew you off for). She will disappear again the moment she realizes you're still interested in her.

I was in a situation like this back in my AFC days. Met a girl while in college, she stops returning my calls and emails and I find out she has a new boyfriend, 3 months later she emails me out of the blue after breaking up with her man. I foolishly took the bait and she disappeared again once I reciprocated.

 

[nismo-4]

^^^I cosign this!^^^

Success my ass. You're on the backburner aka an insurance policy for this girl just in case I decide not to take her to chambers again. Oh yeah, you're likely to be friendzoned and end up hearing the story of when I took her into chambers the first time.

The point is, spin more plates because this is an attention wh0re waiting for an ego boost. She not interested. Sorry. Move on. Unless you want her to know she has power over you still and you've got little options (beta sh*t) go right ahead and respond. You were dropped for a better man and said man dropped her sorry ass. That's my ruling.

Case closed.

 

[alpha_ash]

^^^I cosign this!^^^

Success my ass. You're on the backburner aka an insurance policy for this girl just in case I decide not to take her to chambers again. Oh yeah, you're likely to be friendzoned and end up hearing the story of when I took her into chambers the first time.

The point is, spin more plates because this is an attention wh0re waiting for an ego boost. She not interested. Sorry. Move on. Unless you want her to know she has power over you still and you've got little options (beta sh*t) go right ahead and respond. You were dropped for a better man and said man dropped her sorry ass. That's my ruling.

Case closed.

I think you misunderstood my point or maybe I wasn't clear enough. I'm not going to respond now or later. I nexted this one long long time ago. I know what she is about and I know that I made mistakes initially when I met her.

Also, I'm so far away that it wouldn't matter if I responded. I wouldn't get anything out of it anyway. Therefore, there is no reason to respond.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Did you guys even read his post? He said she hit him up, and he never responded. I'd say that's a sucesss.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You did the most clever thing OP, she wasnt missing you nor you had a chance to get her.

She just needed an ego fix and you sounded a possible sourche of it, a girl which ignores you and doesnt spread her legs to you in month is not gonna suddenly change her mind by simply not seeing you.
The probable outcome would have been you repliying to her and accepting to meet only for her to flake right after obtaining her ego boost....a text 10 min before meeting telling you that "something happened".

The only case it may happen is if you have a unbelievable change which boosts your score suddenly like becoming a famous actor or build yourself a top athlete body, all the other cases are a no go.

More or the less the conditions of the friend zone apply.

 

[user name]

Definitely don't be used as an option...

BUT

Can he use her as a f**k buddy for a night? He was attracted to her once...no point in turning down a attractive, willing and available woman, right?

^^^You ought to be ashamed of yourself. And you've been here since 2002. :trouble:

 

[LorenzoVonM]

Good job OP. When pvssy no longer has power over you, you become much more powerful.

 

[Cremasta]

It seems to me you had a couple of options here:

1. Contact the girl, meet up, make her buy you lunch and get laid (or kick her to the curb if she doesn't want to put out).
2. Ignore all contact, sit at your computer feeling vindicated.

I didn't read anything in there justifying why you would totally ignore her, she just seemed to like someone else more at the time.

Whatever makes you feel good I suppose, but there's no rule saying that when you respond to a girl you have to do it on her terms (letting her lead the conversation).
By totally ignoring her you gave yourself no opportunity to make her jump through your hoops this time. That would have been good reading.

 

[floydb25]

Never be a back burner guy. 9 times out of 10 she's just looking for an ego boost after getting dumped by her new guy (the guy she blew you off for). She will disappear again the moment she realizes you're still interested in her.

I was in a situation like this back in my AFC days. Met a girl while in college, she stops returning my calls and emails and I find out she has a new boyfriend, 3 months later she emails me out of the blue after breaking up with her man. I foolishly took the bait and she disappeared again once I reciprocated.

Same here. Except I went back AS I started dating others, and she wasn't fully secure in her new relationship yet. She kept me around and focused on her as she sabotaged all my other potential relationships. There's some serious selfish, conniving bishes out there. Was quite the fool for sympathizing and believing throughout. Manipulation can be hard to spot when you're unaware of what's going on.

Did this with a few girls, actually... all cut from the same mold.

 

[NewJack]

God, this has got to be the worst advice I've seen.

She's given you the biggest IOI a woman can give a man...

whatever.

 

[user name]

God, this has got to be the worst advice I've seen.

She's given you the biggest IOI a woman can give a man...

whatever.

Wow. 5 years on this site and still falling for that ****. :crackup:

 

[alpha_ash]

Received 9th e-mail today. All she wrote was my name in all caps: NAMEEE!!!

Ignored and deleted once again

 

[JoeMarron]

You have more self control than I do. Curiosity would've gotten the better of me and I would've responded. Probably with something like "t!ts or gtfo"...

 

[user name]

Received 9th e-mail today. All she wrote was my name in all caps: NAMEEE!!!

Ignored and deleted once again

good. let the bunny boiler in her truly come out....:kick:

this was how it was done when we were kids. before the taste of the forbidden fruit disempowered us.

 

[Doku]

If I was in your situation, I would find it humorous to send her a reply:

"Nude pictures."

And then don't respond until you get them. Maybe don't respond even if you get them.

Depends on the dynamic, though.