Girl wants to get to know me better before meeting

[Solomon]

I've noticed women will put this buffer up during covid, nothing wrong with a phone call but if a chick is not willing to meet within the first 7 days than she is just using you for attention, another thing I've noticed women doing is sending out nudes and dirty pics even without solitician sometimes they DTF but its mostly for attention

 

[bat soup]

She wants to know you better before getting to know you.

This is a bit like paying a hooker before she goes to the room with you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I say something similar but to further screen out these types, I just state it in my profile. "I don't want a pen pal. I'd prefer to meet sooner than later" or "Prefer to meet in real life because there is so much more you can get from that instead of just words on the screen"

It's pretty surprising how many girls are refreshed by this when they read it as they are always complaining that guys text too much without asking them out. I was initially surprised by that but I guess statistically, there are a lot of guys like that out there.

Yeah this is a huge thing with OLD now....guys don't want to meet. They will text for a month or two before trying to meet up. No idea why but by meeting quickly you will definitely stand out in a positive way.

 

[Lookatu]

Yeah this is a huge thing with OLD now....guys don't want to meet. They will text for a month or two before trying to meet up. No idea why but by meeting quickly you will definitely stand out in a positive way.

I know why because I do it sometimes. I know it is the opposite of what I just said but I do it because I only have limited time for dates. And when the number of girls that want to go out with me exceed the time I have, I don't suggest meeting right away or try to make small talk to string them along until I have free time to meet them.

This week I'm meeting with a different girl every night from Tuesday to Friday. Two are new and the other two are existing plates. I'm not trying to brag but OLD comes in waves for me. Nothing one week and everything the next. You just gotta roll with it the best you can.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I know why because I do it sometimes. I know it is the opposite of what I just said but I do it because I only have limited time for dates. And when the number of girls that want to go out with me exceed the time I have, I don't suggest meeting right away or try to make small talk to string them along until I have free time to meet them.

exactly, i was just gonna say that. If you got a few spinning its hard to schedule sometimes. I have 4 options for this weekend, not sure which one to choose. I'll pick one and invite her over friday night but then anything after that will have to be scheduled on the fly depending on how that one plays out. So i'll have to keep the others interested til i have time for them. I have a hard time spinning anything over 2 but like you said it comes in waves and they dry up fast too. Trying to get a mixture of FWB, local women for during the week and a few out of towners for weekends.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I know why because I do it sometimes. I know it is the opposite of what I just said but I do it because I only have limited time for dates. And when the number of girls that want to go out with me exceed the time I have, I don't suggest meeting right away or try to make small talk to string them along until I have free time to meet them.

This week I'm meeting with a different girl every night from Tuesday to Friday. Two are new and the other two are existing plates. I'm not trying to brag but OLD comes in waves for me. Nothing one week and everything the next. You just gotta roll with it the best you can.

Also another reason seems to be that the guys have gained a bunch of weight or are using old pics and know the woman won't go for it so they try and build up some "connection" prior in the hopes they overlook this. I have heard something similar from many different women where the guys message them for a long time and don't want to meet but then they do and he is like 50 lbs overweight and the pics are from 10 years ago.

Based on most dudes on OLD I would bet there are far more of these than guys who have 20 women lined up.

The truth is if you are a relatively decent looking, normal guy with his act together and is exciting and fun, your competition isn't very tough.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

Based on most dudes on OLD I would bet there are far more of these than guys who have 20 women lined up.

The truth is if you are a relatively decent looking, normal guy with his act together and is exciting and fun, your competition isn't very tough.

you make a good point

 

[rjc149]

If a girl online responds to your proposal to meet up with "I'd like to get to know you better here first" -- that means she's either not interested in you, or not on OLD to meet people (which is common).

Because what happens if you comply, and continue the online chat "getting to know each other better?" You are seeking to earn her approval before she'll give you permission to meet her. She has set the frame, and you are submitting and following her lead.

So basically, you're out. There's no real way around "I want to get to know you better first."

The best reply "I appreciate that, but I'm not interested in online relationships. If you change your mind, let me know, I think it would fun or at least interesting to meet up in person. Otherwise, good luck!"

Then next.

 

[Lookatu]

Also another reason seems to be that the guys have gained a bunch of weight or are using old pics and know the woman won't go for it so they try and build up some "connection" prior in the hopes they overlook this. I have heard something similar from many different women where the guys message them for a long time and don't want to meet but then they do and he is like 50 lbs overweight and the pics are from 10 years ago.

Based on most dudes on OLD I would bet there are far more of these than guys who have 20 women lined up.

The truth is if you are a relatively decent looking, normal guy with his act together and is exciting and fun, your competition isn't very tough.

Agree with that scenario too but I also find it works the other way around. Girls have also gotten fat and somehow thinking good conversations will make you somehow overlook their weight gain or age gain. I've had this happen to me when I first started dating again.

OLD is full of people that are disingenuous, don't look like their pics, tries to be someone they're not, has a fake online persona. All par for the course for us to weed out.

 

[Goksjrr]

Update(sort of):

So it's been a week now. Back then I answered her this: "haha ok I do have a Snapchat but I'm a bit lazy with that so I rarely use it.(gave my snap account). And I'm also pretty bad at texting because I prefer to meet in real life, but yeah I understand so let's just take it easy and chat."

She replied: "Thank you! And thanks for understanding, sounds good! " @Lookatu

Then she added me on Snapchat(she did follow me on Instagram before that) and sent me a selfie and asked how I was doing. So I sent her a selfie myself and we had a convo total of 3 snaps from each.

Next day I sent her a snap asking what she was up to and we had 2 snaps from each.

Day after that I sent her a casual atm snap to which she replied and we had 2 snaps from each.

Everytime she replied within 10 minutes.

So now it's been 4 days since we've chatted and that's because I have this thought in my head that she should initiate now and text me something because it's now been 2 days in a row that I've been the one starting the "convo" and that she would do it if she'd really be interested. @BackInTheGame78

Am I over analyzing the sh!t out of this or is it because she's already got my invitation for meeting in real life and she didn't accept it so now it should be her job to put some more effort for this to work? Because I think the same way as you guys that if a girl is interested she will make it clear. Although I do NOT agree that a girl wanting to get to know better before meeting is a synonym for an attention wh0re or disinterested, because some people do need to get comfortable, especially those shy or insecure ones nowadays when their social life and interaction is 99% online. @Glassguy

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...ell-do-anything-to-make-things-happen.237993/ Interesting points from our women as well.

 

[BadBoy89]

Hey,

A girl(21yo) that I've been chatting with for a few texts in Tinder asked if I have a Snapchat so that we could get to know eachother better before meeting. She said that she has never met anyone from Tinder and is super shy.

I think she is atleast 8/10 so I bet there's a lot of guys trying to meet her. She also searched me on Instagram and started following me without us even talking about it.

I don't want to become her text buddy because I don't care about it and because I'm bad at texting. How would you guys deal with this situation? Would you give her your Snapchat?

She’s so shy she went on www.Tinder.com, uplodaed hot pictures of herself so 6’1 guys could accept or swipe right.

Give her your Snapchat but push for the meet hard. Don’t let her get out from under it.

 

[Lookatu]

Ok so now you've chatted for a bit and she should be more comfortable. What's the delay now in getting her to meet you?

I'm afraid the more attention you feed her, that's going to be enough to keep her satisfied and she will never really want to meet you.

If she's not initiating chats with you or she won't accept your invite to meet, it's a sign of low interest and AW at best.

 

[Mazer]

What you are dealing with is a difficult woman who has no intentions of meeting up. She is looking for attention only. You are already off to a bad start because SHE wants to “interview” you to make sure you are worthy of her presence on an actual date. I personally would have ghosted because I have three other plates and don’t have time for phone interviews. If you choose not to go down this route then I would just offer a quick coffee date. I have had a lot of success with women who are actually shy by offering a quick coffee date, tell her to meet you for a cup of coffee, would like to get to know you in person. Most shy women feel more comfortable at a coffee shop, rather than a bar, it’s a quick interaction and you guys can part ways rather quickly if there is no connection.Good luck!