Girl tells me that she'll text me; should I call her or wait for her to text me?

[Kal]

it looks like we know what your problem is, and we're gonna fix it!

Oh, and what would my problem be?

 

[Igetit!]

then tell me what sorts of topics create attraction.

There aren't any "topics" that create attraction.

What creates attraction is you simply being a MAN with a girl.


Just like when you're attracted to a girl:You're not attracted to her because of any certain subject of conversation you two discussed. You were attracted to her because you liked the way she looked/was hot/had a pretty face or big boobs or a nice body.


The "RULES" of attraction are the same for BOTH sexes,it's just the way we're attracted to each other that's different.



To get attraction with a girl,flirt with her. Tease her,drop a neg or two on her. Show your interest in her boldly,DIRECTLY.

Ask her about her status,if she's taken or not. If she says she's single,then TELL HER you want to see her,and that YOU WANT her to hang out with you.


If she says she has a boyfriend,then be like,"Oh,you have a boyfriend? Well that's cool. Congradulations,I hope everything works out for you".

Then when she says "thank you",you go,"So umm...so like when can I see you?" Then watch how she reacts.


All of those things create attraction. You have to do these things (or something similiar to them) FIRST.


Only AFTER you've shown your interest in a way that attracted her you should go into the comfort stage of "where do you work?";"where do you live?";"what do you like to do for fun?" type of questions.


If you do the comfort stage first,you run a HIGH RISK of getting friendzoned.


The attraction HAS TO BE FIRST. It HAS TO BE. Because if you're not attracted to someone,does anything else really matter?



If you're not attracted to a girl,do you really care about what she likes to do for fun?

Do you really care where she went to school? Or what kind of music she likes? Or what her plans for the future are?


If you're not attracted to and want to date the girl,then what would be the purpose of you finding out all this information about her?


It's the same way for women. If a girl isn't attracted to you,then you talking about her hopes and dreams and her plans for the future WITHOUT ATTRACTION present will only get you friendzoned.


If you discuss these things AFTER attraction has been established between you two,it'll just increase the intial bond the attraction created.

yeah it was kind of long. However I set up a shorter date with this girl a week or 2 before (we could have only hung out for 2 hours or so) and she rejected the idea because it wasn't long enough and re-scheduled for a day she could have hung out longer. And besides that, what we did just took a lot of time. Went skating for 2 hours, walked around for a bit, grabbed dinner, and watched part of a hockey game. I don't disagree with you that it was too long, but she didn't want to leave.

The fact that she didn't want to leave doesn't matter,you should have cut it off anyway. That way she wouldn't be able to wait to see you the next time.

The emotional state she was in the last time you two were together will most likely be the same one you conjure up in her the next time you contact her,or that she "feels" about you after the date is over.


This is why you should have cut the date off when it was going good and after a decent amount of time.


If it was at a high point,at a place where as you said she didn't want to leave,then the very next time you called her to set up another date,the instant you start speaking to her,she emotionally will go back to that high point and thus,have a desire to get back to that "high".


If it was at a point of exhaustion from spending too much time together,then EMOTIONALLY,she start off there,which isn't good,not to mention the fact that you two ran out of things to talk about.

So the way you left things with her was her having her "fill" of you,(maybe too much),plus you two not having anything to talk about.


That's not a good emotional motivator to compel her to see you again.

Anyways I might have been too hasty to say this girl has lost all interest. I texted her yesterday to cancel for today and she said she wanted to do
something this week. I suggested dinner and movie at my place which there was no objections to. We just need to plan when and where to meet since she's never been to my place (and she doesn't know my part if the city).

Well this is good,but doesn't negate anything previously said.

It just gives you a second chance to add some things left out in your prior interactions.

 

[Kal0051]

Yeah I'm planning on adding things I left out (or didn't do enough of). Namely physical escalation.

 

[Tesl]

Anyways I might have been too hasty to say this girl has lost all interest. I texted her yesterday to cancel for today and she said she wanted to do
something this week. I suggested dinner and movie at my place which there was no objections to. We just need to plan when and where to meet since she's never been to my place (and she doesn't know my part if the city).

I had a feeling this would happen when reading through this thread. A lot of guys on this forum are way too fast to NEXT a girl. Although "I will call you" is often bad and is her way of brushing you off, it doesn't always mean that it is. What to do in these circumstances is to give time to see if she does call, and if she doesn't then to quick text like you did here.

There are a lot of positives here. She wanted to spend more time with you than just a couple of hours, she texted to say thanks afterwards (this is a big thing in my opinion), you kissed at the end of the night, and overall it seems you didn't pick up on too many negative vibes.

So we have some positives and some negatives, but that's fairly normal. Even if her interest in you is lower than it was originally, as long as she is still interested in spending more time with you then you have a chance to build that back up. Looking at your previous posts, my only suggestion would be to try and keep conversation playful and light hearted. You have the rest of time to learn about each others childhood, at this point you want her to have so much fun that she wishes she was around you all the time.

Good luck!

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

He should focus on HER having fun? Is this not supplication? I think this whole community is one giant paradox.

 

[lifeislearning]

He should focus on HER having fun? Is this not supplication? I think this whole community is one giant paradox.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Tesl, slow down there big boy. The focus on any date should be the fun that you are having and if there is any interest in the woman she will mirror your level of enjoyment. Very rarely do I ever spend time with a woman where I have fun and she does not. If that happens forget the chick.

The challenges on a date are to: 1. Have fun yourself! Relax, enjoy the conversation, embrace your personality, explore your surroundings, seek your own interests, get physical, and close confidently. 2. Share the fun experiences with her! Regardless of where you are or what you are doing, if you enjoy yourself, chances are good she will too. Think of a date as an adventure she is fortunate enough to have you lead her through.

I took a girl to a museum that few living creatures would find any interest in, and she was a member of that extensive list. I had such a fun time exploring that my attitude rubbed off on her and we had a great time. What is the point of a date where she is having a blast and you are bored? No pu**y is worth that. :nono:

Forty your doubt is just. Paradox averted. Lets be a little more careful with the advice we share *cough* Tesl *cough* :trouble:

 

[Tesl]

Forty your doubt is just. Paradox averted. Lets be a little more careful with the advice we share *cough* Tesl *cough* :trouble:

Heh, was suprised to see this. I don't think there is a paradox here, I'm not saying "make sure she has fun, at your own expense without having fun yourself". If you don't enjoy the date then she obviously wont either - I'm not denying this at all.

Sorry if my post was badly phrased - All I meant was that you don't want her to be bored and don't want to make the date seem like an interview. Have fun, both of you! Even if you want to talk about serious topics, there is no rush for this.