Kal said:
then tell me what sorts of topics create attraction.
There aren't any "topics" that create attraction.
What creates attraction is you simply being a MAN with a girl.
Just like when you're attracted to a girl:You're not attracted to her because of any certain subject of conversation you two discussed. You were attracted to her because you liked the way she looked/was hot/had a pretty face or big boobs or a nice body.
The
"RULES" of attraction are the same for BOTH sexes,it's just the
way we're attracted to each other that's different.
To get attraction with a girl,flirt with her. Tease her,drop a neg or two on her. Show your interest in her
boldly,DIRECTLY.
Ask her about her status,if she's taken or not. If she says she's single,then TELL HER you want to see her,and that YOU WANT her to hang out with you.
If she says she has a boyfriend,then be like,"Oh,you have a boyfriend? Well that's cool. Congradulations,I hope everything works out for you".
Then when she says "thank you",you go,"So umm...so like when can I see you?" Then watch how she reacts.
All of those things create attraction. You have to do these things (or something similiar to them) FIRST.
Only AFTER you've shown your interest in a way that attracted her you should go into the comfort stage of "where do you work?";"where do you live?";"what do you like to do for fun?" type of questions.
If you do the comfort stage first,you run a HIGH RISK of getting friendzoned.
The attraction HAS TO BE FIRST. It HAS TO BE. Because if you're not attracted to someone,does anything else really matter?
If you're not attracted to a girl,do you
really care about what she likes to do for fun?
Do you
really care where she went to school? Or what kind of music she likes? Or what her plans for the future are?
If you're not attracted to and want to date the girl,then what would be the purpose of you finding out all this information about her?
It's the same way for women. If a girl isn't attracted to you,then you talking about her hopes and dreams and her plans for the future WITHOUT ATTRACTION present will only get you friendzoned.
If you discuss these things AFTER attraction has been established between you two,it'll just increase the intial bond the attraction created.
Kal said:
yeah it was kind of long. However I set up a shorter date with this girl a week or 2 before (we could have only hung out for 2 hours or so) and she rejected the idea because it wasn't long enough and re-scheduled for a day she could have hung out longer. And besides that, what we did just took a lot of time. Went skating for 2 hours, walked around for a bit, grabbed dinner, and watched part of a hockey game. I don't disagree with you that it was too long, but she didn't want to leave.
The fact that she didn't want to leave doesn't matter,you should have cut it off anyway. That way she wouldn't be able to wait to see you the next time.
The emotional state she was in the last time you two were together will most likely be the same one you conjure up in her the next time you contact her,or that she "feels" about you after the date is over.
This is why you should have cut the date off when it was going good and after a decent amount of time.
If it was at a high point,at a place where as you said she didn't want to leave,then the very next time you called her to set up another date,the instant you start speaking to her,she emotionally will go back to that high point and thus,have a desire to get back to that "high".
If it was at a point of exhaustion from spending too much time together,then EMOTIONALLY,she start off there,which isn't good,not to mention the fact that you two ran out of things to talk about.
So the way you left things with her was her having her "fill" of you,(maybe too much),plus you two not having anything to talk about.
That's not a good emotional motivator to compel her to see you again.
Kal said:
Anyways I might have been too hasty to say this girl has lost all interest. I texted her yesterday to cancel for today and she said she wanted to do
something this week. I suggested dinner and movie at my place which there was no objections to. We just need to plan when and where to meet since she's never been to my place (and she doesn't know my part if the city).
Well this is good,but doesn't negate anything previously said.
It just gives you a second chance to add some things left out in your prior interactions.