Girl says she can't have an orgasm during sex??

[PTC]

I'd thought I would see if maybe anybody here has ever heard of or come across this? This girl I've been seeing told me the other night that she has never had an orgasm during sex, well at least from sex, but she has to give herself one before or after. I told her that I had never heard of that and that I would have to change that!! Haha!! We did have sex the other night but neither one of us ever had an orgasm because we were both to drunk. She is 31 with kids.

Any ideas on this??

 

[squirrels]

For many women, sex is a psychological thing as well as a physical one. If she's not comfortable with you enough to get "into" the sex, or if the situation isn't as particularly "arousing", they may not get off on it.

Women who get orgasms easily are usually very into sex, very sexual creatures. Women who have a harder time having orgasms usually aren't as into sex, or look at it as an affirmation of a stronger emotional bond.

This isn't always true...there ARE women out there who are into sex for personal ego validation. You can usually tell them, though...they use the sex as leverage. (or try to) Girls who cvm easy just love to have sex.

 

[Vulpine]

I've found that there are two types of chicks that are prone to this. One is the horseback riding chicks: they desensitize their cl¡t by smashing it against a saddle thousands of times. The other type is the ones who have been using a vibrator their whole life. They've trained their bodies to only get off using that tool that is not naturally found in nature (except for hummingbird/insect wings).

MOST often with both, I've found the lack of orgasm problem more rooted in men issues and trust issues then any sort physical issues. Once they depend on a vibrator, they trust it far more than any men, so their is no need/desire to learn with a man.

I've met a few and told them to turn off the vibrator and learn to orgasm without. A few did, and eventually, come around. (pun intended) And a few decided to pick a fight about it instead of accept help.

Of course, very rarely, there are the chicks that have been with lousy lays - but those are far less than the ones with issues.

Don't fix them, walk.
Every time I've found this problem, I kick myself for "accepting the challenge" and sticking around to "conquer" them Save-A-Ho style. The relationships always ended up in the dumper because the chick was an actor with issues.

Walk sooner than later - trust my experience: if she's over 23 and pulling this crap, FLEEEEEEEE! Since they can't pretend to be "a virgin", they claim this gem (of a lie) instead.

Dude, I actually had one chick that would freak out right before she was about to get off. She jump up and switch up the position, "have to pee", flip over for a bj, or just try to push me off... just to keep up with the lie! One night, when she was drunk, I got her off no less than 8 times, quickly and with ease. She didn't even act like it was any sort of "abnormal" event, no mention of "hey! wow! there's a first!" She got off just fine!

She was TRYING not to get off with me!!! :crazy: In my mind, it gets no crazier, no more manipulative, than intentionally denying yourself orgasms to keep up a rouse.

Yeah, don't play into that game: walk.

You'll eventually feel guilty for ƒucking them (since you "can't" reciprocate), and no one needs that sort of mind job. This one that tried not to get off was ALWAYS trying to make me feel inadequate in other areas as well. Talk about diabolical!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Ask her if she's ever had sex sober.

Just saying,..

 

[NewMan]

Just pumping away doesn't (usually) get the job done.

If she can come by herself, you can make it happen when banging her. Just be creative.

 

[NewMan]

Girls who cvm easy just love to have sex

These are the best!!!!

 

[PTC]

I've found that there are two types of chicks that are prone to this. One is the horseback riding chicks: they desensitize their cl¡t by smashing it against a saddle thousands of times. The other type is the ones who have been using a vibrator their whole life. They've trained their bodies to only get off using that tool that is not naturally found in nature (except for hummingbird/insect wings).

:crackup: :crackup: too funny!!!

I think this chick might be the latter cause I know she doesn't ride horses! There have already been some flags pop up with her on other issues but I'm gonna give it another whirl with the sex thing,...work my magic and see what happens,...sober this time.

 

[Hemingway]

Ask her if she's ever used a mirror to look at herself "down there." You'd be surprised at the number of women who have never done this. They are too shy or paralyzed by prudism, that it is too "naughty."

Edited to add: these can be the hottest looking women, too.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

I'm with Vulpine, on this, my experience is largely the same, sure it might take her a little bit to get "comfortable" with soemone... but to come out and state NEVER? Naw...

By age 31, by now either she's trying not to have one, or just is NOT into it/you enough, or has psychological issues / hangups.

 

[PTC]

These are the best!!!!

and the craziest!!!!!

 

[decades]

it's quite common that women don't have orgasm via intercourse. probably the rule rather than the exception. it's pretty easy to spot the "actresses". :crackup:

 

[SharpGame]

I think with the majority of women it's mainly due to issues with trust. That trust depends on how strong your frame is and how much baggage she has.

For your frame, the more you can show that you're a man who has a clear vision in life, the capacity to fulfill it, the power to control it, and the conviction to defend it...especially from her, the more she can relax and give herself to you. If don't do what you said you'd do, even something as simple as sweeping out the garage, she'll feel a lack of trust in you and won't be able to relax enough.

The other part is on her side. What is her history is like? How much has she been hurt in the past? If she has long-standing trust issues, she'll have a guard up that won't easily come down. She'll attempt to question your vision, disprove your capabilities, relinquish your power, and test your conviction. Keep in mind that ALL women have a guard up of one kind or another. It's a survival instinct. And these congruence tests will continue for the rest of her life. If your frame is so strong that you can blast right through her tests with no problem, then more power to you. But if you're not to that point yet or if she's just too screwed up, you might decide it's not worth it and that it's time to move on.

 

[PTC]

One other thing about this chick, that is kinda off the subject, is that she always brings up that she has guys asking her out all the time. She is recently divorced and we have been goin out about 3 weeks. But like today she tells me she's narrowed it down to 2 or 3 guys but she has only been out with me!! I'm not sure if she's just fvckin with me or what. If she wants to do that it's cool with me but don't keep bringin it up in front of me! I have other girls I talk to which she knows about already but I'm not always bringin it up in front of her?? When we had sex the other night she told me right before we did it that she didn't wanna have sex with me because she liked me and she new I was going to dump her once we did. So i played it off and said that was fine and stopped. Of course the next minute she was all over me!!
I've pretty much made it obvious with her that I am not wanting to get serious,... which she told me that she could already tell that! Then she jokingly said that I was a "PIMP" from all the girls I had on my myspace page HAHA!!

women.........

 

[ChumpNoMore]

Careful on her always mentioning other men hitting on her thing, might be a sh!ttest... But in my experience thats more likely a sign she could be an AW / constant ego boosts craved...

 

[SoCalMike]

Why would you want this man? If she can't have an orgasm that's her problem. I would't give two sh*ts about that if I were told.

Anyway, I'd move on if I were you. I guess you could stick around for the sex and make sure it doesn't become serious, that's your call. But personally I wouldn't wast much time messing around with some prude/mental case like this.

 

[jophil28]

.... she was ALWAYS trying to make me feel inadequate in other areas as well. Talk about diabolical!

I have had a woman (a long time ago ) who refused to have an orgasm because she saw it as a "surrender" to my power over her ..a kind of loss of her control. So she deliberately did what VP described..jumped off, changed position, shouted or laughed out loud to break the moment. Weird !

I feel for the poor chump who is now married to that screwball.

 

[puma183]

Two words: Cunni and Lingus.

 

[jophil28]

But like today she tells me she's narrowed it down to 2 or 3 guys but she has only been out with me!! I'm not sure if she's just fvckin with me or what. If she wants to do that it's cool with me but don't keep bringin it up in front of me!

She is trying to stimulate desire for her in you by prizing herself as the object of a competition between you and a couple other guys. THis is the "triangle game" .It has a large element of POWER in it.

IT is kind of 'high school', but still popular with women of all ages.

The Guru will have the perfect countermove for this situation.

 

[decades]

When a woman tells you she has "narrowed it down" between three guys and you are one of them, tell her that you will continue to see her but only if it's a casual relationship based on sex. Tell her you have no desire for anything else with her. Maybe she will agree maybe not. If she ejects good riddance. She devalued you with that comment in her attempt to solidify her role as the prize in this relationship. In a subtler way, when she says she can't orgasm "with you", she is also devaluing you. Especially if you don't know her that well. It's simply too soon to discuss matters like that in a causal arrangement.

 

[PTC]

Well last night she told me she blew the other two guys off( no pun intended) and told them she wasn't going out with them. Of course this was only after I told her that I had a couple of different women I was talking to as well and that I told her I was not looking for a relationship.

And as far as the no orgasm thing it wasn't with me but just every other guy she's been out with. She is coming over tonight so I will see about tending to and offering some kind of solution to her problem!!