Girl I've been dating for 6 months didn't invite me.. Should I be worried?

[cordoncordon]

Don't say anything about her trip now. That will just make you appear weak and insecure. The time to say anything, if there was a time, was before she left. I just can't reconcile with the fact that she went on a party weekend, with other guys being there and and she knew that you knew that, and she either A) didn't invite you, or B) didn't sit down and talk with you about it beforehand. Especially, ESPECIALLY since it was her who rented the house and planned the entire thing, so she was in charge of who came and who didn't. I could see if she got invited by one of her friends to their place. But in this case? She was in charge and had total control over it. To not invite you or at least talk to you about it is imo......inconceivable. I just cannot imagine my gf of 3 years EVER doing something like that. It would be twilight zone stuff if she did. Just wouldn't happen. I think some here can get too caught up in the whole "don't want to look an a weakling afc thing", and think that remaining silent WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP is the way to go. They forget that when in such a relationship, there are certain lines that you do not cross. There is nothing wrong with talking about this like two level headed adults before it ever got to where it is now. (him writing here about it)

So, here you are today. One, I would not have sent her that text, and I sure as hell wouldn't have gone over to see her tonight. Basically, you are rewarding her bad behavior. She knows what she did was not ok. I think any sane person would. So her punishment for acting this way? You offering to TAKE HER OUT and you going over to HER PLACE to sex. I see who wears the balls in this relationship, and it isn't the OP. Based on this one little story of yours, and the text you sent her after, I can only guess that this pattern of afc behavior on your part has been going on probably since day 1. So she is used to it and knows that she can basically do whatever she wants, and you won't say jack. Which is why she could care less about leaving her FB, phone, IM's out in the open. Even if there was something wrong in them, you won't say anything.

My suggestion. Don't go over there tonight. Don't say **** to her. Act nice and friendly if/when she contacts you, but be busy. Do other things. Don't see her. You need to change the structure of this entire relationship. And if she wants to fit inside that structure and start respecting you...great. And if not, then find someone who will.

 

[mrRuckus]

We're so used to this sh1t from women that we come to see it as normal and anyone who reacts otherwise is "overreacting."

 

[backbreaker]

I'm reaing this thread, and there are some truly clueless guys on this forum when it comes to women


You forget every issue t hat you had with this chick at the drop of a hate b because xshe offers unconditional sex

let me ask you a simple question


YOU DON'T FVCKING THINK SHE KNOWS THAT?

You don't think she knows for one second that any doubts you had about her, would go out the window once she spread her legs for you?

the fact that she is having sex with you, doesn't mean a god damn thing and doesn't change anything

seriously man get a clue.


if my wife went out with some guy friends and girl friends and didn'didn't invite me(which she wouldnt' do) but if she did, she wouldn't be stupid enough to jump my bones the second she walked in the door. she knows that would raise a red flag. if you wanted to fvck me that bad she wouldn't have left in the first place. think about that for a second.


i get so mad, because then guys like you will come back 2-3 months later, "heartbroken" and then asking "what did i do all wrong," and then get scornful against all women calling them whatever, when the **** is right in front of you and right now you can do something about it, but you are too happy to be getting some to be objective.

 

[cordoncordon]

I'm reaing this thread, and there are some truly clueless guys on this forum when it comes to women


You forget every issue t hat you had with this chick at the drop of a hate b because xshe offers unconditional sex

let me ask you a simple question


YOU DON'T FVCKING THINK SHE KNOWS THAT?

You don't think she knows for one second that any doubts you had about her, would go out the window once she spread her legs for you?

the fact that she is having sex with you, doesn't mean a god damn thing and doesn't change anything

seriously man get a clue.


if my wife went out with some guy friends and girl friends and didn'didn't invite me(which she wouldnt' do) but if she did, she wouldn't be stupid enough to jump my bones the second she walked in the door. she knows that would raise a red flag. if you wanted to fvck me that bad she wouldn't have left in the first place. think about that for a second.


i get so mad, because then guys like you will come back 2-3 months later, "heartbroken" and then asking "what did i do all wrong," and then get scornful against all women calling them whatever, when the **** is right in front of you and right now you can do something about it, but you are too happy to be getting some to be objective.

Well said.

The part I really have to shake my head at is where he texts her to take HER OUT to celebrate HIS finishing exams. Dude, you have it azz backwards. She should be taking YOU out not only because she f'd up by going on this weekend with other single guys, but because it was YOU who just finished up exams. Its like graduating from Harvard and you tell your wife or gf you want to buy her a gift to celebrate. I don't get it. But this very pattern of behavior is why she felt fine in doing what she did last weekend. She knew she could and everything would be A Ok.

She has you wrapped around her finger. I bet the thought of breaking up scares you to death doesn't it? Gives you cold chills? Nightmares? Yeah.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm not trying to be a jerk

you have to understand, that while women do in fact enjoy sex, they don't enjoy sx like men enjoy sex. women tend to take a more pragmatic view of sex than women do. moreso as means to an ends then men do.


because men, truly desire/ urge to have sex, they allow themselves to be controlled/manipulated by it.

This is not a good girl or bad girl approach, this is a woman approach. when you meet a woman and you impress her, she gives it up because she wants to keep you around. she is showcasing herself to you so to speak.

my wife and i have sex what,, on avg 3 times a week. evenn though she initates the vast amojunt of it, it's not becuase she's horny, it's becuase she knows that i expect to fvck 2-3 times a week. we aren't fvcking 2-3 times a week, i'm not going to be very happy .,ande if she likes her current setup (she doesn't work, and has everything she wantns, lives in a ry nice house and we travel pretty much every month), it's in her best interest to keep me as happy as possible, which means i need to get little backbreaker wet at least 2-3 times a week. if he doesn't, he's going to more likely go look for it selsewhere.

i'm not saying, she never just wants it (especially when she comes off her time of the month) or i might come home from the gym and she's just really in the mood or something, or whatever the case may be, but that's a lot less common than just "maintenance sex"

her telling you that she's 'really horny" is no different than you walking in a strip club and a stripper telling you how horny she is and how it would be in your best interest to pay for some time alone. she's trying to convince you that she's horny like you are horny, but women don't get horny like you and i get horny (at least not as often as we do) and if she really was tht horny, she wouldn't have thought about going anywhere without you in the first place.

her telling you that she is horny, accomplishes 2 things. first it gives you the indirect implication that she did not do anything over the weekends. i.e she wouldn't be horny ifs he didn't have sex. and 2. it directly implies that she wants you to fulfill her desires.

 

[st_99]

I'm not trying to be a jerk

i agree. us guys are so easy to think, ok we're back to 100% after we find out our girl still wants to f*ck us. So dumb we can be.

 

[vatoloco]

Here's the thing.. I know this f*cking bullsh*t game of not showing any emotions and letting the girl have the talk with YOU, but I really don't want to play it anymore. I just want the answer, and if it's not what I want to hear I can move on that much sooner instead of indefinitely playing this "game."

You're the master of your own destiny. What I get from this particular tidbit is that you want an exclusive LTR with this girl, correct? That's fine. Some of us want LTRs. The thing is that you should try to get her to come up with the idea first, so that you come into the LTR in a position of power.

Now, what worries me and makes my spider sense tingle is the fact that you've been dating this girl for 6 months and she hasn't brought up the exclusivity talk. Unfortunately for you Para, it appears that this particular set up is non-compatible: you appear to want an LTR and she appears to want to keep the casual status quo, with the option of perhaps seeing/fucking other guys or waiting for a better branch...

Hindsight is always 20/20 but what you should've done is kept spinning plates (see sig below) until she hinted at/requested exclusivity. That way if she never does, you have other plates with which to establish an LTR, if that's what you're interested in. If she does [indirectly] request it, and she's been a good girl so far, then that's when you seize the opportunity and enter the LTR on your terms, dropping the rest of your plates.

Now, if you do want exclusivity, you can always ask for it. But be aware that you risk the chance of being rejected and losing the woman (which wouldn't be a problem if you had other plates spinning). Also, in the case that she accepts, you will come into the LTR at a disadvantage, she knowing that you wanted it more than her.

Just food for thought... YMMV.

 

[pdx1138]

Now, what worries me and makes my spider sense tingle is the fact that you've been dating this girl for 6 months and she hasn't brought up the exclusivity talk.

What's the time range when women usually do this?

 

[.Paradox.]

So.. What if I go over and tell her I don't want to see her anymore?

 

[HariPoter13]

I'm reaing this thread, and there are some truly clueless guys on this forum when it comes to women


You forget every issue t hat you had with this chick at the drop of a hate b because xshe offers unconditional sex

let me ask you a simple question


YOU DON'T FVCKING THINK SHE KNOWS THAT?

You don't think she knows for one second that any doubts you had about her, would go out the window once she spread her legs for you?

the fact that she is having sex with you, doesn't mean a god damn thing and doesn't change anything

seriously man get a clue.


if my wife went out with some guy friends and girl friends and didn'didn't invite me(which she wouldnt' do) but if she did, she wouldn't be stupid enough to jump my bones the second she walked in the door. she knows that would raise a red flag. if you wanted to fvck me that bad she wouldn't have left in the first place. think about that for a second.


i get so mad, because then guys like you will come back 2-3 months later, "heartbroken" and then asking "what did i do all wrong," and then get scornful against all women calling them whatever, when the **** is right in front of you and right now you can do something about it, but you are too happy to be getting some to be objective.

I believe your wife disrespected you badly once and then she offered you makeup sex which you gladly accepted?



Im talking about the time where you met up with a female coworker to do buisness, and your wife showed out of nowhere and started the drama.

 

[cordoncordon]

So.. What if I go over and tell her I don't want to see her anymore?

No. Again you are thinking too emotionally. Just text her and tell her something came up and you can't make it. Leave it at that. Then go about your normal business. Don't give her some long speech about the relationship. Act like you don't care. Be nice to her, but speak in generalities and be brief. Let her wonder about the status of the relationship for a change.

 

[backbreaker]

\

lol i'm not

I believe your wife disrespected you badly once and then she offered you makeup sex which you gladly accepted?



Im talking about the time where you met up with a female coworker to do buisness, and your wife showed out of nowhere and started the drama.

yes, but you are 100% correct. my wife isn't perfect. andd this iwas before we were married.

but there is a difference, between offering someone makeup sex because you know you fuvked up by rushing to judgement by thinking your fiancee is sleeping with his assistant and thinking you are catch hing him in the act, and your GF going out of town to kick it with a bunch of guys and not invite you.

the root of my fiancee/wife's problems was that she wanted to tie the knot, and the more we went without tiing the not, the more insecure she got. shes a few years older than me. this girls problem is that she's a *****.

lol i'm not anti make up sex. i'm anti make up sex when the reason for the make up sex is to cover up the fact that my GF/fiancee/wife is a *****.

 

[Alle_Gory]

So.. What if I go over and tell her I don't want to see her anymore?

Perfect example of how easy you are to manipulate. She knows this, which is why you're just a casual thing instead of her man. You're a toy, not a man. You did this.

Just sit down and think. The best thing you can do right now is absolutelly nothing. Tell her something came up and you'll have to reschedule. Don't apologize, don't grovel just "Hey I can't make it tonight, some other time." and then shut your phone off. No explanations necessary. It's your business.

Now what will you be doing in the meantime? Getting your head straight because you're obviously crazy over this girl and she's not the same over you. You want to be exclusive and are willing to dump her if she doesn't want the same thing. That's too sudden and emotional.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Your not exclusive with her?

It really doesn't matter what she does then. Sounds like your dealing with a jump-off.

Any other girl would have been asked a "what are we"

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I'm reaing this thread, and there are some truly clueless guys on this forum when it comes to women


You forget every issue t hat you had with this chick at the drop of a hate b because xshe offers unconditional sex

let me ask you a simple question


YOU DON'T FVCKING THINK SHE KNOWS THAT?

You don't think she knows for one second that any doubts you had about her, would go out the window once she spread her legs for you?

the fact that she is having sex with you, doesn't mean a god damn thing and doesn't change anything

seriously man get a clue.


if my wife went out with some guy friends and girl friends and didn'didn't invite me(which she wouldnt' do) but if she did, she wouldn't be stupid enough to jump my bones the second she walked in the door. she knows that would raise a red flag. if you wanted to fvck me that bad she wouldn't have left in the first place. think about that for a second.


i get so mad, because then guys like you will come back 2-3 months later, "heartbroken" and then asking "what did i do all wrong," and then get scornful against all women calling them whatever, when the **** is right in front of you and right now you can do something about it, but you are too happy to be getting some to be objective.

Some straight up truth being preached by BB! I'd rep you but I gotta spread the love around before it lets me again. Great posts, not just this one, but particularly your first response to this thread was money.

Cordon also nailed it!


This guy will have to learn the hard way, the simple fact that he's not exclusive is a huge piece of information that I glazed over or wasn't mentioned in his op.

This girl is def getting action the side and using the power of the p*$$y to keep him blind to it.

This will not end well.






PIMP

 

[bukowski_merit]

Jesus fvcking christ!

OP:

#1: You and half the rest of the people in this thread are massively overreacting to nothing.
#2: It should be HER worrying about YOU. Period! When you take it upon yourself to worry and get upset stomachs over her - you're taking on the b!tch/feminine role (which a lot of sosuave posters prefer to do.) Having her worry about what the fvck you are doing will solve 50% of every problem you have with women.
#3: She is not exclusive to you, and you should not be to her (im not saying that im some god pimp who "knows" that she's getting fvck by looking in my pimple ball.... all im saying is that YOU should be fvcking others until you're in an exclusive relationship. This will change the way you act around her and towards her in such a way that a lot of the "what does she think about us?" questions will suddenly be right in front of you - coming out of her sad face.) This will solve the other 50%
#4: For the love of god - please scale back how much you're seeing this girl! Don't be available to her. Let her miss you like you've missed her. You're spending way too much time with a girl who's not even verbally committed to you. You've allowed your fvcking biology to bond you to this girl. Stupid stuff.
#5: Don't ever think that having that discussion with a woman about "what are we?" is a good idea unless you're doing it to ruin the relationship.
#6: Worrying about what she's doing will force you into a position where you want to hang out with her MORE to make sure she's not going to get access to new d!ck. This is a bad frame to be in, and i smell it on you.
#7: You can't be scared of other men. You can't fear other c@ck. Fear of competition is WEAKNESS..... and NOTHING good comes from that. Only easy ways for her to brain fvck you whenever she needs to.

 

[Masculinity]

Her: I have plans tomorrow night. But can you come over and f*ck me senseless tonight? I've been super horny and this morning I was dreaming about you rubbing my cl!t...

Me: I'll be over at 7. And I expect you to be wearing something sexy for me

Oookay! You no longer need our help. My boy is all grown up now

On a serious note, you giving in to her giving you poon reminded of that chick that infiltrated the forum about a week ago. Everyone went f*cking crazy and responding immediately to what she had to say. It makes me sad to know most of the guys in here just do mental masturbation reading after reading...

 

[tafakna]

So.. What if I go over and tell her I don't want to see her anymore?

Go, have sex, make sure she has the time of her life, then mumble something about having to leave, and get up and leave. Don't spend the night, don't ask about the trip, don't tell about how your weekend was...

Don't be the first one to break and ask where you are standing, etc...

Keep her confused and guessing and you will be handling her the same tactics she has been using on you...

 

[betheman]

OP, you are, quite simply a 'plate' to this girl, no more no less, she has the power, she has all the options, you either see that for what it is and live with it, or jump ship and move on, I really dont think this girl sees you as 'the one'!

use it for sex and good times but dont get attached, get a few more options for yourself, if there isnt anyone already, it will make the break up with this girl that bit easier when she tires of you

 

[BlackMack177]

I don't see the point in all the BS games. OP, if you honestly have something come up then cancel the plans, but don't do it just to try and get some imaginary reaction from her. I can bet if you do that then she will not be too effected by it considering that you two are NOT exclusive from what i'm reading.

You sir, sound like you are her jump off. This is a F buddy situation to which you caught feelings and now are wondering what to do in order to control this girl. You thought you had her locked down, but then she went and pulled a quick left jab on you by not inviting you to this one event. The only issue being that guys will be there. If this was a chick trip then I bet you'd have no post here about this issue. How dare your 'NOT' gf not invite you somewhere where there will be other guys so that you can guard that pvssy?? You're letting you ego get the best of you.

If this chick is not really your lady, then you need to see this situation for what it is. You are just her jump off. she is just your jump off. simple as that. nothing wrong with it either. Treat a jump off like they should be treated, by keeping your feelings and ego out of it and just enjoying the sex.