Girl i want to bang KEEPS msging me first but WONT meet up keeps making excuses

[Bigpapa]

I would take a different approach. Put this chick on the spot.

"I am going to try to scratch this itch one final time. I'm going to such and such place tomorrow night at 9pm for a drink or two. Let me know if you are free to meet then. If not, thats ok too....the itch will be scratched either way. Let me know soon".

it never works unfortunately

 

[Glassguy]

It works insofar as you can say you were clear as a bell with her before blocking/dropping her a$$.

Exactly. And I have had women start back peddling before and meet up. It does work. Often? Probably not.

 

[Bigpapa]

It works insofar as you can say you were clear as a bell with her before blocking/dropping her a$$.

Women know What they are doing when going missing in action , so you do not have to be clearer than just saying ok or whatever , as you are pushing her , and women do not like to be pushed around even if they know they deserve it

 

[Bigpapa]

I just wouldn't want to give her the drama by giving the ultimatum, but strategically anything that gives finality is technically working.

Ultimatums rarely work because it shows that you are butthurt , which is more or less the objective of women playing games like this

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ive tried making plans with her 7 times already always gave me a excuse and this is even when it was her day off work and she wasent doing jack lol

Wow bro...that is WAY too many. At this point she thinks you are desperate and you have likely not only killed any attraction she would have had, but took a car and ran over the body 3 or 4 times just to make sure it was dead.

I wouldn't be surprised if she has a bet with her friends to see how many times she csn get you to ask her out or if they have a group chat going about it and she sends them updates of you asking her out and every time you do they sit around and laugh about it together over group chat.

And OP, I am not joking with the above, this is the stuff women actually do...I have seen it from some women showing me other guys they or their friends had group chats about.

 

[soulforge]

I think the max a dude should try to arrange a sex date is 2-3 maximum..

Anything above that is just stupid and thirsty and will kill attraction!

 

[Bigpapa]

yes it is, all attention is good attention for them. They want you to care. I have a woman in my life like this now, she is so annoying but since I have little else going on its hard to say no and doesnt wound my pride much really.

Feel you bro

 

[bat soup]

Long story short i met her at work ( i dont work there anymore ) we flirted alot.
She acts like shes super keen back when i worked with her she would ask me who im txting , i remember once i was tlking to a chick at work and shes asks me who is that how do you know her ? Asif shes jelous

Anyways tho ive tried msking plans with her multiple times and she keeps giving excuses.
Anywahs the first 2 times i tried she gave me excuses i knew it was BS the medium is the msg if she wanted to meet me SHE WOULD i know so i stoped msging her. But then she would msg me and start a convo and ill try again and she would come up woth a excuse or avoid the question.

1 day she msged me randomly she was drunk and she was like sooo when are goijg to come see me come see me now . And i was literally finshing work in 30 mins and i was like alright ill be there in 30mins whats your adress then AGAIN she gave a excuse but then she goes i wsnt to lick your abs but she wouldnt meet.
I got fustrated i played it cool but then i tried making plans with her again ( since she literally told me when am i going to come see her ) so you woukd think she would make plabs but no i tried snd she wouldn't give me an answer and made excuses again.
So i stopped msging her again and 2 days later she msgs me gojng she misses me at work because i left and a few hrs later she puts up a snapchat going who wants to meet up for drinks so i replied and said ye lets go for drinks AND SHE IGNORES ME. so at this point ive literally tried making plans with her like 7 times shes given me excuses every time but she keeps starting convos with me flirting and putting up snapchats and insta stories wanting to apparently hang out with somone and when i take the bait nothing she doesnt meet.

So anyways after all that i got pre fustrated with her and im not msging her 4 days we havent msged and SHE MSGS ME AGAIN and starts a convo i havent opened up her snapchat yet but i literally dont want to evwn tlk to her if shes not going to meet i dont see the point.
So what should i do guys ? And why does she flirt why does ALWAYS send me msgs FIRST but never meets. Is she just a attention ***** ? Or should i still tlk to her casualy and try to get her out again or what ?
Tbh i am pretty fustrated with her and anoyyed i feel like soon ill probably tell her off because its anoyying as ****.
Ps : she uploads pics in gstrings on snapchat somtimes so shes that type of girl definitely has been around thats why i woukd thibk she would just meet up . In my experience any girl thats acted like that with me WILL MEET UP but not her ?
Shes 18 and im 25
Thoughts?

Just from the title I know she's an attention whoare.

Basically these women love to bait you but never actually put out. You have to learn to distinguish real interest from fake interest.

 

[Visionist]

Two strike rule.

Three strikes on very rare occasions.

 

[nismo-4]

yes it is, all attention is good attention for them. They want you to care.

We as men care so little, we care so much. I have never met a straight man who would rather play with himself or hold his Playstation controller. The warmth of a hot woman is so much better than that of a game console or a 92" Samsung LED Smart TV. Do men enjoy sleeping with their ipads every night? If they're starting a business or building one, they likely are but they're gonna want to sleep with a real woman who sexually desires them.

The thing is if we didn't care, we wouldn't talk to women at all. Nor would we be asking these kinds of questions. Yet there's so many boards and videos on this topic. Yeah we care. And we can't just not care about women at all while going into monk mode and we'll have Victoria's Secret Angels sucking our dix a month later.

In most cases like this, read Mauser96's response in dealing with an attention wh0re. But most of the time, they won't reinitiate. Use the 1 strike rule. 2 at most. Girls follow these silly-ass rules they read in Cosmo and Vogue. They wouldn't use these with Lebron James or Elon Musk. We all know why.

End of the day, girl is still in control because she didn't put out. And she doesn't find you attractive. Sure you could walk away. Gives you some control, but it's a L since you didn't get her. She'll either try to keep you around as a beta or write you off as useless. Useless being better, but most guys are still gonna have to resort to leveling up, using their right hand until they do.

Attention wh0res cause my libido to drop for them. For you OP, 7 times? You would've been better off getting overtime in work. Next time, 1 or 2 chances only.

Case closed.

 

[bat soup]

[BAIT]..
She acts like shes super keen ...As if shes jealous [bait]

[REJECTION]
ive tried making plans with her multiple times and she keeps giving excuses.

In the rest of your story, watch how this cycle of bait and rejection is repeated over and over again:

1 day she messsaged me [BAIT]...then AGAIN she gave a excuse [REJECTION] but then she goes i want to lick your abs [BAIT] but she wouldn't meet [REJECTION]

she asked me when am i going to come see her [BAIT] and made excuses again [REJECTION].
So i stopped giving her attention and 2 days later she msgs me saying she misses me at work [BAIT] and a few hrs later she puts up a snapchat going who wants to meet up for drinks [more [BAIT] so i took the bait and said yes lets go for drinks and then SHE IGNORED ME [REJECTION] so at this point ive literally tried making plans with her like 7 times shes given me excuses [REJECTION] every time but she keeps [BAITing] me, flirting and putting up snapchats and insta stories wanting to apparently hang out with somone and when i take the [BAIT] nothing she doesn't meet [REJECTION].

[BAIT]
She sends messages
She Flirts
She posts instagram shots in g-strings

[REJECTION]
She makes excuses
She doesn't meet up
She ignores you
She plays stupid

Notice how in your own words you say she "acts" interested. That's the key word right there. She'll keep baiting and rejecting you as many times as you allow the cycle to continue. That's what attention whoares do.

 

[dude99]

Long story short i met her at work ( i dont work there anymore ) we flirted alot.
She acts like shes super keen back when i worked with her she would ask me who im txting , i remember once i was tlking to a chick at work and shes asks me who is that how do you know her ? Asif shes jelous

Anyways tho ive tried msking plans with her multiple times and she keeps giving excuses.
Anywahs the first 2 times i tried she gave me excuses i knew it was BS the medium is the msg if she wanted to meet me SHE WOULD i know so i stoped msging her. But then she would msg me and start a convo and ill try again and she would come up woth a excuse or avoid the question.

1 day she msged me randomly she was drunk and she was like sooo when are goijg to come see me come see me now . And i was literally finshing work in 30 mins and i was like alright ill be there in 30mins whats your adress then AGAIN she gave a excuse but then she goes i wsnt to lick your abs but she wouldnt meet.
I got fustrated i played it cool but then i tried making plans with her again ( since she literally told me when am i going to come see her ) so you woukd think she would make plabs but no i tried snd she wouldn't give me an answer and made excuses again.
So i stopped msging her again and 2 days later she msgs me gojng she misses me at work because i left and a few hrs later she puts up a snapchat going who wants to meet up for drinks so i replied and said ye lets go for drinks AND SHE IGNORES ME. so at this point ive literally tried making plans with her like 7 times shes given me excuses every time but she keeps starting convos with me flirting and putting up snapchats and insta stories wanting to apparently hang out with somone and when i take the bait nothing she doesnt meet.

So anyways after all that i got pre fustrated with her and im not msging her 4 days we havent msged and SHE MSGS ME AGAIN and starts a convo i havent opened up her snapchat yet but i literally dont want to evwn tlk to her if shes not going to meet i dont see the point.
So what should i do guys ? And why does she flirt why does ALWAYS send me msgs FIRST but never meets. Is she just a attention ***** ? Or should i still tlk to her casualy and try to get her out again or what ?
Tbh i am pretty fustrated with her and anoyyed i feel like soon ill probably tell her off because its anoyying as ****.
Ps : she uploads pics in gstrings on snapchat somtimes so shes that type of girl definitely has been around thats why i woukd thibk she would just meet up . In my experience any girl thats acted like that with me WILL MEET UP but not her ?
Shes 18 and im 25
Thoughts?

Classic case of an attention ***** jacking you around and using you for entertainment.

Classic case of her having low interest in you.

Classic case of us saying over and over and over, never pay attention to anything she says. Pay attention to her actions. Her words will lie. Her actions never will.

She is making excuses, ignoring, not replying and playing games. The only thing she wants from you is validation and every time you try again and again you are validating her.

You have tried 7 times. If after the 2nd time she doesn't agree to make plans or at least counter offer plans then she is deliberately wasting your time.
Leave her last snap.chat crap on unread. Unfollow her. Next and go date other women

Stop feeding this one free attention and free validation.

 

[dude99]

..
I simply drop all attention and move on.

This.

 

[flowtheory]

Your problem is a common one, and an easy one.

Here is what you do;

Stop reaching out.
If she contacts you for any reason, no matter what she says you say this:

"Hey, I am pretty busy these days, not alot of time to text. Just contact me when you are free to get together"

if she responds with anything other than an offer to get together, you simply don't respond.
Let her text you 6 times if she wants, don't respond


She will realize she needs to set a time and place, or she will never get a response from you again.

Do this.
Do it once. And when she doesn’t set a time or show interest in getting together, prepare to never engage with her again.

You’ve tried 7 times. If she had actual high-interest in you, you would have only had to try one or two times.
it’s okay though, we’ve all fallen in to at least one woman’s cobweb of validating them with our time and attention without anything in return except a slightly jaded view of ourselves and the opposite sex.

But just know the problem is that YOU are investing in poor options. Because YOU don’t know your own value or have true self-respect. Because If you did? This thread wouldn’t exist and you’d probably be getting ready for a date with a sexy woman tonight who appreciates your time and would love to show it

 

[r4zorsharp]

some girls live off attention. they are insecure and all they need to feel good when they are down is open up any app and get some attention from all the losers that they immediately discount once they get attention from.

you needa be out a girls reach for her to really want you, and that means give her no personal attention.

 

[Redwolf]

As others have said she is an attention W. You need to stop replying to her and remove all attention from her. If she reaches out to meet up then respond. You have made it clear you are interested.

Women are like cats. If you chase they will run. If you just leave your door open they get curious and come in.

Blocking her makes you look butt hurt. Just ignore on social media and all text. Don't follow any of her stories on snap or instagram. Make it clear you don't care what she's up to. By not blocking you leave the door open if she ever wants to come around and act right.

If you bump into her in person be kind and fun to be around but keep it short and move on.

Remember it's her loss, not yours.

 

[Rake101]

As others have said she is an attention W. You need to stop replying to her and remove all attention from her. If she reaches out to meet up then respond. You have made it clear you are interested.

Women are like cats. If you chase they will run. If you just leave your door open they get curious and come in.

Blocking her makes you look butt hurt. Just ignore on social media and all text. Don't follow any of her stories on snap or instagram. Make it clear you don't care what she's up to. By not blocking you leave the door open if she ever wants to come around and act right.

If you bump into her in person be kind and fun to be around but keep it short and move on.

Remember it's her loss, not yours.

Yep that's exactly what im going to do , i predict she will msg me again randomly or send me a pic on snapchat in a few days . And im tryna figure out a smooth way to respond in asking her to meet. Maybe i just say so you wanna make plans and meet ? And if she doesnt answer it ill ignore

 

[Rake101]

Just from the title I know she's an attention whoare.

Basically these women love to bait you but never actually put out. You have to learn to distinguish real interest from fake interest.

I know thats what it feels like i think this is the first big attention W Ive delat with because every other guy that acted like this with me we meet up she was easy ti meet with and we banged. This one seems to be all games

 

[Redwolf]

Yep that's exactly what im going to do , i predict she will msg me again randomly or send me a pic on snapchat in a few days . And im tryna figure out a smooth way to respond in asking her to meet. Maybe i just say so you wanna make plans and meet ? And if she doesnt answer it ill ignore

Yes exactly. If you even respond keep it short and direct.

She has already disrespected you so don't be too eager to respond to her.

 

[eternal5]

Yep that's exactly what im going to do , i predict she will msg me again randomly or send me a pic on snapchat in a few days . And im tryna figure out a smooth way to respond in asking her to meet. Maybe i just say so you wanna make plans and meet ? And if she doesnt answer it ill ignore

Why bother trying again though...? I don't understand. You tried 7 times already. What makes you think she'll agree to meet you? I'd ghost, or if she's someone you'll still see at work then just keep it short and end whatever convo she initiates.