Girl Flaked on me

[bunjy]

Since you guys gave me decent advice on here I thought I post an mini update.

Still not heard from said girl, been 3 days now. Ive not txted her and have made moves on other women (got a number lastnight).

Anyway interestingly I found out yesterday, through a friend of a friend that girl who blew me off actually only split up from her bf 2 weeks ago. Literally days before she started txt/calling me. Apparently her bf of 4 months dumped her spectacularly and actually stood her up on a date. He wont take her back apparently.

So It seems she probably had no real interest and was just using me as an ego boost and for attention to make herself feel better. Hence when it came to actually 'walking the walk' she pulled out, and they wonder why some of us men are so bitter.

 

[bunjy]

Shes just left a message of my facebook wall saying 'Your hot x'. WTF.

I might engage her.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

She's trying to get your attention. I don't think she's serious man. I would probably ignore that wall post. Infact, why did you add her on facebook. I hate adding girls I like or want on facebook. Ruins everything. I learnt that the hard way. But "Your hot." ? Pft, don't fall for it. You ignoring her is working that's why she's trying to poke you for attention. She should be asking to meet up again. DONT FALL FOR HER BS!

 

[bunjy]

But "Your hot." ? Pft, don't fall for it. You ignoring her is working that's why she's trying to poke you for attention. She should be asking to meet up again. DONT FALL FOR HER BS!

I replied with a small ****y comment (starting to wish I hadnt now) As you say ignoring her is the way to go unless shes asking to meet up.

It certainly is attention seeking BS.

Short of her calling/txting me asking me on a date Im not going to bother with her anymore.

 

[bunjy]

Right my friend (who has a good track record with women) told me I should of replied with something abit more engaging to her fb wall post.

He thinks I need to chase her more and thats why she has pulled back in the first place (because I wasnt chasing her enough).

 

[Johnnyventana]

So, she didn't respond to you for 4 days or so, and you respond back to her in 26 minutes? Huh. How long are you going to keep repeating that with her?

 

[The_411]

Slow your roll. If you think it's a bad idea ... wait and see if it is later. Most of the time it ends up being a bad idea.

Stop reading into things if a woman is into you she will let you know. Don't try to read tea leaves or pick something out and say it's favorable becuase you want to think positively.

Hope is the opiate of the AFC.

You send and she breaks the committment you're out of there onto the next. It's up to her to re-engage and even then she needs to rpove she's worth it before you even think of taking her up on her offer.

 

[MrI0wn]

What a joke this topic is. This was a lost cause the minute you forgave her for wasting your time by flaking out.

 

[Professor Booty]

I wouldn't have replied to the wall post. I would only contact to set up another date. I just had a date cancel on the weekend by text with the same apologetic tone, and the excuse was work as well. I might give it another try in a week or so but I'm not getting my hopes up. I do think it's worth one more shot (two strikes rule) but I certainly wouldn't be wasting any time with her on Facebook.

 

[bunjy]

So, she didn't respond to you for 4 days or so, and you respond back to her in 26 minutes? Huh. How long are you going to keep repeating that with her?

As I said after responding back on fb I regretted it almost instantly. Even though it was a short throwaway comment it was definetely a bad move. TBH I was a little stunned by the fact Id not heard from her for 4 days and she puts a comment like that on my fb. How should I have reacted to this? Should I have just ignored it and wait until she asks for a date? (I think it probably would of been the best move to ignore it).

Im not really sure how to play this out. It seems to me very unlikely she'll be ringing/txting me straight out asking for a date but she is still obviously hanging around in the background.

 

[bunjy]

Slow your roll. If you think it's a bad idea ... wait and see if it is later. Most of the time it ends up being a bad idea.

Stop reading into things if a woman is into you she will let you know. Don't try to read tea leaves or pick something out and say it's favorable becuase you want to think positively.

Hope is the opiate of the AFC.

You send and she breaks the committment you're out of there onto the next. It's up to her to re-engage and even then she needs to rpove she's worth it before you even think of taking her up on her offer.

Spot on. Im quite put off by her attitude anyway now so doubt Id consider anything other than gaming her for a lay.

 

[oxford comma]

step 1: dont contact her
step 2: get with hotter girl
step 3: post pic of u with hotter girl on fb
step 4: flakey girl is now interested, cuz girls are jealous crazy *****z

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

Errm, for starters, stop putting so much effort and thought into just one girl who isn't even really interested. I'm telling you that FB post was her teasing you for attention. I don't think she is interested. Seriously, when you like a girl, do you ignore them and not make dates? NO, you chase them. She's not chasing you at all. If she wanted you she'd be counter offering you a date for her last fuk up. Find another girl man. Text her next Thursday or the next and tell her to join you for a drink at the local bar or whatever.

 

[bunjy]

6 years into the game, I still find myself occasionally forcing a flakey chick into dates/conversation, which is about as futile as trying to clap with one hand.

Yeah I totally understand this. A year or so ago I wasted plenty of time dealing with a flaky chick and in the end got nothing more than a short date and a kiss. I swore I wasnt gonna waste my time with this sort of chick again, but here I am although tbf Ive not really wasted much time or effort after she blew me off last Friday.

Its classic wanting what you cant have though isnt it. Ive got this other chick Im gaming now (the number I got the other night) and she seems pretty interested but I still find myself somewhat thinking about the flaky chick who blew me off (mainly because she was stunning).

 

[bunjy]

What a joke this topic is. This was a lost cause the minute you forgave her for wasting your time by flaking out.

Yes this is true. Hower Im of the opinion that some girls will behave this way and can still be gamed.

Ive got a good female friend who is terrible for flaking out on guys and admits she likes to be chased and likes to play 'hard to get'. Most guys give up or f**k things up for themselves with her by showing her too much attention but over the years the odd two or three have managed to eventually win her over. I remember she played hard to get with one guy and he pretty much completely blew her off (was totally cool with her, didnt call her out on her games or anything), she became somewhat infatuated with him over the course of a month or so haha. This guy wasnt even the best looking guy or anything but he certainly knew how to handle flaky attention seeking girls well.

I dont think this is the case for the majority of flakes though which obv just have low interest.

 

[bunjy]

Well guys I f**ked up (I think). Initiated contact with this flakey chick this morning. She txt back literally within 30 seconds asking how I was etc. Cue afternoon of txting back and forward, mostly flirty txts (she talked about sex at one point, although just generally not specifically with me).

I said to her at one point 'You owe me a date' (was done in a funny unserious context as I didnt want to be asking her out again) to which she replied 'I know xx'. TBH Im not really sure what to do now, Im obv not gonna ask her again but it does seem she has some interest in me. Her txts are definentely flirty and we have had lots of banter, me teasing her etc.

Maybe am just kidding myself. I am ready to give up and just delete number but not sure if its worth sticking around to see what comes of it (and not really sure how to proceed). Obviously I dont just want to have txt with her and want to actually date her/bang her but Im not sure If this is possible as she may just be using me for attention. On the other hand she could just be playing hard to get to some extent, I do think initially she showed me far too much attention and Im thinking that maybe shes pulled back because of this.

Shes txting me right now. Ive got another chick txting me aswell and she seems keen to meet at the weekend, but it has to be said Im much more interested in the flake lol.

EDIT: Flake has now accussed me of being a 'ladies man' and that 'shes not used to it'. Bit suspect if you ask me cos shes pretty hot and must get chatted up all the time.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Name a time and place. Be done. Either way.

Seriously, it's that easy. Should she accept. Then go away, until the date! Enough with the waste of time texting. Save something for the date, should it happen.

If she gives you a flakey answer, then make plans with the other chick. And stop wasting your time on an AW.

In and out, quick. Keep the interest going. The texting is destroying the interest. Set a date. Go away. Go on the date. Let her think of you.

That all said, this seems like a lost cause.

 

[bunjy]

That all said, this seems like a lost cause.

Yep it is. After txting all day and night yesterday I thought f**k it and suggested we go out this weekend. She told me she was away visiting friends and that she is sorry shes so busy all the time at the moment. She basically said with working 13 hr days at the moment (she does have a demanding high powered career job) she finds it hard trying to juggle everything/make time for people. This may be true but still I dont give a crap because if she likes me she should be able to make time to see me.

Lastnight ended with her telling me 'I promise we'll go out soon' and to 'leave it with her'.

Im done with her now and aint gonna txt her and if she txts me will just tell her straight up that Id rather meet and CBA with txting. I did mention lastnight that I get bored quickly with txting.

 

[shizz702]

Forget about her and focus on other things.

She may or may not come back. Disregard her until she does, if she does.

Get used to flaking, learn to laugh at it and expect it especially if it really is a hot chick.

 

[LoneWolf]

I don't think she's interested. It's happened to me many times and from experience she's just using you for attention. She's not serious about you man. Go out with the other girl. Just cause it seems like she's flirting with you doesn't mean she likes you. She's just playing with you. She's bored. I bet she will flake again but if you must, set a date RIGHT now .. time, place etc. If she fuks up one more time. NEXT!