Girl at work is flirting

[Lambda]

There's a 22-year old girl at my new job that is flirting with me. I've been there for two months, and she's been flirting with me from the start. We have had physical contact the whole time, and lately she has been more daring, as she sometimes leans her breasts against my arm, her thigh against my hand, and so on. She also shows interest in my private life, asking if I have a girlfriend, if I have children, if I have my own car, If I have my own apartement..

This physical contact makes me really horny, and maybe I have some feelings for her too. The flirting has been pretty consistent, until lately. I think that I've been a little bit too clingy lately as she has withdrawn a little. Therefore I stopped giving her attention for a couple of days, and she started to flirt again.

The big downside is that she has a boyfriend. I'm not sure how their relationship is going, but obviously he's not giving her what she needs. They have been together for 3 years.

My question is what to do about this situation. I want to get intimate with her, and maybe even more. The fact that we work together is not a problem, as I'm changing job within a few weeks/months anyway. If I'm going to invite her to my place, would it be wise to wait until the bf is away?

 

[romangod]

If I'm going to invite her to my place, would it be wise to wait until the bf is away?

No, the wise thing to do is quit being an AFC and falling for some AW that has a boyfriend.


Cheers!

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Who cares about a boyfriend? Why haven't you gotten her # already? There's a girl at my work who is new, and the first time she flirted with I got her # and I'm going to tap it. I don't care about any boyfriend.

 

[drtk]

Who cares about a boyfriend? Why haven't you gotten her # already? There's a girl at my work who is new, and the first time she flirted with I got her # and I'm going to tap it. I don't care about any boyfriend.

Listen to my man Vlad here, he speaks wise words.

 

[Lambda]

Ok, by # you mean number, right? Yeah I've got her phone number. But what do you mean by "tap" it?

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Ok, by # you mean number, right? Yeah I've got her phone number. But what do you mean by "tap" it?

Tap it means bang her. It's probably a bad idea since she works with me but I'm doing it anyway. She agreed to go out tomorrow night I just have to call her tonight and set everything up.

 

[Lambda]

I take it this is your first experience with an attention *****. Sucker.... Plus, this ones also got a BF of 3 years. She is toying with you dude. Listen to yourself: "I'm starting to develop feelings for her" and "I've been clingy". And you are "going to inviter her over when the BF is away". Dude, you are about to get a very harsh, but valuable lesson in women. She has you exactly where she wants you. I could tell you exactly what is going to happen, and how this is going to end, but nothing anyone here says will make you change your mind. You came here looking for advice on how to make her your girl; you'll soon see.

It is a little odd that you can conclude about her intentions from so little information. It must be because I wrote about what I feel about her. Why does this matter so much? What if I had left this information out and only wrote about her actions? I just wonder.

I'm aware of that she could be just playing, and I plan to play it cool from now on. I'm not that hooked, mostly horny

 

[sparky uk]

She has been flirting with you for 2 months! And the moment you start getting a little close, she pulled away. This is how they work. She flirts with you and sucks her BF's ****. If she really wanted to get with you, she would of make it very easy and obvious; well beyond flirting. Attention *****s use the incredible sexual power that women possess to manipulate men.

She rubs her tits on you and you get horny; you attempt to escalate yourself and she pulls away; and when you get to the point of asking her to get together, which she knows is coming, she'll act all innocent and say "You knew I had a BF" or "You knew we were just friends, didn't you?", or "Jeez, I'm sorry if I lead you to believe there was something more going on than just friendly banter".

The attention ***** will escalate her flirting until she gets your validation with the "ask out" or "telling her how you really feel". And once she gets that validation, her ego is satisfied and she moves on. Again, notice how she has escalated from words, to pressing her tits and thigh against you? And now she has progressed to asking if you have a GF? She now has you to the point were you are going to make a move, and when you do, she already has her speech prepared.

How do I know this? It's called being 34 and having dealt with dozens of attention *****s. A chick who is seriously into you will go beyond flirting to let you know. She will make it easy and obvious. But if it is just escalated flirting for over 2 months, she's just loves the attention and wants to see if she can get you to go AFC to validate her. Do what you're going to do, but it's probably something you need to experience. Good Luck.

Too true
it happened to me, don`t give her any more attention, you are just an ego boost.
Good luck

 

[stuka1939]

This happened to me, too...a girl I worked with who had a boyfriend flirted with me. I f*cked her for about nine months. Luckily it was a job that was ending soon, and she and her bf broke up as well.

I never asked her out or told her how I felt or anything AFC...she just went out of her way to throw her self at me, so I figured, what the hell.

HOLY ****!! I am going through the same thing (well sort of)

I am 31 and this 21 year old (who has a boyfriend) has been flirty with me since day one when I started my job 4 months ago. I am full-time and she is part-time, so I don't see her too often.

She never mentioned she had a boyfriend until I decided to ask her to hang out and she dropped the boyfriend line.

She is still very flirty, but I don't act AFC at all.

I think she is using me for her ego boost as well or trying to make her AFC ex-boyfriend (who works there) jealous.

She'll write an e-mail like you need to stop by the desk because I look real nice tonight, unlike some other nights, expecting me to write back...You look nice every night.

 

[jophil28]

She never mentioned she had a boyfriend until I decided to ask her to hang out and she dropped the boyfriend line.

This is the litmus test, children.
Asking her out will test her bona fides.

A women with genuine interest in you will eagerly accept an invite from you or make a counter offer - after all, an invite from you is what she has been working towards.
An AW, however, will baulk and make excuses and may then reveal the existence of "the boyfriend" .

Do no waste any time on flirty women UNTIL you have qualified her as single AND having genuine IL in you.
.
The thinking that you can show how great of a guy you are and compete and
"beat" her B/f is stupid. She is invested in him, not you. You are her office distraction , he is her SO.

 

[CFERD]

I agree with DonS. Sometimes we need to experience things firsthand though. I guess it won't fell ackward for too long if your changing jobs soon anyhow. Jophil's also pretty much said everything else that matters.

 

[stuka1939]

This is the litmus test, children.
Asking her out will test her bona fides.

A women with genuine interest in you will eagerly accept an invite from you or make a counter offer - after all, an invite from you is what she has been working towards.
An AW, however, will baulk and make excuses and may then reveal the existence of "the boyfriend" .

Do no waste any time on flirty women UNTIL you have qualified her as single AND having genuine IL in you.
.
The thinking that you can show how great of a guy you are and compete and
"beat" her B/f is stupid. She is invested in him, not you. You are her office distraction , he is her SO.

You are probably right, but who knows 100%.

I am not sure how long she has been with this guy and she never mentions her boyfriend in conversation. However, I know she has a REAL boyfriend becuase I have seen him.

 

[stuka1939]

You are probably right, but who knows 100%.

I am not sure how long she has been with this guy and she never mentions her boyfriend in conversation. However, I know she has a REAL boyfriend becuase I have seen him.

You guys would be PROUD though. She works downstairs...I NEVER complement her or hang out at the desk where she works.

She asked me the other day via e-mail to stop by and I wrote back..."I only go down there unless I have a reason too and I don't want to look like I am wondering around."

 

[jophil28]

You guys would be PROUD though. She works downstairs...I NEVER complement her or hang out at the desk where she works.

She asked me the other day via e-mail to stop by and I wrote back..."I only go down there unless I have a reason too and I don't want to look like I am wondering around."

You probably meant to say, " I only go down there WHEN I have a reason to...." ( or " IF I have a reason to ....")

 

[stuka1939]

You probably meant to say, " I only go down there WHEN I have a reason to...." ( or " IF I have a reason to ....")

What is wrong with saying, unless I have a reason too?

 

[jophil28]

She never mentioned she had a boyfriend until I decided to ask her to hang out and she dropped the boyfriend line.

Another AW hard at work doing what AWs do..
Your quote above tells you all about her motivations and her true agenda.
"I have a boyfriend .." is a buffer, a shield or a stonewall to shut down your advance when she detects that you might just want something from her . AWs are consumed with THEIR wants and whims. There is NEVER any reciprocity or intention to create a grown up relationship.

She is simply feeding her ego from the flirty mind game that she is playing with you.
The way to win is NOT to play. Cut her off .

 

[jophil28]

What is wrong with saying, unless I have a reason too?

You already made your visit conditional by using the word "only" . That makes the word "unless" redundant and the sentence become confusing and somewhat contradictory.

Perhaps, " I do not go down there UNLESS I have a reason to ..."

Anyways,she is going to play you UNLESS you cut her off.

 

[stuka1939]

You already made your visit conditional by using the word "only" . That makes the word "unless" redundant and the sentence become confusing and somewhat contradictory.

Perhaps, " I do not go down there UNLESS I have a reason to ..."

Anyways,she is going to play you UNLESS you cut her off.

Well, don't worry...I am not acting all AFC...I am just playing it cool.

I already asked her out once and I am not going to do it again.

If she wants to get together with me, the ball is in her court....

and I don't want to hear, she will never leave her boyfriend and she is just using me....that could be true...but

maybe I AM A BETTER CATCH THAN HER BOYFRIEND.

 

[sodbuster]

You are missing the whole point of this discussion. She has a warped personallity. She needs to have constant attention/validation from men[not a man,men] SHe will "accidentally" rub her boobs against you,hug you like an old friend in the bar when she meets you[the second time],ask for your phone number,then not want to give you hers;anything it takes to get enough attention. She may play you and never date you or she may actually date you[worse] and then rub her boobs on the next guy. IF you want to "hit it and quit it", the worst you'll get is blue balls. If you want a relationship with her,you have my sympathies now[you'll need them later].
If she thought you were a better catch than her BF, she would have gone out with you[she could have counter offered with a different date,time,whatever it took to get the first date to check you out before dumping her BF and dumped him.
As robin Williams said"God gave man a penis and a brain. And enough blood flow to run one of them at a time"

 

[CFERD]

Dam that is too funny. When I was reading DonS's post I was wondering how he could be so sure he knew what was going to happen. Seems he was spot on. I think he's right again OP, it was something you just needed to experience. I wouldn't look at it as the ball is in her court, the game is over and she won. But you learned something about ugliness of some women. So your a winner too!