Girl asks if I’m seeing other girls?

[Lordeterra]

I’ve been talking with this girl I’ve been banging for 5 months banging like 4x a week. Lately she’s been pulling away and saying she’s been busy so could only see me for a week. I know this is bs as girls will make time for a guy they like no matter what. I’m thinking she’s saying If I’m seeing girls so she can feel better about seeing other guys which I think she’s doing. What do you guys think? I busted a huge nut in her last night so it’s not like she’s pushing me away completely (I know tmi). What would you guys do? I’m just ignoring her for now

 

[Lordeterra]

You sound oneitis-y. She would sense this. Women have a dog's sense for knowing when you're over-invested.

You're seeing her 4 times per week. This is way too much, in my opinion. Who is initiating the meet-ups? It should be her initiating 90% of the time.

Go back through your messages and look at who is messaging more. She should be messaging you twice as much as you're messaging her (at least).

You need to walk away and mean it, and only re-consider taking her back if she comes back begging and pleading for your salami. At this point, you keep her in a state of anxious pursuit of you for as long as you want the relationship to last. Huge caveat here, she likely won't try to come back when you walk away. The best thing you can do to give yourself the highest chance is to completely ghost her with no explanation, and wait for her to have a mental breakdown.

Currently, you're in a dynamic where you want her more than she wants you. This is a death sentence and a pu$$y-killer.

At first she wanted me
Bad. driving two hours both ways to see me 4x a week and wanting more and more and saying she’s **** me everyday if I moved closer. I do get oneitisy when I see a girl for a certain period. I’m pulling away and seeing other girls to get back to homeostasis

 

[Lordeterra]

This is exactly why you have to limit the amount of time you spend with a girl. If you see a girl 4X per week, then you are going to get attached.

Yeah, girls want you in the beginning. But then guys over-invest and make it too easy for them, and they get turned off. You can't change women and what they are attracted to, you have to play your part as a Man and make yourself a bit scarce otherwise you just get taken for granted.

Yeah that’s what I’m going to do rn. I’m going to ignore her for a month. Honestly ****ing her has been taking away from other parts of my life. One thing not discussed enough is how much life can slip by just fvcking
Girls. It feels amazing especially if she’s on birth control but if your fvckimg good you’re drained after. I’m more tired from sex than I am from a 4 hour gym session seriously

 

[derby1]

"Nothing Serious"

but she will want commitment from you after this long, so be very careful how you tread

 

[MoMoses]

I’ve been talking with this girl I’ve been banging for 5 months banging like 4x a week. Lately she’s been pulling away and saying she’s been busy so could only see me for a week. I know this is bs as girls will make time for a guy they like no matter what. I’m thinking she’s saying If I’m seeing girls so she can feel better about seeing other guys which I think she’s doing. What do you guys think? I busted a huge nut in her last night so it’s not like she’s pushing me away completely (I know tmi). What would you guys do? I’m just ignoring her for now

I wouldn't worry too much at this point. Girls do this.. they pull away from time to time. It doesn't always mean there's something you did or didn't do. Always expect her to pull away at some point. Five months without her pulling a stunt like this? That's great man. She's a good girl.

You're right though. Girls will always make time for the guy they like. But she's been seeing/doing you for 5 months, 4 times a week, that's 80 dates, more of less. You're no longer a novelty. It really isn't that strange that she pulls away at this point. Pulling away only means trouble if you react to it in the wrong way. Trust me. Did that too many F-ing times.

Give her space. Don't chase and don't act childish or butt hurt by ignoring her. If she reaches out and you start ignoring her she will sense that you are affected by her pulling away. It will lower her attraction for you. See this as an opportunity to raise her attraction for you in stead, by acting confident in yourself and therefor confident in the relationship.

Be unfazed by it. Let her go off and do her own thing and like @Pan87 said above.. let her contact you. If she gets curious and texts you, assume she wants to see you and ask her to meet up. But don't - I repeat - don't go after her and text her all the time because you think you will lose her otherwise. The opposite is true. But you seem to know that already.

If there is another dude you cannot talk her attraction for that guy out of her head. You just can't. Just be confident in yourself and let that other dude mess things up because most guys don't have a clue what they are doing, especially at that age (no offence). She will come back to you when that happens, with even more attraction than before because you turned out to be strong (the contrast with that weak dude will rub off on you in a good way).

However, if there isn't another dude and you wrongfully think there is one you will come off as being jealous, needy and insecure. This is a relationship killing handgrenate. There's no coming back from that.

 

[Romanemp22]

Simply answer YES

 

[Lordeterra]

Not going to tell her. Ignoring her after this

 

[MoMoses]

When she asks you if you are (still) seeing other women

Your answer is "Yes I am."
99% of guys fvck this up. They say something like, "No I'm not. You're the only girl I'm talking to."

I respectfully disagree. When the question is asked, you need to maintain some mystery. You are not obliged to answer any of a woman's questions.

I find this very interesting because this is something I've had problems with in the past. Some girls get a high from hearing you're seeing other women, they tend to step it up a notch and seem to want you more.. So @Hank Moody has some point here

However, at other times girls got really uncomfortable with this and I lost them quicker than I got them. They didn't like the fact that I was still dating/seeing other girls and they didn't even know I was F-ing them too. You really have to sense what kind of girl she is.. the ones that are looking for something potentially serious won't accept this. And the crazy jealous ones neither, but that's not a loss.

Being vague about it (mystery) also has the potential to blow up in my face, but way less so, thus I'd say @Pan87 has a point here. The girls that don't like me being vague are usually the same kind of girls that wouldn't like hearing about me dating other women, so most of the times it just pays off to keep things mysterious.

 

[MoMoses]

Not going to tell her. Ignoring her after this

Dude, if she has half a brain and enough self respect she will walk away if you do this. Only when she has low self esteem or is extremely into you will this work.

also: very classy comment you tried to erase. You telling her to shut the F up and get man handled? Good luck, she's better off without you

 

[Barrister]

When she asks you if you are (still) seeing other women





I find this very interesting because this is something I've had problems with in the past. Some girls get a high from hearing you're seeing other women, they tend to step it up a notch and seem to want you more.. So @Hank Moody has some point here

However, at other times girls got really uncomfortable with this and I lost them quicker than I got them. They didn't like the fact that I was still dating/seeing other girls and they didn't even know I was F-ing them too. You really have to sense what kind of girl she is.. the ones that are looking for something potentially serious won't accept this. And the crazy jealous ones neither, but that's not a loss.

Being vague about it (mystery) also has the potential to blow up in my face, but way less so, thus I'd say @Pan87 has a point here. The girls that don't like me being vague are usually the same kind of girls that wouldn't like hearing about me dating other women, so most of the times it just pays off to keep things mysterious.

It also depends on how long you’ve been seeing them. If it’s a brand new thing them hearing you have options is a good thing and you should answer that you are. If you’ve been seeing them for some time and you sense she’s wanting some commitment then answering you’re seeing other women may make her move on from you.

 

[MoMoses]

It also depends on how long you’ve been seeing them. If it’s a brand new thing them hearing you have options is a good thing and you should answer that you are. If you’ve been seeing them for some time and you sense she’s wanting some commitment then answering you’re seeing other women may make her move on from you.

Very true!

Also, rubbing it in her face that you're banging other women also breeds resentment. I've been there. Not worth it.

Ain't that a fact Been there aswell. You learn by trial and error I guess

 

[Lordeterra]

Dude, if she has half a brain and enough self respect she will walk away if you do this. Only when she has low self esteem or is extremely into you will this work.

also: very classy comment you tried to erase. You telling her to shut the F up and get man handled? Good luck, she's better off without you

Yeah I’m kind of a ****. Ducked her in the ass and came in her ***** deep last night and told her to go grab me 2 2x2 at in n out without me paying. Life’s good

 

[Velasco]

Girl: r u seeing any other girls?
Playa: y?
Girl: reason
Playa: lol

 

[Lordeterra]

Are you in Texas? Or another country?

No. I’m in’merica

 

[Paper Crane]

gotta feel her out man. there's always a reason WHY a girl asks **** like that. part of being a playa is being really clever. with some girls you straight up gotta tell them "nah not really". If they keep prodding you on it, all that means is they're getting a little too emotionally involved. Tell them stop thinking so much. If they keep insisting "sorry, im not looking for a girlfriend."

 

[FuzzX]

No, would I lie? Then wink and smile.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Lets be honest, girls are always talking to other guys or grooming your replacement for when you **** up

 

[Lordeterra]

Update I say I am and this is the response

 

[EyeBRollin]

2 red flags :

1) 4xs per week is a frequency only a wife should get

2) 5 months of commitment free sex is usually past the expiration date. Why hasn’t she asked for exclusivity yet?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My standard answer is "somewhere between 0 and 100" with a smirk. And leave it up to their imagination without admitting to anything.