Girl Asked for Text Reminder

[Nickface]

Good job my man. I think you handled the situation pretty well. All in all, it sounded like it was positive. I learned something here so this was a good post. Do you think your going to date her again? You think this was a problem now, wait till the roller coaster of getting her on second date and everything that comes along with it lol.

Btw good game between pacers and blazers!

 

[SeeThruIt]

Glad it turned out well, my two cents:

1. It was either a sh!t test OR she has dealt with a lot of guys blowing her off in the past, I dated a girl who experienced this and she needed constant affirmation and I knew it wasn't a power move. She was insecure about it.

2. If a girl says that to you again after making plans just simply say right there and then "here's your reminder, see you at (place/time)" or even text it right there in front of her

 

[E-Male]

Good job my man. I think you handled the situation pretty well. All in all, it sounded like it was positive. I learned something here so this was a good post. Do you think your going to date her again? You think this was a problem now, wait till the roller coaster of getting her on second date and everything that comes along with it lol.

Btw good game between pacers and blazers!

Thanks, bud. Yeah, when we were walking to her car, I said "We'll do this again some time." She agreed. Seemed sincere, so we'll see. I have to see her at least once a week on campus (Tuesdays), so I don't have to fret about when to call/text next. So that's convenient. I'm going to shoot for the weekend after next to give it a little time and also to not do something on Valentine's weekend.

Yeah, it was a good game! When I got home and watched the clips on ESPN, I wished I hadn't missed most of it on the date, HA. But we watched the end of the 4th quarter and the OT -- the end of a game is usually the best part anyway.

 

[G_Govan]

This can be a workable situation, but realize that the whole texting issue is a power play and she has maintained her frame throughout. It also means YOU aren't a priority to be remembered, in so many words.

If nothing else I would've turned the tables and said "if you can't make it, send ME a text". It's not like you planned this a month in advance.

You got upset about it, but you KNEW she was going to do this, she pretty much told you.

Also, I'm not 100% sure she knew this was a date at first.

This is irrelevant, you asked her out, there's nothing more or less to read from that other than you wanting to f-ck her. She was fully aware of this from the moment you began talking to her. You're in the courting phase.

You've already shown her your cards unfortunately and she knows you're invested so she has the upper hand at the moment. There are ways for you to gain leverage but it's never guaranteed because she may simply not be that interested and you didn't start strong.

I have no idea whether this will work out, but there are a number of things I would've done differently. If you aren't spinning plates I would make that a priority because a lack of options will make gaming women who aren't already showing high interest an uphill battle.

 

[jafyk]

Update:

Alright, fellas. Here's the story (long post).

It ended up being a combination of her expecting me to text her and maybe not thinking of it as a date at first.

I go and wait the 15 minutes. Of course she doesn't show. I was pretty ticked off, since I knew this was going to happen. Plus, I'd had a beer and I never drink. I texted her.

I'm pleased with how I handled this text situation.

Me: Are you here? I'm at a table by the bar
5 minute gap
Her: Okay, on my way.
Me: Did you forget?
Giving her some initial sense of my dissatisfaction here.
Her: Haha no I thought you were going to text if/when you were going!
Me: We set that up, day/time. How long's it gonna take you?
7 minute gap. Here I was giving her the idea that I wasn't happy about waiting and that I might leave. The time gap was either her traveling or delaying so that I wouldn't leave before she took off.
Her: You have to confirm day of! People are flakey. Less than 10 min
Me: True. Have you taken off?
More pressure. I'm not going to wait much longer.
Her: Yes, on the way
Probably another 10-15 minutes later she shows up.

All said I was there about 40 mins before she got there. Honestly, those texts weren't just my game. I was seriously considering leaving and letting her show up with me not being there. But I knew I'd regret it. And you'll see that it worked out well.

Knowing I couldn't let the thing pass (just like others mentioned in this thread), I immediately started giving her hell about it. I told her I normally would have texted her the day of, but since she told me to text her so she wouldn't forget, I wasn't going to take an order from her. I told her I haven't taken orders since I was in the military. "Would you respect me as a man if you said 'Jump' and I said 'How high'?". I said all this joking of course, but there was obviously a certain amount of tension there. She claimed she hadn't said she would forget without a text. HA.

To this point, I handled things well. Here's where I slipped some. I'd had a beer and a half by the time she arrived and I'm a total lightweight (I'm a health/fitness nut). I was fairly tipsy. Bear that in mind. The first half hour or so I went beyond ****y with her. I was just a straight-up jerk for the most part. I was really burned about waiting so long for her and it had to really show. Also, I'm not 100% sure she knew this was a date at first.

But the rest of it turned out well. The conversation picked up significantly and things got pleasant (which, by amazing coincidence, seemed to coincide w/ my sobering up, ha!). We were there (sports bar) to watch a basketball game (Pacers-Trailblazers), but didn't watch a lot since we were talking so much. Had appetizers and shared some with each other. Some touching. Got to know each other quite a bit more. The game went to overtime so it stretched the time out to the point where the date was getting too long (but I wasn't going to miss the end of a great game for this, of course). My team won (always a positive). Walked her to her car. Hand on back. Hugged.

So there you have it. I'm still not pleased with the whole "text a reminder" thing, but it all worked out.

So...... if you ever have a girl pull a line like this on you ("Text me so I don't forget."), obviously don't do something stupid like I did and say, "Yeah, sure." Say something alpha. "You won't need one. You won't forget a night out with me." "Exactly how full is your social calendar that you could forget dinner with a guy like me?" Or some crap like that.

But if you do mess up like I did, I suggest you handle the situation like I did. Don't text. Go to the date as planned. Wait 10-20 minutes. Text her, "Are you here?" Trust me -- she didn't forget you. If she's interested, she'll still want to come. Like this girl did tonight. Then put pressure on her. Let her know sub-textually (no pun intended) that you're not happy about waiting and you're considering leaving. You should be golden.

Of course, you might have to adjust times, etc. if she doesn't live close (like I knew this girl does), but you get the point.

There's my story and my two cents.

Sorry, I disagree with your post. Who's the joke on? You who waited 40 minutes while being upset about it (and trying to hide it)for a girl to show up or the girl who showed up at her own convenience? Part of being a guy and leading is directing the girl. It's just what regular people do. When you agree to meet up you check in with each other closer to the agreed time incase there's any change in plan at each other's end or simply say if anything changes let me know. Sometimes people forget for whatever reason.

The moment you asked her out a bit of the power already went to her. She didn't have to show up and she would probably have 3 other guys asking her out too. If you were that offended by her asking for a reminder. You could've just giving her a variation of "Hey, I asked you out. Send me a text or call me at 2hrs before the day of to confirm. So, I know you are gonna flake" (in a ****y kinda way). If she's serious she will agree and call you 2 hrs before and then you'd know she's interested and you wouldn't have gone there to wait for her for 40 mins while being silently upset. Guys flake too, so is it so strange she kind of wanted guarantees you weren't one of those guy? These things some times work both ways. If my memory serves me right. She should actually be the one waiting for you to show up and you come in a lil bit after her, so you don't look eager. Well, that's if those silly unwritten rules are your cup of cake. I think it's fair that a girl who just met you for a few minutes may not be over the top excited (interested) in you in the same way she would be after the date. Especially, when she probably gets asked out all the time.

 

[VladPatton]

Not bad, but I wish you would of gone for a kiss for the 40 min wait.

 

[TheCWord]

Not bad, but I wish you would of gone for a kiss for the 40 min wait.

Yeah, really. I'm worried about our friend the OP's situation with this girl. I hope it works out for the best, but 40 min late + didn't really know it was a date + no kiss does not make this girl a promising prospect.

For the future, our health and fitness nut compadre will no doubt be more clear with his future dates that yes of f*cking course this is a date, this is the time and place we're doing it, and if you show up (knowing it's a date and going along with the plans) then I'm going to be confident enough to go for the kiss.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

If a girl says that to you again after making plans just simply say right there and then "here's your reminder, see you at (place/time)" or even text it right there in front of her

This is great, rep +1

I think the date went alright, she showed up. She had asked for a reminder, remember, he originally said he would give her a reminder....and he didn't. (that's why I said to remind her the day before)

Her: Haha no I thought you were going to text if/when you were going!
Her: You have to confirm day of! People are flakey. Less than 10 min

^^^^This is perfectly fine IMO

When he did give her the reminder, she got ready and showed up.

Plus he was there watching the game anyways, no big deal. It would have better if he would have gotten the kiss I agree, but maybe it wasn't there, he didn't want to force it. He held his frame, gave her some $hit, some good convo. He'll see her around...he'll have some more chances.

 

[G_Govan]

When he did give her the reminder, she got ready and showed up.

Plus he was there watching the game anyways, no big deal. It would have better if he would have gotten the kiss I agree, but maybe it wasn't there, he didn't want to force it. He held his frame, gave her some $hit, some good convo. He'll see her around...he'll have some more chances.

There's something that remains a constant here though, she's in the driver's seat and she stuck to her guns. He also verbalized to her that he was pissed off because he doesn't normally take orders from people.........well he did take orders, from HER. The damage was already done and having a discussion about it made it that much worse. I would never have brought it up.

Women respond much better to covert communication. Showing strong emotion over things like this tells her that you don't have other options and comes off a little desperate.

In the end she showed up and was pleasant so I'm not saying this won't go anywhere, but I think it's important to point things out like this so guys are more aware of the unspoken game that women run to maintain the upper hand.

I've been a big fan of Anti-Dump from years ago. It's served me well, very well.